Talk to Me (A Love Story in Any Language)

by Pat Simmons

“Oh.” I wasn’t surprised. She could be grounded from all the church auxiliaries for a long time until she matured in Christ. I probably needed a seat beside her.

  “Mackenzie, didn’t you hear me? He sat me down for three months.” Her nostrils flared. Her expression perplexed. “You’ll be the leader in the Deaf Ministry. Plus, you’ll be weighed down with all my duties as counseling interpreter, Deaf training, and recruitment. It will be ruthless with your schedule.”

  “Girl, I can handle that,” I spoke without thinking and Valerie frowned. “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t here for you. Nick was by your side, right? What does he say about all this?”

  The stress lines on her face relaxed. “He’s been in my corner ever since he proposed. C’mon, I’m ready to go. I can tell you all about Nick while we’re shopping. When pastor called me into his office, Nick accompanied me…”

  She didn’t hear me say, “Let me get my grab my purse and finish combing my hair.” When I reached the top of the stairs, she was still complaining. It was going to be a long day and I wished I had stayed in bed instead of agreed to go shopping with Valerie.

  When I came back downstairs, she was leaning against the door. Bypassing her to the kitchen, I cleared the table and deposited Valerie’s dirty glass in the sink. “While we’re out, I need to stop by Kmart to get some extra school supplies for my classroom,” I yelled. “I don’t want to wait until the last minute and the sales are gone.”

  “Sure, I want to bring you up to date on Noel anyway.”

  “Please don’t,” I said, groaning. “You’re supposed to be a recovering gossiper, remember?” Lord, I need another friend, I thought. Valerie drove and during the shopping spree, she talked about the virtues of Nick, and how God had him for her all along, and how Noel had almost tricked her.

  My head was spinning by the time we arrived at the mall. We shopped at Macy’s and Dillard’s before we made it to Kmart. I was in the school supply aisle when she mentioned Noel’s name.

  “Listen, Valerie, I can’t take it anymore. I hate to become your last friend standing, but you’re poisoning our friendship with this mess.”

  She confessed, “I really can’t help it, Mack. I think I’ve got diarrhea of the mouth.”

  “Valerie, you don’t need a prescription to buy Imodium AD—”

  “Mackenzie.”

  The voice was unmistakable. My heart pumped faster. I turned like a radio-controlled robot. Noel’s hazel eyes confirmed what I already knew, and this wasn’t a scene from a dream. Without moving, his cologne attacked me from a distance.

  Valerie poked me several times in my arm. “This is hard for me, Mackenzie, but I’m going to fight the temptation to eavesdrop, so I’ll see you in a minute, okay?”

  Maybe I nodded, but I never answered. Noel held my attention as he quietly stepped closer. Somehow, he was more handsome, buffer, and …oh my, he was wearing a beard. His black shirt and pants magnified his upgraded looks. This wasn’t a hallucination. “Noel,” I my lips moved.

  Mackenzie, can we talk?

  His confidence irked me. Didn’t an argument divide us? Didn’t time and distance widen our separation? Even though I had been back a week, I wasn’t ready for this encounter. It was too sudden for me. I hadn’t had a chance to rehearse my lines or build up my resistance.

  I still loved him, but he didn’t appreciate me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to pray. I thought about screaming, yelling, or punching him. My initial shock faded. How did you know I was here? I signed then crossed my arms. I didn’t blink as I started to construct my wall.

  “I saw you get out Valerie’s car as I was parking my car not far away. I didn’t recognize you at first because your hair is longer, but you’ll never lose your curls. God, Mackenzie, you are so beautiful. I wasn’t leaving Kmart until I found you.” He chuckled. “I should’ve figured you’d be in the supplies aisle.”

  I didn’t return his humor. I had enough drama with Valerie within the past three hours. I rejected my resistance’s weakened state. “Make an appointment, Noel,” I signed and walked away to find Valerie and go. The next time I came face-to-face with Mr. Romance, I wouldn’t be tongue-tied.

  ***

  That night, Noel didn’t return in my dreams and I barely slept. Tossing for the third time in less than a minute, I reached over and hit the clock before the alarm buzzed.

  The muscles in my stomach were running on a treadmill. My heart rate was climbing, and I was panting. During the night, my mind gave my body a workout. I had to shake off Noel’s sudden appearance.

  All week, I had looked forward to seeing my pastor and fellowshipping with the saints, but all the prayers, fasts, and Bible scriptures hadn’t prepared me for Noel. I still loved him, and seeing him without being with him would suck the life out of me. I was determined to stay away from close encounters with Noel.

  After pulling back the covers, I sat on the edge of the bed with my head bowed. I actually dreaded going to church. Noel called me beautiful, but how? I may have looked good on the outside, but on the inside, I was a wreck. Getting up, I went into the bathroom.

  When I returned to the bedroom, I got on my knees. “Lord, thank You for Your sacrifice for me, but right now, I feel my world is crazy.” The Lord stirred, controlling my mouth to speak unspoken requests. As His power exploded, my troubled spirit relaxed until I whispered, “Amen.”

  After a shower, I donned a very feminine dress, and slipped my toes into four-inch stacked heels. Wanting something different, I swept up a bunch of hair in the back, twisted and pinned it.

  My only makeup was a bronzer that Valerie had insisted I purchase while we were shopping. The effect was astounding. I blinked to authenticate it was me. Turning off the bathroom light, I grabbed my Bible and shoulder bag then headed to the kitchen.

  “Good morning, Daddy.”

  He lowered his newspaper and glanced up. “Good morning, princess. You look beautiful, just like the first day your mother smiled at me.”

  Smiling, I kissed the top of his head, remembering my childish request to be more like her when I grew up. “Thank you.”

  He lifted his I love Daddy mug to his lips. “I guess you’ll see that loser today.” He squeezed his lips. It had nothing to do with the taste of his coffee. “I can’t say I’m sorry about the two of you breaking off the engagement. It saved me a lot of money for a wedding I wasn’t too happy about anyway.”

  He squinted at the wall as if Noel’s picture was posted on it. “Every time I thought about how he led you on…” He snapped his mouth shut. “I better keep quiet, it’s Sunday, and I know God’s listening.”

  God’s listening all the time, I wanted to remind him. “I’m all right, Daddy. I’ve got this under control. I love him, but I can’t go through that hurt again. I’m going to church to praise the Lord.” Grinning, I saluted him.

  “Pray for your old man while you’re at it,” he stated before hiding behind his paper again.

  “Always, Daddy. Always.” Turning around, I opened the refrigerator door for juice and a bagel. After scanning the contents, I changed my mind and reached for a white-powdered doughnut and settled on a tall, large glass of water.

  Taking a seat, Daddy shared part of the Sunday’s St. Louis Post-Dispatch newspaper with me while we quietly ate our breakfast. When I finished, I gathered my dishes, rinsed them, and stacked them in the dishwasher. Kissing him again, I strolled out the kitchen.

  “I may come with you next Sunday, princess,” he yelled from his spot at the table.

  “I would like that.” I kept walking as the phone rang.

  Daddy shouted it was for me so I returned to the kitchen and took the cordless from his hand. “Hello? Praise the Lord, Pastor Coleman.” I smiled, hearing the familiar voice.

  “Welcome back home,” he replied.

  “It’s good to be back. I can’t wait to hear this morning’s sermon.” I clutched my Bible and winked at Daddy.

  Pastor Coleman chuckled. “Great. I’ll ask G
od to deliver one. Sister Mackenzie, please meet me in my office after service.”

  “Yes, sir,” I confirmed and disconnected. Great. My first day back at church, and already I have to interpret for one of Valerie’s counseling sessions. Either it was a pre-marital, or marriage session since Pastor Coleman only scheduled them on a Sunday.

  My heart raced. Our church had only a few Deaf members and none were married. That only meant one thing, an eligible person was about to wed, and it wasn’t me, or the Campbell sisters.

  CHAPTER 45

  The church’s parking lot swelled with cars. Somehow, I managed to seize an empty spot that was camouflaged between two SUVs. I got out of my car and inhaled the air as I walked, smiling at recognizable cars parked in predictable spots. Out of pure nosiness, I searched for Noel’s car in its usual row. It wasn’t there.

  I couldn’t decide if that pleased or disappointed me. As I continued to the door, I felt like Dorothy entering The Emerald City. My heart pounded with excitement, revering in the memories of praise and worship inside these church walls. I caught myself before I nearly tripped on Mother Velma Jones’ cane.

  “Chile, look a here. Welcome home,” she announced with open arms, discarding her walking aid. After a death grip hug, she released me and pointed to the ground. “Get that for me, will you Sister Norton?”

  Once I retrieved it, I positioned the cane to her liking. She eyeballed me from head to toe. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I missed home, too.”

  “Good, don’t make sense to let a young man run you away, any hoot.” She nodded, speaking her mind before resuming her wobble to the entrance as I escorted her.

  Senior Usher Howard Lane held the door open, waiting for us. “You’re lookin’ awfully jazzy this morning, Mother Jones,” he greeted.

  Blushing, she waved her cane, causing her to tilt to one side. We quickly steadied her. Once she was securely inside, he glanced at me and grinned. “Why, Sister Norton, is that you?”

  “Yes, Sir. How are you?” I smiled, entering the threshold.

  He gave me lengthy, hardy handshake. “As long as I can walk and talk, Sister Norton, I’ve got no complaints,” was his standard response.

  In the lobby, others stopped to kiss my cheek or wrap me in a hug. When the choir’s booming voices shook the display cabinets in the vestibule, I closed my eyes in thanksgiving. As I veered right to the hall that led to the sanctuary’s side entrance, I continued to wave.

  I still hadn’t practice what I would say to Noel when I saw him, but who cared? I was so overwhelmed with joy that nothing he said or did could spoil my exhilaration.

  Valerie approached me; her face was glowing. Her fingers were intertwined with Nick’s. Gone was the distraught woman who was at my house yesterday. Nick’s eyes lit.

  Grinning, he left Valerie’s side, hurrying toward me. Still a linebacker in size, he lifted me off my feet, causing one of my new shoes to dangle before it dropped to the floor.

  He lowered me to retrieve my shoe. As I tried to balance myself on Nick’s shoulder, Noel appeared and shoved Nick aside. “I got this, man.”

  Dazed, I held my breath as I stared into Noel’s wavy black hair instead of the glare from Nick’s bald one. After Noel completed the task, he leisurely stood, closing the cozy space between us.

  His body language dared me to blink, so I inhaled, breathing in his fresh scent mingled with the air. “Thank you,” I whispered, too scared to move and break the spell Noel had over me.

  As Noel nodded, backed away, and disappeared down the hall, my heart screamed, Wait! Okay, I’m ready to talk now. What was I supposed to do with the love I still harbored for this complex man?

  “Hey,” Valerie said, too cheerfully. She embraced me and whispered, “Don’t think I didn’t witness that, but my lips are sealed this time…I’m trying, Mack. Prayer does change things and Nick is showing me that. God had Nick before my eyes all this time and I never saw him.” She smiled. “God knows what we need.”

  ***

  Walking through the door of the sanctuary felt like the first time. I scanned the pews before locating my heart’s desired target. The Deaf section had increased and had become culturally diverse.

  Former student-in-training, Andrea White sat signing. When I captured some of her students’ interest, she glanced over her shoulder. Grinning, Andrea stood and greeted me with a welcome home hug.

  We separated as the choir befittingly began their rendition of Israel’s “Rejoice.” The Campbell sisters sprung from their seats and raced to me, signing for my undivided attention. I pulled them into a group hug.

  “I missed you, Sister Mackenzie,” Daphne signed.

  “I thought you were never coming back,” Keisha signed and then proudly showed off her missing front tooth.

  “I’m here just for you two.” I pinched Keisha’s nose. “Now, go back to your seats, so I can talk to you.”

  “Okay.” Obeying, they skipped their way to back to their places, which so happened to be cuddled between their parents and Noel—traitors. Shaking my head, I chuckled, some things never change.

  Briefly, I made eye contact with Noel. Although he watched me, his expression was unreadable, but I saw a glimmer of admiration, or maybe I was dreaming again. I blinked. A new face came into focus on the other side of Noel.

  Unfortunately, Valerie wasn’t exaggerating this time. The woman was downright gorgeous. Jealousy reared her ugly head even in church, but I had to forcibly rebuke that spirit. This was my church homecoming, not a showdown.

  Lord, I thank You for peace because You know the flesh would’ve been climbing over the pew by now, taking off my ear rings and deciding whom to smack first. That was the old Mackenzie before salvation. I didn’t even want God to hear that nonsense, although He was privy to it before I thought it.

  This scenario was simply a trial—spiritual versus carnal; love versus I sure don’t like him (since I shouldn’t say hate); and you broke my heart versus I’ll break your legs.

  I turned around, knelt at my chair, and prayed for thanksgiving and strength. Then I sat as the choir finished their selection. Pastor Coleman whispered in the director’s ear and the choir began their rendition of “Lord, Make Me Over.”

  I made eye contact with each person in the group as I lifted my hands. Slowly, my fingers brushed the air. Through facial expressions, I testified that I wanted the Lord to make me over. By the time the song ended, tears were streaming down my face. Andrea handed me a Kleenex, and continued signing while I composed myself.

  Emotions under control, my lids fluttered as I scanned the sanctuary, refusing to make contact with sanctified enemy—as if there was such a thing. A sudden eerie feeling draped my body as I sensed eyes securitizing me.

  My peripheral vision confirmed that heads were tilted in my direction. Although many were truly glad to see me, I wondered if even more wanted to see how a previously engaged sister from the church would respond to her ex-fiancé replacing her with, as Valerie stated, Noel’s own kind.

  Valerie’s eyes were glued to me, too. She may be holding her tongue, but Valerie wasn’t going to miss anything. Nick, whose head was bowed in prayer, had his arm securely wrapped around her shoulders. I missed that security with Noel.

  Dismissing the distractions, I bowed my head and rested my hands in my lap, waiting for the sermon to begin. “Press toward the Mark of the High Calling,” Pastor Coleman said as Mackenzie signed, “That’s not a request, but a direct order. God’s given you the equipment, now go for the touchdown. Shoving, forcing, pushing, elbowing, thrusting, rushing, and whatever it takes to score that touchdown, or for you ladies, to catch that early bird special. Philippians 3:14 says, ‘I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus’.”

  He shook his head. “You ever heard of anyone competing without a prize, church?” He looked from one side of the sanctuary to the other. “What’s your mark today? What prize are you trying to win? We’re n
ot talking about what you find in a Cracker Jack box. It’s bigger that, it’s worth more than the lottery.”

  Pastor Coleman paused and pointed to his Bible. “God’s calling you today, you, He wants you. This isn’t Uncle Sam calling. This is an Executive Order. It’s a private party and an invitation is required.”

  I continued to sign as Pastor Coleman preached until a take-no-prisoner tornado touched down and God’s commanding presence rushed throughout the congregation. Men rejoiced as I had never witnessed before—jumping, running, and shouting praises.

  Women cried as God stirred their bodies and removed burdens from their hearts. No one stayed rooted in the same spot, including Noel, who danced his way into the aisle.

  Through my blurred vision and hand clapping, I recognized Noel walking toward me until he invaded the perimeter of my personal space. His arm reached out and touched my face. “It’s okay, baby.”

  When he hugged me, I had no idea why I cried in his arms, at church, and in front of the woman who had replaced me.

  CHAPTER 46

  Even after I reclaimed my seat, I remained sedated from the warmth of his nestle as the Spirit continued to soar. Since I could no longer concentrate on the remainder of the service, I asked Angela to finish. I didn’t regain mental control until after the benediction and the congregation scattered out the sanctuary.

  Still perplexed about Noel’s actions earlier, and the way I responded, I felt numb as I gathered my purse and Bible and joined the exodus. I wanted to go home, but I had given the pastor my commitment.

  “What did Noel mean? Why did I have to fall apart in his presence? Why did he hug me, and why did I let him?” The questions were producing a brain freeze, without me nursing a Slurpee. And I didn’t think Tylenol, Excedrin, and Bayer could thwart a catastrophic headache.

  I detoured to the bathroom. After closing the door, I walked to the sink and steadied my belongings on the counter. Dabbing my face with chilled water, I prayed and relaxed, and my headache lessened. All I needed was to look a scary hot mess in church.