by Zoe Lynne
THE anxiety and freak-out vibe coming off Cassidy was enough to knock Brynn off her feet, and the only thing Brynn could think of to make her “chill”—like Cassidy kept asking her to do—was plant her lips over Cassidy’s. It was a bold move, one Brynn didn’t really see herself ever being able to take, but there they were, kissing… again.
There was something very different about the kiss this time. It felt easier, more natural. It felt like the right thing to do. Maybe because Brynn had finally admitted to herself that she craved Cassidy in a way she’d never craved anyone else before. Maybe Brynn was starting to come to terms with how she felt and what she liked. She wasn’t sure, but she did know that her lips belonged to Cassidy. Explicitly.
She lifted away from Cassidy’s lips and gave her a hooded smile. “I, um… sorry,” she said breathlessly.
When Cassidy’s lids opened again, her smile reflected in the crinkles at the edges of her eyes, making her gaze sparkle. “Sorry? Don’t be sorry. I like the way you shut me up.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, you were worrying and freaking out and—”
Cassidy pressed her palm to Brynn’s mouth and gave her that beautiful pink smile Brynn had become a complete sucker for. Brynn had the urge to kiss those delicious lips again, but Nana calling “The cookies are hot—come and get ’em” from the bottom of the stairs stopped her.
Chapter 23
BETWEEN the four women, the dozen and a half cookies were gone without so much as a crumb left behind. When the festivities were over and Nana said she was done for the night, Cassidy’s mother decided to dismiss herself too. She said she wanted to get a little reading done before bed. As far as Brynn was concerned, the fewer people nosing around the house the better. Maybe she could convince Cassidy to show her more magic. Then maybe they could kiss again, or even better, they could snuggle in the bed.
The idea of being that close to Cassidy made Brynn feel all warm inside. And ironically, none of those feelings really scared Brynn anymore, well, not as much as they had before.
Well, the feelings didn’t scare her, but the possible repercussions of being true to herself sure did. Every time she thought about her parents catching her or someone at school finding out she had a thing for Cassidy Rivers, her stomach knotted to the point of being painful.
They returned to Cassidy’s room, and Brynn flopped down across Cassidy’s bed. Her body felt twenty pounds heavier than it had been before she’d eaten all those cookies. She laid her hand across her bloated belly and said, “Those were delicious and all, but oh my God, I’m miserable.”
“I’m used to cookies for dinner. It happens at least once whenever Nana comes to town for a visit. My mom’s liberal that way,” Cassidy said casually as she sank down beside Brynn, sprawling out across her queen-size bed.
“Lucky. We’re a ‘better eat all your veggies’ household. I didn’t even know the glory of chocolate until I was in junior high school.”
Cassidy’s cobalt eyes widened. “What? How’s that even humanly possible? What about Halloween candy? Did you get to eat that?” Cassidy looked like she was trying to understand quantum physics.
“We never celebrated Halloween. Daddy didn’t let us. When we were kids, we did things at the church. I stopped going when I grew out of it. My little sister does from time to time, though.”
“Lovely. Your parents are hardcore religious and conservative and your girlfriend’s a lesbian witch. You’re gonna have fun explaining that one.”
“Girlfriend?” Brynn turned her head toward Cassidy. Was it official? Were they…? “Am I your girlfriend?”
“Um, I meant….” Cassidy looked away suddenly, but Brynn caught a glimpse of the crimson flooding her cheeks. “I… er… we… um… I guess? I mean, are you?”
Brynn smiled and moved closer to Cassidy. She felt so completely silly for doing it, but she reached down and ran her fingers over Cassidy’s knuckles. “I think I would like to be,” she whispered. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Uh, yeaaaaah. It’s… I…. Yeah. I want that….”
“Then I guess I’m your girlfriend now.” A teasing smile curled one corner of Brynn’s lips. “Does that mean you’ll show me more magic?”
At the mention of more magic, Cassidy looked like she could have, for a moment, been knocked off the edge of the bed. “More magic? You really wanna see more stuff?” The hope and happiness in her voice couldn’t be measured or put into words.
“Yeah, I do. It’s kinda cool, ya know?”
“It kinda is, yeah. Um… okay.” Cassidy sat up, looking around her room. She pointed to a light pink candle sitting on her desk. “Watch that candle, ’kay?”
Brynn nodded excitedly as she sat up on the bed and tucked her legs under her body, sitting lotus style like she’d learned in those stupid yoga classes her mom had dragged her to. She bit down on her bottom lip to contain the wide goofy smile on her face and set her stare on the candle like Cassidy asked.
The sound of Cassidy’s fingers snapping together almost made her look away, but before she could, the candle sparked to life. The wick lit up, blazing brightly before dimming down to a light flicker. She thought she heard Cassidy whisper something in a language she couldn’t decipher, but she was too enthralled by the flame to ask.
“Wait for it,” Cassidy said.
“There’s more?”
“Uh-huh.”
Just then, the flame’s glow began to change colors—dimming from orange to a light yellow before changing to a soft blue hue. The colors cycled through the shades of the rainbow before finally ending up a light purple.
“Oh my God! Cassidy, that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen,” Brynn declared. “What other stuff can you do? Can you fly? Oh my God, can you ride a broom?”
“Yes. I also really do have that pointy hat I told you I didn’t own, and we keep a cauldron in the yard.”
The sarcasm in Cassidy’s voice wasn’t lost on Brynn at all. “Ha ha,” she said as she gave Cassidy a playful shove. “My girlfriend’s a smartass.”
Girlfriend. It was getting so easy to call Cassidy that one little word with such huge meaning.
“Well, smartass is better than dumbass, right?”
“Touché,” Brynn said with a giggle.
They spent the rest of the night talking and laughing and stealing the occasional kiss from each other. Cassidy shared more of her magic, and Brynn anxiously watched, hanging on every moment as it passed. Brynn couldn’t get enough of everything that was Cassidy.
When the evening wound down and they were both too tired to keep their eyes open any longer, they decided to change into their pajamas, and this time, Brynn didn’t hesitate changing in front of Cassidy. And when Cassidy lifted away her top and changed into a thin, light blue camisole, Brynn couldn’t tear her eyes away. Her cheerleader had the most beautiful body, so beautiful Brynn wanted to feel Cassidy’s soft skin against the palms of her hands, but she fought her urges. She let her eyes enjoy what her hands would have to wait for.
They climbed beneath the covers of Cassidy’s queen-size bed, and though there was plenty of space for them to have their own sides, they met in the middle—bodies pressed together, arms around each other, the tips of their noses gently touching. Brynn smiled softly as she stared into Cassidy’s incredible blue eyes.
Chapter 24
SUNDAY passed by slow as molasses for Cassidy. After Nana made blueberry pancakes for breakfast and the girls had hearty stacks piled high and dripping with organic maple syrup, Brynn went home so Cassidy could focus on what her mother and grandmother wanted to teach her. Sure enough, Cassidy almost backed out of the lesson again, but Brynn convinced her to go through with it. So of course, like a lovesick puppy, she obeyed without further complaint.
The day moved along with Nana teaching Cassidy how to better channel her emotions into her powers as opposed to her emotions controlling the magic running through her. By the end of the day, Cassidy had gained
a new harness over her abilities. She practiced a little spell work too, as well as started her very own book of shadows, which Nana gave her. It was a beautiful book with a pentacle burned into the aged leather cover. Inside were thick parchment pages and a dedication from Nana scribbled on the first page that read:
For my dearest Cassidy,
May the elements of the earth combine with the power running through you to create magic the likes of which this world has never seen. You are bound for greatness. Don’t forget where you come from.
Love, Nana.
Cassidy had gone to sleep anticipating Monday, when she could tell Brynn all about the new things she’d learned. Since her mother had to take the Scion to the body shop before picking up a rental car, Brynn offered to give Cassidy a ride to school.
Now Cassidy stood in front of the mirror, looking over the outfit she’d chosen. She’d done her hair in soft waves that cascaded over a sleeveless, light yellow Michael Kors tunic. Her dark blue Citizens of Humanity skinny jeans hugged her athletic legs and ended tightly at the ankles to accent her Stella McCartney ballet flats. Admittedly, she’d been toning down her usually preppy attire since she started hanging out with Brynn, but there was only so much in her closet that didn’t scream “Cassidy Rivers, label whore.”
As she contemplated taking Brynn on a shopping spree so they could both get some new threads, a car horn beeped twice outside. Cassidy swiped her phone from the desk and grabbed her backpack before tearing down the stairs and out the front door, calling out “I’m going to school, Mom!” over her shoulder. She closed the door and bounded down the driveway to Brynn’s car, where her girlfriend sat, still a little sleepy-eyed but smiling brightly.
God, that smile is something to look forward to in the mornings.
After settling down into the passenger side, she leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Brynn’s cheek. Cassidy tossed her backpack into the backseat and buckled her seat belt, and they were on their way, weaving through the streets of Majestic Hills.
They talked about their Sunday away from each other. While they’d been texting throughout the day, Cassidy was learning magic, and Brynn attended a church picnic with her family, so there were details each girl had to share. Brynn told Cassidy of the fun she’d actually had talking to a few kids who were also in attendance with their families. She recounted every minute detail. The tasty macaroni salad she’d had two servings of. The way her little sister was reprimanded for throwing fruit punch on a boy who called her “snotface.” Brynn’s father’s inclination to embarrass her when the pastor asked if Brynn would like to attend one of the church’s free abstinence seminars for teens by replying, “She’s going to be abstinent until she marries the future president of the United States.”
Cassidy laughed the entire ride, and all too soon they were pulling into the parking lot of Majestic Hills High, faced with another long week of hiding the way they felt about each other. More days of sneaking glances and concealing moments of closeness behind the guise of schoolwork. Brynn clearly felt the same, because the minute she cut off the engine, she turned to Cassidy with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.
“If last week was tough, this week’s gonna be even harder now that we’re, um… dating.”
“Yeah, I was just thinking about that.”
“Well, maybe we could find a youth group.” Brynn unclicked her seat belt and reached back for her black backpack. “You know, just so we can be ourselves somewhere.”
“I really like that idea. I have cheer practice every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but maybe we can figure something out around that schedule.”
Brynn shot Cassidy a look she probably kept hidden away for really giddy moments. Cassidy thought those precious moments must be few and far between for an emo chick, so this little rarity was priceless to her. Brynn’s smile was radiant. It lit up her face, making her eyes sparkle behind the pink fringe of her bangs.
“I’d like that,” she said softly.
“Well, then that’s what we’ll do, Brynnie. Let’s get to class, yeah?”
Cassidy was itching to lean over and kiss those smiling lips. Since they were parked in the school lot with kids ambling past Brynn’s car, all she could do was grab her backpack and wink at Brynn before popping up from the car. She got as far as closing the door and hiking her bag up her shoulder when she heard Laura’s annoyingly grating voice from somewhere in the near distance.
“Aww, where’s your car, Cassidy?”
Brynn’s pink head shot up from the driver’s side. Beneath her bangs, Cassidy could see her wide eyes and nervous expression. Cassidy merely winked at her before turning to look at Laura, who stood by the little Honda Civic donning a smug look.
“Oh, hey, Laura,” Cassidy replied with her own smug expression. “You know, since Brynn and I are so close now… like, I’m practically her BFF, we’ve decided to start sharing rides to school. Don’t be jelly.”
Laura was good at maintaining composure, but Cassidy had it on lock. The emo wannabe’s face glowed with anger, crimson lighting up her cheeks as her hands white-knuckled the folder she was clutching to her chest. Cassidy gave her her best saccharin-induced smile and wiggled her fingers in a wave before walking around to Brynn’s side.
“Do you think that was a good idea?” Brynn asked while peering in Laura’s direction.
“Meh.” Cassidy shrugged. “I already told you I’ve got this. There’s a few things set in place for her should she decide to mess with you.”
“Yeah, but what about you? You saw what she did to your car.”
“That was cannon fodder.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Brynn said, seemingly not convinced. “The bell’s about to ring. I’ll see you later, right?”
“Yep. Mrs. Miller’s class. It’s a date—” Cassidy’s words were cut off by Laura, who all but plowed into her on her way toward the school building.
Really? Is that all she’s got?
Laura would have to try harder. Cassidy was a cheerleader, after all, and wasn’t easily knocked off her feet. Laura, on the other hand, probably wasn’t blessed with such balance. Yeah, her magic should only be used for good, but Cassidy opted to abandon that belief just once and made Laura trip over her own two feet.
It was worth whatever consequence she’d have to pay.
Laura’s notebook flew from her hands as she tumbled forward to meet the asphalt face-first, and that’s when Cassidy really struck. She walked over to where Laura was, pressed one Stella McCartney ballet flat over her hand, and grinned down at her as she said, “They say cows tip over easily. I’d watch my step if I were you.”
The laughter ringing out around them fueled Cassidy’s need to keep the battle going. Unfortunately, Laura stumbled onto her feet, swiped her notebook from the ground, and shuffled the fallen papers inside. Without a word or even a glance in Cassidy’s direction, she humbly walked away, leaving Cassidy a little disappointed they didn’t get to fight it out. Surely there’d be other chances, though. By the end of the school week, Laura would be the laughingstock of Majestic Hills High.
If only Brynn were okay with Cassidy’s plans, she’d be more comfortable with it all. Pinky still had that conscience thing going on. She never said anything, but that was just the type of person Brynn was. Caring and compassionate, especially toward people who meant something to her. Laura definitely meant something to Brynn, even if the level of that “something” had diminished with each and every bullying antic Laura pulled.
As Cassidy headed toward the building, the only issue nagging at her was who was more important to Brynn, her or Laura?
Chapter 25
THE school day passed, and Cassidy and Laura stayed on Brynn’s mind—through math and science, lunch, and PE. Brynn didn’t stop thinking about what had gone down before school. She worried Cassidy would do something truly cruel and Laura would become a laughingstock. Laura probably deserved as much, in all honesty, but Brynn didn’t want t
he girl she cared about being the one dishing out Laura’s punishment. Couldn’t they just leave that up to karma?
Brynn took her regular spot in Mrs. Miller’s class and opened the book she and Cassidy had chosen for the next part of their project. She quietly read along, minding her own business until she heard Cassidy say, “Get out of my way.”
The sound of her girlfriend’s voice made Brynn raise her head.
Cassidy was glaring at Laura, and Laura glowered right back at her. Brynn couldn’t believe Laura wasn’t backing down. Whatever happened to that whole “staying off Cassidy’s radar” thing, and why did Laura insist on causing problems now?
Oh, the answer was as clear as day when Cassidy took the spot where Laura normally sat—right beside Brynn, and Brynn couldn’t bring herself to look either girl in the eyes. Something would have to give. Laura needed to stop pushing Cassidy’s buttons, and Cassidy, well… she kinda needed to do the same. If things kept going this way, Brynn had a feeling it would turn out disastrous.
“Brynnie,” Cassidy said. Her voice immediately got Brynn’s attention, even as she heard Laura huffing angrily from somewhere behind them. “I have cheer practice after school. You don’t have to wait around for me if you have stuff to do.”
“I know,” Brynn whispered. “I don’t mind waiting for you.”
“Okies then.”
Brynn gave her a soft smile. She was about to say something else when Mrs. Miller called the class to attention. Their teacher began reading an excerpt from one of Brynn’s favorite Sylvia Plath books—The Bell Jar. In her soft, weathered voice she read, “The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.”
For reasons Brynn truly understood, that passage nailed her right in the gut. Her silence, in regards to her true being and her feelings for Cassidy, depressed her. It was her own silence, forced upon her by her fear. Didn’t they both deserve better?