Free Falling

by Lisa Gerkey

  When Josh comes back into the room, he’s dressed. I want to focus on what Grant said about a wedding, but I can’t. Not when we have more important things to worry about right now. Still, it’s good to hear someone has that much confidence in us. Let’s me know the connection between Josh and me is visible. I’m not imagining everything.

  “Any word on Jayson?” I ask Grant the question. I pray sooner rather than later, Jayson is caught. Once that’s done, I can focus on Josh and me. If we’re going to be together, I’ll have to deal with Staci…and the baby they’re going to share.

  “No. Not yet. Jon’s handling all that. He and Jensen are sticking close to the authorities right now. I’m not sure there’s a lot any of us can do besides watch over you and try to find Lindsey. If we can find a location and proof Jayson has her, of course, we can get someone in to get her out, but we know nothing at this point. We’re not even a hundred percent sure Phoenix has her.”

  “What about…using me as bait to draw Jayson out? I know a lot about him and the types of places he’s likely to hang around. I’m sure I can find him. If he has Lindsey, we’ll find out.” Grant and Josh both look at me like I’ve lost my mind.

  “No! Absolutely not! I’m not taking any chance he’ll get his hands on you.” Josh flames at my suggestion. I know he wants to protect me, but he should understand that I want Jayson caught just as much as they do. No, actually, for me to get on with my life and have any kind of happiness, I need him put away somewhere.

  “What’s your idea, Kennedy? You’re related to Jaycee, so I know you won’t quit until someone listens. Tell us what you think we should do.” I expect to see Josh deck Grant at any moment.

  “I’m a loose end he needs to tie up before it’s all said and done. I know the kinds of places he hangs around, the type of people he works with. I can find him.”

  “And how the hell do you think you’re going to find him? You think I’m going to just let you go to run around with a bunch of goddamn thugs and criminals?”

  I get where Josh is coming from, but as hard as it is for him, I need his trust. I haven’t done a lot to earn it yet, but if he’d show just a fraction of confidence in me, it would make me feel so much better. Getting Jayson arrested and behind bars will make things even better for me. For both of us—Josh and me.

  “Yeah, Josh. I think you should trust me to do something right. I’d like to make up for some of the shit I’ve been in the middle of for years. I don’t expect it to be easy, but maybe if we’re going to be together, I need you to let me do this…prove to me you trust me and believe in me.”

  “I spent all fucking night inside you, Kennedy. I believe. What I fucking believe is I love you, and I’m not taking a chance with your goddamn life like that! I refuse to let that motherfucker take you away from me. That’s what I believe.”

  Grant clears his throat, reminding us he’s still in the room.

  We’re all on edge right now. This thing with Phoenix is about to climax. Everything is about to be blown wide open, and then it might all end for good. I hope without losing any lives of the people we all know and love. I don’t know Lindsey, but my sister does. Josh just discovered she’s his sister, so I know he wants to get to know her. We desperately need to find her.

  I can help if they’ll just listen, and let me.“Fine. I get it. I’ll let you all handle everything.”

  “Thank you. I knew you’d see things my way. I’ll go with Grant. We’ll talk to Jon and find out what our next move needs to be.” Josh pulls me close and kisses me on the forehead.

  He thinks he won the fight.

  After Josh and Grant leave, I use my phone to locate the strip clubs around town. I expect to find only one. I’m shocked to discover there are actually three. I narrow it down to which club is in the worst part of town. Jayson wouldn’t hang out anywhere even the least bit respectable.

  Chrome Bullet looks like the best bet. How fitting since I’d love nothing more than to put a bullet through his head. I did it once already. Sometimes I have nightmares about it, but I’ll never be sorry. That’s what a man deserves when he hurts people the way David did, the way Jayson still does.

  I call a taxi to pick me up from the shopping strip right beside the hotel. I watch every direction to make sure no one sees me. The second Josh realizes I’ve taken off, he’ll come after me.

  I’m riddled with nerves when the taxi pulls into a lot behind the strip club. It’s a different club, but they’re all the same in many ways. Maybe there are some that follow laws and rules, but I’ve never been lucky enough to work in one of those.

  This would be much easier if I had a little something to take the edge off…

  I can’t go there.

  I won’t do that no matter how bad I crave it, need it. I won’t. I love Josh. I’ll do nothing to make him regret being with me.

  I pay the driver and get out of the car. The club’s closed, but there’s probably someone inside, especially if there’s crooked business going on behind the regular scenes. In the clubs where I used to work, there was someone around twenty-four seven.

  The door’s locked. I kick a loose rock on the pavement and watch it roll to the other side. Even in late spring, it’s a little chilly. I’m wearing a leather jacket, but it’s fake leather, thin, more for looks than warmth. I pull it a little tighter. I tug at my ponytail to make sure my hair stays in place.

  A vehicle pulls into the parking lot, and I watch a man around my age, early twenties, get out of the older model sports car. The way he wears his hair and the way he’s dressed, it looks like he’s from the eighties. His hair is long, and the front of his shirt drapes open, bearing his chest. His jeans have holes in them. He’s to the door before he sees me.

  “A little early aren’t you, babe? The club doesn’t open for another few hours.”

  “Um, actually…do you work here? I’m looking for a job. I’m new in town and well, where I used to work, the boss is usually around during the day…”

  He pulls a key from his pocket and unlocks the door. “Probably someone in the office. I don’t know if they’re looking for new girls right now, but…”

  Taking him by the lapel of his shirt, I look him in the eye. “Please, just let me talk to someone. I’m desperate. I really need a job.”

  Drama was one of my favorite classes in high school. I haven’t acted a lot, but it comes in handy now. I just hope I can pull this shit off. I’m worried. The real challenge will happen if someone flashes drugs in front of my face. I’m strong enough to handle it though.

  I won’t let anyone break me. I’ll just think of Josh. His face is all I need to picture in my head. I won’t risk losing him, no matter what.

  I follow the guy down a hall. He pushes a door open without knocking. I expected to see only one other person, but I’m met with three sets of eyes that look me up and down from head to toe.

  Chrome Bullet doesn’t appear the least bit classy, but the middle-aged man and the woman beside him scream something entirely different. They’re dressed to the nines; he in his three-piece suit and the woman wears an expensive cranberry colored designer dress, ebony hair hanging almost to her waist so straight and neat it doesn’t look real. She’s in her late-forties or maybe fifties, but she hides her age well— the snotty, bitchy look on her face, not so much.

  The man with them sits across the room. He’s someone else. Less important than the other two. Perhaps, a hitman or a drug dealer—like I said, I’d recognize one almost anywhere. The lanky, tattooed man reminds me of Jayson. Even more so when I hear him speak. I shudder when I listen to him. I tell myself I must stay strong. I’m here on a mission. One where I can’t let fear or an overwhelming need for drugs get in the way. I need to listen carefully. Pay attention. I need to get names I can pass along later. Mostly, I have to figure out if Jayson is connected to these people.

  “Can’t you listen one goddamn time? You had to bring your pussy with you?”

  “Chill the fuck out
. She isn’t with me. I found her in the parking lot. She’s looking for a job.”

  “Oh yeah? Let us see the goods. You think you’re worth paying for?”

  I can already tell I’ve found the right club. Maybe not the one I need, but it’s definitely the sort of playground Jayson enjoys. A legitimate strip club would schedule an audition, but this bitch wants me to strip right here. I can’t back out now. We must find Lindsey, and how to do that is to locate Jayson. This reminds me of the club in Memphis. The one where Jaycee and Grant found me. The one where Jayson bought me.

  I slide my jacket off and let it fall into the nearby chair. I know these assholes get off when they see a girl timid and scared. We’re the easiest to train and break for their sick amusement. I fix my gaze on the dirty spot, on the carpet. Anything is better than looking at them.

  “Girl’s got a nice enough rack on her. Not too big, but they look real. Show us more of those pretty tits, gorgeous.” It’s the older man, the one who probably fronts the illegal shit going on here.

  I glance up to watch him take a sip of whiskey from his glass, shiny gold rings sparkle in the light. I’ve been in the business a long time, met many rich assholes who get their rocks off hurting women, but I haven’t seen this one before, or the woman. She looks as amused as him, tapping her long crimson nails against the solid wood desk. They all stare at me impatiently.

  “Hurry up. We don’t have all day. You need the job, but we’ll survive without you. We’ve got all the girls we need right now. Either show us the goods or get the fuck out.”

  Perhaps the woman’s influence is a step beyond the gentleman. Could this be the first time I’ve worked where a woman calls the shots? It makes sense. Malcolm—Jayson’s uncle blackmailed and manipulated women into working for him and doing his dirty work. What if this is a loose string the police never found? One that still needs to be tied up. Jayson lived in Kentucky when he was younger. Malcolm had influence here too, perhaps even lived or spent time here. It was he who first spied Lindsey at a pageant or talent show and then ordered his nephew to draw her in, or so the story goes. Only Lindsey knows the real truth.

  I’m nervous. Worried. There’s a chance I’ve stumbled onto something here. No one may know since I ran off without telling anyone where I was going. What if Josh never finds me?

  What if I'm just paranoid? Jumping to conclusions. I’m not a hundred percent sure anything is wrong here. Only about ninety-nine percent.

  I close my eyes and count to three. It doesn’t help or change anything, but it buys a few seconds until I reach the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head.

  “Oh yeah, I think you’ll do nicely. Can you dance?”

  “Yes…yes, sir.”

  “Nice. She’s got manners, too. Did you hear that?”

  The man who led me in here and the other guy, stand out of the way. Clearly, neither is a part of the decision making process around here. Probably just hooligans they use to keep their hands clean whenever possible. They likely roam the streets and hang out at the local mall and shopping centers. Search for more victims. Maybe handle a drug deal here and there. They do the dirty work while the rich controlling bastard and his bitch— wife or mistress, perhaps—stay hidden.

  It’s at the end of my tongue to tell the bastard to go fuck himself, but I stand glued to my spot. A good girl would keep her mouth shut.

  Just a little while longer. Long enough to find Jayson and find out what happened to Lindsey.

  “We’ll see how you do tonight. You can keep what you make. I’ll let you know at closing whether you have a job, or not.”

  Just like that, I’m a stripper again.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Josh

  “I know you’re upset, bro, but you said yourself she’s hard-headed. I’m sure she just wants to help. Kennedy’s had a lot of experience on the streets. She’ll be fine.” My brother gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Jeff came after I filled him in on everything that’s going on.

  I should’ve known Kennedy would hit the streets as soon as I let her out of my sight. When she told Grant she wanted to be the bait used to draw Phoenix out, I should’ve cuffed her ass. I know all the temptations she’s facing while she’s out there only God knows where.

  “Kennedy isn’t okay. That’s why Dad had me come to Kentucky. It’s a battle for her. The addiction is a continuous war we have to fight. I’m willing to do it with her. I’ll fight every second, but I can’t do it if I don’t know where she is. Fuck.”

  “Son, that isn’t true. I know it’s hard to accept, but if you’re planning a life with this girl, you have to trust her. You can’t keep her locked up every second of every day. I’m an alcoholic, and I’ll always be an alcoholic. Some days I want a drink so damn bad I can’t stand it. In the beginning, I slipped up and fell off the sober train, but I got myself up, dusted off, and got back on. If you truly love her, you can’t take it away from her every time she messes up. You’ll learn to love her through it. She’s trying to help us find your sister. It’s not the best idea I’ve heard, but let’s give her a little credit before we go assuming she’s doing anything wrong.”

  I see the look on Jeff’s face. I think he’s surprised by the old man’s advice. He makes sense though.

  “I agree with Clay…Dad. We have to focus on finding Lindsey, too. I’ve spent a little time with her when Kat and the girls had girl’s nights, but damn, I didn’t have any clue she was our sister. It’s a shock, a lot to take in, but she’s ours, so we have to find her.” I listen while Jeff exchanges conversation with our father. I’m proud he’s giving the old man a chance again.

  Grant’s been shoulder to shoulder with his brother, Jon, and a few local guys trying to come up with a strategy. Everyone’s drawing a blank on where to look. I think Kennedy is the only one with an idea.

  I remember the cell phone I got her and an idea pops into my head. I take my phone out and get to work.

  “I’ve pulled up the location of Kennedy’s phone.” I rattle off the address and watch Jon type on his computer.

  “Looks like your girl’s at a strip club known as the Chrome Bullet.”

  “Nah. She wouldn’t be hanging around a place like that. There’s got to be something else close by.”

  “I don’t know. You said she wants to draw Jayson out. That is her scene.” Grant informs me with an apologetic look on his face.

  “Fuck this shit.” I load the address into my GPS. “Anyone going with me?”

  Everyone in the room takes turns looking at each other.

  “Fine. I’ll go by myself. Better have bail money because I catch a fucker with his hands on my girl, somebody’s going to get an ass-kicking. I’m going to take a belt to her damn ass when I get my hands on her.”

  I won’t hurt Kennedy. They all know that. I don’t think there’s a man here who doesn’t understand me right now.

  I look around as I drive down the backstreets to Chrome Bullet. The location says a lot about the place. I’m not surprised when I walk in the door.

  There isn’t much class here. No offense to the ladies. I’m sure they need a paycheck. Unless they’re like Kennedy used to be, they’re doing it for the drugs, or because a threat hangs over their head.

  A young woman dances around on the stage, scooping up the dollar bills men are throwing. I’m relieved it isn’t Kennedy up there.

  I wait at the bar to get a drink, and then I find a table to sit down and watch. After sitting through two more women coming out on the stage, I decide I’ve waited long enough.

  There’s a chance security will throw me out on my ass, but maybe if I’m careful, I can look around the place a little.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  KENNEDY

  I bite my fingernails while I sit in the small dressing room and wait for my turn. Today has been one of the longest days of my life. I’m shocked Josh hasn’t found me. When all this is over, I hope he can forgive me.

  It’s almost time
for me to go out there in front of all those men. I’ve done this countless times before, but the other times were different. I’ve never stripped without drugs.

  I’ve been tempted. All day, I’ve had to fight the hunger. I remember why I’m doing this. I can’t trust myself to do things right if I don’t keep my head clear.

  “You almost ready, sweet cheeks?” The guy who got me into the place earlier, sticks his head in the room. At first, it’s only his head until he pushes his way inside and closes the door.

  “I’m ready. I should probably go out there…”

  “You got a few more minutes.” He moves closer. I step back, but there isn’t room to put enough distance between him and me. He matches every step and pins me to the wall. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

  “Remember you? No. No, why would I remember you? I’ve never seen you before.”

  He chuckles. It’s not because he’s happy, but because he doesn’t believe me. “I’m Danny. You sucked my cock, and then your boyfriend hauled you away. You owe me, sweet cheeks. That was the deal we made. Now you remember? Huh? I get you the drugs. You give me some smoking hot videos to sell. I kept my end of the deal. Now I want what you promised me. Tonight. After you get done out there. You’re going with me. Got it?”

  I feel sick. He’s just one of the many ugly things from my past that haunts me. I know the night he’s talking about. It was the night Josh carried me over his shoulder and put me in his truck. I don’t remember Danny. I never paid attention to faces. I didn’t want to remember once it was over.

  The only face I ever saw was Josh’s. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I remember the reasons I’m here tonight. I must put on a show. Pretend I belong here. To get the asshole to go away, for now, I nod my head. I’ll figure out a way to avoid Danny later.

  I pick up the denim jacket and put it on to cover the silky red bra. It matches the super short shorts I have on. The G-string underneath is the same red as the bra. There’s entirely nothing to be proud of. I feel cheap, disgusting.