Do Not Disturb

by Lisa Ballenger

  She’d spent most of the night watching Brett out of the corner of her eye. Avoiding him. Not that he was seeking her out.

  She sat on the floor next to her bedside table and spread her legs out in front of her.

  What was going on with him? Not telling her about his background and then freaking out when she found out. Accusing her of checking up on him. She was disgusted. She dropped her head against the edge of the mattress and closed her eyes to keep the tears from escaping again when the phone rang.

  She snatched it on the first ring to keep it from waking Kelly. “Hello.”

  “Allison, It’s Brett.”

  What did he want now? To yell at her some more? She didn’t answer.

  "I’m sure you don't want to talk to me, but please give me a minute." He actually sounded like he was pleading.

  "Why?” The lump in her throat made sound difficult, giving her voice a strangled tone. “You certainly weren't interested in giving me any time tonight. I don't know why you think I should extend you the courtesy now."

  "You're right."

  He’d never sounded like this. Was he actually in pain? She swiped at a tear with the back of her hand. Well she sure as hell hoped so. She was in agony.

  “I’d like to try and explain--”

  She cut him off, her anger oozing out. "I’m not sure I’m interested in any of your explanations."

  "Look Allison. I want to apologize. I was wrong and ...I’d really like to explain.”

  She waited. He continued, his voice scratchy. "Would you let me come by for a few minutes tomorrow?"

  Only his breathing broke the silence.

  "Please. I won't stay long."

  Might as well get it all over with. "Kelly’s going to a friend's house to work on a project at two. You can stop by then."

  "Thanks. I’ll see you then."

  She hung up without saying goodbye, giving in to the tears that had backed up for hours. Around three o’clock, exhaustion took control of her body, sending her into a restless sleep.

  Allison rolled out of bed Sunday morning and dragged her body to the bathroom. Seeing her face made her want to cry again. Red and splotched, with puffy eyes. There wasn't enough make-up in Tampa to fix that mess.

  She turned on the shower and stepped in. As the water pelted her back, she attempted to organize her feelings.

  What was going on? Did she even care?

  Wasn’t this exactly the type of thing she’d wanted to avoid? Emotions. Pain. Misunderstandings.

  She flipped the shower head to massage and stood there for fifteen minutes, hoping to wash away the knots in her muscles.

  “Relationships,” she moaned as water trickled down her face. “I don’t need a man.”

  When her skin began to pucker, she knew her refuge in the shower was over. Time to get out, get dressed and face Brett.

  She poured a glass of juice while she yelled down the hall at Kelly. "Get your books. We’ll go to breakfast and then I’ll drop you off at Jennie’s. I need to be back at the house by two.”

  Kelly stuck her head around the corner of the kitchen. "What's going on, Mom? We never go out for breakfast.” She came into the kitchen, her eyes wide. “What’s wrong with your face?”

  “Nothing. I just got some soap in my eyes.” Allison placed her glass in the sink and kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “It’s time we did something different on a Sunday. Get dressed.”

  “Yippee. I’ll be ready in five minutes.” Kelly raced out of the room as Allison strolled around the room looking for the shoes she’d slung at the wall the night before.

  The breakfast, what little bit she’d eaten, churned in her stomach. It was still a few minutes before two.

  She really didn’t want to do this. Why had she agreed to see him? It would’ve been better to just break it off and get back to her life with work and Kelly.

  The doorbell rang.

  She plodded to the door, her legs heavy weights.

  Brett waited on the stoop, his hands shoved into the pockets of wrinkled shorts. His shirttail hung out, shaving obviously hadn’t even entered his mind and God knows where those tennis shoes had been hiding. The laces looked like they would dissolve at the slightest touch and the dirt and grass stains...

  "Allison." Brett said, his voice rough. This was the first time he’d ever greeted her without a smile. She didn’t want to care...but it left her heart sad.

  She waved him in, fighting to keep her feelings controlled.

  He followed her into the family room. She sat in the chair and waited for him to make the first move.

  First he balanced on the edge of the sofa cushion. Then he stood. Next he paced away. Finally he turned toward her, his hands on his hips.

  "I'm not sure where to start, so first I'll apologize again.”

  She didn’t react, keeping her hands clasped together in her lap, her mouth a thin line.

  "You're not going to make this easy for me are you?"

  "Should I?" she asked coldly.

  He tried sitting again. "No." He spread his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands.

  “Oh god, Allison, I can’t believe I accused you of researching my background. I had no idea my old company was the bank’s new auditors.” He looked up. “Why didn’t you tell me you saw my picture?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you worked there?” She glared into his eyes, never wavering.

  "Would it have mattered to you?" His eyes narrowed, a questioning look.

  This seemed critical to him.

  Her shoulders stooped as she exhaled. "What do you mean, would it have mattered?"

  "Was it so important to you that I’d been successful? That I had a big career at a big company?" His voice held a steely edge that Allison didn't recognize. Where was the laid back man she’d been around so much recently?

  "No. It didn't matter to me. But I did feel...I don't know," she shrugged, "left out, I guess, when I found out that Susan and Bob knew more about you than I did. I thought we were getting close and -"

  He bolted off the sofa. "You know a lot about me, Allison. I told you my feelings. We shared intimate moments. Things I've never shared with..." He waved his hands," Susan or Bob or anyone else I've met here. I've told you the important things in my life. The fact that I had a good job in Virginia isn’t important to me."

  What in the world was this about? Did something bad happen at his job?

  "But, Brett. That’s part of you. Part of your past." She stood and looked into his stormy gray eyes. "You once told me you wanted to know all about me, the good and the bad. Don’t I deserve the same opportunity?"

  He walked to the sliding glass door overlooking her back deck, dropping his head against the glass. "It does matter what I've done, doesn't it?” He spoke slowly, deliberately. “How would you feel if I’d been a plumber instead of some MBA toting financial advisor?"

  "I don't know where this anger is coming from, Brett. But I don't think it has anything to do with me." She walked over to where he stood and touched his arm. "I'll admit that I've always thought if I became involved with someone, he would have to have goals and aspirations similar to mine. Be driven to succeed and not content to just be average."

  He flinched under her fingers.

  "And I still think it's important to me to be with someone who has a plan for his life.” She moved around to his front, nudging him away from the door. “But, there’s something you should remember. I didn't know what you did in the past and I still got involved with you. So who you are as a man is more important to me than what you’ve done.” She tried to read his wooden expression. “But I was hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me, but felt you could tell Bob and Susan."

  "I'm sorry I didn’t confide in you, Allison." His eyes filled with pain as he let down the mask. “But I didn’t tell them either. He found out from a friend that worked at my firm. I didn’t want anyone to know.”

  Her eyes welled up with
tears again. Why couldn’t she stop crying? Surely she had no more in her.

  “Don’t cry, darling.” He touched her cheek. “I was wrong.”

  "Oh, Brett. I've been sick about this."

  He wiped away a tear with his thumb. "You do look kind of rough around the edges."

  She grabbed his hand and gulped put a laugh. "I look god awful, don’t I?"

  "I've seen you look better. Even the dead woman run over by a truck might have looked better." Brett placed his large hand on the side of her face and stroked her cheek.

  "You didn’t look like you were suffering last night at the carnival," she mumbled.

  "Maybe I should take up acting." He ran his hand to her shoulder and down her arm. "I may not have been crying, but I haven't slept."

  She grasped his hand and pulled him to the couch. "There's still something you're not telling me isn't there? Some reason you didn't tell me about your previous job."

  He sat, his head down, while Allison moved to the floor in front of him, sitting cross-legged. She picked up his hands and held them to her lips. "Please talk to me."

  "I should’ve shared more about my past with you."

  She kissed the tops of his fingers. "So why didn't you?"

  "At first I didn't think about it. You were so intense about your job, I knew you didn't want to hear the opinions of someone who had burned out on that type of life and left it behind. Just because I didn't want it anymore is no reason for you not to."

  He still wouldn't look at her face. This wasn't the real reason he’d kept his past a secret.

  "But mainly...it was because my being successful was the most important thing to my ex-wife," he blurted out all at once. "She only wanted to be married to someone who was scaling the corporate ladder at a record pace and who only had plans to make more and more money along the way."

  She squeezed his fingers. "Is that why you divorced?"

  "Not specifically." He looked up. "We were never suited for each other. It was a mistake from the start. But what we each wanted out of life did have a lot to do with why we weren't a good match. To her life is about money, power, success. Her husband's that is,” he added with sarcasm. “She, of course, only wants to spend the money and be the corporate wife."

  "Wow." She gasped softly. "I'm having enough trouble seeing you as the hard-driving corporate climber as it is. It's really difficult to imagine you with that type of wife."

  Finally he laughed. "I still do have a few suits that I'll drag out and wear for you one day. But you're right. It really isn't my personality. And she certainly wasn't the right wife for me."

  He rubbed the muscles in his neck. "In fact, as soon as I mentioned that I planned to leave the firm one day and start my own business, she was ready to start the divorce proceedings. You know the guy I said she married?"

  Allison nodded.

  "He was one of my co-workers. But he’s a lifer, destined for the boardroom. He’s never home. Doesn't enjoy one bit of his money. But that's his goal...climb as high as he can."

  "They sound perfect for each other," she said smugly.

  "They are." He framed her face with his hands. "I’m so sorry. For not telling you all this. But I wanted a relationship that was free of my past."

  "You know we can't escape what we've done. Where we've been. And I hope you don't think that I'm that shallow of a person to only want a man to take care of me."

  "No. I knew that.” He drew her into his lap. “I have enough trouble getting you to ask for any kind of help." Holding her close against his chest, he rubbed her hair hanging down her back from the rubber band that tethered it. "I guess we both have some baggage we're dragging along, huh?"

  She nodded, then edged back. "So what do you do on the computer all day?"

  "I still do investing. Just my own money now. And I've been helping a few small companies with their retirement plans. People I can work one on one with. It's been fun."

  She smiled at his enthusiasm.

  "I love the stock market and creating ways to make money. Always have.” He raked his fingers through her hair. “I guess I just took the wrong path to using what I know. Got drafted by the big firm out of graduate school and couldn't turn it down. Always thought that's what I should do."

  He nuzzled the side of her face. "I should’ve listened to Rob when we graduated. He came back here and was very successful. But, I'm on my way now to having the kind of life I want."

  They sat silently, letting the tensions of the last twenty-four hours evaporate.

  "Allison?"

  "Hmmm?"

  "Thanks for forgiving me."

  "You’re welcome."

  Snuggling in his arms, she couldn't remember when she’d felt so content.

  "I guess I'd better go. Caro’s waiting."

  "I need to pick up Kelly soon, too."

  They didn't move. He hugged her tighter. She wanted to melt into his arms, stay all night.

  "I know Kelly will be happy we've made up. I was a bear all morning. I lied about my puffy eyes, but I think she knew."

  He chuckled. "I can't imagine. You a bear? My sweet, mellow Allison?"

  My Allison. Hearing him refer to her that way made her shiver.

  "You really are amazing, darling. To put up with me," he said.

  "I think it goes both ways. I guess I should’ve told you as soon as I saw your picture."

  He kissed her forehead. "We'll both try harder to communicate better."

  "Brett?"

  "Yes?"

  "I want to make love to you. Soon."

  The muscles in his arms tensed around her. "I want to make love to you, too, baby,” he whispered hoarsely.

  "Now we just have to find a time." She eased back again to look into his eyes. "Let's don’t wait too long, okay?"

  He launched his mouth at hers, overpowering her as he shoved her into the couch. With the same urgency, she returned the fervent kiss.

  "God how I wish we had the rest of the day to be together. I need you so badly, Allison."

  "I know. When? When can we..." He stopped her words with his mouth, this kiss soft and sweet.

  "I'll think of something and call you tonight." He leapt up and dragged her with him. "I’d better get going so I can start planning."

  The clock on her bedside table said ten-thirty. Only fifteen minutes had passed since Allison last looked. She’d been watching it since Kelly had gone to bed over an hour ago. The novel on her lap couldn’t compete with her overactive mind and out of control libido.

  When had she ever waited so impatiently for a phone call? Especially from a man. She fluffed the pillows behind her back. It was probably high school. And then James. Funny, even then it didn't seem to matter as much as it did now.

  “Hurry up, Brett.”

  She tried to delay rushing when it finally rang, but grabbed it on the second ring.

  "Hello."

  "Hope it's not too late. I wanted to wait until the girls were asleep."

  "No.” She tossed the book on the floor and slid under the covers. “At least we’re finally alone, even if it's only over the phone."

  "I missed you after I left."

  "Me too." She sighed as her heart flipped over at his words. "I wanted you to stay."

  "I know." His voice was low and husky. "What are you wearing?"

  "What?" She raised up slightly.

  "You are in bed, aren't you?"

  "Yes." She smiled at the thought of Brett lying in his bed. "Are you?"

  "Yeah. So what are you wearing? Describe it to me."

  She frowned at her plain cotton nightshirt. Maybe she should lie. "I'm afraid it's not very exciting."

  "Tell me anyway."

  "It's a pale pink, cotton t-shirt. With short sleeves. See, not very sexy." She definitely would be shopping soon.

  "Where does it end? On your thighs?"

  "Yes. I have my legs bent up at an angle and..." She stopped when she thought of the picture she painted in his mind. />
  "Go on."

  "And the end has fallen to the edge of my panties."

  "Ohhh."

  She blushed at her boldness. She’d never talked like this over the phone. It was arousing. But then, just saying Brett’s name recently got her excited.

  "Describe your panties."

  Yes, shopping would be a priority.

  "They're cotton, too. High cut up on the sides of my legs. White."

  "I can see them."

  "So..." She hesitated, her mind racing with sensual thoughts. "What are you wearing?"

  "Nothing."

  "Nothing?” She shot straight up in bed. “Do you sleep that way?"

  "Yes."

  "Aren't you ever worried about Caroline needing something in the middle of the night and you being..."

  "She knows to knock. And I have some gym shorts by the bed if I need to get up."

  The image of him naked drove her wild. A heaviness spread through her lower body.

  "Will you sleep naked with me, Allison?"

  "Oh my. I never..." She threw off the covers, sweating.

  "You've never slept naked?"

  "No. I...No."

  "You'll love it. Trust me."

  "Brett?"

  "Yes, baby?"

  "What have you thought of for us to be alone?"

  "Glad to hear you're as anxious as I am." He chuckled. "What about next Saturday night? We'll get a sitter and go out to dinner. The girls can stay at one house and we'll go to the other for a while."

  "What about Friday?"

  "Friday it is. In fact I can make it Thursday if you want."

  Allison grinned. "No. That's a school night and I want us to have more time. Friday's fine."

  "Well, I'd better let you get some sleep. You think of me and have sweet dreams."

  "Good night, Brett."

  "Good night."

  Allison slowly hung up the phone, not wanting to break the connection to Brett. She turned out the light and sunk down. Hugging herself tightly, she tried to squeeze away the desire that began building when she was with Brett and had intensified to a feverish level while talking to him.

  It wasn't working, she decided several minutes later. But the aching feelings coursing throughout her body were welcome now. It was time to pay more attention to her own needs and Brett was the man to fulfill them.