Down the Hidden Path

by Heather Burch

  “Because you’re always so ready for me to fail. Look, I didn’t think he’d want to go.”

  She took a step toward him. “Well, he did. And even if he hadn’t wanted to fish, Miah, this was your bonding guy time and you completely alienated him. You treated him like an outsider, like he didn’t belong. He’s your son.”

  All of it, all the feelings David must have experienced were running like wild horses through Miah’s mind and she could see the horror. He hadn’t meant for it to happen like this; of course he hadn’t. But it still had. They’d worked so hard to build a firm foundation for Miah to crush it all due to carelessness. He gripped her arms. “I have to fix this. Where is he?”

  “He’s upstairs. But I don’t think he’s going to be very excited about talking to you. He’s embarrassed now.”

  “I have to try.” Miah ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Gray. The parenting thing is still new. Please don’t give up on me.” He walked through the doorway that would lead him past the living room and up the stairs.

  She stopped him halfway there. “Miah, you know how you’ve been wondering what he and Stacey were doing all the time?”

  “Yeah?”

  “She was teaching him how to fish.”

  His face crumbled into a deep frown, lines around his mouth tilting down. It was so painful to look at, Gray focused on the wall beside him as he turned and rushed up the stairs. Don’t give up on me, he’d requested. She didn’t want to. But trusting him proved dangerous, for both her and David. And Gray had spent so many years alone, it seemed best to back away and not mess up her perfect record.

  He found David on his bed, lying on his stomach reading a book. “Can I come in?”

  David angled to look at him, but his face was stoic, the only signs of his hurt the red rims around his eyes. “If you want.”

  The bed sank as Miah perched himself on the edge of it. “I really screwed up today.”

  “No big deal.” Too disconnected. Too detached.

  He started to put a hand on David’s shoulder, but opted not to. It hovered there until Miah finally dropped it back to his side. “It’s a really big deal to me, David. I should have asked if you wanted to go.”

  “You didn’t want me to go. Like I said, it’s no big deal.”

  Miah’s chest tightened. “No, that wasn’t it. I didn’t think you’d want to and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to.”

  “Had to what? Spend the day with my dad on a boat? Yeah, every kid hates that.” There was sarcasm in his tone, just enough to almost mask the pain. Beside his bed, a stuffed Ninja Turtle sat at the ready, bo staff in his hands.

  “I’m sorry. I should have asked you.”

  David whirled on him and threw the book at the wall. “No. You should have told me to go. You’re my dad, right? Aren’t we supposed to do things like go fishing together? Or is that only when your brothers aren’t around? Is that when I’m important to you?”

  “You’re the most important thing to me in the whole world.” Miah had to fist his hands to keep from grabbing him and holding him. And though that might make him feel better, he knew it wouldn’t help David yet.

  David started to get up, but Miah caught him. Hands clamped on his arms, he pleaded. “David, listen to me. I thought you hated fishing. I didn’t know. I was trying to . . . I don’t know, I was trying to handle the situation the way I thought Bill and Angela would.”

  The tiniest spark of understanding flickered in David’s eyes and Miah took it as a sign to plunge forward. “I feel so bad for not being everything you need.”

  David frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m a pretty simple kind of guy, David. I wouldn’t know a museum from an art gallery. I wouldn’t have a clue how to act at the symphony and I don’t own a suit. Your parents gave you so many things I can never give you. I’ve felt like I’ve been pushing you to be something you’re not.”

  David chewed the inside of his cheek.

  “And the fishing . . . you didn’t like it the time I took you.”

  Anger settled back over his features. “Just because I wasn’t good at it doesn’t mean I don’t want to try.”

  If there were any remaining pieces of Miah’s heart that weren’t shattered, those words completed the task. Miah nodded, kneaded his son’s shoulders. “I know. I know that now.”

  David picked at his fingernail, head down. “I like the stuff we do here.” It was an olive branch, and Miah gladly took it.

  “Can we go fishing?” Miah said, his throat tight.

  David frowned. “When?”

  Miah shrugged. “Right now.”

  “But you just got back.”

  Miah stood. “So? Come on, there’s still gas in the boat and plenty of daylight left.”

  David stood up, too, slowly, testing the idea. “Will your brothers want to go again?”

  Miah winked. “They’re not invited. Come on.” He pulled a heavy jacket from the closet and helped David shrug into it. Within a few minutes, they were downstairs and headed for the back door.

  Caleb stopped them. “What are you doing? We’ve got fish to clean.”

  Miah pulled from the grip Caleb had on him. “Clean ’em. David and I are taking the boat back out.” The warning look he gave Caleb stalled the conversation.

  “Okay. Leave us all the work.”

  “We’ll be back in a couple hours.” As he left the house, his gaze landed on Gray. She didn’t look angry. But she also didn’t look happy. Distant. With her head tipped back and her stance squared. David had forgiven him, but he had to wonder if Gray would be able to. David was the only thing that mattered to her. Miah’d made a monumental mistake in assuming David wouldn’t want to go. How many more mistakes could he make before Gray shut him out? She could do that. She had once before. Completely shut him out of her life. He couldn’t blame her for being skittish, but he wouldn’t let her run away. Not ever again.

  Gray kept a cool distance from Jeremiah for the next few days. Caleb refused to do his therapy while his brothers were there, so Gray had been scarce around the house, only stopping by to help David with homework or to drop him off after school. Miah was giving her free rein with David—that’s how it needed to be. She was amazing with him, and, without her, Miah would be utterly lost. He wouldn’t make another stupid mistake like the fishing again. Watching Gray with David was so rewarding, he’d begun to really understand the depths and levels of a parent’s love. Her love. Back when he’d learned he had a son, his intention had been to make her suffer. That had gone desperately wrong and somehow desperately right. But now, Gray had backed away. Not from David, but certainly from Miah. On the outside, she seemed cool, calm, detached from him, but he knew her. Knew her secrets and her fears. And he was determined to fix it. She was spooked.

  His brothers had left the day before and today would be yet another first and another new parent adventure. It was the day of the banquet—the big fund-raiser he’d volunteered for—and David had insisted he and his dad go to Laver to shop. They parked the truck and were passing boutique store windows decorated for spring.

  “Do I really need a suit for this thing?” He thought of the tight neck, constricted arms. A shiver ran the length of his body.

  David just grinned at him. “Okay, we’re here. Now, the people inside are really nice, but don’t spill chocolate milk on that rug in the center of the room or their smiles sort of morph into the Joker’s while they clean it up.”

  Miah ran his sweaty hands over his pants. They had no chocolate milk. “How do you know all this?”

  David shrugged. “I used to come here with my dad. He was always getting new suits or shirts or ties.”

  Miah groaned. “Will I have to wear a tie, too?”

  David thought a moment. “Probably.”

  As David grabbed him by
the wrist and dragged him toward his unfair destiny, a little piece of Miah’s heart erupted. David was in his element doing this. And that was a beautiful thing. Miah had expected him to try dozens of new things, and he’d done it like the champ he was. This was poetic justice. And in a way, having David telling him what to do and all the excitement rising from the boy was, well, it was pretty great. But a thought brought him to an abrupt stop at the men’s haberdashery door. “David, what kind of fund-raiser is this?”

  His laugh was high, happy, and a bit sadistic.

  David sank his hands in his pockets and looked Jeremiah up and down. The two scarecrow women—that’s what David liked to call them because they were skinny as bones—stood just behind David, eyes inspecting their work.

  Miah tested the shoulders by lifting his arms and bringing his elbows together. “These are more comfortable than I expected.”

  The redheaded scarecrow grinned. David decided she always looked like the Joker. “They’re cut for men with wider shoulders and muscular arms and chests. Is the neck too tight?”

  Miah stuck his index finger beneath the collar and tugged. “No. I think it’s good. Time to settle up, I guess.”

  The older woman motioned to the younger saleslady. “Rose, why don’t you show David the new books we stocked in the kids’ corner? I’ll take Mr. McKinley to the register.”

  David followed the Joker, even though he’d already seen the books. When a man entered and asked about designer suits, the Joker got right to work, so David decided to head back and find Jeremiah. He stopped just short of the register behind a tall shoe display when he heard his name.

  It was the older scarecrow, and she’d always been nice to David and interested in the manga books he’d bring along, fascinated by the fact that they were read from back cover to front. She spoke in a hushed tone. “We were all so sorry to hear about Bill and Angela. Heartbroken for David.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “We’re very fond of him. We’ve watched him grow up.” David heard her clicking away on the register.

  “He’s an incredible kid. I’m . . . I’m really lucky to have him.”

  There were a few seconds of silence while David dissected those words. Did Jeremiah feel lucky? David had thought maybe he was just a burden to him.

  Jeremiah continued. “He’s so brave.”

  David pressed his lips together. Jeremiah thought he was brave. Even though Miah’d seen him after nightmares and even though he slept with a Ninja Turtle and the nightlight on.

  The scarecrow spoke, her voice soft. “We were surprised he wanted to bring you here.”

  Jeremiah released a long breath. “I know. It has to be hard on him, but he’s the bravest young man I’ve ever known, and, ma’am, that’s saying something.”

  It wasn’t hard until now. David brushed at his face. His eyes had watered a little bit.

  Scarecrow spoke. “Oh, yes, David told me you were in the military. Well, we always give a military discount, but Mr. McKinley, if you wouldn’t be offended, we’d like to do a little better than that.”

  “Offended, no.”

  “Well,” she said, but seemed to be gathering her professionalism. “Today, everything is half off.”

  Wow. They’d never given his dad a discount like that.

  And then she added, “For David.”

  And the discount was because of him. That was kind of cool. He figured he could join them now, so he popped out from behind the shoes as if he’d just walked back. Oh yeah, he could totally be a ninja. “All set?” David smiled big and hoped they didn’t notice he’d cried a couple tears a minute ago.

  “Just have to change back into my street clothes.”

  David lifted Miah’s wrist and tapped his watch. “No time, Cinderella. We gotta get you to the castle.”

  “Yes, sir.” Miah thanked the scarecrow for the suit and they rushed to the truck.

  It was a nice evening with a fresh layer of snow that MoDOT had moved to the edges of the road. This day was different than any other day they’d spent together so far, and Miah’s heart was bursting with happiness. David had gotten to take the reins. Miah glanced over. “Hey, champ.”

  David’s hair flew as he looked over. “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for this.”

  A grin that held more pride than happiness spread on David’s face.

  Miah tapped the steering wheel. “Maybe one day you could show me around a museum?”

  David’s gaze left him and focused on the road. “Okay. Yeah. I’d like to do that.”

  Miah reached over and gave his leg a squeeze.

  David yelped.

  Miah removed his hand until he realized what the reaction meant. “You ticklish?” Instantly, he reached over again and clamped his fingers around David’s knee. The boy jolted, foot flying out and hitting the underside of the glove box. His laugh was hearty and the best thing Miah had ever heard. Finally, Miah relented.

  Yes, things were great with him and his son. Gray, on the other hand, had stayed resistant to Miah since the fishing trip. She was scared. Scared to death, that much was obvious, but he didn’t fully understand why. After all, they were both going to be in David’s life for the duration.

  “Give me your phone. I’ll tell Gray to be ready when we get to her house.” David barked orders like a drill sergeant. Guess his McKinley side was starting to shine through.

  He listened as David argued with his mother. “No. You can’t just meet us there . . . Because.” He paused and rolled his eyes. “Gray. We’re coming to pick you up. Be ready.” And he hit the disconnect button.

  “Does she know about the dress code?”

  “She went shopping yesterday.” When Miah started to ask another question, David reached to the stereo, found a hip-hop station, and cranked it loud.

  Jeremiah’s mind completely stalled when he put the truck in park and watched Gray step out of her house. A coat covered her torso, but a deep green dress peeked from beneath. It landed midcalf and had a slit in the front that highlighted her gorgeous legs when she moved. Even with the coat, she looked incredible.

  Before Gray could get in, David hopped out, and motioned for her to slide into the middle beside Jeremiah. She gave him a quick glare and pointed to the snug skirt. “You gotta be kidding.”

  With a huff and an eye roll, she shimmied into the truck. And Miah enjoyed watching her.

  The middle school was only a few miles away, but the silence was deafening. Finally, Gray spoke. “David, please tell us about this fund-raiser. I know it’s a banquet. Are Jeremiah and I serving dinner at the banquet?”

  “Nope.” He busied himself playing with the window button.

  “So, what are we going to be doing tonight? You’ve been secretive about it and I think it’s time we know what to expect.”

  David glanced over, thoughtful, careful. “I got people to pledge money. They can either make a donation or pay outright for a dance.”

  “A dance?” Gray repeated.

  He shrugged. “Yes. That’s why Stacey needed you to be her pledge. Her mom and dad are still married and who wants to dance with an old married woman?”

  Miah found it the slightest bit amusing. Gray, not so. She went from a shade of red to a deep sickly green. “Are you telling me you went around town selling dances with me?”

  “You signed up.”

  “David.”

  There was the mom voice. Miah bit back a smile. What was the big deal? So, the middle school was renting them out for the evening. All for a good cause.

  Gray shook her head. “No. You . . . should have told us.”

  “Mom!”

  The one word caused Gray’s heart to melt a little, it was obvious. To Miah’s knowledge, he’d never called her Mom before this moment. She drew a breath, shoulders rising, and practically beame
d. Joy spread across her features, making her look even more beautiful.

  David raised an upturned hand in explanation. “This is a great way to make money for the basketball team. They need new equipment, and you know how River Rock is all about the science. Well, the jocks have to suffer for it.”

  Miah leaned closer to her. “You don’t want the jocks to suffer, do you?”

  She stiffened beside Miah. “You’re telling me other people signed up for this? Willingly?”

  “Yeah. No big deal.”

  Though Miah was having fun watching her squirm, he opted to be the voice of reason. “I suppose it wouldn’t seem like such a bad thing if we’d known ahead.”

  David continued on, his political voice in full force. “Every student participating had to find a single relative or neighbor to be their pledge.”

  Gray dropped her head in her hands. “This is mortifying. It’s like high school all over again.”

  David just grinned.

  “How many dances?” She peered through her freshly painted fingertips.

  “Ten. And your whole card is filled up.”

  She gave Miah a scorching glance. “I suppose you were in on this.”

  “Nah. I just found out. Just like you. But hey, if I have to dance with some little old lady to help the basketball team, it’s worth it.” He winked.

  “David, how do you know you didn’t give dances to some psychopath?”

  “Gray.” His chin tilted down. “It’s River Rock. Everybody knows everybody.”

  It was a small town and maybe that’s why ideas like this could work. Miah supposed they had to get more and more creative with the fund-raising. All the money came from a very small pool.