Rocked Down & Out

by Clara Bayard

  I sighed and rested my head against his chest, shutting my eyes. "I do get it. And I'll keep your secret, with a few condition."

  "What?"

  "You tell me how you're feeling. All the time. And you take care of yourself. Rest, pain meds, whatever it takes. And, if things get worse, you don't hide it from me. We'll figure out what to do together, okay?"

  He stroked my back. "Okay."

  "Good. Oh, and I don't think we should be having sex. It's a pointless risk."

  "No deal." Matthew pulled me back to look at him. "I wasn't joking before. There is nothing on this earth that's going to keep me from having you in my bed again. Or your bed. Or wherever."

  I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the tiny bit of satisfaction his words made me feel deep in my most selfish parts. "I won't be able to, anyway. I'll be thinking about hurting you. That's not hot."

  Matthew's hands skimmed down my body and came to rest at my hips. He pulled me against him and leaned down, taking my earlobe between his teeth. "We can be careful, gentle."

  "Still," I whispered, futilely. As much as my brain wanted to hold strong, my body craved him and I knew there was no way I'd be able to control the fire between us for very long. After dancing around each other so long we'd opened a door I couldn't have shut again if I wanted to. And, I didn't want to.

  "So, we have a deal?"

  I sighed. "Yeah, we do."

  "Great." He pushed me back down on the bed and stretched out next to me, slipping a hand over my stomach and down between my thighs. "I think we can seal this deal with something better than a handshake."

  My toes curled at his touch. "You are so pig-headed. I think I get why you and Rick are friends, now."

  He laughed and kissed my neck. "Don't bother trying to turn me off. Now that I've got you I'm never letting go, Ellie."

  There were no more magic words for a girl like me from a guy like him. I believed it, wanted it, and needed it to be true.

  *

  After another very enjoyable hour in bed, I finally got Matthew to call his doctor. She ordered a prescription and gave him some tips to help keep the pain at bay until he went in to see her. While he went to his hotel room, I got showered, dressed and ran out to the pharmacy to pick up what he needed. I found I liked taking care of him, and loved that he trusted me enough to help and keep his secret.

  While I was waiting to get the prescription filled, I flipped through my notebook idly. I'd scribbled down info about a bunch of video footage I hadn't figured out a use for when it came to me. Matthew was dealing with so much, and maybe there was another way I could help him. In addition to hiding his pain, he was feeling unimportant in the band. No matter how many times I'd try to reassure him, I knew it wouldn't help. But maybe I could show him he was wrong. There was a clip of Joe talking about a time Matthew broke up a fight. And some stuff where Rick was almost sweet about how close they were. If I could pull together enough, and add some new stuff, I could do a whole package about him. Instead of feeling like the leftover member of the band, he could be looked at as the glue that held them together, the heart of the group. His calm kindness certainly made me feel safe and cared for, it had to be the same for Joe, Dex and Rick. All I needed to do was find the time to put it together secretly. I grinned, jotting down ideas.

  Back at the hotel, I entered with a spring in my step until I spotted Julia and her mother having a heated exchange in the lobby. I had to walk right past them to get to the elevators, so I just hoped they wouldn't notice me. I was in a good mood and didn't want to get yelled at or pitched at.

  But, of course, I wasn't that lucky. They finished their conversation just as I was passing them, and Julia looked right at me.

  "Hey," I said, slowing but not stopping.

  "What are you so smiley about, figured you'd be pissed about getting scooped." She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. I was briefly distracted by the way the gesture made most of her boobs visible above her v-neck tank.

  "I… uh, what?"

  Julia rolled her eyes. "Is everyone involved with this fucking tour taking stupid pills?"

  "Huh?" Every dumb thing I said made her angrier but since I had no idea what she was talking about, there didn't seem to be another option, if I ever wanted to find out. "What happened?"

  She sighed loudly. "Aren't you gossip hounds supposed to be on top of the latest news?"

  "Uh, usually, but I was um… asleep." That was so lame I wanted to roll my eyes at myself.

  "Well you should probably check your phone, then. I'm sure you've got a lot of messages."

  "Can't you just tell me what's going on?"

  Julia flicked her long red hair over one shoulder in a motion that was somehow alluring and bitchy, and I had to respect the talent to manage that. "Do your own job, Ellie." With that she stalked off towards the elevators.

  Not being a total moron, I elected not to follow her. Instead, I sank down into one of the leather chairs in the lobby and pulled out my phone, swearing as I noticed it was still on silent. There were a dozen messages and missed calls. I groaned and started scrolling through my text messages with growing horror.

  "Of course," I muttered, skimming quickly. "Of course I can't have one fucking nice day without everything going to shit."

  As I got up to speed, my brain was torn to two directions. First, I wanted to go to Matthew, see if he'd seen all of this, and if he was okay. But I also knew this was a potentially huge story.

  But before I could decide, my phone rang, and it was my boss at HSTV.

  I cleared my throat a few times and then answered, hoping I sounded alert and busy. "Hi Val, what can I do for you?"

  My boss snorted. "How about your job, Ellie?" Her voice was serious, but not angry.

  "I'm on it."

  "Is that right? Doesn't seem like you're on it. Let me look at our website for the latest Dream Defiled news." She paused. "Ah, here we are. A very cute and informative story about teamwork. Charming. Now, let's see what every other fucking news outlet has. Oh, here's one from our main competitor. ‘Leaked solo album contract proves the end of Dream Defiled is nigh.' Hmm, hard to say which is a hotter story. What do you think?"

  I cringed. "I think ‘nigh' wasn't the best word choice?"

  "I swear to god, I will invent teleport technology just to come over there and punch you in the face."

  I gulped. "I'm sorry, Val. I swear, I'm all over this. Headed to talk to the band about it right this second." I rushed over to the elevators as if she could see me. "I'm going up now."

  "Great," she said through clearly gritted teeth. "Have video for me in an hour or you're re-fired."

  It didn't seem like the time to tell her she'd never actually fired me in the first place, so I just agreed and apologized until she hung up on me.

  I stopped off in my room to put on some makeup, fix my hair, and grab my camera. I tried to call Matthew, but he didn't answer, so I sent off a quick text and got back in the elevator. When I got off on their floor, I was stopped by a security guard, someone I didn't know. He was filling the hallway, stone-faced. I recalled something about them blocking off half a floor for the band's privacy.

  "Miss, can I help you?"

  "I'm here to see Matthew Daniels. He's expecting me." I felt a twinge of guilt, even though it was only kind of a lie.

  "Name?"

  "Ellie Martin."

  He checked his list and stepped out of my way. "Go ahead, Miss Martin."

  "Thank you." I tried to walk down the hallway with confidence, but I was so nervous I had to settle for just not tripping over my own feet. My phone beeped and I pulled up the new message. Thankfully, it was Matthew's response to my text, telling me where to find him and his bandmates. I checked my camera and headed to the end of the hall where the makeshift "hospitality suite" was.

  I knocked softly on the door and then pushed it open and went inside, holding my breath. To my left there was a doorway leading into a bedroom. The door was open a crack an
d I could see Becca talking on two phones, seemingly at the same time. In the living area ahead, Joe was standing alone with his arms crossed, tense enough that I could see it this far away. To the right there was a dining table loaded with food and drink, where Rick and Matthew sat together, not speaking.

  Matthew's eyes lit up, but his face was still pale when he saw me. "Hey," he said.

  "Hi." I averted my eyes from Rick's angry glare. "Can I borrow you for a second?"

  Matthew smiled. "Of course." He got up and met me in the middle of the room. After taking my hand, he led me to the bathroom and shut the door behind us.

  "Are you okay?" I asked, whispering.

  "I don't know." He hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

  "Well, first thing's first, here's your prescription. They said to take it with food."

  He sighed. "Shit, I forgot all about that."

  I pushed the bag into his hand. "I'm sure, but take them, okay?"

  "Yeah," he said absently. "I guess you've seen the big news."

  "Uh-huh. Um… do you want to talk about it?"

  He shook his head. "Not really."

  "I'm sorry," I muttered, feeling ashamed of what I was about to ask him.

  "Not your fault. We should change the name of the band to Drama Defiled, the way things have been going."

  I laughed a little. "Never a dull moment. It sucks, I know…" Looking up into his tired eyes, I couldn't do it. Couldn't ask him to see if the band would talk to me on camera. It was too insulting after everything we'd been through. As I wrapped my arms around him, and felt how upset he was, for a moment I didn't care about my job at all.

  "I'm glad you're here with me," he said.

  I was about to speak when there was a soft knock on the door, and Becca's voice called out from the other side. "Guys, we need you both out here."

  Matthew squeezed me for a second and then opened the door. I followed him out into the main room to see Joe and Dex sitting on opposite ends of a sofa, and the door to the suite closing behind someone.

  Rick was standing in the middle of the room. He looked over at us. "Hundreds of beds in this hotel and you two are screwing in the bathroom?" He sounded too exhausted to even get annoyed with.

  Dex stood up, scowling. "Can we get on with this?"

  "Should I leave?" I asked no one in particular.

  "No," Becca answered, coming over to put her hand on my arm. "Do you have whatever gear you need to do an interview with the guys?"

  "Yeah, I do. But it can wait for a better time."

  Joe barked out a harsh laugh. "Haven't you heard? Better get us all together while you still can."

  I looked around, baffled.

  Becca sighed. "Ellie, we need you to record the band and upload something as soon as possible. I know that's not the agreement, but you'd really be doing us a favor. We need to address this story before things get out of hand and since you're here, the management team figured this was a perfect opportunity." From her tone of voice, I could tell she thought it was anything but perfect, but as always, she did her job.

  They were asking me to tape them talking about the rumors of Joe's solo album. It was exactly what I needed professionally and the last thing I wanted personally. But I had to follow her example, and do my job. So, with sweaty hands and a dry throat, I nodded.

  Eight

  Awkward didn't begin to describe the footage I shot of the band over the next half an hour. Becca briefed me quickly so I could have a few questions ready, but we all just wanted to get the interview over with. I explained the few different setups I wanted and then said I was ready to start. After getting Joe positioned alone and the others together behind him, I set the camera and stood next to him.

  I had to clear my throat a bunch of times before I could speak without croaking. I did a quick intro and then got right to it, hoping my face didn't betray my true emotions. "Joe, right now it seems like the whole world is talking about this so-called contract. Can you tell me what's going on?"

  He nodded and smiled, but the expression didn't reach his eyes. "It's crap, Ellie. This is my band. This is where I sing, where I write. I don't have any idea what that record contract is, but it isn't mine. I haven't signed anything like that. I haven't thought about signing anything like that."

  "So you're saying it's a fake?"

  "I don't know. I mean, it might be a mistake or, I don't know what else. I can't say what it is, just what it isn't."

  "Okay." I took a deep breath. "It's no secret Dream Defiled has had a rough year. Is this yet another thing adding stress to your lives?"

  Joe looked intently into the camera. "Things go wrong in life. And we're a lot luckier than most people. I can't explain this story, all I can do is tell the truth. I'm not leaving my band. I'm not leaving my brothers. Someday something might be big enough to break us up, but this isn't it."

  I had no idea if he was telling the truth or not, but hid vehemence made me want to believe. "Thanks, Joe. You guys have a show tonight, do you think these rumors will affect that in any way?"

  "No. Our fans know us. And when we get on the stage, everyone will see that Dream Defiled is stronger than ever. We'll let the music speak for itself."

  "Thank you. Next I'd like to hear from the other members of the band…"

  Dex stepped forward and put his hand on Joe's shoulder. The smaller man flinched almost imperceptively but covered it by returning the gesture.

  "Dex, as the other founding member of the band, what do you want to add?"

  He shrugged. "Not much, love. But whoever is trying to start trouble is gonna get trouble right back." His voice was almost too smooth for the words he was saying.

  "Those sound like fighting words," I replied, hoping to get more out of him.

  "I guess they are. We're not perfect, any of us. And we fight with each other. But in the end, we always fight for each other, too."

  I smiled. "Can't get much clearer than that." Falling into the rhythm of work made me feel better and I managed to even get few words out of Rick and Matthew on tape before we ran out of time.

  By the time Becca motioned to me that we had to stop, everyone seemed calmer, if not happier. Not that I could blame them. Preposterous rumors were nothing new for the band, but this one was just plausible enough to be true, and, I imagined, that was exactly the point. A break up now, in the middle of the delayed tour wouldn't be surprising, but it would be huge news. And it would all but guarantee a fully sold out run. Looking around the room I wondered if I was the only one wondering where the story had come from, and if it was meant to hurt or help the band.

  I wrapped up with all of this swirling around in my mind and thanked the guys for their time. Becca gave them an hour for lunch before heading over to the venue for tonight's show. I hung back for a minute, thinking about spending that time with Matthew, but all four of the guys were talking and I figured they could use a little bonding time. I said my goodbyes and headed back to my hotel room.

  Once I was alone downstairs I uploaded the footage from my camera and sent it off with some notes. I checked the HSTV website and there was already a huge banner touting my "exclusive" response from the band, and I rolled my eyes, but was kind of pleased.

  With a few minutes to kill, I surfed some gossip sites and found the original file of the alleged contract. It looked legit to me, but that definitely wasn't my area of expertise. I shot off an email to a colleague to see if they could research the issue for me, if it was common for a contract to be drafted without the artist's knowledge.

  I was running through a long list of emails I needed to answer when my phone rang. I glanced down at the screen and was shocked. It was Steven, and I picked up after a moment of hesitation. "Hi."

  "Hey, little sis." He sounded nervous, which made me sad. "You busy?"

  "Always, but I guess I can spare a minute for you." I said it playfully, trying to pretend it didn't sting that we were uncomfortable talking to each other.

  "How k
ind of you." He coughed. "I should have called before."

  "It's all right." The two thousand miles between us felt like two billion.

  "No, look. I owe you an apology."

  "Steven…"

  "Please," he said softly. "Let me get this out. You know how pig-headed I am, and that I never say I'm sorry. But you're my sister. My only family and my best friend. What I did was wrong, even if it was for the right reason. No matter how I felt, we're a team, and you gave your word, which I should have respected."

  Tears stung my eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry I got so mad."

  "Hell, you've always been a bitch, shouldn't have surprised me."

  I laughed. "Asshole."

  "Always." He chuckled. "Okay, one more thing before I vomit from all this niceness."

  "Yeah, get on with it. I'm way too important to sit here talking to you all day."

  "Shut up, brat. The other thing I wanted to say is, I'm proud of you. I've been checking the site every hour and you're killing it out there. Camera work is shit, but that's not your fault."

  I got up and paced back and forth in front of the window. "Yeah, well, I do the best I can on that front."

  "Your best is terrible, but I assume you're getting someone new?"

  "Yeah, today, actually. But they'll never replace you."

  "Better not. Anyway, I'll let you go. But keep in touch, okay?"

  "Of course. We're family, stuck with each other."

  "Unfortunately," he joked. "Smell ya later, brat."

  I giggled and then rolled my eyes as he hung up, always having to have the last word.

  *

  Hours later I was having the time of my life. The HSTV website had exploded once my interview went up, and my bosses were over the moon. I'd managed to at least start down the road towards patching things up with my brother, and I was on tour with one of the greatest bands in the world. I'd met my new camera guy and he was nice and good at his job, and the show had gone great.