Because the Night (The Night Songs Collection)

by Strassel, Kristen

  “Me too.” I was surprised I could still form words. He practically had me on my knees already. All the bravado, the rock star ego, the sarcasm had fallen away. This was the Tristan I had come here for.

  He slid his hands down my waist to the hem of my dress and pulled it up over my head in one swift move and tossed it aside. I’d barely had time to recover from the shock of standing there with him in just my thong and my shoes before he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me so I sat on the edge of the bed. Fully clothed, he sank to his knees in front of me, pushing my legs apart. I squeezed my eyes closed. He wove his hands through my hair, pulling my face to his and kissed me again. I pushed my body against his, as if I could gain any modesty by closeness.

  He pulled away from me and looked down the length of my body. I shivered, even though he wasn’t cold to the touch anymore. “So beautiful,” he said softly, and I felt myself breathe again. His gaze stopped on my breasts and he leaned in and began kissing, nipping, slowly, confidently. I raked my fingers through his hair, not sure whether to pull him away or push him closer. He sank lower, working down towards my belly button.

  I watched him, not sure what he was going to do next. He looked up at me and smiled. He stood up, still standing between my thighs, and unbuttoned his shirt. Along with his jeans, it joined my dress on the floor. I gasped at the sight of his body, all of it as muscled and taut as his chest. He slid his knee on to the edge of the bed, careful not to make any contact with me, and put one hand on my shoulder, the other behind me to guide me down on to my back.

  I pulled him down close to me, so again he kissed me. I felt much more confident now, my tongue working its way around his sharp teeth, teasing the points. He ran his hand from my thigh up to my breast, caressing it, then pulled away and pushed himself up on his arms.

  He looked nowhere but my eyes, and smiled slowly. He lifted his right arm, the one that had no tattoos, and put his wrist up to his mouth, never taking his eyes off of me. He bit down on his wrist, hard enough to draw blood. I gasped.

  “Trust me, Callie.” His voice was raspy and uneven. He lifted his wrist to my mouth. “Suck.”

  I closed my eyes as I took his arm in my hands. I opened my mouth slowly, barely touching the small trail of blood that had escaped his skin with my tongue. It tasted sweet, like warm syrup. I worked my tongue more confidently around the wounds, finally pressed my lips against his skin and did as he instructed.

  Suddenly the warm syrup flavor exploded into hundreds of different flavors, spicier, and it seemed to flood every part of me. It felt like everything good I had ever felt, all at once. I closed my eyes against it, it was too much for a second, but when I opened them again the room around me was some other world. Colors assaulted every sense. I could smell them and Tristan — he was just magnificent. He gleamed with energy, and I sucked harder. He let out a small cry, so unlike him. I smiled; feeling more excited than I ever had, and I wanted to feel more, could not feel enough of him. His eyes opened, and I moaned at how intent he was on my face, searching my eyes to feel me as much as I could feel him. Groaning, I let up ever so slightly, not wanting to stop, but so eager to move and feel him that I couldn’t wait any longer.

  Tristan grunted hard, and grabbed the back of my neck to pull me up fast. He moaned my name as he melted his lips onto mine, the blood taste still present and now more potent with the taste of Tristan on my lips. When he pulled away it felt like I had lost something I needed desperately, but I understood why when he raised his dripping wrist to his lips, and drank. His eyes bore into mine as he did, and I never wanted anything so much in my life as I wanted him at that moment.

  “Tristan,” I moaned, when I couldn’t take any more waiting.

  He threw me back down on the bed, and every fiber of the linens absorbed me. I felt each singular bead of sweat on my back, every pulse in my legs and everywhere else, like I never imagined possible. Tristan’s hands set my skin blazing, almost painfully, but I whispered “more” to him, unable to speak through all of this feeling. Tears coursed over my cheeks every time his beautiful face came close to mine. It was pure white light, the silhouette of angels must look like, but with the impassioned voice of the man I wasn’t sure I could ever be without now.

  “Callie,” he panted, and I knew what was coming next. I couldn’t pull him close enough, we were two magnets that had finally found each other, and the draw was too much. We both cried out deafeningly, until there was no strength left in either of us. Colors blinded me all around, pulsing bright and hot. I couldn’t breathe until Tristan moved away from me, but I couldn’t let him go far. My fingers entwined in his, currents passing between us as the world became real again.

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  A warm splash of sun caressed my face. It blazed in the windows which covered the whole east wall, overlooking the city below. Stretching and blinking away sleep, I opened my eyes and found myself in a room I’d never seen before. The sleek design and windows looked like Tristan’s house. I’m sure there were many rooms in his house I’d never seen. There was still so much I didn’t know about him.

  I sat bolt upright, my heart still racing harder than it ever had. As the blankets and silky sheets fell away, I realized I wore a black T shirt that didn’t belong to me. I could feel the weave of the soft fabric and I brought it up to my face. Vanilla. Tristan. I inhaled his scent which still clung to my body. My clothes from the night before, dress, jacket, barrette, and shoes, were neatly folded in the chair in the corner.

  Right away I noticed how good I felt; better than I had in a long time. The exhaustion I’d suffered through for weeks seemed so distant. I hadn’t known what was going to happen this morning. Had I tried to go home without a sleepover, I would have literally had to leave on my hands and knees like Tristan promised. I sighed as I looked over the other side of the empty bed. I’d never be able to wake up and look at Tristan’s face bathed in sunlight in the morning as he slept. It felt so empty. I realized the sheets on the vacant side seemed a bit rumpled and indented. Had he been here?

  His absence was a harsh reminder that I needed to rejoin the human race. Next to me was a glass of water, just as still as everything else in the house, and a note.

  Good Morning Beautiful —

  You were certainly full of surprises last night. I enjoyed every minute of it. I stayed and watched you sleep as long as I could. I am sure you understand why I can’t be with you when you wake up.

  XX

  I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I hugged the note to my chest. Still sitting in bed, I looked out the huge wall of windows at the city below. The sunlight refracted off of the buildings, throwing rainbows in all directions. Was it because I’d never looked at the city from above at this time of day, or was everything amplified? I looked down at the note again. I could literally see the ink above the paper. I slid out of bed and padded over to the window. My feet sunk into the plush carpet. Either this was really good carpet, or everything was more sensitive. I examined the prisms of sunlight bouncing off of all the windows of the other hotels, only interrupted in my sight line but the dust dancing and swirling in the air.

  I pressed my face against the glass and could smell the residue of the Windex and paper towels used to clean it. I was in awe of everything around me, so ordinary but so amplified, but I was terrified at the same time. What had happened to me? This wasn’t normal. Fascinating, but not normal. I wasn’t sure I could take any more surprises this weekend, even if they were good ones.

  Blade. I pressed my hand against the window and squinted, hoping maybe I could pick out Molly through the prisms and dust with my new and improved vision. No matter how wonderful my night had turned out with Tristan, I was devastated that Blade treated me so thoughtlessly. Like a forgotten container of leftover food not worth going back for. Even though I had a lousy way of showing it, I cared about him so much.

  I’d come here, to Tristan, out of anger. A single tear burned on my cheek. I knew now the g
ravity of my retaliation. I had changed everything. I could never make this, whatever it was that I was feeling, not be a part of me. Blade would never be able to live with that.

  I’d shown Blade exactly what I’d do if given the chance. But on the flipside, he showed me the same. So much for promises.

  I slid down the window into a ball, still looking out over the city. The rest of the world appeared to be going about their normal routine in its drowsy, slow Sunday edition. It looked like only my life had been ripped apart and put back together in a new way overnight. I didn’t want to be alone right now, but I had no one to go to. My mind went to Tristan, somewhere in the apartment, dead to the world. Literally. It sent a shiver down my spine.

  Reality hit me hard. My boyfriend had walked out on me. I had sex with a vampire.

  Suddenly, I had the need to get the hell out of here and back to my normal life, or whatever was left of it. I took a quick shower before putting my clothes back on from last night. The warm water quenched my skin as it fell around me. The lemon soap and shampoo smelled heavenly. Just what I needed before I put that stale whore suit back on. It had held so much promise when I’d first put in on last evening. I guess it did deliver, just not as I expected. God, I could smell Blade on the jacket. I stifled a sob.

  Tristan had left a number to call for a ride home at the bottom of his note. I called it and when the driver arrived, I headed down the elevator that would not dump me off into the hotel lobby. I welcomed the sounds and the smells of humanity around me. Tristan’s apartment was so silent it was stifling.

  The sun was bright but at least the windows in the car were tinted. I felt like I had super powers. Was I going to be able to act normal?

  Janelle was up and dressed, which was unusual, since she never rose before noon on weekends. Even more unusual, she had several friends sitting on her bed. They all had their heads buried in their phones when I walked in. She didn’t have friends over often, but the ones who did come were just as obsessed with Immortal Dilemma as she was. Did she tell them where she’d left me last night?

  I had nothing to be embarrassed about. My presence startled all of them. I smiled sheepishly at them as I peeled off my jean jacket on the way to my room.

  “How did it go?” Janelle asked.

  “Oh my God, Callie, your arms!” One of Janelle’s friends exclaimed. I tried not to show annoyance at her over familiarity, she sounded genuinely concerned. “They’re so bruised.”

  I checked myself in the bathroom mirror, running my hand down my arm. My triceps were indeed marked from Tristan’s fingers. I hadn’t even felt it. I hadn’t even noticed until she said something. It was ugly. I looked again in the mirror, to see if I had missed any other changes to my body. I didn’t see anything. I pulled on my pajamas and braced myself for the inquisition that was sure to follow.

  Janelle and her friends stared at me open mouthed. I could hear them breathing. I could smell who had brushed their teeth already this morning and who hadn’t, and what kind of toothpaste they used. I could smell their laundry detergent, or if it was time to go to the Laundromat. I could tell the last time they got laid. I breathed deep and swallowed the bile that rose in my throat.

  None of them knew what to say, which I was thankful for. I’m sure they could draw their own conclusions. I wasn’t going to coach them along. I was ravenous. The girls pretended not to watch me empty half the refrigerator to prepare brunch.

  “Is anyone hungry?” I asked to break the silence. No one managed more than a shrug. I made extra pancakes and bacon anyway. Someone was bound to want something.

  I poured the syrup over my pancakes and eagerly dug in. I gagged. The syrup tasted like melted plastic. The pancakes felt like cotton balls in my mouth. I didn’t want to spit it out into my napkin, because that was just disgusting. I swallowed it quick and chased it with a gulp of orange juice. That I almost spit out as well, all I could taste was bitter acid and cheap corn syrup. It was like I could taste every last synthetic ingredient in all the food, all the way down to the bottom of the list that no one could pronounce. Maybe it was a bad batch of pancakes and orange juice? How could that be?

  “Is everything okay?” I asked, embarrassed that I served this slop.

  All the girls gushed compliments to the chef. I didn’t dare touch the bacon. I could only imagine how it was going to feel in my mouth. I almost vomited on the plate. I put my napkin over my food and tried to catch my breath.

  I put my plate in the sink, asking Janelle to clean up, and hurried into my bedroom as quickly as I could before anyone realized anything was wrong. As I dove into bed, I was hit in the face by the stench of my rubber air mattress.

  What had I done?

  Chapter Thirty

  Eventually, I regained my normal senses. I almost went crazy in the process.

  As the Bloodlust wore away, my everyday life seemed more mundane than ever. As awful and horrifying as the aftermath of Saturday night was, my whole body throbbed with the need to see Tristan again. It was like my worst food craving ever times infinity. I was horrified at the thought that I what I was craving was his blood, of all things. I felt like a monster, but at that moment, I would have done whatever it took to get to him. Unfortunately, there were obstacles I couldn’t possibly overcome, like Mother Nature. If the sun was powered by electricity, I would have pulled the plug out of the wall. Hell, I would have blown up the transformer. I wasn’t sure if I could endure the next few hours until I saw him again. So close yet so far.

  I checked my phone and shook my head sadly. I knew there wouldn’t be any messages from Tristan during the day, but there was still nothing from Blade. Even with all that had happened since he’d so unceremoniously abandoned me after his show, his silence still stung. Badly. He was so willing to walk away from me, from us, so completely and without explanation, without giving me a chance to explain. I guess he thought I’d explained enough.

  And after he told me he loved me. It hurt me to the core.

  **

  Instead of him waiting for me leisurely on the couch as he usually did, Tristan rose to greet me as I stepped off the elevator. It was all I could do not to run to him and climb into him, become a part of his skin.

  He kissed me in welcome. I don’t know if he sensed my urgency or if he felt permission to be more aggressive because of what we had shared over the weekend. His fangs nipped at my bottom lip, not hard enough to break skin. It took every fiber of my being to pull myself away from him.

  “What did you do to me?” My breathing was ragged.

  Tristan looked down at me like he didn’t quite understand my question. “What do you mean?”

  “What,” I amped up the forcefulness. “Did you do to me?”

  “Callie, I thought you had done that before,” He still didn’t understand. God, it was annoying.

  “Yes, I’ve done that. But not that with the blood. So please tell me, what happened the other night?”

  Tristan looked away from me thoughtfully as if he was searching for words. He knit his eyebrows together and frowned. I was losing patience with him.

  “How many times have you done this before?” My voice was back to a hoarse whisper.

  He looked at me and smirked. “I didn’t peg you as a numbers game kind of girl.”

  If I thought it would have made a difference, I would have strangled him. Instead I pushed against his chest, which was hardly effective since he still had me grasped tightly by my hips close to his body.

  “Jesus, Tristan, this isn’t funny. How many people have you shared blood with? And if you’re tracking numbers, I’ve only been with you and Blade. And you both confuse the hell out of me.”

  “I didn’t think Bradley was so complex.”

  “We aren’t talking about him right now.”

  “You brought it up.”

  “Answer my question.”

  He sighed and looked uncomfortable. I could feel him shift his weight from foot to foot. “Once, as a human. And I
received the blood.”

  Oh my God. So he’d never done this before. He had no idea what was happening to me. I’d had unprotected sex with the world’s most irresponsible vampire.

  Did my stupidity know no bounds?

  “What happened to you?”

  “I’m not sure to be honest. I was pretty messed up. And,” he paused uncomfortably, “I was turned soon after.”

  My mind reeled. “Who did you receive the blood from?” Although I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

  He swallowed hard before answering. “Talis.”

  I closed my eyes while I digested the information. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. How could he be so stupid? How could I be so stupid? I finally rested my head against his chest without opening my eyes. I could feel the blood pulsing through his veins.

  It made me want him more.

  He stroked my hair. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

  Finally, I lifted my head and looked up at him. “I’m sorry? Sorry? What does this mean, Tristan?” I was bordering on hysteria.

  “You’re not like me.” It didn’t make me feel any better. “It’s not that simple.”

  “I know that. I think. But what’s happening to me? I practically want to claw into you standing here.”

  That whole statement seemed to take him by surprise. Before he had a chance to say anything, I did sink my claws into him, pulling his mouth to mind recklessly fast, clashing teeth and groaning. My eyes were closed, but color exploded as I tasted his tongue and felt his skin under my fingernails. My ears zeroed in on the hiss vibrating through his teeth as he tried to pull back a little. He didn’t really commit to it though, and suddenly was matching the energy behind my attack. His fingers snaked though my hair and shockwaves seemed to emanate from inside my skull. We kissed for so long, it felt like we’d entered a time warp. My legs felt like they were dangling weakly somewhere off the floor.