Darcy drew close to her once more and murmured in her ear, “You are so beautiful tonight, my love. I hardly know how I have managed to keep my hands from you this evening. You have been driving me to distraction ever since I first saw you in the drawing room.” The soft timbre of his voice sent shivers down her spine.
“I believe we are currently in the middle of a theatre, Mr. Darcy,” she said with only a shadow of her usual archness. “From what I knew of you in Hertfordshire, sir, I would have expected the master of Pemberley to be well practiced in the art of self-control by now.”
Darcy laughed, his breath stirring the curls upon the nape of her neck, and said, “I believe that was only when you first knew me, Miss Bennet, for it has been many, many weeks now since you have managed to drive away all remaining fragments of that self-control I had once so prided myself upon.” He then gently directed her gaze to where their images were reflected in the panes of a large window. “Look at you, Elizabeth. Have you ever seen any woman looking as beautiful as you are this evening? My God, but I have missed having you in my bed.”
He had placed his hands upon her waist and was leaning forward to allow his lips the pleasure of kissing her neck when she withdrew from him again, her face flushed scarlet. She hurriedly walked toward the window and put distance between them. “Fitzwilliam,” she implored, “please, I beg you would not. Not here.”
He only continued to look at her with that same fire in his eyes. It was as though he had not heard one word she had said to him, and it angered her enough to say, in a low voice, “I remember a time, sir, when you almost murdered a man who had dared to speak disrespectfully of me. I would dearly wish to know what has changed so much since that day to have made it acceptable for you to behave thus with me in the middle of a public theatre? Have your aunt’s words already faded from your memory? Have the remnants of my reputation come to mean so little that you would risk causing a scandal here?” She gestured to their surroundings. Darcy instantly paled.
His shock, however, very soon gave way to growing indignation. Wrapping his hand around her upper arm, he escorted her from the building and out into the street, where he ordered their carriage. They stood without speaking until it came. No sooner had they seated themselves inside and closed the door than Darcy drew the shades and spoke, his voice shaking. “You dare to compare my conduct with the disgusting behavior of that… that despicable blackguard?”
Elizabeth visibly swallowed and turned aside her head. He leaned forward and grasped her chin in a somewhat rougher fashion than he had intended, and directed her face toward his. Elizabeth flinched, and after several seconds, Darcy released her. He slumped back against the interior of the coach to run the back of his hand across his pursed lips. “Is that truly what you think of me tonight, Elizabeth? That I have so little respect for you that I would act upon the same self-serving, loathsome impulses George Wickham possesses?”
“No,” she said with no little vehemence, “of course, you are nothing like him. You could never be like him.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek then, soon to be followed by another. She wiped them away. “Forgive me. I should never have spoken so. You are the last person who deserves such an unfeeling and unjust reproach for what I, of all people, should well know to have been simply a passionate response to the love you have for me. I do not know what is wrong with me tonight. Perhaps I am only too aware that we have not had a moment to ourselves in several days, but that can hardly compare with the fact that I am… not proud of our conduct this evening, and I am afraid my disapproval must also extend to several other, rather specific, unguarded moments we have spent in each other’s company while we have been in London, as well.”
She laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. “To this day, Fitzwilliam, I have no idea what Mr. Wickham said to you to make you lose control like that. Perhaps it is best that I never know, but after what has transpired this afternoon, I can imagine only too well what it probably was, and it is, perhaps that, more than anything else, which has me feeling so very much unlike myself tonight.”
Darcy stared at her with growing concern. “What do you mean ‘after what has transpired this afternoon,’ Elizabeth?” When she did not immediately answer him, he reached across the coach and placed his hand upon her knee. “Elizabeth, did something happen this afternoon that I should know about?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath and nodded. “Georgiana has revealed to me that she is aware that you and I have anticipated our wedding vows. It was not my intention to confirm or deny it, but the mention of such a subject quickly led to other questions she has had regarding trust and broken promises. She also shared something with me that was both very personal and extremely difficult for her. To be honest, I was stunned.”
Darcy could hardly believe his sister would have mentioned such a thing to anyone—even to Elizabeth—but he had to know for certain what he thought and what she had actually heard were, indeed, the same thing. “Did she tell you about Wi… about Ramsgate?” he asked.
Elizabeth nodded. “She told me everything. I am certain you, more than anyone, are well aware that Wickham’s treachery has greatly affected her self-confidence and her trust of others—of gentlemen in particular. A great deal of her distress this week has been owing to her belief that you, the one person she had felt she could trust implicitly not to behave in a similar manner had, in all actuality, seduced me, thus jeopardizing my reputation and causing all of our recent difficulties with Lady Catherine. I, of course, informed her that is far from the truth. I do believe I finally managed to convince her of it by the time we parted to dress for the theatre, but it does not lessen the guilt and mortification I must bear for our thoughtlessness and our total want of propriety while in company with others—your sister, especially. You must admit, Fitzwilliam, we have been far from discreet about hiding our gestures of intimacy toward each other since I have arrived in London. Even in Hertfordshire, there were times when we were less than careful.”
Darcy only looked at her, unable to say anything, his distress written on his face. “I am worried your sister is not the only one who knows for certain of our indiscretions,” Elizabeth admitted. “I am terrified to think of what my family would say if they were to find out, and I am very much afraid of the whole of London hearing that Mr. Darcy of Pemberley, who could have married any woman in the first circles of society, has chosen to marry, instead, a fortuneless country upstart whom he has taken as his… as his mistress.” She whispered the last word, tears welling up in her eyes.
Darcy scoffed. “That is absurd, Elizabeth.”
“Is it?” she asked. “Lady Catherine said very much the same thing to you, did she not?”
His face paled. “Is this what you have been thinking all evening? Every time I touched you, was I making you feel as though you are my mistress?” She said nothing, only averted her eyes. Darcy crossed over to the other side of the carriage to sit beside her and cradled her face in his hands. Elizabeth swallowed. Yet another breach of propriety.
“Elizabeth, please,” he pleaded. “Have I truly made you feel this way tonight?”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. At least not at first. It was not until we were in the lobby that I had begun to feel… oh, what is the point?” she asked tiredly. “The damage has already been done, has it not?”
Darcy’s voice was soft and regretful. “It was never my intention to draw attention to us or to cause a scandal; you know it was not. I have missed you, Elizabeth. The last four days have been more than difficult for me. Even though we have shared the same house and have seen each other daily, I have not had a moment alone with you, and it has been driving me mad. I have been praying for an opportunity to express my love and devotion to you beyond mere looks of longing from across the room or a chaste kiss upon your hand. Perhaps my box was not the best venue for such a show of affection, but I believed you would have felt much the same after being unable to have so much as a moment to ourselve
s.”
“Fitzwilliam,” she said gently, “by no means do I object to you expressing your love for me. It has always been something I have welcomed and cherished, but I must now ask that we at least try to refrain from being so unguarded with our affections when we are not in the privacy of our own home and within the sanctuary of our own family party. We have only to wait two days, and we shall be husband and wife. I realize it has been difficult; it has been so for me, as well, but please, we must at least consider Georgiana and her feelings, not merely our own.”
Darcy colored. “I suppose I had hoped any speculation about us would simply disappear upon the arrival of our wedding day. I have been completely irresponsible in more ways than just one.” He raised her hand to his lips and bestowed a lingering kiss upon it as he caressed a curl at the nape of her neck. “I will endeavor to control myself when I am in your presence, my love. My uncle”—and here, he had the decency to blush—“has also alluded to our familiarity on occasion but has pledged his support and that of my aunt no matter what occurs. I confess his reassurance in this quarter may have lulled me into a false sense of security. The earl is a very powerful man, and he is truly taken with you, you know.”
Elizabeth flushed, as well, and raised her hand to his cheek. A slow smile warmed Darcy’s features. “Do you have any idea how exquisite you look this evening?” he murmured as his lips caressed her palm.
Elizabeth leaned toward him and placed a kiss upon his lips. “Indeed,” she whispered, “I would not know, Fitzwilliam, for I have been far too preoccupied with the handsome gentleman before me to notice.”
Chapter 19
Darcy raised the shades and resumed his proper place on the other side of the carriage just before the play ended and the patrons began to file out of the theatre and into the street. Rather than leaving Bingley, Jane, Georgiana, and Colonel Fitzwilliam to wander about in search of Elizabeth and him, Darcy waded into the fray to find them. After being accosted by numerous acquaintances inquiring about the identity of his beautiful companion and wondering where she had disappeared to, he finally returned to the coach with the rest of their party. While Bingley ordered his own carriage and assisted the ladies, Colonel Fitzwilliam took his cousin aside. “Is all well, Darcy?” he asked with a furrowed brow.
“Yes, Fitzwilliam, perfectly well. Elizabeth only required a bit of fresh air.”
The Colonel then raised his brow, and Darcy sighed. “Very well. I fear I have kept my word very poorly this evening, and believe me, Elizabeth has already had much to say on the subject. Fear not. I believe I have finally learned my lesson and will attempt to behave myself until Saturday. After that, I cannot be held accountable for my behavior, and you will just have to accustom yourself to my having an extremely pretty wife whose fine eyes may tempt me to act as I would not otherwise in polite company. But, as I promised Elizabeth, I shall endeavor to show my affection for her only when we are within our own family circle, and not until after our wedding. Will that do, Fitzwilliam?”
The Colonel laughed and slapped him on the back. “Well enough, Darcy, well enough. I suppose I shall just have to overlook your offenses, so long as you promise not to hide yourself and your lovely wife away from the rest of us.”
Darcy gave his cousin a wide smile as they made to climb into his carriage. “Follow Mr. Bingley’s carriage to Grosvenor Street, Foster.” With a sharp rap upon the roof of the carriage, they were off.
* * *
The two carriages pulled up in front of Mr. Hurst’s house on Grosvenor Street, and the ladies within were immediately handed down to the safekeeping of the gentlemen. They all made their way into the house with very little ceremony and were shown into the drawing room, where they were received by the Hursts and Miss Bingley, who, much to that particular lady’s vexation, were unable to join them at the theatre due to a prior engagement.
After about ten minutes of perfunctory conversation, Mr. Hurst stood and addressed his wife. “I say, Louisa, those blasted Saundersons hardly fed us properly when we dined with them this afternoon, and I have been starving now for a good five or six hours since. I say we dispense with this chatter and eat. What say you, Bingley?”
Bingley, as could be expected, remained speechless, but Mrs. Hurst rolled her eyes and steered her husband and his empty wine glass in the direction of the dining room. Bingley escorted Jane, and Darcy was about to offer Elizabeth his arm when he found it suddenly seized by Caroline Bingley instead. She immediately engaged him in meaningless banter as she dragged him with some effort toward the dining room, leaving Elizabeth staring after them. Every attempt Darcy made to return to her was met with fierce resistance by Miss Bingley, and so he could only look back at his betrothed. While she followed on Colonel Fitzwilliam’s arm with Georgiana, she smiled, and her brow arched.
Dinner was the usual affair—usual meaning Elizabeth found herself placed as far from Darcy as she had become accustomed to during her visits at Netherfield.
Darcy, as ever, found very little pleasure in the seating arrangements. Elizabeth made a valiant effort to lighten his dark mood by casting playful looks in his direction from the opposite end of the table. Being seated next to Caroline Bingley was hardly to Darcy’s liking, particularly after the serious tone of the earlier discussion he and Elizabeth had in the coach outside of the theatre. Though it now appeared she had discovered an ample diversion in their current circumstances, he still had no idea what she was truly thinking at the moment, and it bothered him.
When the gentlemen separated from the ladies after supper, Darcy, for the first time in a long while, found himself hesitating. He had no wish to separate himself any longer from Elizabeth, and from what he could see from her frequent glances, neither did she wish it. There was, however, very little he could do about it, and when Colonel Fitzwilliam clasped him firmly on the shoulder on his way to the study, he reluctantly followed, determined to return in a timely fashion to Elizabeth’s side, whether his host was willing or not.
The ladies soon settled themselves in the drawing room. Mrs. Hurst sat by complacently while Miss Bingley made a show of fawning over Georgiana. Jane and Elizabeth were simply ignored and left to their own devices. Elizabeth, who had grown quite used to their rude behavior in Hertfordshire, found this all rather amusing, but Georgiana found much to distress her and tried her best to include her future sisters in her conversation with Bingley’s sisters. Finally, after Miss Darcy had cast many uncomfortable glances at Elizabeth and Jane, Mrs. Hurst said to Elizabeth, “Miss Bennet, I do believe we are very soon to be wishing you joy. When will the happy event take place, do you think?”
Resisting the urge to glance at Miss Bingley, Elizabeth replied, “I am to marry Mr. Darcy on Saturday.” The slightest smile of satisfaction curved her lips as she heard Miss Bingley choke on her meringue, the remnants of which landed on the finely woven carpet at her sister’s feet.
Mrs. Hurst leaned over to pat her sister on the back and continued as though nothing untoward had occurred. “Oh, so soon? Will you be staying in Town after the ceremony or removing immediately to Pemberley?”
“I believe Mr. Darcy plans on remaining in London for some time.”
Caroline Bingley had, by this time, recovered sufficiently to add, “What a treat for you, Miss Eliza. I am certain all of Mr. Darcy’s fashionable friends will be thrilled to make your acquaintance this Season. What a shame no one from his family will likely be in attendance at your wedding.” She leaned forward and continued in a confidential tone, “Now do not worry yourself, Eliza. I am certain their absence can only mean they have yet to learn of Mr. Darcy’s understanding with you. It cannot possibly be because his closest relations disapprove of you as his choice. Perhaps he has not yet seen fit to inform them of his intentions and simply plans to present your marriage as a sort of fait accompli, so to speak. That way you may be spared the embarrassment of having someone as illustrious and powerful as the esteemed Lord Matlock objecting outright to your alliance.”
Jane and Georgiana wore identical expressions of incredulity. Elizabeth, however, smiled sweetly as she said, “Actually, Miss Bingley, Lord and Lady Matlock have assured me they will both be in attendance with the rest of their family. They and Colonel Fitzwilliam have been very warm and attentive ever since we had the honor of being introduced.”
Miss Bingley refused to allow this information to deter her and so tried her hand again. “I suppose you shall be married from your uncle’s house in Cheapside, Miss Eliza? I daresay Lord and Lady Matlock will find it charming, attending the wedding breakfast within full view of your uncle’s warehouses.” She and Mrs. Hurst could hardly keep themselves in check and, so, burst into fits of laughter.
Jane, who had not thought her two future sisters-in-law quite so bad as this, gasped. Before Elizabeth could form her biting reply, however, Georgiana had placed her hand upon her arm and forced herself to say, “Of course, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner will be at the wedding, but Elizabeth and my brother shall be married from our house in Grosvenor Square. Our patronage in the church is very important to my brother, and since Darcy House will soon be Elizabeth’s home, as well, she has graciously agreed to indulge us. As far as my uncle and aunt are concerned, they are both quite taken with Elizabeth. I do believe my uncle already considers her to be a favorite. They plan to hold a ball in honor of Elizabeth, and as my brother detests large gatherings, you can imagine he shall insist the guest list be kept to a rather smaller number of his closest friends and intimate acquaintances.” She said this last part with a pointed look at Miss Bingley, who suddenly recalled something very pressing that required her immediate attention on the other side of the room.
Truth about Mr. Darcy Page 20