by Sieni A. M.
Chapter 22
Alana retrieved the keys out of her bag, a key chain with a chipped dangling pineapple, and turned it in the truck’s door. Opening the door with a scratchy creak, she climbed into the seat, settled herself, and let a sigh go. It was a sound of loss, heartache, and emptiness. Gripping onto the key chain, its familiarity grounded her. It seemed almost comical that a cheery little pineapple provided some comfort in the face of her inner turmoil. It was a cyclone turned hurricane on an emotional scale, and she was in the rough of it—not in the eye where it was calm and peaceful. Placing her hands on either side of the wheel, she lowered her head and rested it there. Chase is gone. Chase is gone. With her. She couldn’t help it. The idea that he had left with a woman beyond goddess beauty bothered her. But more than anything she couldn’t help the feeling that she had lost him forever to a cause that was so much bigger than the both of them, bigger than she could comprehend. The knowledge that their worlds were galaxies apart set in her mind like a cold slap of reality. She knew this. Of course she did. But while her mind was ready to accept it, her heart was clearly not prepared for the emotional laceration. The fact that her thoughts had now translated into reality with his departure made it all too real and final. What did she expect? Marriage, children, and the white picket fence? Or in Samoa’s case, the scavenger dogs and noisy chickens in the front yard? Of course not. She turned on the ignition, flicked on the headlights, and exited the car park. The darkness loomed around her, and the feeling of utter loneliness wrapped around her torso. It was a thick, heavy feeling of despair, and she believed she had never felt this alone in her life before. There was no one on the road. No cars, no lights, no people. Nothing to distract her from her emotions. Everyone was comfortably asleep in their homes, dreaming, completely oblivious to what had just occurred. Oblivious to people like Chase and Eeva, to the existence of healers. Would she ever see him again? She didn’t think so. He went where his work dictated him to go. As a nurse, she understood his logic in leaving, and she only respected and admired him even more for his selflessness and dedication.
Something blowing against the windshield suddenly grabbed her attention. It was so out of place that she couldn’t help but be drawn to it. Its odd shadow against the glass was distracting and unfamiliar and immediately tweaked her curiosity. Pulling over on the side of the road, she stepped out to inspect the object, leaving the truck’s engine to run. Walking around the open car door she took a closer look and stopped. The breath she was holding left her lungs in a rush and tears immediately moistened her eyes. Recognition gripped her, and she knew it was from him. Stepping closer, she extended a shaky hand and untangled the single gardenia bloom from the windshield wiper. The simple gesture melted her heart as the significance of this perfect gift came to her. Realization dawned and the meaning was not lost on her. Recalling his words from the wedding to mind, it was the last two that held her over: Secret love.
Alana did the only thing she could think of to feel close to him again. She returned to the truck and shut the door. Rummaging through her bag, she pulled out her phone and pressed speed dial.
Ring, ring, ring
Her sister picked up on the seventh ring. “Lana?” Her groggy voice was hoarse from sleep. Shoot. She forgot it was after four in the morning. “Lana? Is that you?”
“Malia, I’m sorry to wake you…but I need to speak with Kane,” she said shakily.
She heard her sigh. “Lana, it’s four thirty in the morning. Can’t this wait until it’s a decent hour of the day?”
“This can’t wait, Lia. Please, I need to speak with him now.” She could hear her sister talking softly away from the phone before Kane’s voice came on.
“Hi, Lana. Is everything alright?” he asked seriously.
Alana wanted to cry. No, nothing was alright. Nothing would ever be alright.
“Chase… He’s gone.” She choked back on the sob that rose in her throat and proceeded to tell him everything.
Kane listened quietly as she spilled her emotions to him. When she was done, he asked calmly, “Chase told you he’s some kind of healer?”
“Yes. He healed me, and I saw him bring a patient back to life,” she replied.
“And he didn’t tell you anymore about himself?”
Alana paused and her eyebrows knitted together. “He said there was something important he needed to tell me tonight, but we got interrupted and he had to go.”
She heard him sigh. “If he was about to tell you then I won’t be the one to do it. It should come from him.”
“What is it?” she asked curiously. When he didn’t respond she pleaded, “Please, Kane. I need to know so I can understand.”
“Think about it, Alana,” he finally said. “If he was able to bring someone back to life, where would he have gone to retrieve that person from? What world exists out there for us? This is a very real and tangible place, one that is veiled and kept hidden to our eyes but not to someone like a healer.”
Alana sucked in a breath and held it. Glancing down at the flower in her hand, her brows furrowed as her fingers caressed a silky petal. Pondering Kane’s words in silence she let the air go as realization slammed into her. No. It couldn’t be. Chase couldn’t be that. It was impossible. But didn’t she think it was impossible when she found out he could heal? When she saw the glow emanating from his arms and hands? She couldn’t believe it before, but then she didn’t doubt him either. Everything he had hinted to her came hurdling towards her. The pieces fit. For all the ways that he was and everything he stood for made perfect sense. Alana raised a shaky hand to her forehead.
“Is he…” She trailed off in a voice that was just above a whisper.
“I can’t tell you, Alana. Whatever you’ve figured out, keep it to yourself until you see him again.”
How could she keep something like this to herself? It was monumental and she wanted to see Chase to talk about it. To confirm it.
Biting her lip she shook her head. “I don’t know when that will be, Kane.”
“Trust me, Lana, if he cares about you, which I know he does, he will always be there, even if you can’t see him.”
***
Chase followed Eeva to the cluster of trees shrouding the mountain that was the backdrop to the hospital. His footsteps were heavy against the stillness of the night, a physical manifestation of what was churning inside him. He felt sick for leaving her alone in that dim parking lot with her pain and confusion. It took every ounce in him to move forward and not go back to reassure her, claim her, and love her. He cursed himself for thinking he could just be a friend. It was never supposed to go as far as it did. At first, when he returned and saw how tortured her aura had become, he wanted to remedy it. He couldn’t help it. It was one of those innate senses in him as a healer. But Chase the man wanted more. The more he spent time with her, the more he wanted her. He couldn’t detach himself. It was a clear sign when the piercing scream from that woman occurred at that moment, ripping him away from her warm arms. It was what he needed to remind him of his place, his role. He shook his head at how tangled and enmeshed it had all become. He didn’t want to string her along, but that was exactly how it had become, and now he was doing exactly what he feared he would do. Hurt her.
Sweet Alana. The understanding in her eyes resonating in her aura was enough to break him. As much as it pained her, she comprehended his position. His situation.
“You were going to tell her,” Eeva said, her tone laced with judgment, snapping him back to the present.
Chase stopped walking. “Don’t,” he responded firmly, his voice dripping with finality.
“You’re falling,” she whispered, incredulity filling her voice. She approached him. “I saw her aura, Chase. I saw what you mean to her. Even if I can’t see yours, it’s not difficult to decipher the look you gave her. It’s the same one you gave me years ago.”
Chase closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, his nostrils flaring. “Eeva—”
&n
bsp; She placed a hand on his chest where his beating heart laid. Extending her curved neck and reaching up on her toes, she kissed him tenderly on the cheek.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly near his ear. Chase recoiled back and regarded her intensely.
Sorry. Pathetic little word. There had been too many of those said tonight. Was she sorry about what happened between them? Or sorry for the hurt he caused Alana?
“You did the right thing,” she continued. “Don’t risk your position with the Council because of her. You’re almost there. Her soul is on a different path, as is yours.”
Chase turned away with his back to her. He couldn’t bear to hear anymore. “Let’s go. They’re waiting,” he said over his shoulder.
Silence descended.
A blatant crunching and popping sound suddenly ripped through the tranquil night. Chase stilled, his head held high, fists poised in a hardened stance as the transformation took place. Slowly, very slowly, dark grey wings were powerfully released and extended from his muscular back, their serrated edges broadening majestically until they were at full flight. He immediately calmed and felt at home. He felt unrestrained and liberated—the only comfort felt since he left that parking lot. Turning his profile to her, he saw Eeva’s angelic ivory wings poised at full mast, her face serene. He nodded once, and without a word, they took off into the night sky, soaring at lightning speeds to their next mission.
Chapter 23
Alana took it out on the sugar cane growing in the back yard. Tangled in wild bushes, she had to cut her way to get to them. Gripping tightly onto the machete, she brought it down forcefully. Whack! Whack! The cane splintered and bowed down to her. She continued to hit it until it broke off completely. Therapeutic, she mused. It felt good to channel whatever she was feeling into something physical. Moving onto the next cane, she hit it several times before it too fell. The questions came tumbling down along with them. How did she not figure this out before? How did she not know that there would be more to Chase? Would she ever see him again? Have the chance to talk about it? Despite what Kane said, she didn’t think so. While her mind rationalized with the realization that he was far more than just a healer, she definitely felt a world apart from him now. In her mind, she expected his life’s mission would always take him away, but she was hurt and confused, and that hurt and confusion clouded what sense of strength, fortitude, and stability she held onto to get past the pain. What emotional comfort Kane offered on the phone was enough to allay her aching heart at the time being. She needed to talk to him—the one person who knew Chase, the one person who guarded his secrets, like her. He didn’t sound at all surprised that she was calling to speak about him; Chase had obviously spoken about her. But when she awoke at noon, it had all come crashing down again. He was really gone and the ache intensified into a physical pain in her chest.
Alana kept up the momentum, throwing the sugar cane down on the ground until there was a generous pile heaped on an old rice sack.
“Think we’re going on a special episode of Survivor?” Manu’s voice broke through her concentration, and she halted the machete mid-air. Standing under the shadow of banana leaves, his brows were raised and he nodded towards the pile. “Unless you think we’re going to be abandoned and left starving out on Namua.”
Alana lowered the bush knife and wiped her brow on the sleeve of her shirt. “Help me carry them in?” she asked.
Manu bent down and lifted the bundle effortlessly into his arms and above his shoulder. “The truck is loaded. We’re good to go,” he said.
“Thanks,” she replied as he turned to exit the bushes with her in tow.
Sera perched expectantly in the front seat of Manu’s truck. With a wide brim hat plopped on the top of her head, she was dressed fashionably in a strapless top which showed off her pronounced collarbones.
“Let’s get this show on the road, people!” she exclaimed excitedly, drumming her hands on the dash board.
Alana climbed into the backseat of the double cab and got comfortable. She hadn’t had a decent night’s rest in over twenty four hours but felt like it had been forty eight.
Manu sat into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. “At this rate, we should get there before sunset.”
Alana looked forward to the hour drive to the south of the island. She looked forward to spending time in her happy place. She needed to get away from everything, and Namua was the perfect remedy for that. Bunching a towel into a pillow, she rested her head against it on the window. Closing her eyes, she was in deep sleep before they reached the main road.
***
“Wakey, wakey, sunshine.” Manu shook her arm and she groaned. “We’re here.”
Momentarily disoriented, Alana lifted her head and noticed the familiar house, the little dock built from scraps of plank wood, the dingy boat that would take them across the water, and beyond that the island of Namua. Paradise. She gazed reflectively and stretched.
“I can’t believe I slept the whole way over. Felt like five minutes.”
Manu grinned. “That’s okay. I just wiped the drool off your face, snapped a pic, and posted it on Facebook.” Alana shot him a look before the corners of her mouth lifted. “And she’s alive!” He announced with a laugh. “Come on. Sera’s fidgety little butt is already sitting in the boat.”
“Don’t let her hear you say that—the little butt part, that is. You know how she wants a Nicki Minaj.”
Manu scoffed and grabbed her bag.
***
Alana took a deep breath and with it sucked in the seaweed, salty breeze, and afternoon sun. Dipping her fingers in the warm water, the boat cruised along noisily, skimming the deep blue. On days when the tide was out, one could waddle their way across to the small island, but not today. Today, Alana spotted a turtle swimming beneath the water, its slow movements lazy and unhurried. The late day sun beat down against her face and arms, the thin straps of her top offering little protection against its rays. She sat next to Sera who gripped onto to her back pack while Manu sat behind them chatting to the young man maneuvering the boat’s diesel engine. They joked and laughed the entire ten minute ride.
“Are there any other guests staying here?” Alana turned and asked the boat man in Samoan.
“No. You’re the only ones tonight.”
Alana smiled. Good. Besides the family who took care of the place, they would have the entire island to themselves.
They pulled up to the beach and the man cut the engine. Quiet. Calm. The waves rocked the boat peacefully, its bottom scraping along the sand. Manu jumped out and landed in the ankle deep water.
“Pass me your bags,” he said and the girls complied. He strode up the beach with the back packs in hand and dumped them under a low lying coconut tree before returning. Alana launched herself over the edge and landed in the water just as Manu reached his hand to help Sera. Alana grabbed the last remaining bag with the sugar cane and snacks.
“Let me take that,” Manu offered.
A cluster of beach fale sprawled ahead: wooden posts, no walls, and simple thatching for the roof. Alana noticed thin foam mattresses, pillows, and mosquito nets were already prepared in two of them. Beyond that stood a larger fale used for communal meals, the concrete block which served as the toilet and showers, and the simple home that belonged to the family who took care of the guests. A lush mountainous range towered behind them casting them in shadow. A beaten track snaked its way up the hill to what promised to be a spectacular view, and Alana looked forward to exploring it later.
“You girls take this fale, I’ll take the other one,” Manu directed, striding off to dump his things in his hut.
Alana and Sera climbed in and rested on the mattresses. They admired the view of the beach, ocean, and beyond that, the island of Upolu where they came from. The late afternoon sun cast bright rays on the coconut trees lined in the front of them, the water a mirror of glittery crystal. Soon, the island would be veiled in darkness, the only source of light c
oming from lanterns.
“Let’s go swimming,” she said to Sera.
***
The water was warm on her legs. Save for the cool breeze that raised goose bumps on her upper arms, it was pleasant and calm, the waves placid. Alana lay on her stomach, the sand scratching her elbows and knees. Manu was in his fale taking a nap while Sera stretched out beside her, facing the sky, head tilted back, eyes closed. Besides the waves crashing gently on the shore, it was quiet and serene.
“I took your advice,” Alana started. “About Chase.”
Sera opened her eyes and turned her head to face her. “What do you mean?” she asked.
Alana licked her lips which tasted salty. “I made the effort to spend time with him, and we…kissed.”
Sera almost slipped and went under. “You did what?” she exclaimed. “When? Where?”
“After the volleyball game, down at the river,” she answered.
Sera eyed her incredulously. “And? How was it?” she asked breathlessly.
Alana gave her a small, knowing smile. “It was magical. He kissed with such reverence unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.”
Sera squealed a girly squeal. “So? Why didn’t you invite him to come with us?” Alana tried to mask the pain on her face but her friend picked up on it right away. “Hey, he didn’t hurt you, did he?”
Alana suppressed a humorless laugh. “Not in the way you think… It’s more complicated than that. He had to leave Samoa and travel for work. He can’t stay in one place for too long so we both decided that it would be best if we just said goodbye.” A deep ache settled in her chest, and she tried to push it away.
Sera nodded in comprehension. “Ah, one of those. Workaholic non-commitment types. What does he do again?”
Alana bit her lip to prevent from telling her that he is none of those things—the typical man label. She wanted to correct her that Chase was not what she thought he was and that he was in fact the most selfless and beautiful person she knew. But how did she explain the type of work he was involved in? She decided to go with the next best thing.