Now, as she stood next to the cabinet counter, waiting for the coffee to finish dripping, she could only wonder what had come over her. Nearly three days ago, she’d called Rafe because she’d been ashamed of her rude behavior. Because she hadn’t wanted him to think of her as a shrew or a tease, or a woman who knew nothing about having a relationship with a man. She’d never intended the call to be an invitation. Or had she?
She supposed that question was inconsequential now. With his tall, lean body standing only a step away from hers, she realized more than ever that she’d missed seeing him these past few days. And in the parking lot, when they’d kissed so passionately, she’d felt herself changing. She’d felt herself wanting to give to him. To make him happy and in doing so make herself happy. It was a scary realization. But she was wrapping her mind around it, anyway.
“Looks like this is ready,” she said as the coffeemaker gurgled and spit the last few drops. “Would you like to go sit out on the back patio?”
“Sounds nice.”
She handed him a mug filled with coffee, then gestured toward a door with paned windows on the top half. “It’s out this way.”
Lilly’s small backyard was shielded from the adjacent neighbors by a wooden privacy fence, while directly at the back a chain-link fence separated her patch of yard from an empty lot shaded by tall cottonwoods and a patch of salt cedars.
After she lit a pair of torches to ward away the mosquitoes, she walked across the red-brick patio to where Rafe had taken a seat on a wooden glider.
As she eased down beside him, Rafe said, “This is nice and quiet. Looks like no one lives directly behind you.”
“No. From what I’ve been told an elderly lady used to live there. After she passed, the old house was torn down. The property passed on to her daughter, but thankfully the woman refuses to sell. Not that I don’t like having neighbors. But I enjoy my privacy.”
“Hmm. The Horn covers hundreds of thousands of acres and it all belongs to the Calhoun family, but you have to travel far away from the ranch yard to find real privacy. All of my brothers still live at home. And several of our employees, including the resident vet, live not far from the family house. And then there are the single men, who live in the bunkhouse. Someone is always around.”
She glanced at him. “Does that bother you?”
He shrugged. “I’ve never known anything else. Besides, if I want to be alone all I have to do is saddle up and ride in most any direction. The only thing you’ll find for miles is cattle, mustangs and other wildlife.”
Each time he spoke of the Silver Horn she could hear warm pride in his voice. Clearly, the ranch was the center of his life and she could only wonder if he would ever make room for a woman.
“Rafe, the other day—when I called you—I wasn’t expecting this to happen,” she admitted.
“When I found your call and drove into town I wasn’t expecting to be sitting here with you like this. You haven’t exactly been encouraging.”
She looked away and across the yard to where a dragonfly fluttered over a birdbath. “That’s why I called. I didn’t want you to think...well, I didn’t want you to take my discouragement personally.”
“Lilly, how could I not take it personally?” he asked with comical confusion.
She looked at him and tried to smile, but everything suddenly seemed so complex and serious. She didn’t know how to explain herself or if she should even try.
“Like I told you earlier, Rafe, I had a bad experience with a man like you. And since then I’ve purposely shut myself away.”
“A man like me? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“Maybe I should have said that differently. This man—he liked women. A lot. And so do you.”
The corners of his lips turned downward. “Most men do like women. A lot.”
She sighed. “You don’t have serious intentions, Rafe. That’s what I mean.”
“And that makes me villainous?”
She paused for long, thoughtful moments before she finally answered. “I don’t think of you in that way anymore. These past few days I realized you were very different from that man I used to know. And I like you. I’m old enough and wise enough now to understand that I can enjoy your company without strings or commitments or any of those things.”
He was silent for so long that she was beginning to wonder if she’d offended him somehow, but then he reached over and covered her hand with his.
“I don’t suppose you want to tell me about this...man you used to know.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “There isn’t much to tell. Other than he was a brash, good-looking intern who made me lots of promises he never intended to keep. And I made the foolish mistake of believing him.”
“And you’ve let a man like that scare you away from other men?” He grunted with disbelief. “You must have been wildly in love with the guy.”
Had she loved Grant wildly? During their relationship, she’d believed her whole world had hinged on him. She’d believed she’d loved him. But now as the years had wisened her, she was beginning to see that she’d not been in love with Grant; she’d been besotted by him. So much so that she’d been blinded to the reality of their one-sided relationship.
“I was naive and gullible. At that age, I never believed that any man could treat a woman so cruelly.” She shook her head. “I got my eyes opened and then later...I supposed I was so soured by the whole ordeal I didn’t think any man would be worth the risk of trying to love again. But with you, Rafe, I can see that you’re the sort who wouldn’t even say the word love, much less pretend to harbor that emotion. With you I already know what I’m getting. I don’t have to wonder if you’re hiding anything.”
He placed his coffee mug on the ground then folding his arms against his chest, he shifted in the seat so that he was facing her. The frown on his face said he didn’t exactly like her description of him.
“So you think I’m an open book, do you?” he asked.
She breathed deeply, then wondered why it didn’t relieve the heavy feeling in her chest. She should be feeling as light as a feather, she thought. She was finally breaking out of her cocoon. And even if nothing could ever come of this relationship with Rafe, it was still a new beginning for her and that was something to feel happy about.
“If a woman ever misunderstands your intentions, it’s her own fault,” she murmured, then rising to her feet, she walked out to the birdbath, where a patch of wild black-eyed Susans grew around the concrete base.
She was plucking one of the flowers when Rafe walked up behind her and slipped a hand over the top of her shoulder. “I’m not exactly pleased at the image you’ve painted of me. Coming from you it makes me sound rather heartless. And maybe in lots of ways I am. But I am glad that you’re willing to give us a chance, Lilly. We’ll have a good time together. And I can promise you one thing. You won’t have to worry about me hurting you. I’d never ask you for more than you’re willing to give.”
She turned to him and as her gaze slipped over his face, it occurred to her that she wasn’t worried about Rafe asking her for too much. She was more concerned about herself and the idea that she might end up wanting to give him far more than he wanted. Like a piece of her heart.
But she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on that thought now. Starting tonight, she wanted to change the direction of her life. She wanted to be a different woman than the one who’d spent the past five years filling every waking moment with work and very little more.
“I’m not worried. We both understand that we aren’t going to get serious. You don’t want that and neither do I. We’re just going to date. That’s all.”
For long moments he searched her face. “I agree. But are you sure everything is all right with you?”
“Everything is fine. Why do you ask?”
She smiled at him. “I’ve needed to be different for a long time, Rafe. And make things in my life better.”
Cupping his hand along the side of her face, he smiled back at her and even in the dim glow of the yard lamp, she could see softness in his eyes. The look melted parts of her that had been frozen for far too long.
“I have a feeling everything is going to get better,” he murmured. “For me and you. For us.”
With that he bent his head to hers and Lilly was only too happy to give him her lips.
* * *
The next morning, shortly after nine o’clock, Lilly was about to begin Bart’s therapy exercises when he announced he had a surprise for her.
With her hands propped on her hips, she stood in front of his chair. “If you’ve bought me a gift thinking it will make me soften up on your exercises, then you’ve wasted your money.”
Bart chuckled. “I don’t want you to let up on me, Lilly girl. I’d work at this another hour if you’d hang around that much longer.”
“Another hour would be too much of a good thing,” she told him. “So where is this surprise? Behind your chair?”
“How did you guess?” With a rumbling chuckle, he reached behind the big recliner, but instead of pulling out a sack or box, he was holding a wooden cane with a carved handle.
“Where did that come from? Did your son, Orin, buy it for you?”
Shaking his head, he said, “No. My loving wife gave me this cane years ago when a bull kicked my ankle and broke it. Once I got to walking again, I told her I’d put it away for my golden years. Looks like those years have arrived.”
“Nonsense. You’re not old yet. You’ve just had a little setback.” She gestured toward the walking stick. “Having said that, I hate to rain on your parade, Bart. You’re not ready for a cane. You’re still having trouble moving behind a walker.”
“The hell you say,” he boomed. “Just watch this.”
He started to rise from the chair and, expecting him to fall face forward, Lilly automatically lunged toward him and snatched a grip on his arm.
“Bart! Wait! Let me help you!”
With surprising strength, he shook away her hand. “Help be damned! You just get out of the way.”
If this had been taking place in the hospital, Lilly would have quickly summoned the help of a strong male nurse, but in this case, she was going to have to deal with Bart’s stubbornness herself.
“Bart, if you fall—”
“I’m not stupid. I haven’t lost my senses yet.”
Realizing the show of independence was, in the long run, more important than keeping him safely anchored to the chair, she yielded and stepped out of the way.
“All right. If you fall on your ass, I’m not going to feel sorry for you.”
Grinning, he slowly but surely straightened to a standing position. “Now you’re talking like my kind of woman.”
Before she could make any sort of remark to that, he took one shaky step away from the chair and then another until he walked a good ten feet across the room to where a large window gave a vast view of Silver Horn land. When he finally came to a halt, he was out of breath, but the triumph on his face was priceless.
Lilly tried to keep her expression stern as she shook an admonishing finger at him. “You’ve been getting up and trying to walk without anyone to help, haven’t you?”
“I don’t want anyone around here pestering me. You’re the only one, Lilly, that doesn’t get me flustered.” His grin was full of pride. “So what do you think of your old man now?”
“I’m very impressed. You keep making this much progress and I won’t be needed around here much longer.”
His grin swiftly vanished. “If that’s the case, I’ll start faking it. ’Cause I would surely miss you coming to see me, Lilly.”
During her years as a nurse, Lilly had often been told by many patients of how much they appreciated her help and inspiration. But something about Bart growing attached to her was different somehow. Maybe because when she looked at the elder Calhoun, she saw a bit of Rafe.
“You’d better not start faking anything,” she warned him. “When you get totally well, I’ll still drive out here to see you from time to time.”
“You will?”
She nodded. “Surely. Now come back and sit down so we can begin work on your arm and hand.”
* * *
More than an hour later, Rafe entered the house by way of the kitchen and found Lilly standing with Greta at the kitchen counter going over a stack of crinkled papers.
She was wearing a white nurse’s dress that was nipped in at her tiny waist and stopped just above her knees. Prim white stockings and a pair of low-wedge heels that fastened with a strap across the top of her foot completed her uniform. She managed to look professional and sexy at the same time and just the sight of her was enough to put a spring in his step.
Sweeping off his hat, he ran a hand through his flattened hair as he walked over to the two women.
“Good morning, Lilly. Are you swapping recipes with Greta? She could certainly use a few new ones.”
The cook scowled at him. “If you don’t like my cooking you can walk straight down to the bunkhouse and eat that hog swill that Percy serves up.”
“Shame on you, Greta!” Rafe scolded with a laugh. “Percy is a mighty fine cook. The men tell me he only burns two or three meals a week now. Maybe you ought to go give him some cooking lessons.”
Greta batted a hand through the air. “That old man wouldn’t listen to a word I told him. Just like a few other men around here that I know,” she finished with a pointed look at him.
Rafe tossed a grin at Lilly. “Greta loves me. She’ll tell you that I’m her favorite son. At least, she’ll tell you that while my brothers aren’t around.”
“Don’t be lying to the girl. I wouldn’t tell you that if we were the last two people on this earth, Rafe Calhoun. You’re a scamp. The only thing you’re good for is punchin’ cows.”
Rafe laughed then winked at Lilly. “Greta does a good job at keeping me grounded.”
Snorting, the cook gathered up the stack of papers then said to Lilly, “I’ll go over these menus with Bart. He’ll try to weasel a steak or a dish of ice cream out of me, but don’t worry. I’ll stick to my guns.”
“I’m sure you will, Greta,” Lilly told her. “And that’s good. But it’ll be okay for you to give him a treat once in a while. We want to keep the patient happy.”
Greta gave her a conspiring wink. “I’ll do my best, Lilly, to make him think I’m letting him get by with something.”
The cook left the room and Rafe instantly moved closer to Lilly. “I hadn’t expected to see you so soon,” he admitted. “We had a pair of flats on one of the horse trailers this morning and had to return to the ranch yard for more tires.”
“Five more minutes and I would have been gone,” she told him. “I’ve already finished with your grandfather. But Doctor Kennedy asked me to speak with Greta about Bart’s diet.”
“Good thing I decided to come to the house and fetch another thermos of coffee.” He reached out and wound a tendril of blond hair around his forefinger. “I can tell you how much I enjoyed being with you last night.”
Uncertainty flickered in her eyes. “I wasn’t sure. You left rather early.”
Shortly after the kiss they’d shared in the backyard, he’d told her good-night and driven straight back here to the ranch. A move that had surprised him probably more than it had surprised Lilly.
“You were very tired and you had to be up early this morning.” He repeated the same reason he’d given her last night.
&nbs
p; But actually, consideration for her work schedule had only been a polite excuse for ending their evening together, Rafe thought. Her kiss had spun him around like a dust devil out of nowhere. If he’d stayed longer, he would have kissed her again. And again. And then he wouldn’t have been able to stop with just kissing. Lilly wasn’t ready for that. In fact, Rafe wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready for that kind of relationship with him. Still, those doubts weren’t enough to dampen his desire to be with her.
“I have a short shift today at the hospital. So that helps.”
“Short? Then perhaps you’d like to come out for dinner tonight? Greta’s cooking Mexican food. And I’ve been wanting to show you around the ranch. That is, if you’d like to see it.”
She shook her head. “I’ve already promised Bart that he could show me around the place once he’s gotten his motor skills back.”
Rafe was surprised. Not that she’d promised Bart, but that the old man had invited her on the excursion. His grandfather had always appreciated a pretty woman. But ever since Rafe’s grandmother, Gilda, had passed away his grandfather hadn’t shown any interest in entertaining one. Until now. Perhaps Bart was falling in love with his nurse? That would definitely put a kink in things, he thought wryly.
“Oh. So my grandfather is competition for me now?” he teased.
She shot him a clever smile. “Bart and I have a special connection. But he’s just a tad bit old for me, don’t you think?”
Rafe grinned while thinking how much he would like to spend hours with this woman just so he could look at her, hear her voice, drink in her scent and watch the ever-changing expression in her brown eyes.
Watch it, Rafe, you’re getting damned soppy and fast. Before you know it, you’ll want to spend days, even weeks with this woman. That’s not your style. If you’re not careful you’re going to be in deep water way before you ever realized you made the jump.
Blocking out the mocking voice in his head, he answered, “Just a tad. So what about dinner? Can you make it?”
One Tall, Dusty Cowboy (Men of the West Book 29) Page 6