Alex

by Monica Robinson

  Brenda stepped into the house and glanced around before nodding her greeting to Alex. “Hello."

  Once Mr. Lincoln entered, Daniel shut the door and cleared his throat. “Brenda, Michael, this is Alex Kincaid. She'll be my chaperone during our meeting."

  This wasn't a total lie. With Jason helping Charlie with the horses, Daniel needed an escort while in the house and since she was on the DOC's payroll, her uncle had asked her to stay with him. Never mind the fact she would have insisted on it anyway.

  "I see,” Brenda said with a faint smile. “It's nice to meet you, Miss Kincaid."

  "The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Lincoln. Please don't let my presence keep you from speaking freely."

  The couple nodded their agreement and slipped into the kitchen. Alex caught the hesitation in Daniel's eyes and nodded her encouragement. “It's okay, Danny. I'm right here."

  Though he said nothing to confirm this, his eyes registered appreciation for her words. Holding her breath, she watched him enter the kitchen to face his worst nightmare. She returned her attention to the magazine in her lap, her heart thundering against her ribs. Please let this go well. He doesn't deserve the hell he's put himself through.

  "Before anyone says anything, I want you both to know how unbelievably sorry I am for what I've done. I know saying, ‘I'm sorry’ isn't nearly enough, but it's all I can offer you."

  Smack!

  Alex darted her attention to the kitchen to see Daniel holding his cheek, a look of surprise on his face. Brenda's lower lip trembled with fury while her eyes narrowed.

  "You son-of-a-bitch!” She pounded his shoulders with her fists, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Why didn't you call us? Michael or I would have gotten you boys. You were always the more responsible one of you and Allen. Why, Danny? Why?"

  Alex tossed the magazine onto the cushion next to her, her muscles taut in anticipation. It was then her uncle's words from the night of Greg's visit came back to her. “Every one of those boys is going to face challenges on the outside that don't necessarily pertain to their current incarceration. I needed to see how they would react to an emotional situation."

  If there was ever an emotional situation this was it, but just like the way Jason had allowed the interaction between her and Greg to transpire, she needed to let Daniel finish this.

  Daniel's shoulders sagged and he made a quick swipe at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I don't know,” he replied softly. “I don't know why I did it, but I wish to God I could change what happened. I didn't mean for it to happen. Allen and I were going to go to Brownwood together last year. He was my best friend and I loved him. If you believe nothing else, please believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt y'all."

  Brenda raised her fists as if to hit him again when her husband grabbed her from behind.

  "Sweetheart, please. You promised to hear him out.” When she continued to struggle, he said, “Look at him, Brenda. This hurts him too. That's why we came. To bring closure for all of us."

  At long last, she relented, slipping out of her husband's hold and resting her forehead against Danny's chest. “Damn you. I want to hate you so much."

  Alex's heart tightened in her chest. She couldn't hear any more. Daniel would never learn to forgive himself if Mrs. Lincoln kept this up. Pushing herself to her feet, she took a step toward the kitchen when the front door opened and Brett entered the house. Glancing from her to the kitchen, he shook his head and approached her.

  "This isn't your fight, Alex. Danny needs to do this on his own or he'll never find peace."

  She threw a look toward the kitchen and bit the corner of her lip. “Look at him, Brett. He needs us,” she whispered. “I can't stand seeing him like this."

  Brett drew in a deep breath through his nose and pulled her into a hug. “It's not your fight, darlin',” he repeated while stroking her back. “He'll let us know if he needs us. I don't like this either, but it has to happen."

  Alex wanted to argue, to explain that Daniel was too sweet to endure this much pain when she paused. Whether she liked to admit it or not—and she didn't—Daniel needed to do this.

  "Brett,” she pleaded, her throat tightening, “Can't we do something?"

  Brett squeezed her hands and shook his head. “No, we can't.” He gestured to the couch. “Sit. Let Danny deal with this his way."

  Though she wanted to protest, Alex plunked onto the couch and kept her eyes fixed on the confrontation unfolding before her. When Brett laid his hand over hers, she entwined their fingers, needing the comfort only he could give her.

  "Brenda, there's no way you could hate me more than I hate myself,” Daniel declared in a shaky voice. “I can't eat and I can't sleep. Not a day goes by that I don't wish it had been me instead of them. I've even prayed for death, but it hasn't come. If you want to hate me, then so be it. I won't even beg for your forgiveness if you don't want me to. But before you and Michael leave, please know that the state of Texas couldn't possibly punish me more than I've punished myself."

  A flicker of emotion crossed Brenda's face while her husband closed his eyes. Alex threw a glance at Brett, silently pleading with him. Tears for Daniel, Allen and his family pooled in her eyes and all she wanted was to make it go away. She clenched her teeth, centering her attention on Brett's hand over hers.

  "We know.” Michael wrapped a protective arm around his wife. “Tell us what we don't know."

  "Brett,” Alex whimpered under her breath. “Please let me help. Look at him. This is hurting him."

  Brett shook his head, a pained expression crossing his face. “No. Jason would tell you to let him handle this and I'm doing the same."

  Daniel lowered his head and sunk into a chair. “At the time I really thought I could get us home okay. I was wrong and if I could go back in time, I would have insisted we called a cab or something.” He lifted his eyes to meet theirs. “I will gladly spend the next twenty years in prison if it means you won't hate me anymore."

  Tears spilled down Brenda's cheeks as she sunk into the chair beside her and grasped Daniel's hands. “I tried for a long time to hate you. I even tried to convince myself that you deserved to rot in prison for the rest of your life.” She inhaled a quivering breath and shook her head. “I couldn't bring myself to do it. I thought of Allen and how devastated he would have been had he lived and not you."

  When all Daniel could do was nod, Mr. Lincoln stepped forward to drop a hand on the young man's shoulder while stroking the back of his wife's hair with the other hand. “On the drive out here, Brenda and I did a lot of thinking. We came to a decision that might help all of us begin to heal."

  Alex sucked in a breath and gave Brett's hand a squeeze. This was the moment of truth and all she could do was pray that the Lincolns would find it within themselves to forgive him. She slid an apprehensive look in Brett's direction before returning her attention to Daniel.

  "What would that be?” Daniel asked in a hoarse voice.

  "We've come to the conclusion that while we hate what you did, we forgive you."

  "Allen would have wanted it that way,” Mrs. Lincoln added while releasing his hands and glancing up at her husband with a watery smile. “He would have insisted on it."

  Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, a quiet sob causing his shoulders to shake. “I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I wish I could take it all back."

  Alex turned her eyes away when she saw Mrs. Lincoln stand and put her arms around him in a reluctant hug. She couldn't bear to watch another minute of this. Though the meeting had been an all around success, it wrenched her heart to witness Daniel's breakdown.

  Brett wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her against him. “He'll be all right, sweetheart. The worst of it is over now."

  For Daniel's sake, she hoped he was right.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next three months flew by in a blur. Each day, Alex
found something new to work on when it came to her remodeling project. After her fourth trip into town, she realized the job was much larger than she'd anticipated. As much as she hated to admit it, she wouldn't be able to tackle the renovation herself. Carpentry was still a mystery to her and since none of the men would let her near the power tools until she had her degree, this left her with two options. One, get a couple of the boys to help her or two, hire outside help.

  "Absolutely not,” Jason declared while wiping the sweat from his forehead.

  The late October weather was stifling as Indian summer set in. San Eduardo hadn't seen rain in nearly a month and it was beginning to show. The once lush green grazing field had withered to a dull brown patch of grass that the horses found impossible to tolerate.

  Alex blew her sweaty bangs from her forehead and planted her hands on her waist. “Why not?” She shifted her weight to one foot. “With this drought, you can't spare any of the boys and you know as well as I do, I would only hire a DOC approved professional."

  Jason growled his frustration and set the branding iron in the hot embers before turning to face her. “The noise from the saws and hammers would spook the animals and it would make it impossible for me and Charlie to break in the horses.” He pointed at her with a gloved finger. “Don't you go behind my back on this either, Alexandra Nicole. Later this fall when things slow down a bit, we'll concentrate on tearing the barn down and getting it ready for construction in the spring."

  Later? It was already October. Even then, she was certain her uncle wouldn't allow her to help in demolishing the old barn. A pout threatened to surface until she saw the crooked grin on Steven's face.

  She shot him a warning glance. “Not one word.” She turned her attention to her uncle. “All right, fine. I guess I'll just have to settle for cleaning it out."

  A frown settled over Jason's face and he threw a glance to the faded red building on the outskirts of the property.

  "Isn't there anything else you can work on that isn't so dangerous? That old barn is an accident waiting to happen and I don't want any of y'all out there if it's at all possible,” he said.

  Actually, the barn was the biggest part of her project. However, his comment sparked her curiosity.

  "If the barn is so far out on the property, wouldn't it be safe to assume the noise from the workers would be kept to a minimum?” she drawled. “Besides, you were the one to say you were anxious to see what I would do to the barn."

  "She's got you there, Jason.” Steven grew solemn when Jason darted him a pointed look. “Sorry. I'll stay out of it."

  Jason turned his stare to Alex and set his jaw. “I am anxious. I also meant after the new one is done. You can decorate and paint it however you want ... come spring.” He cut her off when she opened her mouth to protest, “End of discussion.” With that, he picked up the branding iron and gestured for Steven to hold the colt still.

  Alex swallowed her frustration and started for the house. She shouldn't have been surprised. If something were to happen to her while she was in the barn, no one would be the wiser. Even still, she didn't see the harm in simply cleaning the building out. She could move some of the lighter tools and equipment to the tool shed. The only question was when? She couldn't very easily do it in the daytime where everyone could see her and she could never be certain when Brett was going to decide to make a late night visit to her room.

  She mounted the porch steps and opened the screen door, a fanciful smile tugging at her lips. Just the memory of Brett slipping into bed with her sent pleasant tingles coursing through her veins. She could still feel his hand sliding under the silky fabric of her nightshirt, up the side of her thigh, over her hip and then down to her—

  "Painting,” she breathed. “I need to finish painting.” Stepping inside the cool house, she fanned herself with her shirt. Thank God for central air.

  "Jason shot you down, didn't he?” Brett called from the kitchen.

  How had he known? She hadn't told Brett about her plan to tackle the barn. She stepped into the entryway and leaned against the doorframe.

  "How did you know I went to ask Uncle Jason something?"

  Brett glanced at her with a lopsided smile. Lord that man was adorable when he smiled like that. He arched an eyebrow to show his amusement before returning his attention to the cutting board.

  "I saw the determination in your stride when you went out there and then the pout in your stance when he told you no. What cinched it for me was the way you stalked back to the house."

  Alex's jaw slackened and she pushed off the frame before walking over to where he was standing. She pinched his arm.

  "Pouting was I?” She wiggled her fingers beneath his arm and he wrenched his body to the side in order to protect his ribs. “I'll show you pouting, cowboy."

  Brett set the knife down and gripped her wrists. “Not the ribs!” He pulled her hands away from his body. “I can stand to be tickled anywhere except there."

  A glimmer of mischief twinkled in her eyes. “Oh, really?” she purred. “Can I find out for myself?"

  Perhaps it wasn't fair to bait him like this, but she couldn't resist. The temptation to make him feel just one-tenth of the need she felt was too great to ignore.

  Releasing her wrists, Brett slid his hands up her arms until they reached her shoulders and drew her against him. He dipped his head to capture her mouth in a kiss, but at the last moment, she drew her head back.

  "Ah, yes. From sunrise to sunset you're off limits to me.” He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “The DOC will be happy to know their newest employee is playing by their rules."

  He dropped his hands and turned back to the cutting board. Alex frowned. This wasn't how she wanted her employment with Jason to go. Of course, she had to keep the fact she worked for the DOC in the back of her mind, but it shouldn't play as a big a roll as it did. Damn it. Jason was paying her, not the state of Texas! Then again, she had to remind herself that the state paid most of her uncle's expenses. Thus bringing her back to her original dilemma. She was under the control of the Texas Department of Corrections.

  "Three more months, Brett,” she murmured and started for the doorway.

  Might as well get a bit of painting in before lunch, she mused. She hadn't moved more than a few feet when he called to her. She turned to see a rueful expression reflecting in his eyes.

  "Jason cornered me this morning,” he admitted. “He knows I've been sneaking into your room at night."

  Her knees quivered and in order to keep from collapsing, she gripped the edge of the table. Oh God. Her head swam with dizzying thoughts with the most prominent being, why her uncle hadn't confronted her as well.

  She pulled out a chair and plunked into the seat. She could physically feel the color drain from her face while her stomach twisted into painful knots.

  "What did he say?"

  Brett shrugged. “He gave me an ultimatum. I either keep my hands to myself or he'll send me to Hutchins."

  Alex gasped her shock.

  "I can't go back, Alex. Not just to Hutchins, but to Dallas. You were right a few months ago. I turned down the parole board when I found out I would have to spend three years there."

  She'd suspected as much. As she listened to him pitifully try to explain himself, she shook her head. “No, I—I understand. I'm just a bit surprised Uncle Jason didn't confront me first. I am, after all, his employee."

  Okay, so she couldn't have any physical contact with Brett. It wasn't really the end of the world. There were ways of dealing with the sexual frustration she would undoubtedly face, but at least Brett would be safe from his nightmare.

  "He didn't come to me as your employer, nor did he approach me as the warden of this prison. He approached me as your uncle."

  She blinked at him in awe.

  "Can you blame him? He's in an awkward position. One of the men he's helped rehabilitate has not only fallen in love with his niece, but doesn't hide the fact that he's sleeping with her
. Let's face it. With the exception of when we were at the creek, we haven't been subtle."

  How was she going to act around her uncle now? She didn't think she had the courage to look him in the eyes now that he knew.

  "No, I suppose not,” she admitted and rose. “Do you want me to make supper tonight?"

  Brett shook his head. “Nah, that's all right. You go ahead and work on the upstairs,” he said with a small wink. “I'll know where to find you if I need help."

  "I won't be in the house come suppertime.” Painting the walls wasn't going to be enough to take her mind off not only what Brett had just told her, but the fact she was nearly a month overdue for her period.

  Stress, she deduced. She couldn't remember ever being under as much stress as she had in the last few months.

  Brett paused as he reached for the knife. “You're not going to disobey Jason because of this, are you?"

  That wasn't an entirely fair question to ask. She would have snuck out to clean the barn regardless of the information Brett had given her. However, the spoiled little girl in her couldn't deny the fact part of her determination stemmed from Jason confronting Brett.

  "Not at all,” she replied in a flippant tone. “The barn needs to be cleaned out before it's torn down. I'm just going to start cleaning it, that's all."

  Brett eyed her in uncertainty for a moment before shaking his head.

  "Well, keep it to mind there are mice in there and since the electricity doesn't work in the barn, you're going to need a lantern to see.” His eyes fell to her waistline. “Did you ever have your, um, you know?"

  She never should have admitted to being late. It was a given that Brett would assume the worst and though a small part of her was wondering if she was indeed pregnant, logic was telling her it was stress induced. She hadn't had a normal menstruation since she'd arrived at the Bar K.

  "My period?” When he nodded with a grimace, she continued, “Don't worry, cowboy. I'll let you know if you have to be concerned."

  I think.

  * * * *

  "You are going to break your fool neck up there,” Daniel called from the entrance of the barn.