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Neel asks himself: what do I deserve? He has to make a choice again, like that rainy night when Titiksha jumped off the terrace. Is he ready to live with whatever Titiksha told him? Will he be able to look at himself in the mirror knowing what he did that rainy night? Backed off from the promise he made to the one he loved with his heart and soul. If fear made him a coward once, can love make him atone for the cowardice now? For how long will he let his fear control him? It has already pushed him to make a miserable choice in life once before. Is he brave enough to punish himself tonight for the love he once had for Titiksha, but didn’t let it attain fruition?
Neel gets up. In a trance-like state, he walks to the cemented barricade, gets on top it, and takes a deep breath.
This time he jumps off.
SHARADA HEIGHTS APARTMENT CAMPUS
Minutes later
There’s a lot of light. And there are lots of people around— all of them strangers. Is this how souls are welcomed in hell? Neel wonders looking at them. His leg hurt a bit.
Looking down he realizes he did jump, but he hasn’t touched ground yet. Neel is astonished to see a huge air mattress below him which has saved him from landing straight on the ground. Did they know I was about to jump?
Titiksha appears amid the crowd.
‘This was the only thing that was left for me to see, my only consolation,’ she says. ‘Whether you still gave your cowardice an edge over love or whether, after knowing everything, you choose to dare life for love. I was waiting with bated breath, hoping you make the jump. It only means you finally respected my love for you, even if it took time. Thanks for not disappointing me this time, Neel.’
Neel is too blank to talk.
‘Take my hand. It’s time to treat you to normalcy.’ Titiksha says.
He takes her hand and gets up. The hired men who have gathered around him help him step out of the air-mattress. ‘I’m sorry Titiksha for that night and for everything that followed. I know a mere sorry won’t take away what those 15 years gave you, but I don’t know what else to say,’ he says. Titiksha looks at him with longing.
‘Don’t say sorry, Neel. Say you love me. Please say you love me. It’s more powerful than any apology. It’s more healing than any medicine. It’s more forgiving than any life. And it’s much better a solution than any death.’
‘I love you Titiksha,’ Neel says and hugs her tightly. ‘I really do.’ Neel’s voice seems choked. Titiksha hugs him back with equal fervour. Her within feels rinsed.
‘There are two kinds of love: one that exists because it has never been tested and one that lives on because it has passed all its tests,’ Titiksha whispers in his ear.
Acknowledgements
Much love, humble thanks, and gratitude to my parents for inspiring me and shaping my outlook towards life and for giving me enough reasons, through your actions, on why simplicity and humaneness still counts.
Gratitude to the Chowdhury family, the Rastogi family, and the Pimple family for their love, care, and blessings.
To Arindam Dey, Reetika Mishra, Rachit Varma, Pravesh Agarwal, and Rahul Saini—thank you buddies for all the emotional support, meaningful suggestions, and honest feedback I ever needed.
To Mr Prakash Mishra—it has been a privilege to be associated with you. Looking forward to learning a lot more from you. Thanks!
Extended thanks to Naman Kapur for unconditionally appreciating my work for such a long time now. I hope you like this one too.
Special thanks to Anuradha Chakraborty for setting up this story. You know what I mean.
To Kaushani Ganguly—thanks for all your amazing questions. And for helping me get an insight into today’s school kids.
Anushikha Pathak—for being my youngest friend and helping me understand the psyche of today’s teenagers.
Thanks to my editor, Gurveen Chadha, for sprinkling just the right spices to make this story even tastier.
Thank you Milee Ashwarya and the entire team at Random House India who are instrumental at turning this book into reality.
To my readers—love and thanks to each one of you who have reached out to me in the virtual world after reading my books and also those whom I don’t know yet but I’m sure have kept me in their silent prayers. This story, the ones before, and hopefully the ones coming up are a result of those prayers.
Lastly…
To R—you are that sun, I know, which is and which will be there, even if every other light source fails me. For you— anytime, all the time.
A Note on the Author
N ovoneel Chakraborty’s books have touched thousands of souls across India. He is a full-time author, screenwriter, and a blogger.
He lives in Mumbai.
You can visit his blog, Novosphere, for one-paragraph stories on life and inspiration at www.nbconline.blogspot.com
You can mail him at novosphere@gmail.com or Facebook him at www.facebook.com/officialnbc