Healing the Wounds

by M. Q. Barber

  Jay’s eyes widened, but Henry nodded encouragingly.

  “I, umm, I’ve been so—you both know I love you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. And I don’t normally, I mean, it’s not like it’s a chore. I like having my mouth on you and hearing how excited it makes you and feeling soft skin around hard need and knowing I’m in control of making you feel so good. But this week—this week it’s been so—” She shook her head, wishing she wasn’t about to cry and knowing she couldn’t prevent it, because the sting in her eyes was sharp.

  “I’ve been afraid. Because you’re men. You have cocks. And I didn’t want to see them or feel them or think about them. I keep, I keep hearing his voice and seeing—” She choked back a sob. She needed to admit this. For Jay. For Henry. For herself. “He was rubbing himself through his pants and saying he was going to—he was going to fuck my mouth—and I couldn’t move and I was so, so angry and scared and hurt and I wanted out.”

  Struggling for breath, she waved off Henry reaching to comfort her. She needed to finish this, to say the most important part. “And then Henry said we were leaving. And Jay picked me up. You think I’m the one who saved you, Jay, but that’s not—you both saved me, too. I needed to get out, and I don’t think I could’ve even stood up on my own, and you carried me home. To safety.”

  Henry clasped her hand. “I’m sorry, Alice. I very much wish I could have prevented you from seeing that image, from hearing those words.”

  She squeezed his fingers. “I know, Henry. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I wanted to hurt him.” Jay spoke quietly. “For acting as if he had a right to think about you that way.”

  A start. But for him the pain centered on her. As if he didn’t register that Cal had done worse to him.

  “I was—” Jay scraped at the sheets. “I think I was gonna try. I dunno exactly, but I wanted to put my hands around his throat and—” He closed his fist.

  “And I wanted to kill him for the things he said and did to you,” she said. “And if you ask Henry, he’ll say the same.”

  Jay looked young and vulnerable, his slender shoulders bowed, his eyes rounded, and his brow lined.

  “Alice is right, my boy. The world would be better for his loss, and what he’s done to you and to her upsets me terribly.” Nostrils flaring, Henry executed a slow blink and exhaled. “But I’m very pleased she was able to share her fear with us. It was a difficult thing to say, wasn’t it, my dear?”

  God yes. Compressing everything into a tight ball and stuffing those stomach-knotting feelings into a dark corner would’ve been easier. Except her denial would’ve given Jay one more reason to pretend his pain didn’t exist. To man up. She dredged honesty out of the muck for him.

  “Not just because it still bothers me.” Made her doubt herself. “More because I’m ashamed to say I’ve been afraid of you.” Amazing men who didn’t deserve her fear. “I don’t want to feel afraid. I didn’t know how not to until you made it so nonthreatening tonight. And then I remembered how much stronger the other things I feel are, the love and desire and safety.”

  Nodding, Jay let go of the sheets. Tension drained from him.

  “Would you like to share something, Jay?” Henry coaxed with steady patience. “Something you want or don’t want tonight?”

  “I—yes.” Jay sat up straighter, and his intent stare pulled her in. “I want to apologize to Alice.”

  She fought the urge to cringe. He still didn’t understand. “Sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault. I don’t—”

  “No, wait, that’s not—” He shook his head and turned to Henry. “I want like the first night, when you let me touch her for the first time.”

  “You want your mouth on her skin. To taste her, sweet and flowing with desire.”

  She flushed, her skin growing hot and needy.

  “You won’t be able to avoid becoming aroused, my boy. Can you accept that?”

  “I…I don’t want—” Ducking his head, he cast a quick glance at her.

  The words he’d shied from scrolled through her head. “It’s okay, Jay. I know you don’t want to fuck me tonight. You won’t hurt me by saying it.”

  He relaxed. “Thank you, Alice.”

  Henry smoothed Jay’s hair. “You’ve made a lovely suggestion, Jay. And you needn’t penetrate Alice. But you can help her with her fear. In fact, we might find something from that very night that will help, hmm? Alice greatly enjoyed watching you touch yourself for her. I felt the difference inside her as she tightened around me. There’s nothing shameful in that, my boy. You’ll make your apology to Alice, and then we’ll remind her of how beautiful you are when you come.”

  “Henry’s right.” She let Jay see her desire for him, recalling with pleasure how mesmerized she’d been to watch him work himself to climax with thoughts of her. “I’d love that. Please?”

  * * * *

  She associated words like reverent and slow with Henry. Not Jay. Tonight, she had to revise her mental map, to recategorize “eager to please” as “devoted to pleasure.”

  Slow kisses on her inner thighs became warm breaths across her sex. He didn’t probe for entrance but teased her lips with long licks until her body opened for him.

  She ached for him to move faster, to push her over the edge with typical swiftness. She’d waited all week, and only her imagined fears had held her back. Her body wanted to make up for lost time as much as she wanted to share this time with Henry and Jay.

  This wasn’t for her, this apology. It was about her, maybe, but it was for Jay. The comfort he needed. The welcoming embrace of her thighs. The love and gentleness he wanted to show her.

  She hardly suffered, lying beside Henry’s warmth, he teasing her nipples and kissing her neck while Jay took the time he needed to feel safe expressing his desire. She wasn’t so fragile, not even after last week at the club. But he was.

  Still, Henry capturing her mouth made for a pleasant addition. He brushed her hip with his cock but didn’t press or demand a response.

  Raising her knee, she draped her leg against him.

  Jay stroked the back of her thigh. He flicked her clit with his tongue.

  She tensed, hips pushing up, seeking more.

  He retreated.

  Shoving down a frustrated growl, she forced herself to calm. He might succeed in teasing her into annoyance if he couldn’t accept, what, her arousal? His?

  Henry touched his lips to her shoulder. “Beautiful, isn’t she, my boy? So wonderfully responsive.”

  Jay’s breath washed over her sex.

  “It’s tempting, isn’t it? To lie with your nose buried in her scent and taste her sweet welcome and do nothing more than that, hmm?”

  Dark hair tickled her thighs. Brushing his mouth across her lips, Jay sent a shiver through her. His gentle, closemouthed kisses fluttered around her clit.

  “You don’t wish to hurt her or to push her. To make her feel as though she must come for you. As if it were a demand you made of her, of her body, without her consent.”

  Shit. She should’ve seen that. Of course Jay would be nervous about making her climax, no matter how much apologizing he intended to do between her thighs.

  “She doesn’t have to,” Jay whispered. “If she doesn’t want to. It’s okay not to. It’s okay.”

  He tongued her despite his words.

  Deeper, please.

  Henry sealed her mouth with a heavy finger. “But if it were her choice, my boy?”

  Spilling a quiet moan, Jay leaned in and pressed his forehead to her sloping belly. His plea and nudging promise vibrated through her with muted intensity.

  “Surely if Alice asked, you’d help her climax.”

  Help. Not make. Jay’s way forward. She nodded to Henry.

  With a tap at her lips, he freed her to speak.

  “Please, Jay?” She cradled all she could reach of him, pushing back his soft, shaggy hair. “Will you help me feel amazing?” Requests and permission, Jay’s most fluent language.
“I feel how much you love me, sweetheart. You show me with every look and every touch.”

  Henry had placed her hand on the switch.

  She had to throw it for Jay herself. “Will you taste how much I love you?”

  Her tentative, sweet boy gave way to the urgent lover she knew so well. Bracing her thighs, he rolled his thumbs across her clit in a rapid, alternating rhythm sending her spiraling up to his mouth.

  Thrust. Suck. Repeat.

  Jesus, she needed this. Needed him, needed his stiff tongue inside her and his mouth wrapped around her and the whoosh of hot, heavy air striking her clit as he beggared himself of breath to satisfy her.

  Buried between her thighs, he uttered a muffled whimper teasingly familiar. A shadowed Saturday morning, both her men breathtakingly beautiful, Jay on his knees worshipping Henry’s cock.

  Her hand throbbed. Fuck. She’d mimicked Henry’s hold on Jay’s hair. Tight and clenching, and she wasn’t Henry, she shouldn’t be treating—

  Henry covered her hand and squeezed. “Do that again, dear boy. You feel how you’ve pleased Alice, don’t you? The way she pulls you closer? How she demonstrates her desire for your touch.” Henry kissed her cheek. “Give her the sweet rush she seeks.”

  Jay thrust forward with redoubled effort.

  She rocked into the pressure, greedy and drunk on Henry’s approval and Jay’s inexhaustible devotion.

  He breathed faster, harder, the higher pitch near whistling as she danced to his tune. He pulled back—God no, he couldn’t stop, not when she’d gotten so close—swiped his tongue between her lips, and sucked at her clit like she held the last sip in the bottle.

  She tumbled.

  Shivering against Henry, clamping her legs around Jay’s neck and shoulders, she babbled her thanks in incoherent syllables.

  “Another,” Henry murmured. “Give our girl another. She’s been too long without.”

  Her body clenched in agreement.

  Spreading her lips, Jay sank his tongue between and lapped with eager attention. He abandoned finesse for speed, rocking the bed, maybe grinding his cock into the sheets. Pleasing her, pleasing Henry, made him so fucking happy.

  He fluttered teasing taps across her clit.

  She pulled off Henry’s move with greater confidence, tugging Jay’s hair to signal her readiness for more.

  Jay leapt into action, his hard swipes driving her to the edge.

  Henry traced a path along her arm and across her stomach, stopping at her breasts. He nuzzled her neck with nibbles and kisses and circled her nipple, a faint tickle. “My strong, beautiful girl.”

  He pinched.

  Fuck. Sharp, sweet pain, her body lifting, need pulling at her. Jay held her in place, his tongue deep and moving and God—

  Mind scattering, she shook.

  She fell limp to the bed, her legs dropping, knees wide, arms sliding to her sides. Tiny blips of excitement kept coming, spikes in the lazy satisfaction settling in her muscles.

  Henry cradled her. Jay dotted her thighs with kisses.

  She thanked them, once she’d found her voice. “I’m so glad you suggested it, sweetheart. Your love was exactly what I needed.”

  Jay left a loud, smacking kiss below her belly button.

  Henry nipped her earlobe, rumbled, “Beautifully done,” and planted a firm kiss on her lips.

  She’d pleased him. Fulfilled a vital role in this relationship. Helped Jay shed some fear and guilt, hopefully. Warmth rolled through her.

  “Up on your knees, my boy.” Henry sat up, too. “Waiting pose, precisely where you are.”

  Jay knelt between her legs, his knees sliding under hers in a vee. He settled his ass on his feet and waited. Hands at his sides. Cock hard, the tip gleaming.

  “Back straight, please.” Henry ran a finger along Jay’s erection.

  Jay’s chest rose. His shoulders broadened. No more hunch in his posture.

  “We want Alice to see this beautiful gift you have to show her.” Half-hard himself, Henry settled behind Jay in the same pose. He pressed in close, legs sliding forward alongside Jay’s. “How the thought of her fills you with desire.”

  Jay’s cock, a gorgeous sight, tall and satisfying, same as its owner. Threatening would never describe him. Not by a country mile. Playful. Boyish. Charming. But her eyes tried to skitter away from his decidedly male presence.

  Henry held Jay’s knees. “All right, my boy?”

  Jay nodded, his gaze pinned to her face. “If Alice is,” he whispered.

  With a kiss to Jay’s cheek, Henry squeezed her thigh. “Share with me, sweet girl. How are you feeling?”

  She wanted to answer relaxed. To say the orgasms Jay had given her had been enough, because they had, except—I’ll fuck her mouth while she quivers in your lap—stray flashes bounced at unexpected angles, disorienting and quick and irrational. Embarrassing. No wonder Jay’d needed a spur from Henry to push past the chaos.

  “A little, a little nervous.” Confession was good for the soul, right? Henry demanded honesty from her, and Jay needed to see it, and they both deserved it. “And irritated with myself. For being nervous.”

  Jay’s wide, sad eyes fueled second thoughts.

  “Good girl,” Henry murmured. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of nerves.” His gentle touch on her thigh soothed in its repetition. “We’ll see if we can’t increase your comfort level, dearest. You need only watch.” He leveled his gaze at her over Jay’s shoulder. “And if that demands too much of you, what will you say?”

  “Pistachio.”

  His smile calmed her. “Exactly right.”

  He rubbed Jay’s cock with his knuckles.

  The way Jay’d been denying himself, she half expected him to pop off the second Henry touched him.

  Whimpering, Jay trembled. His cock softened and flopped over Henry’s hand. Jay bowed his head, chin to his chest, eyes scrunched closed.

  Lose an erection, Jay? Fuck, he walked around with a perpetual hard-on.

  Henry curled his left arm around Jay’s chest. His right hand guarded Jay’s cock, protectively cupped over his groin. “Tell me, Jay.” In contrast to his tender hold, Henry’s voice commanded obedience. “The truth, now.”

  “I’m sorry. I do want to. I do.” Pleading with her, Jay opened eyes brimming with tears. “You know I want to. You know I love you.”

  “I know, sweetheart. It’s okay.” Whatever the problem, it sure as hell wasn’t that he didn’t find her arousing. She’d never doubted that Jay did.

  “The thought, Jay. The one that distracted you. Share it with us.”

  He clenched his fists atop his knees. “I don’t want Alice to be afraid of me.”

  Henry held him tighter. “Of course not, my dear boy. Nor do I desire for you to inspire Alice’s fear.”

  She tugged Jay’s hands alongside her hips, coaxed them open, and slipped her fingers between his. He wouldn’t need them, not with Henry taking care of him.

  “It’s not you that frightens her, no more than it was I who frightened you at first.” Henry nudged Jay, bending their heads together. “Do you remember, brave boy? Better associations. Pleasant memories. We’ll help our sweet girl together.”

  She couldn’t imagine the work they’d done to make Jay as comfortable and playful as he usually behaved in bed. As secure in Henry’s love. She’d had a slim fraction of the exposure to Cal’s viciousness. “I’m not afraid of you, Jay. But I do need your help.”

  Saying words she’d expected would make her feel weak made her oddly stronger. She didn’t have to defeat Cal’s echoes alone. She had Henry and Jay to help banish them. “I’m ready to watch. To remember how beautiful you are.”

  Jay nodded, a low moan escaping.

  Henry’s doing. Not caused by the hand secure over Jay’s heart, but by the one squeezing and tugging his balls with gentle strength. Henry rubbed with an almost flat palm, avoiding more than incidental brushes against Jay’s cock.

  “An excell
ent example, my boy. Exactly what Alice needs to see from you.”

  Palms pressed to her hips, Jay leaned into Henry’s hold. His cock gained thickness and length and the deepening colors of arousal. Her own private showing, Henry creating art before her eyes.

  “Not a demand.” Henry ran his fingers up Jay’s cock. “A gift. An offer.” He traced the thick ridge along the underside and circled the plump head. “One she may accept or decline.”

  A gift she wouldn’t refuse, just as she never refused Henry’s demands. He could’ve demonstrated using his own cock. A deliberate choice, a rejection of intimidation.

  Not that he always intimidated her, but she encouraged that forceful demand from him. The one that told her he would, and could, take care of her needs without making her ashamed of craving his dominance.

  She didn’t seek that treatment from every man. The jackass trying it at the club had turned her off lickety-split. She loved Henry’s singular brand of control.

  “He’s a beautiful gift, Henry.” She stroked upward, over the curves of Jay’s knuckles and past the narrowing of his wrists to the lean strength in his muscled forearms. Her gentle partner and playmate. Her sometimes-submissive boy who yearned for forceful control from her, too. “Thank you.”

  Henry half shielded his smile beside Jay, white teeth and black hair and a quiet kiss. “You see? Alice calls you beautiful.” Sparks danced in his green eyes, his energy lighting her up. “She loves the sight of you hard and ready for her. Obedient to her desires.”

  Pink-cheeked and flush with praise, Jay accented his panting breaths with a moan in their depths.

  “Tonight, she wishes to see you climax with thoughts of her. You see her own beauty spread out before you, don’t you?”

  Jay thrust into Henry’s hand, pre-come beading at the tip of his cock. Sleek and straining, he made little bouncing hops, his ass wiggling along Henry’s thighs. Her speedy hare zipped toward the finish line with adorable, contagious delight.