Indecision (Follow Your Heart Book 1)

by Caragh Bell

  Keeping his mouth on hers, he didn’t dare stop in case she came to her senses and ran away. The DJ shouted something in German and the music started to fade. Luca grabbed her hand and pulled her outside before the harsh lights came on. He didn’t want to break the spell.

  They ran out into the cold night. Her breasts were heaving in excitement and her eyes glittered. He knew she was plastered but, hey, so was he. The main objective was to go somewhere and go there fast.

  She took the lead and, grabbing his hand, she started walking towards the hotel. Nodding at the night porter, she led him inside and started to mount the stairs.

  He steeled himself. She’s going to say goodnight. This is it, Luca. Get ready.

  But she didn’t stop at his door. Instead she continued on to the end of the corridor. Inserting the key in the lock, she pulled him into her room.

  Luca couldn’t breathe. This was unbelievable. She was really letting him inside. Taking off his jacket, he felt awkward for the first time in his life. What should he do? Say something? Kiss her?

  Lydia locked the door and switched on the lamp next to the bed. Taking off her jacket, she threw it on the ground. Reaching up, she placed her palms on his chest and gently pushed him onto the bed. Without saying a word, she pulled off her dress and stood before him in her underwear.

  He swallowed hard. With her long hair flowing down her back, she looked like a goddess.

  She pulled off her tights, one leg at a time. Unclipping her bra, she left her breasts fall free. Slipping her panties down, she straightened up.

  Luca stared at her. She was perfect. She looked at him shyly, her cheeks flushed. He stood up and like lightning removed his clothes. Naked, they faced each other, until he pulled her down on the bed.

  Kissing her neck, his hands explored her body, caressing each curve, worshipping her. Lydia moaned and urged him between her legs. He felt her open up to him and nearly went wild. She was so hot for him, he could scarcely believe it. Bending his head, he sucked her nipple and she cried out. She wriggled underneath him, wrapping her legs around his waist, enticing him inside her.

  ‘Do you have protection?’ he whispered in a hoarse voice, feeling like he was going to explode.

  She shook her head. ‘I’m on the pill.’

  He looked deep in her eyes. ‘I’m clean. Do you trust me?’

  Her eyes were huge. ‘Yes.’

  His mouth possessed hers and, not waiting, he plunged deep inside her. She cried out, but pulled him deeper. Slowly he began to move, heightening his passion with every thrust. She lay beneath him in ecstasy, scratching his back as he pushed her higher and higher.

  ‘Oh, Luca, Luca!’

  He kept going, speeding up. She threw her head back and moaned in pleasure. He could feel the orgasm coming and he couldn’t stop it.

  With one final thrust, he came. She called out as her own orgasm coupled with his. Breathing heavily, he came back down to earth, his body clinging to hers.

  That was mind-blowing, he thought, burying his head in her breasts. It was better than I ever thought it would be.

  With supreme effort he pulled his head up to gaze down at her. She said nothing, but smiled. Kissing her gently on the lips, he had never felt so happy.

  ‘Don’t get too comfortable,’ she whispered. ‘I want you again.’

  Luca grinned. He was more than happy to oblige.

  Happy New Year to me, he thought.

  They woke to loud knocking on the door. Luca reached out and pulled Lydia to him.

  ‘Ignore them,’ he murmured.

  Lydia disentangled herself from his arms and tried to get up.

  ‘I feel so dizzy,’ she whispered, disorientated.

  ‘Lydia! Wake up, our taxi leaves in an hour!’ Samantha rapped on the door again.

  ‘Okay!’

  She came back to earth with a jolt. ‘Luca! Jesus, you need to get out of here. The others! They’ll see you – oh my God!’

  Luca yawned. ‘No they won’t. You locked the door. I’ll sneak out in a minute.’

  She threw his top at him. ‘You need to leave! Now.’

  ‘I was hoping we could grab another few minutes?’ He patted the bed next to him.

  Lydia felt like vomiting. She couldn’t remember much about last night. Then slowly but surely, she started to piece together what had happened. She put her head in her hands.

  ‘Oh no, oh no. This is bad. This is terrible.’

  Luca sat up straight. ‘What’s so terrible?’ he asked.

  She groaned. ‘You need to leave. You need to go. Quietly. What if Jess sees you? She’s probably wondering where you are.’

  Luca frowned. As far as he was concerned, Jessica was history. Dominic was another story, but all in good time. Sure he felt bad for the guy but all’s fair in love and war. Waking up beside Lydia felt so right, making love to her had been everything he’d dreamed of and more. Life was complicated – everyone knew that – but terrible? No, it was wonderful.

  Lydia pulled herself together. ‘Look, you need to leave. Don’t let anyone see you. Say you got up early to clear your head. I don’t care what you say but do not say you were with me. This is a disaster. If Colin or Sam see you, I don’t know what I’ll do. What a total mess!’

  She started pacing the room.

  Luca got to his feet and pulled on his clothes. ‘Okay, I’ll go. If that’s what makes you feel better. You need to chill, Lyd. We did nothing wrong.’

  ‘Wrong? Are you serious?’ Her eyes flashed. ‘I have a boyfriend. You have a girlfriend. It was all completely and utterly wrong.’

  He reached out to hold her but she flinched.

  ‘Forget this ever happened,’ she said. ‘It was a huge mistake.’

  Luca stared at her in confusion. This was a first. He had never been spoken to in this way. He watched her shove clothes and magazines into her suitcase. He had to admit that she didn’t look like she was joking.

  ‘Lyd, come on! Are you serious?’

  ‘I have never been more serious in my life. This goes no further. Please go.’

  Picking up his jacket, he retreated out the door. For the first time in his life Luca felt unwanted and he didn’t like it one bit.

  Chapter 28

  The journey home was a subdued affair. Everyone had horrendous hangovers and the main objective was to sleep. Lydia buried her face in her book, ignoring everyone. She feigned sleep anytime Colin tried to make conversation.

  Jessica didn’t even ask Luca where he had been the night before. They sat in stony silence. He had been planning to end it when they got home, but now he could see that he didn’t have to bother. Her beautiful eyes couldn’t bear to look at him. He could see that he had crossed the line.

  Samantha and Craig were too sick to focus on anyone but themselves and for that Lydia was grateful. She couldn’t handle the third degree today. Not when her heart felt so heavy with guilt.

  Why did it happen? Why did she lose control like that? It wasn’t in her nature. She wasn’t that type of girl. She was in love with Dom. Why did she risk everything for a quick shag with a player? A guy who used women and threw them aside? Was her ego that big? Did she really fall for the flattery?

  Jessica had never looked so miserable and frankly she didn’t blame her. He treated her like dirt and now she herself was an integral part of it.

  Closing her eyes, she prayed for some relief from the horrible banging in her head.

  She deserved every minute of this torturous hangover. That and more besides.

  Her luggage arrived in record time. Without saying a word, she activated the pulley handle on her suitcase and stalked off.

  Colin called out to her as she turned the corner. ‘Hey, Lyd, wait up! I won’t be long.’

  She nodded and kept going. Anything to get away from Luca.

  The automatic doors at Arrivals swung open and she walked out.

  Dominic was standing by the railing, waving frantically. Lydia panicked and wanted
to bolt.

  Why was he here? Ordinarily she would have been thrilled, but today it was too much.

  ‘Lyd!’ he called.

  ‘Hi,’ she said weakly, giving a half-hearted wave.

  With a pain in her chest, she approached him. Within seconds, she was engulfed in a huge bear hug.

  ‘I missed you,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘Happy New Year, baby.’

  ‘You, too,’ she answered, feeling nauseated. She felt like she was wearing a scarlet letter on her bosom and everyone could see it.

  ‘Dom!’ Colin arrived out of nowhere and slapped him on the back. ‘Good to see you!’

  Dominic smiled. ‘Did you have fun without me?’

  Lydia choked. ‘It was great. I mean, it was awful without you obviously, but we had fun.’

  ‘Good.’ Dominic took her bag. ‘Let’s get you home. You look worse for wear.’

  ‘Mad night last night,’ said Colin, making a face. ‘We’re all suffering.’

  Please go, please go, pleaded Lydia silently. She wanted to be gone before Luca came out.

  They were just walking away when Lydia heard her name. She turned in confusion to see Luca running towards her. The whole world stopped moving. She looked at him in horror.

  ‘Lyd! You forgot your magazine by the baggage belt.’ He smiled widely at everyone. ‘Hi, Dom, good to see you, man.’

  ‘My magazine,’ repeated Lydia stupidly.

  ‘Cosmo, right? Looks interesting.’ He grinned as he handed it over.

  Lydia focused in on the front cover.

  ULTIMATE SEX TIPS

  ‘Thanks,’ she said in a small voice.

  Dominic waved goodbye and pulled her away. ‘You need to lie down, Lyd. You’re as white as a sheet.’

  She nodded numbly. ‘Take me home.’

  She woke to the sound of the church bells chiming from the cathedral nearby.

  Stretching, she yawned loudly.

  ‘Finally.’ Dominic kissed her head.

  In a flash, she remembered the day before. The sick feeling in her gut returned and she wanted to die.

  ‘I was so tired yesterday.’

  Dominic nibbled her ear. ‘So, you must be well rested now.’

  She closed her eyes. When he nibbled her ear, it meant one thing. She couldn’t face it. Not after everything.

  ‘Need to pee,’ she muttered, getting up abruptly.

  He lay back in the bed, the sheet draped over his muscular torso. ‘I’ll be waiting.’

  She closed the bathroom door and tried not to cry. She couldn’t have sex with him. Not now. Not until she sorted out this mess in her head. How would she get out of it? The trusty headache? What a nightmare. Two weeks ago she would have given her left eye to have Dom in bed with her, relaxed and affectionate. Now all she wanted to do was bolt.

  After about ten minutes, she ventured out of the bathroom. Samantha’s door was fastened shut. She suspected that she wouldn’t see her until Monday morning.

  Dominic was sitting up when she returned. ‘All okay?’

  ‘Not really. I forgot my pill in Austria. We’d better not risk it.’

  If he produces a condom, I will jump out the window, she vowed silently.

  ‘Oh.’ He looked crestfallen.

  She breathed a sigh of relief.

  ‘Come over here and give me a hug then.’

  She walked dutifully over to the bed and slipped into his warm embrace.

  ‘You seem distant. Are you all right?’ He looked concerned.

  ‘I’m fine. Just wrecked. Honestly.’

  ‘You’re not cross over the funeral thing?’

  ‘No, no, not at all.’

  ‘It went well by the way.’

  ‘What did?’

  ‘Auntie’s funeral.’ He gave her a funny look. ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’

  She smiled brightly. ‘Never better.’

  Dominic left at six.

  ‘I have a busy couple of weeks coming up. Can you make it up to see me?’ He pulled her close.

  Lydia avoided answering. ‘Drive safely. Text me when you get home.’

  He kissed her forehead tenderly. ‘I love you.’

  ‘Me, too.’

  She turned slowly after she waved him off and wondered what to do. The thought of the flat was unappealing. Sam and Craig were holed up in Sam’s bedroom and she knew they would not surface until the next day. She could call to Colin but he was probably exhausted as well.

  She had never felt so lonely in all her life. Alone with her thoughts, she couldn’t even think about that last night. How could she have been so reckless? Why did it happen?

  Glumly, she walked into her bedroom and listlessly picked up a book. She could read, but it would be pointless. Her concentration was nil.

  The flat was eerily quiet. There was no sound from Sam’s room, which probably meant that they were both asleep. She envied them. She wished she could go to sleep and wake up last week. Long before any of this happened.

  Miserably, she climbed into bed and lay down.

  She couldn’t escape the gnawing feeling of guilt. It was invading her body like a cancer.

  Should she tell Dom? How would he react?

  He’d dump her ass. That’s how he’d react. And rightly so.

  She didn’t want to lose him. He was her world. He didn’t deserve this. Any of this.

  Luca crept into her mind and she cringed. Even the thought of him was unwelcome. He symbolised everything that was wrong with her life.

  She must never see him again.

  A familiar ache began in her tummy. The cramp was instantly recognisable.

  Oh perfect, her period to boot. Just to crown everything. No wonder she was so emotional.

  Dragging her body up, she ran to the bathroom. Sam was bound to have some spare Tampax somewhere.

  Luca tried to throw his empty beer bottle in the bin, but missed.

  ‘Damn trash can!’

  He paced the room, running his fingers through his hair.

  Should he call her? His cell phone was burning a hole in his pocket.

  He pulled out his phone and unlocked the keypad.

  To call or not to call?

  Something told him not to do it.

  She needed time to cool off. She would come to her senses eventually.

  The night stretched interminably ahead of him. There was no sign of Craig. Jessica had left the airport without even saying goodbye. He knew he deserved it and wondered why he didn’t care.

  Was he a total bastard?

  They had come to the end of the road anyway. It was over.

  He wondered what Lydia was doing. Probably wrapped around her boyfriend. Luca opened another bottle of beer viciously. Why did Doctor Perfect have to turn up at the airport anyway? He had planned to call over to Lydia’s last night.

  He would just have to wait. He would win eventually. There was nothing like a challenge.

  Chapter 29

  Two days later Lydia was sitting in Colin’s flat drinking camomile tea and reading Hello!. Suddenly her phone started to ring. Glancing at the screen, she turned the volume down.

  ‘Lyd! Why won’t you answer that thing? That’s the third phone call that you’ve ignored.’ Colin peered at the flashing screen. ‘Oh! It’s Luca!’

  Lydia glared at him and said nothing.

  ‘What does he want? Why won’t you answer?’

  ‘Pass me the teapot, please.’

  ‘Lydia! Dish the dirt.’

  ‘There is no dirt. Now, pass the tea.’

  ‘Why is he ringing you over and over? Is he stalking you? Now that he’s single and all?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then, what? I’m dying here. I sense gossip and I want to know.’

  ‘Just drop it, Col. There is nothing to report, okay?’

  He didn’t look convinced. ‘The truth will out, you know.’

  ‘That’s great,’ she answered in a bored tone. ‘Now give me your opinion on Kate
Middleton’s dress in this picture.’

  Samantha decided to spend the rest of the school holidays in West Cork. Dragging her bag to the door, she pulled out her phone and rang Craig. ‘Are you outside?’

  He was due to pick her up at two.

  Lydia yawned as she walked into the living-room area. ‘Are you off?’

  ‘Yeah. Mum has the roast in the oven already.’

  ‘I might be down next weekend.’

  ‘Buzz me if you are. There’s left-over lasagne in the fridge if you want it.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  The door slammed shut.

  Switching on the kettle, Lydia debated what to do. She had her literature review to do. It loomed over her like a black cloud. It was so hard to think of study and research when all she wanted to do was bury her head in the sand.

  Luca’s calls hadn’t abated. He just did not seem to get the message. She spooned some coffee into a mug.

  Did he really think that this was all okay, that she was going to give up her life to be with him? Her parents would kill her for starters. Then there was Christine.

  She shuddered. Talk about playing into her hands.

  But never mind Christine. She couldn’t bear the idea of hurting people she loved. It definitely took the gloss off her infatuation with Luca. As if on cue, her phone buzzed indicating a text message.

  Answer my calls

  She turned the phone over and sipped her coffee.

  Not a hope.

  She eventually got dressed and arranged to meet Colin down town for lunch.

  Walking down by the river, she shoved her hands in her pockets to keep out the cold. The sales had begun in earnest and the city was packed with eager shoppers looking for a bargain.

  Normally she would have been first in the queue, but not today. Everything had paled into insignificance.

  Colin was waiting at the table when she entered the café.

  ‘Yoohoo! Lyd! Over here.’

  She made her way to the small table by the window and hung her coat on the back of the chair.