Spirit

by Shauna Granger

  “Whatever it took,” I said, my voice wavering only slightly now. I lowered my hands, uncovering my head and opening my eyes, blinking back the tears. “I helped innocent people, no matter the cost.” My voice grew stronger with every word as I lifted my head. The skin of my back itched and burned as I stood up. The dark fog was lifting, shifting back to white streaked with grey.

  “Nothing to say to me now?” I demanded, standing my ground, waiting for an answer. When one didn’t come, I lifted my chin and said, “I don’t know what your rules are, and frankly, I don’t give a damn. I have helped plenty of people even though I made some mistakes. I’m proud of the time I spent on Earth. You are not going to punish me now by taking me away from the people I love. They will die without me, and I will not let that happen. I will spend the rest of eternity running from you just to stay with them and do what I think is right.”

  Lightning burst overhead, blinding me with a brilliant flash of white. I cried out in surprise, closing my eyes too late. Bright spots appeared in the dark behind my eyelids. Then the crack of thunder boomed all around me, the sound waves buffeting me from every direction, making me stumble over my own feet until I suddenly fell. I braced for the impact, but the ground beneath my feet just wasn’t there anymore, and I was like Alice down the rabbit hole all over again.

  Rushing wind tore at me, pulling my hair out of the loose, haphazard braid to tangle my locks as they whipped at my face. When I opened my eyes, I still couldn’t see past the spots of white and my ears rang. Pain lanced through my back, making my body bow as I flew through the air. I might’ve cried out, but by then I was so confused, I couldn’t be sure what happened next. I felt something pulling at my back as something warm seeped down my body. Somehow I caught a current of air and was pulled backward, moving sideways as I drifted down, the momentum of my fall gently slowing.

  I shook my head to clear my vision, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to blot out the white lights. When I opened my eyes and craned my head back, I saw my black wings spread out behind me, slicing through the air. A surprised sob burst from me, followed by a cry of agony when I tried to flap them.

  The pain lanced through me, contorting my body and locking my limbs, holding me in an unending moment of pain. It felt as though my back was actually broken between my wings. In my mind, I saw the beams of the collapsing ceiling above me from the night I had died. I didn’t remember what had actually killed me, but in that moment, as my back contorted in blinding pain, I realized I must have been crushed under the weight of those beams.

  There was a pounding in my head, and for a second, I thought my ears were bleeding. I tried to scream to relieve some of the tension in my body, but my voice caught in my throat and all I could manage was a whimper. The bones and muscles of my back were still molding, still reshaping to fit my newly reformed wings and knit themselves back together after being crushed. I hadn’t had my wings in so long my body forgot how to compensate for them. I could actually feel the bits of bone and torn muscle fibers moving under my bruised skin, making my stomach roil in protest.

  The wind pulled one of my feathers out, sending a new, sharp spasm through my shoulder blade. I gasped in pain, desperate for my body to relax, but my vision was staring to fade. I knew my mind was shutting down, unable to deal with the pain any longer. The fog finally cleared, and I could see streaks of bright points of light rushing past me, stars in the night sky. I thought I saw the ground hurtling toward me just before my eyes rolled back into my head and I passed out.

  When I came to again, I was kneeling in the grass, my left foot tucked under me and my hands resting on my right knee. I lifted my head slowly, blinking my eyes open. My body smoked in the cold night air. I felt the weight of my wings arcing off my back, the tips resting on the ground a few feet behind me. The pain in my back was gone, finally. The bones, muscles, and skin were repaired wholly; not even an ache remained.

  I felt the weight of a dozen stares on me; I was surrounded. Jodi and Steven stood in front of me, clinging to each other, the whites of their eyes showing. Beside them stood Ashriel, his face wet with tears even as he smiled. I turned my head back and forth and saw a dozen other people and creatures, all watching me. Iris stood in her flowered glory, light emanating from her very being, with her entourage all around, including Jeremy, who looked very much like an elf as he smiled. Between them sat Balor, his white fur bright in the darkness. I saw his tail whipping back and forth behind him as he danced in place, desperate to run for me.

  I saw the shadowed forms of Gwyn and Jacob, as if they had sent their spirits into this world, but their bodies remained in the Outlands. Katcharias and two of his kin stood in the circle, looking strange with two legs and on dry land. Tegan, the tiny faerie that had given me back my faerie sight, fluttered in front of my face, glitter sifting from his body before he darted away with a knowing smile. Then my eyes landed on Liam, standing just to the side of Ashriel. His pale lips curled into a small smile when he bowed his head slightly. I felt my heart pound at the sight of him, and I realized I had been terrified this entire time that maybe he hadn’t gotten away in time and had died. I hadn’t let myself think about it, knowing if he had, there wasn’t anything I could’ve done. But he was there, healthy as ever.

  I wasn’t all together sure who I was supposed to look at or speak to first, but the sudden rush of power from the ground below me pushed those thoughts out of my head. The grass around me had started to grow faster than all the other grass, and when I placed my hand on the ground, tiny clover flowers bloomed between my fingers. I had dominion over the Earth once again.

  I pushed to my feet slowly, feeling my wings shift naturally to accommodate my new position, as if I was used to having them now. Steven was the first to take a step forward, extracting his hands from Jodi’s. I watched him come, each step just a little more unsure than the last, until he stood right in front of me. The brown of his eyes was bright again, like liquid honey and trapped fire. He lifted his hand and reached for me. When his fingers touched my cheek, they were warm, and I could smell roasting peppers and campfire smoke. I cupped my hand over his, leaning my face into his palm.

  Jodi was next to us in another moment, a gust of wind whipping around us in her excitement. I held out my other hand for her, and she took it, her fingers twining with mine. Power rose inside of me like a wave, rearing up and crashing through me to wash through each of them. Jodi laughed even as tears sprung to her eyes, and Steven wrapped us both into a bone crushing hug. I heard Balor bark, unable to control himself anymore, and he rushed forward, circling us, jumping in excitement.

  “How?” Steven asked as he released us, stepping back.

  “I guess I passed some sort of test,” I said, scrubbing my face with the back of my hand. We turned to look at Ashriel, who was still crying quietly. He smiled a watery smile and nodded.

  “It appears you have,” he agreed. “And it appears they are going to let you stay here.”

  “How do you know?” Jodi asked.

  “Because I’m here,” I said. “And I am healed and I have these.” I gestured to the wings behind me. I pressed a hand to my chest and felt my heart pounding. “Ash, am I alive again?”

  “Yes,” he said, “alive but immortal.”

  “Whoa,” Steven whispered, looking at me again.

  “Immortal?” I asked, suddenly feeling a heavy weight settling on my back. It felt like the weight of a thousand years. Balor whined next to me, sitting on his haunches and leaning into me, his weight no longer too much for me. I rested my hand on his head, blinking at Ashriel.

  “You are reborn,” he said, stepping forward until he could take my hands. “All your sacrifices for so many, your determination to do what is right; they have given you back as a true earthbound angel. You will never age, bound here to fulfill your purpose, just as you always have.”

  “Just like that?” Steven asked, his brow pinched.

  “It wasn’t just like that,” I said, shaking
my head. “It felt like I died all over again.”

  “You did,” Ashriel agreed.

  “But I can stay?” I asked, squeezing his hand, almost too afraid to believe it.

  “You can stay,” he said with a nod. “But I must go.”

  “Why?” I asked quickly, feeling my heart leap into my throat.

  “This is now your domain, and I must move on to help the next like you,” he said, lifting his other hand to brush his fingers over my cheek. “I am so proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered, feeling my throat swell as tears stung my eyes. “Thank you for not giving up on me. You know, even when I acted like an ass.”

  He laughed, his face brightening like the sun breaking through a storm, and said, “You’re welcome, Terra.”

  He faded as I watched, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw all the others gathered in the circle were fading away as well. Gwyn and Jacob were already gone.

  “Will I see you again?” I asked quickly, trying to hold onto Ashriel’s hand until the very last second, suddenly terrified of losing him even though I had run from him this whole time.

  “I will always be with you,” he said. “You need only to call for me. Be well, Terra. I know you’ll make me proud.” His voice was barely a whisper at the end as he faded from sight, leaving me, Jodi, and Steven alone in the field with Balor. My friends rushed back to me, throwing their arms around me, holding on desperately, crying and laughing in complete relief. Balor barked happily, rubbing his snout against my leg.

  I was exactly where I was supposed to be and nothing, not even the Powers that Be, could take me from them ever again.

  Epilogue

  The very first thing I did was go home and see my parents. They both handled seeing me appear out of nowhere on the front porch pretty well, all things considered. I really thought at least one of them would faint, but they just stared, unbelieving as I walked in the house. Jodi and Steven offered to go with me, but I decided to go by myself. I had thought about lying to my parents, telling them I had been lost after the fire, making something up about hitting my head, but Jodi told me it was already March, so it was doubtful that would fly. And really? I was tired of hiding, tired of lying.

  I guess I expected them to be so happy to see me alive that they would just throw their arms around me in a bone crushing hug. But in reality, they reached for each other, almost holding each other up. I wanted to reach out for them, hug them and just be happy, but the fear and confusion on their faces stopped me. Maybe I was still just a little too naïve and hopeful, even after death.

  When they still didn’t speak, I said, “Mom…” I paused to clear my throat. “You know I have abilities, like you and grandma.”

  “Yes, honey,” she said in a voice squeaky with nerves as she held on to my dad’s arm for support. They both stared at me as though I was some monster with two heads or a dog that could talk.

  “Well, I have a lot more than you ever knew.”

  “They told us you died,” my dad said in a rough whisper, ignoring what I said. I wasn’t sure he had blinked since I walked in.

  “I did, dad,” I said as gently as I could, a stitch forming in my chest. “But I’m back.”

  “But…” My mom stepped closer to me, reaching out to touch my arm. She hesitated for a second, her hand shaking in midair, but when she finally touched my arm, her fingers coiled tightly, almost painfully. She blinked and looked into my eyes, hers bright behind unshed tears. And then she smiled. Something between a sob and a laugh burst out of me, and I smiled back at her, the first tear spilling down my face, hot and wet.

  “I know,” I managed, my voice breaking. I took a breath to steady my nerves and then called my wings forward. It didn’t hurt one bit; they just appeared and disappeared as I willed without ever tearing my skin or breaking my bones. I felt their familiar weight settle between my shoulders, pulling me back slightly as I adjusted my stance to support them in the confined space of the living room.

  My dad’s legs gave out, and he sat back on the couch, hard, with a whispered curse, and my mother’s hand spasmed on my arm, her nails almost cutting into my skin.

  “I did die, but I’m a guardian angel, and they let me come back,” I said, looking from one face to the other. “I’m allowed to stay here, in this town, with you guys.” I bit my tongue, realizing I was about to start babbling because they weren’t responding. With a breath, I finally said, “If this is too hard for you, I’ll understand. I can go and leave you in peace, but I thought you should know.” My voice broke again, and I couldn’t stop the tears. It wasn’t going how I thought it would at all.

  “What?” my mom said, blinking rapidly as she looked at me. “Go? No!” She wrapped both hands around my arm as if she was afraid I’d disappear right there in front of her eyes. Relief crashed through me like a tidal wave, threatening to knock me over. I smiled softly at her and laid my hand over hers, trying to reassure her I wasn’t leaving again.

  “No,” my dad echoed, standing up and coming forward. He wrapped me and my mom into a crushing hug, and I felt a hot tear hit my face when he closed his eyes. I willed my wings away, allowing me to step fully into the circle of their arms. We didn’t talk about what that exactly meant for me, for us, but there was time for that later, plenty of time. I would eventually have to deal with the fact that I was immortal now, while my friends, my family, were not. But for the present, I gave myself permission to not think about that. Just for now, I allowed myself a little peace.

  I found that I could see people’s true selves when I looked at them. I knew who was a truly good person despite any flaws they might have, and I knew with a heart stopping clarity who were the real monsters in our world. It was as if my empathetic powers had finally come to fruition, and that was what they were supposed to be like. People’s auras shone bright for me to see before I ever saw their faces. I knew what was in their hearts, for good or bad. My job was to watch out for those who needed help and to stop those who would destroy others whenever it was within my power. That was the one major change in my life. The Powers that Be didn’t reach out to tell me how to know when to intervene and when not to, so I just continued on as I always had.

  Jodi and Steven’s elemental powers came rushing back to them as soon as I took my first breath, bringing them back to life again and that looming shadow disappeared. They were far more powerful than they had ever been before; they could create wind and fire with a simple thought and were able to stop it just as easily. Personally, I found myself outside much more than I ever had in life, finally appreciating my Earth powers as I always should have. Having them stripped from me for a paltry three months felt like a lifetime, and I wasn’t about to take them for granted ever again.

  Balor got to stay with me. It was nice to have him at my side, willing and ready to help me. He also kept me tied to the other side, bringing balance to my new existence as a living angel. I tried to stay home with my parents, tried to slip back into a “normal” existence for them, but I just couldn’t do it. Something about being confined in the house wore me down. My mom fought me, but eventually she too could see it in my eyes. I needed to be outside, part of the world, the Earth.

  Iris welcomed me and Balor to stay in the Sidhe whenever I needed to. Unsurprisingly, being hidden away inside the Earth didn’t burden me like being inside a house; rather it recharged me and was the one place I find that I could rest. And Balor liked it, and that was very important. So I moved between the Fae world to the human world, finding my place somewhere in between, and was finally at peace.

  I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing just yet, but I have some experience saving people, and Ashriel has enough faith in me for the both of us. I just hope I can live up to this; I hope I am good enough for it. As I look out on my town, with the wind ruffling my wings, the power rushing through me from the ground below, and see the bright lights of all the innocent souls shining back at me, I know I want to try. And as I see the shifting, sneaking
black souls, plotting and scheming, I know I have to try.

  The end.

  Acknowledgements

  I honestly cannot believe this series is complete. Writing these stories has been a huge part of my life for the last five years. Writing “The end” was one of the strangest things I’ve ever written before. But even stranger is knowing how many people have given my books a chance and have fallen in love with my characters almost as much as I have. So, with that said, the first thank you I have to give is to you, my reader. Without you, making a commitment to read these books and support me as a writer, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

  To my husband, John, thank you for being there for me. Whether it was as a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on or taking me out to celebrate the small and big occasions, thank you. Your support has meant the world to me and your faith and belief in me and these books has meant more to me than you will ever know.

  To the ladies that make my books stronger, Cassie, Dayle and Juanita, thank you for time and efforts. I know how lucky I was to have you three in my corner, helping me with these books. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  To all the book bloggers who’ve read, reviewed and promoted my books, I am forever in your debt.

  To Stephanie Mooney, my amazing cover artist, thank you for wadding through my rambling descriptions and creating master pieces. I get so many compliments on my covers and I am so proud of them and to have worked with you.

  About the Author

  Shauna is still living in Southern California with her husband and two dogs and she is still writing. Having already started on the next, magical adventure, Shauna is working furiously on her new Fantasy series. You can follow Shauna on her blog, www.shaunasspot.blogspot.com, for more information on her upcoming projects.