“Don't hate him. It wasn't his fault,” I sigh. “I seduced Hawk... I just don't remember it,” I say, trying to believe my reasoning.
“That's not who I'm talking about, although I'm not overly fond of Hawk at the moment either!” he shouts. “It's your father that I hate!”
“Yeah, well, my father is dead, thanks to you guys. So you don’t have to worry about him anymore either.” Blaming him like that is a cruel card to play, but I need him to give up on me. I need him to move on. I'm no good to anyone anymore. Not that I ever was.
“He may be gone, but he's still hurting you! Don’t you see, Jada? He’s convinced you that you can’t be loved. And now that he’s given you this scar, you actually believe him!”
My mouth opens to deny his accusation, but I can’t. He’s absolutely right.
He walks back over to me and kneels down to look at me. This time I can't seem to turn away from him.
“You think you’re the only one who feels unlovable?” he asks, tears forming in his eyes. “I’m a walking death sentence, Jada. I was never supposed to live this long. All my life, the only people who were there for me is Hawk,” he fights to get his name out, “and my mother. My mother, who had to adopt me because my own parents didn't want me.” He looks up to the ceiling for a minute, as though he's trying not to cry. “For seventeen years, I've only had them.” He looks down at my bed. “Other people don’t want to risk getting close to me. They don't want to befriend someone they know they'll just have to say goodbye too.”
His tears merge with mine on the bed below us. We share a common hurt.
“But I made it this long, Jada. I’ve made it. And now I know why. It’s because I’ve been waiting to find you.”
His hand closes around mine and my heart swells. I want to believe him so badly.
“But – I’m hideous,” I start to say. Self pity is threatening to consume me again.
“Jada, you are not hideous. You are more beautiful now than you have ever been. And I'm never leaving your side again. Do you hear me? Never. We are meant to be together. I can feel it in my bones — in my lungs. When I'm near you... I'm home. For however long I have left on this Earth, I am going to be with you. Do you understand me?”
I stare at him though my one tear-soaked eye, needing to find the lie in his face, but I come up short.
“But this baby... his baby, ” I can't even say his name.
“Hawk never has to know this child is his.” Tobias squeezes my hand. “In fact, it's better if he didn't know.”
“Why?”
Tobias looks down at the bed. “Because if he knew, he'd hunt you down and claim you both.” He looks up at me, panic in his eyes. “He can't take you away from me. Please, Jada. He'd never stop looking for you if he knew you had his child.”
There is a genuine fear in his eyes, a fear that I can feel in my gut is the truth.
“Okay. He doesn't need to know.” I whisper.
Tobias starts to cry in relief.
“I'll make you happy, Jada. I promise to God, I'll make you happy. Both of you.”
Unable to resist, I smile. He really means what he's telling me. And for some foolish reason, so do I.
“Can I ask you for something?”
He lets out a small laugh. “Anything you want. It's yours.”
“Kiss me?” I ask, my voice trembling, still expecting rejection.
Without a hesitation, Tobias brings his hand to my face and cradles it in his hands. His fingers dig into my hair. He leans down to bring his lips to mine. As they connect, I am pulled back into myself. Pulled back to Earth. Pulled back to him. Closing my eyes to the past, I know that I am finally home.
Epilogue
Tobias
Looking around the apartment that is covered in bits of torn birthday paper, I can't help but smile. The afternoon sun is pouring into mom's living room making everything feel warm and perfect.
“Looks like someone had a good birthday, “I whisper to Jada who is curled up on the couch, snuggling our daughter, Janelle. Her blonde curls mirror the exact color of her mother's.
My heart fills looking at Janelle's hand; clasped tight around her mother's neck as she sleeps on top of her. I'm amazed at how she isn't fazed in the least at by her mother's scar. In fact, it's her favorite place to kiss her mama.
“Your mother spoiled her,” Jada smiles back at me.
“I heard that,” Ma says, coming in from the kitchen with a trash bag and a camera. “Grammies are supposed to spoil their grandchildren. It's the law.” She puts the bag down and holds up her camera. It's an old, ancient digital kind. She likes to print out hard copies and frame them like they did in her day. I just shake my head at her stubbornness.
“Now, before we pick up this mess, give me a quick picture.”
She snaps the picture of us cuddled up together. As soon as it's loaded, she walks over to her printer to make her precious copies.
Jada chuckles beside me. I nuzzle my nose into her hair, breathing her healing energy in. I haven't felt this alive in years, and it's all thanks to her. And Janelle. They are my life now.
Across the room, Ma is cooing over her handiwork.
“Oh, he's gonna love this one,” she whispers to the photo.
“Who is going to love it?”
Ma's smile vanishes as she puts the photo behind her back. “Um, no one honey.”
She turns quickly and heads into the kitchen. Something doesn't sit right with me, so I follow behind her.
It's clear she's avoiding eye contact with me as she looks around the kitchen for something to busy herself with.
“Ma, what are you not telling me? Who are you showing this picture to?”
She puts her hands on her hips, the way she does when she feels like she's being attacked.
“Not that it's any of your business, but I've been writing to Hawk this past year.”
“What?”
“Now don't get all upset. I feel bad for him. No one goes to see him, Tobias. Not even his parents.” She raises her hand up to stop me from talking “I know that he killed Jada's father,” she whispers, “But you both know that was to protect her.” She shakes her head sadly. “Someone needs to let that boy know that he hasn't been forgotten about. And if his best friend wont do it, I will.” She pushes past me to grab the broom from the closet.
My heart starts to thrum wildly in my chest.
“Ma,” I say slowly. “Does he know about Janelle?”
“Of course he does! Like I'm not gonna brag about my beautiful grand baby! I send him pictures of you all every week. And don't you sass me about it. That boy ain't got nothing to look forward to locked away in that cell. He lives for the pictures of little Janelle. It's so cute the way he tears up when he sees her.”
Of course he does.
Ma is blind to the fact that her grand daughter has the exact same eye color as Hawk's. I don't think it's even dawned on her that he could even be the father. But you can bet your ass Hawk has it figured out. I've been praying everyday for her eyes to change color, as the doctor tells us will likely happen. That had been the only way we could have stayed. But now that he's seen her, we'd never be able to.
Now that Hawk knows she exists, he'd never let Janelle go. He'd take her from me. And Jada, too.
My body goes numb. Ma leaves me in the kitchen with her broom, unaware of what she's done.
There is only one choice now. We have to run. Before he gets out and tracks us all down.
End of Book Two
Author Bio
Danielle Bannister is a work at home mom of two small children living in rural Maine. She is currently finishing up her Masters Degree and working hard on several other novels. She has written the first in this trilogy, Pulled, as well as a collection of short works entitled Short Shorts. Her work can also be found in the 2012 edition of The Goose River Press Anthology and the 2012 Maine Writing Project's Anthology, Writeous.
You can follow her writing struggles
on her website at: http://daniellebannister.wordpress.com/or find her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pulled-a-novel-by-Danielle-Bannister/127944507296637
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Pulled Back (Twin Flames Series) Page 15