Truth about Mr. Darcy

by Susan Adriani

  Elizabeth averted her eyes, unsure of what she should relate—certainly not their lovemaking from the previous night. “I… it was more, yes. To be honest, much more.” She dared a glance at Jane. “Are you terribly shocked?”

  “No, not terribly, I suppose. I always suspected with your liveliness and your passion for life, you might be inclined to act far more impetuously than I ever could, Lizzy. Oh dear! Please, forgive me. I certainly did not mean to imply such a thing!”

  Elizabeth only laughed. “Jane, please. You have said nothing at all that has caused me any offense. You are correct, though. I have never been, with regard to many matters, as conventional and reserved as our parents could have wished, nor so concerned with following the dictates of proper propriety as you undoubtedly are, especially where Mr. Darcy is concerned. As a matter of fact, my behavior, if you were aware of the half of it, would certainly shock you. Yet, still, I cannot bring myself to repent any of it. In fact, I would happily repeat it many times over. There. That, I am sure, must certainly succeed in shocking you.”

  “Oh, Lizzy, it is not what I think nor what anyone else thinks that truly matters, but what you believe. Surely, if Mr. Darcy does not object to receiving your affections, then what business is it of the rest of the world? So dear as you are to me, you must know I would never judge you in such a manner. We are, both of us, very different in our own ways, yet in some ways we are similar.”

  Elizabeth was surprised. “Jane, do you mean to tell me you have allowed Mr. Bingley to take liberties with you?” she teased.

  Jane looked down and examined her lap. “Not so many, Lizzy. We have held hands, and I have allowed him to kiss me. On several occasions in particular, his kisses were very… expressive. If Mr. Darcy’s kisses are half so pleasant as Charles’s kisses are, then I can certainly comprehend how it could easily lead to greater acts of intimacy between the two of you.”

  After such a bold declaration, Jane could not help blushing profusely, now more than eager to change the subject. “Enough. Now I will help you to dress, or you shall miss breakfast as well as supper.” As she assisted Elizabeth with her toilette, however, she fixed her with a sly look. “I am sure Mr. Darcy is quite anxious to see you, Lizzy. I do believe he would have come himself to inquire after you this morning if it had not been at all improper.”

  Elizabeth only smiled as Jane fastened the buttons on her gown.

  * * *

  Darcy slipped his arms around Elizabeth’s waist and pulled her into a sitting room just outside the breakfast parlor. “Forgive my boldness, Miss Bennet,” he whispered as he kissed her neck, “but it has been my observation that Caroline Bingley has never managed to look half so fetching while wearing this gown.”

  “Well then, sir, I shall take that as a compliment, although I cannot say I am at all comfortable wearing it in company.” Indeed, her décolletage was extremely revealing.

  He looked at her then with some degree of concern. “Are you…uncomfortable in any other way, Elizabeth? Last night… was I too rough with you, my love?”

  Elizabeth gazed into his troubled eyes. She gave him a small, reassuring smile and shook her head, her curls bobbing. “Not at all, Fitzwilliam. I feel only some minor soreness from all the… exercise we engaged in last night. Aside from that, and being a little tired, I am fine; as for being too rough with me, I can assure you, sir, that was not the case, far from it. You were all that was gentle and considerate.”

  Darcy sighed. “I am thankful to hear it.” He then looked away and, in a worried voice, said, “Are you… that is to say… do you at all…” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before finally saying, “Elizabeth, my love, do you now regret that we have anticipated our vows? Does it trouble you that you will no longer come to my bed as an innocent on our wedding night?” His agitation was extreme.

  Elizabeth reached out and, caressing his jaw, said, “Indeed, I have no regrets. I love you, Fitzwilliam, and I cannot but treasure this new-found intimacy between us just as I treasure you—with my whole heart. The only regret I have is that you may, very soon after we are married, in fact, find me shirking my duties as the mistress of Pemberley in favor of the far more pleasurable duties I now know I will have when I am your wife.”

  “Elizabeth,” he whispered, his eyes flaring as his gaze drifted from her lips to settle upon her ample bosom.

  Seeing as they were in a public room, however, Elizabeth felt it best to keep their physical interaction somewhat more chaste. In an attempt to divert his present musings, she laughed quietly and said, “May I dare to hope, sir, that there will be very little chance of my appearing in a gown such as this one once I become the mistress of your great estate? I doubt very much you would wish for your wife to appear in society wearing such a garish creation!” Her teasing, however, had precisely the opposite effect.

  Pressing her body more firmly against his, Darcy muttered, “Certainly not. However, I should have imagined you to be filled with nothing but gratitude today for having been spared the necessity of donning one of those dreadful orange horrors Miss Bingley seems to favor. Heaven knows she must have dozens at her disposal… though, I must confess, you would, no doubt, lend even the most unappealing garment in her wardrobe an air of complete allurement.” With a rakish look, he lowered his head to allow his lips to graze the enticing swell of her breasts as his thumbs caressed her nipples through the fabric.

  “Fitzwilliam, not here!” She pushed him away with an arch smile. Caroline Bingley’s disdainful voice could be heard with relative ease as she abused one of the servants over the sparse selection of fruit on the sideboard.

  “If not here, then where?” he whispered. “Elizabeth, take pity on me. You cannot expect me to conduct myself as a gentleman when you appear to such… advantage in this insidious dress.” His lips claimed hers with a ferocity that caught her off guard while his hands roamed along her curves in the most intoxicating manner. When Darcy finally released her, he rested his forehead against hers and said, “Truly, I have no idea how I will ever survive this engagement after making love to you last night. I fear I will never be able to sleep again without you in my arms.”

  “Mmm… nor I,” she murmured as she stroked his cheek. “When I awoke this morning, I was disappointed to find you gone, though I know I should not have been surprised. I realize the risk we took and how dangerous it would have been to be found together in such a compromising situation.”

  “It is perhaps more dangerous than we have considered. It has occurred to me there could be consequences from last night, Elizabeth, and perhaps from tonight, as well, should this storm continue as it does.” He gave her a deep, penetrating look that caused her eyes to widen and her breath to quicken.

  “I have been thinking that, perhaps, I should ride to London as soon as the weather clears to procure a special license, that is, if it is acceptable to you. I feel it would be for the best if we were to marry as soon as possible… for obvious reasons, though I cannot say I am anticipating the conversation I shall be forced to have with your father on this subject.”

  A blush heated Elizabeth’s cheeks, and she looked away. “No, I would imagine not. He will not be pleased.”

  “And I cannot say I would blame him. I would not be inclined to look favorably upon any man who came to me to suggest such a thing in Georgiana’s case.” Darcy could not stop himself from exploring the low neckline of her gown with the tips of his fingers.

  Elizabeth made a fair attempt to ignore him as she felt herself moved to confess certain concerns that had been preying upon her conscience. “What about my cousin? Our marrying so soon after becoming engaged will, no doubt, be seen as nothing short of scandalous, and it can only serve to help him carry his point with your aunt, as well, not to mention any gossips who may happen to hear the tales of our prior indiscretions.” She found it difficult to conceal her bitter resentment toward the clergyman and his officious interference.

  “And then there is the question of y
our sister. She will come out soon, and I would not wish to have society judge her unfairly based upon our sins any more than my own dear sisters. It pains me to think I may have brought such an injury upon her—I, whom she has never before so much as seen. Nor do I wish for the first report of me to reach her ears to be of my wanton behavior with her beloved brother. Whatever will she think of me, Fitzwilliam?”

  “You underestimate Georgiana, Elizabeth; and me, for that matter. Do you imagine that I have never written of you to my sister, nor enumerated your merits and charms in nearly every letter I have addressed to her since my first entering Hertfordshire? Do you believe her ignorant of my initial struggles and my utter elation upon your acceptance of my suit? Dearest, she knows all—or she very soon will—most particularly that we are to be husband and wife and that I love you unreservedly. Though I confess I would far prefer to shield her from any rumors of our unrestrained behavior, I am certain Georgiana will take any idle talk at face value and be willing to overlook the fact that we may have been rather more expressive in our affections because I love you so very dearly and cannot do without you. Both she and I have been alone for so long, with only each other. Please trust me when I say Georgiana will feel nothing but joy for our union and very soon grow to love you as a sister.”

  Darcy paused to kiss her and then sighed. “As for my aunt, if there is one thing we can rely on in that quarter, it is Lady Catherine’s absolute secrecy in this matter. As you may already have surmised, she is extremely concerned with appearances and familial duty. She would never wish to have my name or that of Pemberley linked with a scandal. It would only serve to taint my cousin Anne and, therefore, Rosings and her by association, since any rumor of a union between my cousin and me has long been purported exclusively by her own mouth for many years now. Believe me, no matter how much my choice may displease her, and no matter how vehemently she may vocalize her disapprobation to my face, Lady Catherine will remain the soul of discretion when in company.” He brushed a stray curl from Elizabeth’s cheek as she nestled against his coat.

  Elizabeth drew comfort from his closeness. “I hope you are correct. I will have to trust you in this, since I am not acquainted with either lady, but I cannot undervalue my own cousin’s vindictive determination to expose us to censure and scorn. I believe, sir, where your aunt is concerned, Mr. Collins can be faithfully relied upon to do nothing by halves.”

  “We need not concern ourselves with Mr. Collins today. I doubt the weather will show any sign of improvement before nightfall; therefore, you may consider him every bit as stranded at Lucas Lodge as we are here at Netherfield. No word will reach my aunt for several days at least, and by then I will have obtained the license and made the proper arrangements. All will be well, my love. Until then, let us talk of more pleasant things.” Darcy gave Elizabeth a warm look full of love and longing, which she could not but return with equal sincerity, and they did, indeed, proceed to engage their mouths in far more pleasant musings, though no conversation could be discerned by anyone happening to file out of the breakfast parlor.

  * * *

  Darcy had been correct in one particular aspect—the storm did not abate, and by the close of the evening, Jane and Elizabeth found themselves required to extend their stay at Netherfield one more night, much to the delight of Bingley and Darcy. All four lovers had to admit, however, their daytime activities would have been passed in a far more agreeable manner had Bingley’s sister, Caroline, been stranded at his brother-in-law’s house in Town rather than at Netherfield with them.

  After experiencing countless days of continued frustration in which Miss Bingley could no longer ignore the fact that Darcy, much like her brother, now all but lived at Longbourn—as well as all the disturbing implications to be associated with such marked attentions—she had begun to grow agitated and distressed. Since witnessing Darcy’s scandalous behavior toward Elizabeth at the ball, she had longed for an opportunity to be alone with the master of Pemberley without the overt interference of Elizabeth Bennet. When Darcy and her brother opted to spend the previous day at home rather than travel to Longbourn, Miss Bingley had believed providence had finally granted her just such an opportunity, but her hopes were soon dashed by the arrival of the two eldest Miss Bennets.

  Though she was well able to tolerate Jane’s society with some small degree of insincere civility, she had yet to master the art of extending such a courtesy to Elizabeth, and after having finally rid herself of one ailing Bennet not many weeks earlier, one could hardly have expected her to be anything less than incensed to learn of another—and her least favorite, at that—falling ill shortly after arriving at Netherfield. Her only consolation with such a repetition of history had come from the knowledge that even someone as reputedly impertinent as Elizabeth Bennet could hardly continue to influence Darcy with her charms from the confines of her guest chambers abovestairs. If she had only known how very wrong she was!

  It was with great irritation that Miss Bingley forced herself to think back to the distasteful events of the previous day. Shortly after Elizabeth had retired to rest herself, Miss Bingley had sought out Darcy, eventually tracking him down in the library, where he appeared to be pacing in agitation, a worried frown creasing his countenance. Immediately, she imagined him to be worrying over Elizabeth, which vexed her to no end. Consumed by her jealousy and a poorly directed ill humor, Miss Bingley soon found herself making disparaging remarks at the expense of the second-eldest Miss Bennet, a terribly unwise tactic to use on Darcy at such a moment.

  “I certainly hope, Mr. Darcy, you are not troubling yourself unnecessarily over the indisposition of Elizabeth Bennet”—she smiled—“for I daresay her fine eyes will not long suffer the ill effects of having traveled a mere three miles in a coach.”

  Darcy pursed his lips, opting to say nothing in response, concentrating his efforts, instead, on holding his temper in check.

  Heartened, Miss Bingley sniffed disdainfully. “I, for one, cannot see that it could possibly be anything of a serious nature. Elizabeth has always been of a healthy, robust constitution, not at all out of the common way for others in her station, mind you. Certainly, these country people have been bred to withstand such trifles as colds and indisposition. Of course, I would not be surprised in the least to hear she is not ill at all, but merely acting the part, no doubt to further ingratiate herself with my generous brother. Poor, naïve Charles! As if being taken in by the likes of Jane Bennet has not been punishment enough for all of us.”

  Though Darcy was obviously seething with anger by this time, Miss Bingley somehow managed to misinterpret his dangerous look, going so far as to lay her hand upon his arm in a rather forward manner as she cooed, “Mr. Darcy, allow me to give you some friendly, heartfelt advice, for it has been my experience, sir, that a wealthy gentleman such as yourself, who is sought after by every manner of society, can never be too careful when thrown into company with such scheming, mercenary people as one is sure to find in this part of the country.”

  Darcy fixed her with an icy look and said coldly, “No more so than one often finds in Town, as well, I daresay. Would you not agree?”

  Miss Bingley felt the slight but was too stunned to credit it. Her smile faltered, however, and Darcy continued in the same vein. “Though I cannot pretend to be so presumptuous as to speak for your brother, Miss Bingley, in the future I would thank you not to speak ill of Miss Elizabeth Bennet or her family in my presence. I find it to be most offensive and ill-bred, and as I have just become engaged to be married to Miss Elizabeth, I am sure you can understand how I could very easily come to interpret such ill-mannered criticism of my future wife as a personal slight to me, as well.”

  Miss Bingley could only gape at him in outraged astonishment, to say nothing of her undisguised horror. With a small but satisfied smirk, Darcy firmly muttered, “Good day, Miss Bingley,” and removed himself from her company, leaving his friend’s sister quite alone to contemplate those of her actions that had succee
ded in causing trouble and misery for no one but her.

  * * *

  On their second night together, though in a different room, as Bingley was certainly not of a mind to allow his friend the luxury of having his bedchamber adjoin with that of his betrothed for a second night, and well past the hour when the other occupants of the house had retired for the evening, Darcy lay in Elizabeth’s bed. His body curled around hers from behind as he stroked the soft skin of her arm with his fingertips, their clothing long since discarded upon the carpet in front of the fire.

  “I have been thinking, my love…” he began tentatively.

  “Of what, my dearest?”

  “Of what will happen when I remove to Town to obtain the license. I will have to be gone for several days at least, as I also have some business I should probably attend to with my steward once I am there, and then there is Georgiana. I really ought to spend some time with my sister.”

  Elizabeth rolled away from him and propped herself up on one elbow so she could search his troubled eyes. “What exactly are you trying to tell me, Fitzwilliam?” she asked, her concern evident in her voice.

  “Come with me, Elizabeth. We can be married in London almost immediately, and then we shall not have to part again. You will be my wife; nothing will bring me more joy than to have you with me every day for the rest of my life.”

  Elizabeth could not immediately answer him. After a few moments of silent contemplation, she entwined her fingers in his and said, “Just like that, Fitzwilliam? Abandon everything and everyone whom I have ever known and loved without a care in the world as to what the consequences will surely cost us or our relations? Do you not think, my love, that we have already acted rashly enough without further adding to our current plight?”

  Darcy lowered his eyes and looked away. “No. Of course not. You are correct. It was selfish of me to even suggest such a thing. But is there no other way, Elizabeth? I dread parting from you, especially if you should happen to become with child from our nights together. What if something unforeseen should happen to you because of it? What if you need me and I am unable to reach you due to the weather or some other unforeseen circumstance? I could not bear it. No, I wish for you to be with me. It is the only way I shall feel completely at ease.”