Mending Scars

by Nikki Narvaez

  Did she really just say that?

  I hated that stupid saying. “Is that what they tell you to say to everyone? That’s such generic bullshit. I can be the first to tell you that it doesn’t. Time just allows scars to form over your wounds that you never forget.” I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed in frustration. I didn’t care if I looked like a bratty child.

  I hate therapists.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a smirk tilt Kamden’s lips. “Kaiya is an expert on wounds.”

  Dr. Lowell directed her attention to me. “It’s not just time that heals your wounds. It’s a combination of various things. Support from your loved ones is a big part of it, too. You being here with Kamden is an example of that. Believe or not, you are helping so much with his healing process just by being here.”

  I didn’t believe that, but then Kamden looked at me and gave me a small, but genuine smile. “She’s right, sorella. You’re the main reason that I’m doing this.”

  I stared into his eyes—those familiar, stormy eyes that had kept me from completely losing it when my demons tried to pull me under. Reaching out, I placed my hand on his thigh. “I’m going to be there for you, Kam, just like you were for me. No one else ever has been.”

  Silence settled over the room as Kam placed his hand over mine. After several seconds, Dr. Lowell broke it by saying, “The bond you two have is very strong. The love between you is apparent. I want to know more about how your relationship developed into what it is today. Tell me more about your family life when you were younger.”

  I stiffened apprehensively and tightened my grip on Kamden’s leg. My eyes widened as they locked on his, and his jaw tensed as he swallowed deeply and rubbed my hand.

  I darted my gaze to Dr. Lowell. “How is that relevant?”

  She held my stare. “No matter how much you hate your past and family, they’re still a part of what made you who you are today. The source of most issues stems back to a specific part of someone’s past. You need to face them in order to move on.”

  When neither one of us said anything, she directed her attention to Kamden and continued, “We’ve discussed your mother and brother extensively. Tell me more about your father.”

  Kamden stilled his hand over mine. “Our dad left shortly after Kaleb was committed. I think that broke the last thread he was tied to us by.”

  Dr. Lowell wrote on her notepad. “Was your father involved in your lives before that?”

  Kamden shook his head and tightened his grip on my hand. “He was there, but not really there, you know? My mom didn’t make life easy, and I can’t imagine what he had to deal with being married to her. I think it was too much for him.”

  Thinking about my father, or lack thereof, made me angry. I pulled my hand away from Kamden and crossed my arms over my chest again. I felt that my dad should’ve protected me from my mom and Kaleb, prevented any of what they’d done to me from ever happening. He was a complete failure as a father in my eyes.

  “Kaiya, do you have anything that you would like to add?” Dr. Lowell inquired.

  My eyes watered. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and avoided her gaze. I didn’t want to have another meltdown like when we talked about my mother, and typically anything involving my past triggered my outbursts. “I agree with what Kamden said—he described our father pretty accurately.”

  “How does that make you feel?”

  Damn it. This woman does not know when to quit. Fucking therapists.

  Giving in, I sighed. “Angry. I think so much could’ve been prevented had he been more involved.”

  “Do you think this had any effect on your relationship with Kamden?”

  I glanced at Kamden before meeting Dr. Lowell’s eyes. “No. I kept everything to myself before everything happened with Kaleb. Our relationship didn’t develop until after that.” Looking over at my brother, I smiled softly. “He’s kept me from falling apart ever since.”

  Kamden grinned and put his arm around my shoulders before pulling me into him. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me tightly. He whispered softly against my hair, “Thank you for not giving up on me, sorella.”

  Winding my arms around him, I returned his embrace. “I could never give up on you, Kam. Ever.”

  Dr. Lowell spoke, “The support you give one another will be what pulls you through. I have no doubt in my mind that you will overcome this. Both of you.”

  I’d always thought that, but deep down, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be enough to get Kamden through. I didn’t consider myself to be the best person to lean on because of how unstable I was, so hearing Dr. Lowell say what she had just said was very reassuring.

  I pulled away from Kamden and looked up at him.

  We can do this. We will do this.

  Ryker and I drove around one of the nicer, older neighborhoods in Cambridge, hoping to find a house to buy. We’d started looking the day after we found out about the baby, and a couple of weeks had passed without finding one that we really liked.

  “Oh my God, Ryker. Look at that house!” I gasped in excitement as I pointed out my window.

  Ryker slowed down and peered out toward where my finger was pointing. “Which one?”

  “The white one with the big trees. It has a for sale sign out front.”

  Ryker pulled over and parked right in front of the beautiful home. A Victorian style house complete with a wraparound porch sat on a nicely manicured lawn with two huge magnolia trees in the front.

  I stepped out of the car and stared in awe at the gorgeous home in front of me.

  It’s perfect.

  Ryker came and draped his arm over my shoulder. “You like it, Warrior?”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off the house. “I love it.”

  He chuckled as he led me to the For Sale sign on the yard. Taking out my phone, I keyed in the number and called the realtor listed.

  “Thank you for calling Cambridge Realty, this is Tanya, how may I help you?”

  “Hi, I’m calling about one of your properties for sale. I’d like to set up an appointment to see it.”

  Her voice brightened. “Great! What’s the address?”

  I looked at the number on the house. “9603 Briarwood Lane.”

  “Oh, I love that property. It just went on the market last week.” She paused for a few seconds. “I can show tomorrow at two. Will that work for you?”

  “Hold on a second, please.” I pulled the phone away from my ear and directed my attention to Ryker. “She can show us tomorrow at two.”

  He nodded. “Works for me.”

  I smiled and put the phone back to my ear. “We’ll take it.”

  “Great! I have you down. Let me get some information from you before we hang up. I also want to get your email to send you the detailed listing for the house so you can look over everything before the showing.”

  I gave Tanya all of my contact information and thanked her before hanging up. I looked at Ryker. “She’s going to send me the listing for the house tonight.”

  He reached out his hand toward me. “I bet it’s expensive. It’s a really nice place.”

  I took his outstretched hand, and he led me back to the car. “Yeah, I hope it’s in our price range.”

  He opened the car for me. “Me too, Warrior.”

  After he shut the door, I stared out the window at what I hoped would be our new home. It reminded of the home I used to dream of having when I was little, a safe haven where I wouldn’t have to deal with Kaleb or my mother.

  Maybe my dreams are finally coming true.

  A small smile formed over my lips as we drove away, and I couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come.

  Butterflies of excitement swarmed my stomach as we drove back to my dream house. I could barely contain my anticipation, fidgeting in my seat as I stared out the window.

  “Excited?” Ryker chuckled, patting my thigh affectionately.

  “You have no idea,” I responded, still not taking my eyes off the p
assing scenery in the neighborhood. The landscaping of every house was like out of a movie scene, with beautiful trees, colorful gardens, and perfect grass.

  I’d read over the listing several times last night before going to bed. The house was about fifteen thousand more than we had been pre-approved for through our lender, but we were hoping that the sellers would accept a counter offer.

  I practically jumped out of the car when we pulled up. I felt like I was about to bust out of my skin because of the excitement coursing through me.

  “Wait for me,” Ryker laughed as he shut the door to car. He reached for my hand and led me up the walkway toward the house.

  When we walked up the steps to the porch, I could see the front door open through the closed screen. A woman stood inside near the staircase to the second floor. She smiled broadly when she saw us. “Welcome!” She opened the screen door. “My name is Tanya. It’s so great to meet you. Please, come on in.”

  I fell more in love with the house when we stepped inside. Hardwood floors spread beneath our feet. A fireplace crackled in the living room to our right, and the dining room sat to our left.

  We introduced ourselves before Tanya started the tour. She gestured to the living room. “Let’s start in here.”

  As Tanya led us through the house, she explained every intricate detail, from the crown molding to the vaulted ceilings. The home had been built in the late 1800s, but the interior had been completely remodeled within the last few years.

  All of the bedrooms but the master were upstairs, along with a game room and two full bathrooms. In addition to the living room and dining room downstairs, there was also a half bathroom, a study, and the most amazing kitchen I’d ever seen. Perfect for us to build our life and start a family.

  Tanya showed us the backyard last. Another magnolia tree sat in the back corner of the spacious lawn. A large deck led down to a stone-tiled patio and pool area. I pictured our children running around playing as Ryker and I chased them. I was completely in love.

  Tanya turned toward us with a smile on her face. “So? What do you think?”

  I looked up at Ryker hopefully. His eyes searched mine and he held my hands in his. “What’s the verdict, Warrior?”

  I squeezed his hands. “I love it. This is the one I want.” I knew we should shop around and look at other houses, but my heart was set on this one. It was everything I’d ever dreamed of, and never thought I would have. This house was the setting of my happily ever after.

  Ryker grinned before directing his attention to Tanya. “Where do we sign?

  My joy faded when I remembered that we didn’t have enough to cover the estimated costs. I directed my attention to Tanya. “We were only approved for fifteen thousand less than the list price.”

  “That’s okay,” she smiled. She took out her Blackberry and used a stylus to tap the screen several times. “I can give the owners your offer, then call you and let you know their answer.”

  My happiness started to return, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. “That would be great.”

  We went back inside the house and Tanya walked us to the front door. She shook Ryker’s hand, then mine. “Thank you for coming. I’ll call you as soon as I hear from the seller.”

  “I hope they accept the offer.” I told Ryker as I fastened my seat belt when we got in the car.

  “Me too, babe.” He put the car in drive and made a U-turn. “We have to think positive.”

  My eyes ran over Ryker’s face as he drove and my lips spread widely. I was still in slight disbelief over everything that had happened since Ryker and I met—he had definitely turned my life upside-down, but I’d never been happier.

  The following Friday at work, I finally received a call from Tanya. I quickly swiped my phone off my desk and hurried to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Kaiya? Hi, this is Tanya with Cambridge Realty.”

  “Hi, Tanya, how are you?”

  “Good, thanks.” She paused. “I heard back from the seller.”

  I felt like I had jumping beans in my stomach from the anticipation that had been building within me over the past week. “Good news, I hope.”

  “Well, I have good news and bad news. The seller rejected your offer, but did propose a counter offer. They’re willing to drop the price five thousand, and cover the closing costs.”

  My heart sank into my stomach as I felt the sting of tears forming in my eyes. That was still ten thousand more than what we could afford.

  “We can’t afford that.” My voice was meek, the sadness evident in every syllable.

  “I’m sorry. Truly, I am. You and Ryker seem like great people.” Her tone was genuine and sympathetic—she’d probably hug me if we were talking in person.

  I took a deep breath to keep my tears at bay, not wanting to cry until I got off the phone. “Thank you. I really appreciate your time.”

  “No problem. Would you like me to look for other properties within your price range for you to consider?”

  No, I want that house.

  “Yes, please. That would be great.” I sniffled.

  “Great. I’ll compile a list and email you next week.”

  “Thank you.”

  The tears started flowing as soon as I hung up.

  I should have known things were too good to be true.

  After several minutes of sobbing, I grabbed a few tissues from the box on my desk and wiped my wet cheeks and snotty nose. I needed to calm down so I didn’t stress myself out more.

  It’s just a house. Your dream house, but still only a house. You’ll find another one. Hopefully.

  I was depressed for the remainder of the day, wearing a frown and slumping in my seat as a worked. I stayed in my office to eat my lunch, wanting to be alone. I’d done that a lot in the past before Ryker and I had met, but I’d been trying to be more social the past few months, so I ate in the break room.

  A couple of my coworkers popped in from time to time to get documents signed or drop off reports, and I had to force a smile so they wouldn’t pry. I couldn’t wait to get off and go home, although I dreaded having to tell Ryker the news—I didn’t want to relive the disappointment over again.

  My stomach was jumbled with thick knots when I walked in the door to our apartment. Ryker was sitting on the couch on his laptop, but closed it when he saw me. “Hey, baby. How was your day?”

  My voice trembled. “Not good.”

  Ryker set the laptop on the coffee table and stood up. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at work?”

  I shook my head as he approached, fighting tears. “No. Tanya called—the seller declined our offer.”

  Our eyes met. “I’m sorry, Warrior.” Ryker’s forehead creased, and his brows furrowed as he rubbed my arms.

  I sadly smiled at him. “It’s not your fault.”

  He wrapped me in his warm embrace. I buried my face in chest, unable to hold back the tears as I sobbed.

  Damn pregnancy hormones.

  After a few seconds, I pulled away and wiped my eyes. “I’m sorry. I think the baby is making me overemotional.”

  Ryker rubbed my back. “Don’t be sorry. I know you loved that house.”

  “I did,” I sniffled. “But there’s no reason to be crying over it. There are other houses out there.”

  “That’s true.” His mouth curved up to one side. “We’ll find one that’s right for us.”

  My heart still weighed down my stomach.

  But I want that one.

  “Yeah, you’re right.” I forced a smile before laying my head against his chest and hugging him tightly. “We will.”

  Ethan and I had been meeting weekly for lunch since the first time we’d met at the deli, and our relationship was slowly building back to how it used to be before our parents died—joking around, hanging out; normal shit brothers do.

  After a month or so, I’d finally decided that it was time to take the next step and meet Tristan. I still wasn’t comfortable seeing Molly, and I wasn’t s
ure that I ever would be. She’d caused the rift between my brother and me, and we’d lost many years because of it. If I never saw her again it would be too soon.

  We planned to catch a Red Sox game one Saturday. Ethan and I had never played baseball, but our dad had taken us to many games when we were kids, and Ethan wanted to continue the tradition with his own son.

  They were already waiting at the gate when I walked up to the stadium entrance. As I approached them, Ethan waved me down. “I got the tickets already,” he said when I reached him. He handed me one. “They’re pretty good seats.”

  “Awesome.” I looked at the ticket, then back up at Ethan. He picked up Tristan, who looked just like his dad when he was little.

  Tristan looked me up and down. “My daddy told me you’re his brother.”

  “Yep, that I am. Nice to meet you, little man.”

  “He says that you got mad at him, but now you’re friends again.”

  I raised an eyebrow at Ethan, who looked away. “Yeah, I think we’re friends again.”

  “Do you like hot dogs?” Tristan asked, changing the topic.

  I laughed. “Yeah, with lots of ketchup.”

  “Good, then we can be friends, too.” Tristan looked up at his dad. “Can we go inside now, Daddy?”

  Thank God for a five-year-old’s short attention span.

  We definitely didn’t need to be getting into the details of what had caused the problems between Ethan and me.

  Ethan lightly chuckled. “Sure, buddy.” He set Tristan down and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”

  I followed behind them as we entered the stadium. Our seats were in the middle section, facing the stretch between third base and home plate. When we sat down, Tristan sat himself between his dad and me. Ethan smiled as his son looked up at me and said, “Did you know they call this place the Green Monster?”

  A grin curved my lips. “Oh, yeah?”

  He kicked his feet as he looked out at the field. “Yeah. But there’s not really any monster. They just call it that because it’s big and green.”