Powerless (Power Series Book 1)

by Lauren Cooper

  “HELP!” I manage to shout, squeezing my eyes shut as the roar of my own blood fills my ears. Hoping with my painful throat, that my plea for help was loud enough, I will my eyes to open.

  Before I can blink away the stars swarming in my vision, my attacker’s hands are gone, and Becca’s face appears as her eyes almost bulge out of her head. Pain slices across my neck as I fall forward, away from the wall, thankful for the relief as the scratchy brick leaves my skin. Sucking in a breath, I feel my lungs inflate with oxygen before panic sets in at what he held to my neck. Clutching at my throat, I absentmindedly make sure it’s still there. I stumble further away before I notice the lump of a man on the floor, covering his face with his attacker hands as Liam pulls his back and smashes his fist down onto him. What the fuck? Where did he come from? Becca grabs my arm and tugs me further out of the way, draping my coat over my shoulders. My ears ring at the clattering of something falling to the ground, and that’s when I see the glistening blade of a knife. Shards of light bounce off the steel, burning my irises as realization sets deep in my core. Why is this happening? Quaking in my heels, my knees turn weaker as impending doom sets its grey, thunderous cloud over me. I shudder, as unwelcome tears start to fall freely down my cheeks. Security from the club come running from the doors and pick the guy up from the floor. Liam is chattering in the distance about ‘this is him’, ‘don’t let him out of your sight again’, ‘I want him locked up’ I’m so confused by the events of the past ten minutes, I just want to go home. My head hurts and me eyes burn as my salty tears mix with mascara. I want my bed, where I can bury myself away and hide from the rubbish tip that has become of my life. Always in control, always knowing what my next move was, to falling and failing.

  Becca hails us a cab, her one arm outstretched as her other holds me tightly around the waist.

  “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Her voice sounds a little strained when she asks, and her gaze is skirting all over me looking for some obvious injuries. I bury deeper into her hold and shake my head slightly.

  “No, honestly I’m fine” glad that my voice comes out smooth and firm, suddenly sober. My hand plays aimlessly with my neck, as if it’s going to rid of the invisible branding left by the knife. A warm, wet trickle suddenly filters across my fingers. Pulling my hand back I look at the bright red liquid staining my fingertips. “Oh God” I gasp, pushing my hand back to my neck. Becca’s head swings round, obviously noticing that I’m bleeding, as her eyes go wide with horror. “Shit! LIAM!” she shouts, her hand coming to rest over mine.

  Chapter Ten

  Liam rushes over, his suit jacket billowing in the wind, glancing between Becca and me, his eyes narrow at our hands entwined tightly around my neck. “She’s bleeding! He cut her” Becca’s panicked voice makes more tears stream down my cheeks. Liam’s eyes go so wide I think they’ll pop out of his head. My chest rises and falls quicker than is considered normal and I know an attack is imminent. I can’t see where the blood is coming from. I can’t see it. I need to see it.

  “Let me see!” he demands, prying Becca’s hand away from my neck. I glance at her tiny fingers, covered in my crimson blood. It can’t be that bad of a cut otherwise I wouldn’t be standing. Right? Slowly she removed her hand further, and I untangle mine, allowing Liam a better view. Dipping his head and tilting my chin with a firm grip, narrowing his eyes he assesses the damage. “Okay. You’re alright, it’s not deep but you might need a stitch or two” Pulling a handkerchief out of pocket he holds it against my neck. “Hold that there, it should help stop the bleeding”

  “Thank you” I croak. Not missing the irony that this isn’t what I had planned when I wanted to bump into him tonight.

  “Thank God!” Becca sighs, tearing my thoughts back.

  “You should still get checked out. The police are on their way” Liam’s hand comes around to the small of my back. I wince as he catches some of the newly formed scrapes there.

  “No, I don’t want to talk to the police. I want to go home”

  “Amelia, you have to give a statement”

  “NO!” I almost shout, wincing at the pain in my throat.

  “Liam” Becca nods her head to side, indicating for Liam to follow her. He glances between me and her before walking slightly and ducking his head to hear her. I don’t care what she’s telling him, I want to go home. The comfort of my four walls and a dead-bolted door.

  “You can head home if you want. I’ll see that she’s okay” Liam turns to Becca as they walk back towards me.

  “I’m not leaving her” Becca shakes her head as he speaks.

  “I’m fine” I wave my hand between the pair of them. “Honestly, I can get home” I know I’m going to have an attack, I can feel the panic slithering up from the tips of my toes and I want to be alone when it hits.

  “You need to be looked at Amelia. Especially if you don’t want to involve the police” Liam scolds, his face turning almost thunderous.

  “He’s right Mia”

  “No. I just want to go home” my voice cracks but I hope it sounded a lot firmer to them than it did to me. I’m an adult now, no one can make me do anything. Fuck if I don’t sound like a hormonal teenager. Liam sighs heavily before glancing at Becca again. Sympathy and defeat flash across his features before he speaks again.

  “I’ll take you home. Becca my driver will take you”

  “Oh, there’s no need…” she starts but Liam interrupts.

  “Why do women always argue?” he huffs before turning and facing me.

  “You will go home with me, I will make sure you are seen to” I go to argue but am interrupted when he faces Becca and points a long finger in her direction.

  “And you, will go home with my driver so I know you’re both safe”

  Becca glances at me, pursing her lips together, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips. I mouth the word ‘caveman’ at her before Liam snaps my attention back to him.

  “What was that?”

  “Nothing. Thank you, lets’ go” I agree, wanting to get out of here faster than I’m currently being allowed to.

  “Call me” Becca says before turning and heading towards the car Liam pointed out.

  “I will” I offer her a reassuring smile before watching her greet the driver and jumping into the car.

  I clutch my coat around me tighter, while maintaining pressure on my neck wound. I doubt it’s barley a scratch and their overreacting, but I don’t feel like being shouted at again.

  “Come on” Liam’s arm wraps around my waist as he guides me towards a waiting Range Rover Jeep. Opening the passenger side door for me, he ushers me inside. The warmth is welcoming from the bitter air and my frozen bones. Liam reaches across me with the seat belt and I get a waft of his spicy aftershave. I stiffen as he leans closer, fastening the belt before retreating outside. This is not how I imagined tonight would end.

  “I could have done that” I advise before he scrunches his brow at me like I’m a petulant child and slams the door.

  Liam hops into the driver side, giving me a quick once over before pulling out into traffic. I glance back at the club, at the brick wall that I was recently pressed up against and I blink my tears away. My back chafes against the fabric of my coat, irritating the already broken skin.

  “I’ll take you to the hospital first, and then I’ll take you home” Liam offers without tearing his eyes from the road. Panic seeps into my pores at the mere idea of going to such a sterile place. The warm interior of the car blends with the cold, itchy air of the hospital, and I suddenly feel breathless.

  “No. I can’t…No hospitals”

  “What?” he flicks his eyes to me briefly before coming to a stop at a red light.

  “I’m fine Liam, really. I don’t need to go to the hospital” I hope to god that he buys my plea. I will avoid hospitals for as long as I can, and I hold my neck tighter willing it to stop bleeding. If it stops he won’t take me.

  “Ame
lia…you’re neck…”

  “Liam. No” I don’t give him the chance to finish, my snappiness is unwarranted towards him, but I can’t help it. I won’t go to the hospital. I can’t! Not after last time. Liam inches the car forward as the lights change, and I suddenly feel queasy. The thought of going to a hospital still to this day makes my insides churn. The antiseptic smell, the taste of death and the searing pain. God the pain.

  Clutching my neck tighter, I start to feel light headed. I try to relax my hand, but it’s stuck around my wind pipe. The motion of the car rocks me from side to side, as I struggle to inhale. Spicy incense mix with my bleached memories, weighing on my chest like a two-ton man. My ribs ache as I try to draw in desperately needed air. Cracking sounds ring in my ears as my blood starts to drum in my ears. Another crack vibrates around me, bouncing around the plush interior of Liam’s car and I vaguely hear myself cry out. The pain. I squeeze my eyes tight, only for more memories to dance around my lids like evil little cinema movies.

  Crack. My ribs combust under the weight of a boot, the pain shooting around my midriff and down my legs. Tears spring to my eyes, as I fail to make a sound. Scrambling to my feet I clutch my arm around my broken bones as I run to freedom. Only for that freedom to turn into a tumbling, falling, fleeting sensation. I hit the floor with a thud, pain splices its way up my arm, across my shoulder and down to my already shattered ribs. Sucking in a breath, I pant as I will myself to get up. Get up! My right arm hangs limp by my side, and I have to fight to get my weight on my other as I tug myself to standing. Blessed oxygen finally makes its way into my shattered ribs as I limp slightly to the door. Freedom.

  “Amelia…Amelia…It’s okay”

  “Come on, breathe. No one’s going to hurt you”

  The voice is new. Screwing my eyes tighter, I wonder where I’ve heard it before. It isn’t one of them…one of my attackers. No. It isn’t my mother’s cracked, smoke riddled voice.

  “Amelia, I’ve got you. Come on sweetheart”

  Liam. It’s Liam’s voice I can hear. What is he doing here? He shouldn’t be here. They’ll kill him. My breathing accelerates as I struggle even more to escape.

  “Amelia!”

  I snap my eyes open, a little dazed as the fog struggles to clear.

  “It’s okay. I’m here, just breathe” Liam is crouched down in front of me on the pavement. I glance around quickly and notice that he must have pulled over. My door is open, and my legs are swung over the side, my head is between my legs, pressed gently by Liam’s hand on my back.

  Sweet, ice cold air finally breaks the barrier of my panic attack and enters my lungs. I suck harder, willing my now healed ribs to inflate at the delicious sensation.

  “Slowly, slowly. That’s it” Liam’s voice finally breaks through the hurricane of my attack as his hand rubs soothing circles on my spine.

  Once my breathing returns to a relatively normal rate, I inch myself upwards. Liam remains on his haunches in front of me, staring up at me with crystal blue eyes, laced with concern.

  I blow out a puff of air, taking with it the last of the crushing feeling around each of my ribs.

  “Sorry” my voice is gravel in my throat and I wince slightly as it tears up my skin.

  “Don’t apologize Amelia. Take a few minutes okay?”

  I nod, not wanting my throat to rip itself to shreds. Liam stands but doesn’t leave my side. People whiz past him, not wanting to stop to see the hyperventilating woman in the car. I’m grateful that he’s closed the door slightly now, giving me more of an element of privacy.

  “You alright?” his voice is like a comfort blanket, wrapping me in his concern and warmth. I nod again before spinning myself back inside the car. Closing the door, he comes around and gets back in behind the wheel.

  We don’t say a word to each other as he reaches over the center console and takes my hand in his. Both our palms are frozen as he pulls out into the traffic, using one hand to steer us home.

  Chapter Eleven

  I’m tired and annoyed at tonight’s events and I have no release after my attack. Luckily, the past few times they’ve happened I’ve either been home or close enough to run. I usually spend hours in the shower, washing it away. Literally. I overthink everything, every tiny detail and now I’m second guessing Liam and his motives. Paranoia usually sets in with a vengeance in times like these, usually I can hide away for a day or two while I get myself in check. There definitely has never been a time where there has been a man involved with one. Why do I care? Suddenly what my body wants, and what my mind needs becomes clear. My head is pounding as my blood tries to regain a normal flow around my body. Mixed emotions about Liam swarm around my brain cells, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to be feeling. The anger bubbling away in my gut is winning over everything else, even being this close to him is infuriating me slightly. At a million and one miles an hour my mind remembers how much of arrogant idiot he was a few short weeks was ago, and how he’s turned that around to me wanting to sleep with him. After he left my flat on Friday my mind was awash with the different possibilities of why Liam would want to sleep with me. Coming to the conclusion that it must be to do with business made me uneasy, why else would a man like him be with a woman like me?

  “How where you there tonight?” I chance a glance in his direction and his eyes turn thunderous.

  “I told you, I was out with some friends” Turning his beautiful face away, he huffs out a breath and shakes his head. I can’t help but feel like I ruined his night, and I want nothing more than to shrivel up into a ball and hide. Awkward silence fills the car until we’re pulling into the parking garage at my building, I pull the door handle to jump out when Liam grabs my wrist gently, but I instinctively jump. I hate that I react like this, I wish I could just switch it off, but my body has other ideas. I turn to face him questioningly and he sighs.

  “I own a few clubs and bars around London. You just happened to be at both tonight. Becca told me you were going to be at the bar” My eyebrows shoot to the top of my head in surprise, and I nod my head in approval, thankful that he answered my unspoken question. Ah. That’s why the bartender acted strangely when he bought our wine! I had no idea he owned any nightclubs or bars. But then why would I know? I shake the thought away and edge out of his cars warm, leather embrace.

  “I’m sorry…” I start to say quietly before hopping down to the concrete of the garage floor.

  “Stop apologizing Amelia” he scolds, not moving from his seat.

  “Thank you for bringing me home” my voice is still scratchy against the palm of my hand, and I try to swallow it away.

  Liam gives me a soft smile before asking “Are you sure you’re okay?” he still hasn’t moved from his driver’s seat, and the concern in his eyes melts me into a puddle. I can’t remember the last time someone looked at me with so much affection in their eyes. He looks nothing like the demanding man I’ve come to know. Jekyll and Hyde come to mind. Bitter memories return, that evil reminder telling me that no one really cares enough about me, they just put up with me. It doesn’t usually bother me, but when I have an attack the feeling of loneliness hits me like a wrecking ball. I turn my head away, willing the damned tears away, but before I can react Liam is by my side pulling me into his embrace.

  “I’ve got you” he whispers against my hair, and I cling to his overcoat pathetically. Small sobs escape my dry lips as tears stream down my cheeks. My chest heaves in bursts as I struggle to contain myself, the anxiety pouring out of me now that I feel safe in his strong hold. I wish for nothing more than to be able to melt into his chest. I could burrow into his slabs of muscle and never emerge. I could be held safe and warm against his skin and watch on as life filtered past. After a few minutes of letting me blub into his rock-hard chest, Liam pulls away slightly, his head bowed allowing me a watery view of his baby blues. The night has clearly taken its toll on him too, his chestnut brown hair ruffled and falling slightly from his usually perfect quiff
. “Come on, let’s get you inside before you freeze” he instructs before pulling me slightly towards the lift with his arm draped across my shoulders.

  Still wrapped in his one arm, Liam takes my keys from my shaky fingers and lets us into my flat. A beautiful wall of heat slams into us as soon as we step inside, and I can’t help but eye Liam as he closes and dead-bolts the door. Relief washes over me as I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and the reality of tonight hits me like a ton of bricks. I rub my chest trying to ease the pain that’s stabbing itself between my ribs, when Liam grabs my arm and tugs me towards my bedroom. Really? Sensing my unease, he turns to face me as we walk down the hallway,

  “Are you sure you don’t want to involve the police?”

  I nod enthusiastically before he nods once. “Let’s get you get cleaned up then”

  “I…can manage” I stammer. I miss his touch instantly when he lets me go in my room. I turn to face him slightly before going into the bathroom. Please don’t leave.

  “I’m not going anywhere” he says quietly reassuring, before sitting on the edge of my bed. I offer him a small smile before going into my bathroom and shutting the door behind me. The bright spot lights bounce off the cream tiled walls, the tiny shards of gems hidden within them bounce the light around the room. I used to love them, but the instant I catch sight of myself in the huge vanity mirror I wish I had different lighting. I strip out of my clothes, shoving them straight in the bin under the vanity. No one likes those memories attached to clothes, besides it’s just an excuse to buy more. Turning the shower on I wait a beat for it to warm up, but not before I catch a full glimpse of myself in the mirror.

  My hair resembles that of some punk-rock kid, all tufted at the back, the beautiful curls from earlier all tangled into knots. My makeup is somewhat non-existent, only the black of my mascara creating panda marks around my eyes is visible. The cut on my neck is only small but looks worse than what it is. I leave Liam’s handkerchief on the side, covered in spots of sticky blood. I don’t think I’ll need stitches, but I do need to clean it. Luckily, I’m up to date on my tetanus shots, fuck knows where that blade has been. Turning slightly, I catch a glimpse at my back, only to see a few purply bruises and grazes there too. Sighing, I step into the steamy shower, letting the boiling water fall over me for a few minutes before reaching for my favorite rose-water soap. Upon closing my eyes, all I can see in their blackness is evil, cruel memories. The pounding sound of the water rings in my ears louder than it should, mixing with the roar of my own blood and blocking out any remaining hold I thought I had on reality.