‘What The Hell Was I Thinking?!!’ - Confessions of the World’s Most Controversial Sex Symbol

by Jake Brown

  That September, I went to New York to do another appearance on Howard Stern, in the process blowing off some high-profile features gig in Spain, which of course, made Charlie livid at me. I was already feeling ill, and he had me booked on a flight with 6 layovers, so I didn’t feel too bad about it ultimately. Charlie really couldn’t say shit to me anyway at that point because he needed me so badly at Crème. I was the company’s only high-profile star, which allowed me to take advantage of loosening the leash with Charlie a little — especially on shit like that. He could yell at me till he was red in the face — like the Satan he was- over the loss of a commission, but he stood to lose a lot more money if I left his movie company, so I had him by the balls on that front. He kept working on my behalf ultimately because he couldn’t afford not to, and that fall, actually did his job for a change and got me something new: a deal with Erostar, a company that did molds of celebrity busts. It was a $10,000 payday for me, so I was excited as ever — until I found out Charlie got $2500 of that money right off the top, prick. When all was said and done I walked away with $5000 after taxes, and for the time it took, that was bullshit money. First, they put this mask of mold solution all over your face and skin — it’s like a free beauty treatment, but it covers my whole face, and I had to sit with it on for hours. They put a tube in my mouth to breathe, and my hair was pulled back in a cap, and my whole body was covered in this shit, my breasts, my vagina, my ass — everything they were molding. The toughest part was my face because you feel like your blacked out, your eyes are closed, but I was so freaked out after a few minutes that I got up and started walking around. One girl had to come and grab me and lead me back to sit down, or I’d have had to do the whole process over again. Anyway, after a while, they cut the mold — which is now a cast formed from an impression off my face — and they do it with this exacto-knife, a little at a time almost surgically. By the time they’d repeated that process in the more private areas of my body I spoke of above, I was embarrassed, and ready to leave. That might sound odd coming from me, but it was really involved — more like a doctor’s appointment than a porn shoot, where the focus isn’t entirely on you. Anyway, when the whole thing was said and done, it was really cool looking but weird, because it felt like real human flesh. That month, Earl and I also made the decision to tell John about our affair which we have been hiding from everyone. He took it okay, and really couldn’t say much at that point. Besides, he was much more focused on shooting the latest addition to my distinguished film library — Butt Sex. I had a dancing feature up in Oregon that month and Earl came up to see me, and I could tell he’d been drinking, which I guess looking back I should have seen the beginning of the end, but I was in love with him and wanted it to work. I was tiring of the movies at that point — or their titles at least. Things had just been more stylish and distinguished at Metro — from the titles to the box covers to the film sets to my co-stars. I was just ready for a change I knew wasn’t coming anytime soon.

  As October began, Earl and I were spending a lot of time with each other. He felt like the perfect guy. He had no problem with my career and what I was doing. He helped me out with my stuff. He fit the profile of everything I was looking for in a guy. My movie that month was titled Blow it Out Your Ass and as over the top as ever in terms of the hard core. I was even bored enough that I suggested this wild idea to John where we could insert this party-popper type thing into my ass. Right into the top of the butt and a cord went around to the front where you would have someone in the back, pumping fluid into it, and a streamer would come out! That’s how out of my mind with boredom I was at that point with the whole thing. I had a bunch of video store signings scheduled that month as well, in Houston, Dallas, and in each of those cities where I did signings I was getting huge draws. I had one in Northern California that was so big someone called the Fire Marshall, so I made a shit-pot of money that month. It was just easy, easy money — I would sign the box for the video, or an 8x10, and the store would pay me a $2000.00-aday rate, before Charlie’s cut of course, but it was still good money. One of my signings that month was with Kendra, who Crème was trying to promote on my coattails. She was nice enough; I just thought she was too much of a clone of me.

  Charlie Fry: Jasmin perceived Jenna as competition — rightfully so — and there was a real genuine tension there, sort of a ‘Don’t Rain on my Parade’ attitude. For instance, in Vegas when Jenna came to Jasmin’s show at the Sahara Hotel, Jasmin basically said, ‘I want her out of here.’ Exercising her power for me to do it, and here I am having an audience of hundreds of people and I’m dependant on her to entertain them, so I said ‘Fine,’ and had her escorted out. Jenna and Jasmin were pretty much equals at the time in terms of their notoriety, and if anything, Jasmin had more — she’d appeared more times on Howard Stern, had more press and brand name recognition. They were definitely not friends behind the scenes.

  At the time, this was a show I produced at the Sahara Hotel. Jenna was down the street at another, smaller hotel, and Jasmin’s showroom held around 900 people, and was PACKED, billed as ‘Starring Jasmin St. Claire, Hosted by Ron Jeremy,’ and Jasmin was the main headliner for sure. Jenna’s showroom by contrast held around 300 people and wasn’t full. Ours on the other hand was filled to capacity.

  Jasmin: It’s very true that by this point in my 2 year-old career, Jenna Jameson and I were really locking horns in the porn press — by her instigation at all times. I had climbed from a no-name to the front-page of our industry in so short a time that it was bound to catch eyes, only in Jenna’s case it was more like a jealous stare. Want an example, just look at the Vegas All Nude Review show at the Sahara Hotel back in November 1997. I was a star in it, along with Angel Hart & Gina La Marca, who was Penthouse Pet of the Year in 1996, and Ron Jeremy was hosting the with me. I had a billboard with my face on it on the Vegas Strip, and all of this happened to coincide with Howard Stern announcing on air that I had been his highest-rated guest, over and above Jenna or any other adult film star. So she had gotten pissed, showed up drunk, unannounced and uninvited to my revue, and started running her mouth. I hadn’t said a thing to her and my manager quickly shut her up by having her thrown out, but it was still embarrassing, and the adult film press had been there to record the whole event. So later that night I was out at another club, and she must have been stalking me, because she showed up there and began trying to start shit again. When the owner went to throw her out, she even blurted out to him, ‘What, do you think Jasmin has more power than I do?’ Then when he ignored her and again asked her to leave, she said,‘What, you wouldn’t fuck me?’To which he retorted ‘Lady, I wouldn’t fuck you with a dildo.’

  Charlie Fry: I would book her and Ron Jeremy at clubs together, so you had in essence the biggest male and female porn stars of the porn industry, so we’d just pack places with that combo. They worked well together in that regard, and packaging them together was a really big thing at that time.

  Ron Jeremy: I loved going to Vegas with Jasmin, I remember there being a GIANT billboard outside of the Sahara Hotel and Casino that said ‘Ron Jeremy and Jasmin St. Claire: The Ultimate Review.’There were two marquees: a big one that was right in front of the Sahara and one that actually attached to the Sahara on a wall, both saying the same thing.

  For a while there in the later 1990s, Jasmin and Jenna Jameson were neck-and-neck in popularity, and there was definitely a competitive rivalry. I remember when we were doing the Ultimate Review at the Sahara Hotel, we were sold out and they were doing at the Riviera, and in fairness to them, they were close to sold out too. I thought we had a better Review because we were doing it with comedy, personality, and dancing, where there’s was more just dancing. Ours was each girl dancing on her own working with a choreographer and making it the best possible dance. We had a Penthouse Pet named Leslie Glass, who later died of cancer, and later started her own organization called ‘Pets for Pets.’Anyway, so Jenna came by one night to check out the show, watch th
e rehearsal and the attitudes were flaring up a little bit. Jasmin was going, ‘I hate that girl,’ and Jenna was saying, ‘I hate that girl.’ And they both had done a lot of Stern, and it was a rivalry.

  Felicia, Jenna’s friend, was really getting mad at Charlie, Jasmin’s manager, for things he was saying about her ( Jenna) in the porn press, and so that night, she came in with Jenna, and started a scene, screaming at Charlie and Jasmin, more than Jenna was. Jenna was just in the background, letting them fight it out, and Jenna wanted an apology from Charlie because he’d embarrassed her in the media. He’d said something to the Las Vegas Journal about our show having Jasmin St. Claire, and Jenna’s show having ‘that other girl,’and Jenna thought that was a cheap-shot. So once Jenna and Charlie had yelled at each other, Felicia just started screaming!

  I remember very clearly, after the girls left, that I was trying to cheer Jasmin up because Felicia had started screaming at her. I sat her down, and she was saying ‘I can’t go on tonight, I’m all upset, I’m all upset. I’m pissed off.’ And I said ‘Jasmin, Jasmin, Jasmin, Jasmin! Relax.’ Once she calmed down enough to listen, and continued, explaining to her that ‘it’s all good. Relax. Rivalries are good for press; it’s a lot of fun. This is great press. I’ll put it on a lighter scale: Schwarzenegger and Stallone never had a problem with their rivalry, it only helped. Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinison used to have a severe feud and a war, which made headlines, and they loved it.They had insulting comments in the press to each other, and it was great, because it gave them both more publicity. What do you care about war, war is wonderful, and maybe a few months from now, or a year from now, you end this war with a nice sexy girl-girl scene.’ She didn’t exactly go for that, but got my broader point of trying to tell her, ‘Relax, it’s not a bad thing. This war is fun, and is making more headlines and making the shows in Vegas even more popular.’ She seemed to come around to that way of thinking a little.

  Jasmin: Near the end of the month, I was in Connecticut to do some features, and appeared on the Howard Stern Show (again,J) to promote something or another. It was becoming part of my job description by that point to go on Howard Stern and Jerry Springer, and one of the only parts I didn’t mind. It was my birthday that month — I turned 23, which was much nicer than my 22nd, mainly because I had Earl in my life. We went to Argyle for my birthday, and my gay make-up artist friend Sean came over and did my hair and make-up, and Earl gave me a diamond necklace as my present, it was just a beautiful day. By that point, we were staying over at each other’s places a lot, acting like a regular couple. November went by quietly that year, until my mom came out for Thanksgiving. She was meeting Earl for the first time, which was hilarious because he told her he repaired boats for a living. It was just an inside joke that kept he and I laughing to ourselves the whole time she was out, because she really was a prosecutor about it with him, I mean grilling him up and down on boat maintenance and repair. Thankfully, he chose that occupation because Earl actually owned a boat and was quite versed as an owner with its ins and outs (pardon the pun in context of our real profession.)

  I spent a large amount of December on the road, which was convenient because things had started to go a little sour between Earl and I, which led me in search of a variety of distractions — including Keith. I knew it was a mistake, but he’d been calling me again — A LOT — and I figured with my travel schedule it wouldn’t get too heavy. I literally spent the first 3 weeks of the month on the road. To give you an idea of what my life on the road was like in months like that, my signing and features itinerary read something like this: Sugar and Spice Adult Video Store, December 8; December 8-13 Pete’s Lounge, West Palm Beach, Florida. On the morning of December 13, I had to drive up to Fairville Mega Plex Video in Cape Canaveral, Florida for a signing. I was then home for two days, and then on December 17-20, had to fly back out for a feature at the Cat Walk in New Haven, Connecticut. Earl stayed back in L.A. filming this whole time, and I’d begun speaking to Keith more than I even was to Earl — officially my boyfriend at that point. I guess what started it was I stopped trusting Earl because he’d started drinking again, which he actually attempted to blame me for. That led me to be lonely on the road, which in turn led to my finally returning one of Keith’s many calls.

  When I was home, Earl was working every day, and he never made any time for me. When he wasn’t working, he was drunk flirting with crack whores openly on his set, at strip bars, or off tooling with his boat. He had stopped spending time with me, and the fucking hypocrite had become more and more hostile toward my profession, even though he did the same thing! He even got so possessive at one point he asked me to marry him! It was laughable given the state he and our relationship were in. Anyway, I decided to try and give things one last shot with him, so we agreed to go meet his parents and spend Christmas up in Montana.That trip definitely let me know where his alcoholism came from. Anyway, prior to leaving on that trip, I’d called Keith while Earl was out getting drunk and screwing around. I wasn’t necessarily trying to reconcile with Keith, but he did fuck my brains out, so that was a nice release from the vices Earl was trying to put on me. Shortly after that, Earl and I left for Montana to go spend the holidays with his family. He was raised by his father and grandmother. Both of who were sweethearts and very welcoming. He told them I was model, but he actually told his own father he was an adult film star!

  By that point, he’d started telling anyone who would listen, and that made me like him less. He didn’t stop to think for a minute how it would reflect on me either, as his girlfriend, but he never thought, so I guess I shouldn’t have been very surprised at all. Anyway, we went skiing at Red Lodge Resort in Montana while we were up there, and I’d been many times skiing before with Joe, but I had a horrid time on this trip because Earl was drunk the whole time. I don’t know how many of you have skied before, but it’s a challenging enough sport that being drunk doesn’t enhance performance at all — on the ski slope or in bed for that matter where Earl was concerned. Half the time we were on vacation, he couldn’t get it up at all, which just made me long for Keith on a physical level that much more. He was as cold to me as the weather that year; he even called me a ‘weak bitch’ at one point when I complained about the temperature. At this point, Earl was doing blow again too. We’d had a huge episode earlier in the month where he’d gone off somewhere and got drunk, then dragged me off to some chili dog place where he was saying awful things like ‘You are too skinny, why don’t you fucking eat, you anorexic whore?’ Just mean shit that, so much so that I was really getting scared because I’d never seen that side of him. He apologized the next day when he sobered up, which I accepted out of weakness, although I knew I never should have. It just let him feel okay about being abusive to me.

  When we got back from Montana, I was hoping New Years would be better, and it was at the very least my most interesting New Year’s

  170 what the hell was i thinking?!! Eve ever up to that point, because I spent it with none other than O.J. Simpson! Earl and I went to St. Marks — this beach spot near Venice, and I had somehow or another befriended O.J.’s new Nicole-look-alike girlfriend. They were looking for some blow, which of course, got Earl involved, and we ended up joining their party of 5 for the evening. I have to say, O.J. was the nicest guy. I know some people will hate me for saying so, but he was a complete gentleman, and people around us were giving looks. Some were mean, and others were gawkers more than anything else, but he was chill and knew how to handle it, which made all of us around him relax as well. I’d been recognized in public by that point, but I had no sense of a real ‘celebrity’ until I hung around O.J. I mean, he was almost notorious more than just famous. That would be the proper way to frame it, I thought he was very nice though, very charming.

  He was a very classy person. I think it is possible he didn’t do it, but we didn’t talk about the murder at all. His girlfriend, however, told me in the bathroom that she thought it was his son who had done it, and
that O.J. had taken the rap for him, which explained the D.N.A. similarities. She said he just wouldn’t talk about it.That was their rule, so we respected that. He knew who I was, which was kind of cool. Anyway, as the night rolled on, Earl got drunker and more coked up, and eventually O.J. invited us to come back on to his boat for kind of an after party, which of course, I was extremely psyched for. Earl quickly ruined that possibility by being so publicly intoxicated we couldn’t go anywhere but home. What sucked most about how I rang in the New Year was figuring out how I was going to get home with this guy all fucked up on drugs. It wasn’t like I could ask O.J. to give me a boat ride back to fucking Marina Del Rey. Believe it or not, I ended up WALKING the 20 minutes back home to my apartment by myself because Earl — like all men when they become drunken assholes — wouldn’t give me the keys to drive us both home. He was too macho, and kicked me out of his car before we even left the nightspot because I wouldn’t A) let him drive, and B) wouldn’t take him to the hood to buy more crack or whatever the fuck he was on. It was just a side I’d never seen before of him until that winter, and I made it my New Year’s resolution that I wouldn’t let the relationship continue in its present state, which was easier said than done. We were already so deep into things that I found it harder to break away from him than I’d thought it would be initially.