by Rose Impey
“Ooh, you don’t frighten me!” Kenny scoffed. She jumped onto Rosie’s bed, and next minute they were battling away whacking each other with their teddies, trying to knock each other’s bear out of their hand. I love teddy fights, because my bear Stanley, who’s as tough as old boots, always wins. Stanley was sitting on my pillow looking really left out, so I grabbed him and shoved him under Lyndz’s nose.
“Stanley’s challenging your bear to a fight to the death,” I said.
Lyndz groaned. “Do I have to? We always lose.”
“Come on, Lyndz!” I jumped onto Fliss’s bed. “You don’t want your teddy to be known as the wimp of Teddyland, do you?”
Lyndz grabbed her teddy, and climbed up onto Fliss’s bed. We started jumping up and down and whacking each other, while Fliss videoed us.
“Be quiet – please!” Fliss kept pleading from behind the camera, but it’s hard to be really quiet when you’re playing teddy fights. Anyway, we all know that we can be fairly noisy when we sleep over at Fliss’s, because her mum’s bedroom is right at the other end of a very long landing. In fact, we know exactly how much noise we can make before Mrs Sidebotham comes charging in to tell us off.
Kenny and Rosie were still fighting it out on the other bed, and Lyndz and I were battling away too. At first I let Lyndz get a few whacks at Stanley in, so she didn’t get too downhearted, but then I went in for the kill. Stanley headbutted her bear so hard that Lyndz went flying. She managed to stop herself on the edge of the bed, but she was wobbling so much she couldn’t get her balance. She wobbled and she teetered and she wobbled, and for a second or two she looked as if she was going to make it. It was touch and go, and it was so funny that even Kenny and Rosie stopped bashing each other’s bears to watch. But in the end the force of gravity was just too much for Lyndz. She went head-over-heels, and landed flat on the floor. Luckily the sleeping bags were piled up in a heap, so she didn’t hurt herself, or make too much noise.
“That was brilliant, Lyndz!” I laughed. “Just like a stuntwoman!”
“I loved the way you just wobbled around on the edge of the bed for about five minutes!” said Kenny. “It was so cool.”
Lyndz sat up, rubbing her behind.
“Thank goodness the sleeping bags were there, or I might have broken my leg!”
Rosie was looking thoughtful.
“Hey, you know what?” she said, and she sounded really excited. “I’ve just had a brilliant idea.”
And that was when things really started to go downhill…
Come on, let’s choose a film, and I’ll tell you the rest of the story on the way home. How about Mrs Doubtfire? I’ve seen it before, but I don’t mind seeing it again. I’ll just take it up to the counter, and get it checked out.
Right, let’s go – and make sure Nathan Wignall isn’t following us. I wouldn’t put anything past that little creep.
OK, we’re in the clear. And remember, you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone what I’m going to tell you now…
Well, Rosie had this brilliant idea which turned out to be totally non-brilliant, but we all loved it at the time.
“Look,” she said, “Why don’t we send that video of Lyndz to You’ve Been Framed?”
“What a totally cool idea!” Kenny said immediately. “The Sleepover Club on TV – excellent!”
“We could make loads of money too,” Rosie said breathlessly. “They pay for the best videos.”
“How much?” Lyndz asked, her eyes wide.
“About two hundred pounds,” Rosie said. “Or it might be more.”
“Two hundred quid!” Kenny gasped. “I’m in!”
“Before you start counting the money,” I said, “there’s just one thing you’ve forgotten. If we end up splashed all over the TV, our parents are going to find out we borrowed the camcorder without Mrs Sidebotham’s permission.”
We all looked at each other. Then Kenny shrugged. “So what? They’ll probably be so proud to see us on TV, they won’t care.”
“Or we can try to make sure our parents don’t see the programme,” Rosie chimed in.
“We can talk our way out of it somehow,” Kenny added. “Come on, Frankie, don’t be so boring.”
“Oh, all right,” I said. I didn’t need much persuading. I was dying to be on TV. It was one of my biggest ambitions.
“What about you, Lyndz?” Kenny said. “You’re the star, after all.”
Lyndz giggled.
“Let’s go for it,” she agreed, “What do you think, Fliss?”
It was then that we realised that Fliss hadn’t said anything for the last five minutes. She was red in the face, and looked completely miserable.
“What’s up with you?” I asked her. “You’ve got a face like a wet weekend.”
“We can’t send the video to You’ve Been Framed,” Fliss muttered.
“Why not?” we all said together.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Fliss said stiffly.
“Oh, come on, Fliss, don’t be a wimp all your life,” Kenny urged. “If it does get on TV, we can get round our parents, no problem.”
Fliss blushed. “It’s not that.”
“Well, what then?”
Fliss looked down at her feet. “I wasn’t – er – actually filming Lyndz when she fell off the bed,” she mumbled. “Sorry.”
“What?” We all stared at her.
“You mean you missed the sleepover stunt of the century?” I said. “So what were you doing? Filming Kenny and Rosie on the other bed?”
“Um. No,” said Fliss. “I was filming the teddy fights. Then I got bored…”
“So what were you filming then?” Rosie asked.
Fliss looked even more sheepish. “My cuddly toys on the windowsill.”
“Oh, great big fat hairy deal,” said Kenny in disgust. “So now we’ve got pathetic little cuddly toys in the middle of our radical sleepover vid.”
“Plus we’ve lost the chance to win loads of money,” I pointed out.
Lyndz shook her head sadly. “I really wanted to see myself somersaulting off the bed as well,” she said.
“I said I was sorry,” Fliss muttered miserably.
“Never mind, Fliss,” Rosie said quickly. “I’ve just thought of something.” She turned to Lyndz. “You could do it again, couldn’t you, Lyndz?”
“Do what again?” said Lyndz. I told you she was a bit slow on the uptake.
“Wobbling about on the edge of the bed, and somersaulting off it. You could do it again, couldn’t you?”
Lyndz looked doubtful.
“I dunno—”
“Course you can!” Rosie grabbed Lyndz’s arm, and hauled her onto Fliss’s bed. “That’s what we’ve got to do. Lyndz does the stunt again, and this time Fliss videos her!”
“Good idea!” Kenny slapped Rosie on the back. “Don’t you think that’s a good idea, Fliss?”
Fliss was suddenly looking a lot happier now that she was well and truly off the hook. “Yeah, good one. Come on then, Lyndz.”
Lyndz picked up her teddy bear.
“OK, I’ll give it a go.” Then she frowned. “Isn’t it cheating though?”
“No, course not,” Kenny said. “I mean, it’s not like you didn’t do it at all, is it?”
“And anyway,” I said, “I swear some of those videos on the telly are set-ups.”
“Well, all right,” said Lyndz, and she climbed onto Fliss’s bed. “Come on, then, Frankie.”
I grabbed Stanley, and Rosie and Kenny sat down on the other bed to watch.
“I can’t remember what we did first,” said Lyndz. “I think I got in a few whacks at Stanley.”
“And then I landed the killer thwack,” I said. “That was the one that sent you off the bed. Ready, Fliss?”
“Ready,” Fliss called back.
Lyndz and I began whacking each other’s teddy bears again, like we’d done the first time. But it wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be to do the stun
t again. The trouble was, Lyndz was watching me like a hawk, waiting for the big THWACK! So I held off for a bit, then I swung Stanley at her teddy when she wasn’t expecting it. Instead of falling spectacularly off the bed, though, Lyndz just sat down – plonk – on the duvet.
“Well, that was hilarious,” Kenny said sarcastically.
“This is more difficult than it looks, smarty-pants,” I said.
“I told you I couldn’t do it,” Lyndz wailed.
“Try again,” Fliss said.
Lyndz and I had a few more tries, but it was no good. Lyndz was just too nervous. I managed to knock her off the bed a few times, but there was nothing like the wobbling and somersaulting which had happened the first time. Lyndz was just too scared of hurting herself to try and do that again.
“This is hopeless,” I said, after the sixth attempt. “Let’s forget it.”
“Sorry,” Lyndz said, biting her lip.
“Let me and Rosie have a go.” Kenny stood up. “I bet we can do it.”
“But that’s cheating,” Lyndz said. “You didn’t do it the first time.”
“So what?” Kenny shrugged. “We want to get on the TV, don’t we?”
“Yeah, but what about me and Lyndz?” I said.
“What about me and Rosie?” Kenny challenged me.
“Well, what about Fliss?” Lyndz chimed in. “She’s stuck behind the camera.”
We all looked at each other. It was becoming very obvious that, if we were going to send a Sleepover Club video to You’ve Been Framed, we all wanted to be in it.
“So that means we’re all going to have to get into the video somehow,” said Kenny.
“What, you mean we’re all going to have a teddy fight and somersault off the bed at exactly the same time?” I asked sarcastically.
“Ha funny ha,” said Kenny. “No, we’ll do something else. Something screamingly funny, that we can all be in.”
“Except the person who’s doing the filming,” said Fliss sulkily.
We all rolled our eyes at that.
“Hang on for just one tiny little second, Felicity Sidebotham,” I said. “You said nobody was going to do any filming except you.”
“I know,” Fliss muttered. “But that was before I knew we were going to be on TV.”
“Well, someone’s got to work the camcorder,” said Kenny. “If it’s not Fliss, who’s going to do it?”
We all looked down at our feet.
“Oh, go on,” said Lyndz. “I’ll do it. I don’t mind.”
Fliss looked relieved.
“Thanks, Lyndz. Come over here, and I’ll show you how it works. It’s dead easy.”
“What are we going to do then?” Kenny said to me and Rosie, while Fliss and Lyndz were bent over the camcorder. “It’s got to be funny to get on TV.”
“They seem to like people falling over,” said Rosie.
“And stunts with pets in,” I said.
“Right,” said Kenny. “Anyone fancy balancing Fliss’s goldfish on their nose and then falling down the stairs?”
The three of us giggled.
“Whatever it is, it’s got to be good,” I said. “You’ve Been Framed must get loads of tapes.”
“We could pretend we’re sleepwalking,” Rosie suggested. “Then we could do all sorts of daft things.”
“What, four of us sleepwalking at the same time?” I said doubtfully. “I don’t think that’ll work.”
Kenny’s eyes lit up. “Wait a minute, I’ve got an excellent idea.”
“What?” Rosie and I said together.
Kenny winked at us. “You’ll have to wait and see. First I’ve got to try and persuade Fliss to let us go downstairs. There isn’t enough room to do it here.”
“No chance,” Rosie said immediately.
“You obviously haven’t seen Kenny sweet-talk anyone before,” I muttered in Rosie’s ear.
“Fliss, I’ve got a brilliant idea for our You’ve Been Framed video,” Kenny said with a beaming smile.
Fliss raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”
Kenny nodded. “Yep, it’s so brilliant, it’s sure to get on TV.”
Fliss began to look interested. “What is it?”
“Tell you in a minute,” said Kenny. “The thing is, there’s no room to do it in here. We need to go downstairs.”
Fliss looked as though Kenny had asked her to cut her arm off.
“Are you crazy?” she spluttered. “We can’t do that! What if my mum hears us?”
“She won’t,” Kenny said firmly. “Everyone’s going to be really quiet.”
“No!” Fliss hissed.
“We’ll be as quiet as mice—”
“NO!”
“Oh, well, that’s a shame.” Kenny shrugged her shoulders. “Especially as you would’ve been the star.”
Fliss’s eyes widened.
“What?”
“Oh, didn’t I say?” Kenny remarked innocently. “You were going to be the star of my idea. Still, never mind.”
Fliss frowned. “Well, I suppose we could,” she said slowly. “As long as everyone is really quiet…”
“Course we’ll be quiet!” Kenny raced eagerly over to the bedroom door. “Come on then, let’s go. Lyndz, are you sure you don’t mind not being in the video?”
“Course I don’t,” Lyndz said cheerfully. She picked up the camcorder, and put it up to her eye. “Doing the filming is just as good.”
“Come on then,” said Kenny. “Let’s go downstairs.”
“And be quiet,” Fliss added nervously.
We all tiptoed over to the door, our hearts thumping. Kenny turned the handle and pulled it open, and we all crept out one by one…
Look, we’re not far from my house now, and I’ve still got the worst bit to tell you. We’d better stop along the way, ’cos I can’t tell you what comes next if there’s even a sniff of a parent around. Come on, let’s sit down on this wall for a while.
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, I’d just got to the bit where we were all creeping down the stairs, one behind the other. We didn’t dare put the light on, so we were shuffling slowly along, trying not to trip over anything. I was in front, and Fliss was behind me, and then the others were behind her. I’m sort of like the Sleepover Club scout – I always get sent on ahead to sniff out the dangers. The others must think I’m dead brave. Or maybe I’m just the only one stupid enough to do it…
“Lyndz?” I heard Fliss whisper behind me. Then, “Ow! Kenny, you dweeb, you walked right into me!”
“Well, don’t just stop like that!” I heard Kenny grumbling. “I can’t see a thing in the dark.”
“I just wanted to ask Lyndz if the camcorder’s OK,” Fliss whispered.
“What?” That was Lyndz. She was at the end of the line with the camera. “I can’t hear you!”
I rolled my eyes. This was getting ridiculous. “Kenny, Fliss wants to ask Lyndz if the camcorder’s OK. Pass it on.”
Kenny turned round, and whispered.
“Rosie, Fliss wants to know if the camcorder’s OK. Pass it on.”
We all stood and waited for Rosie to whisper to Lyndz. A few seconds later an answer came back from Kenny.
“The camcorder’s fine. It’s just got a bit of a headache, that’s all.”
“Oh, very funny,” Fliss said under her breath. The rest of us began to giggle as silently as we could.
“Well, honestly, Fliss,” said Kenny. “Keep cool, can’t you? It’s only a machine, not a person.”
“Can we please get a move on?” I hissed. “If Fliss’s mum hears us, we’re history.”
We carried on shuffling down the stairs, and then we groped our way across the hall and into the living room. I counted in four shadowy figures, and then I closed the door as silently as I could. We waited, holding our breath and listening hard, but no one came. So I flipped the light switch on.
“Let me see the camcorder, Lyndz.” Straightaway Fliss rushed over and grabbed the camcorder.
“It�
�s fine,” said Lyndz. “Did you think I’d taken a bite out of it on the way downstairs, or something?”
“I just want to be sure,” said Fliss. You can see why we call her Fusspot.
“Your mum’s got loads of stuff, Fliss,” said Rosie. She was standing behind the sofa, looking at a china lady in a green dress, which stood on a small table.
“Don’t touch anything,” Fliss said nervously. “My mum’ll get in a real razz if anything gets broken. Some of these things cost a lot of money.”
We all looked round the living room. I think I’ve told you about it before, haven’t I? It’s like every other room in Fliss’s house, all neat and clean and cream-coloured. And there are hundreds and hundreds of ornaments everywhere, things like china ladies wearing old-fashioned costumes, toby jugs and big glass bowls. There are so many things in it, you’re almost frightened to move, in case you accidentally knock something over. Fliss is always going on about how much her mum’s stuff cost, but some of it looked pretty nasty to me, although I was too polite to say so. That china lady in the green dress that Rosie was looking at, for instance, was gross.
“Let’s get started,” said Lyndz with an enormous yawn. “I’m going to fall asleep soon if we don’t.”
“Come on then, Kenny.” I looked at her. “What’s this super-cool plan of yours to get us on You’ve Been Framed then?”
Kenny grinned.
“A Human Pyramid,” she said.
We all looked at each other.
“Excuse me?” I said. “I thought you said a Human Pyramid.”
“I did.”
“What, you mean when people stand on each other’s shoulders?” Rosie asked.
“I’ve seen that on the telly,” said Lyndz. “Only the people at the bottom were riding about on motorbikes, with the others standing on top of them.”
Fliss was looking a bit sick. “Do you think that’s going to work, Kenny?”
“Just a minute, give me a chance to explain,” Kenny said confidently. “We won’t be able to do it exactly right—”
“You’re telling me,” I remarked. “It’s going to be a pretty sad human pyramid with only four of us.”
“I know that,” Kenny said. “I suppose I was thinking more of a Human Tower.”