Love Me to Death

by Sharlay

  Me: Babe, I know you, you are not enjoying it.

  Ned: Well Jackson is!

  Me: Then leave him to watch it alone. Let’s go.

  Ned: I’m not going anywhere with you!

  Oh yes, you are. I look down and see Jerkson whispering something in her ear and his arm still wrapped around the back of her chair.

  Me: You are, babe. And if you don’t tell that jerk to move his arm I’m going to come down there and break it.

  Ned: I am not. And his arm stays! It has nothing to do with you! You will NOT break it!

  Me: I promise you, I WILL break it, babe. And it has everything to do with me.

  Ned: How the hell did you reach that twisted conclusion?

  Me: Because I just book boyfriended the hell out of you by flying for 6 hours just to tell you that I am in love with you. So either you get rid of his arm or I do. The choice is yours?

  “That is so romantic. Well, other than the breaking his arm bit but I can see why you’d want to do that.” I turn to see Granny staring at me. “Sorry I didn’t mean to pry but that is so sweet.”

  She’s been reading the messages. Yup, I definitely feel violated.

  “You better hurry, she’s getting away,” she says as she points behind me. I turn my head and see Ned heading out of the theater.

  I don’t even answer her. I jump to my feet and squeeze my way past a bunch of people that roll their eyes at me and groan in frustration. When I get to the aisle I speed walk my way to the door. I push it open and search the foyer for Ned. I see her just as she is disappearing past a sign that says “des toilettes.” I follow behind her closely.

  “Hey,” I say once I finally catch up to her. She stands still but doesn’t turn around. I walk toward her and turn her around. She’s crying. “Hey, what’s the matter?” I whisper as my thumbs wipe the falling tears off her cheeks.

  She looks up at me sadly. “You can’t love me, Cole,” she breathes.

  “Says who?”

  “It’s not fair. Letting you love me is selfish.”

  “Do you love me, Ned?” She looks down. “Answer me, babe.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Do you love me?” I repeat. Her sad eyes meet mine and the tears fall harder.

  “I tried not to that’s why I ended the deal, it’s why I—”

  I cut her off with a kiss. Damn, I’ve missed kissing her. This kiss feels different because now I actually know I love her and that she loves me too.

  “Do you want me to tell you what’s selfish?” I ask when we pull apart. She looks up at me. “It would be selfish of you to know that I am completely in love with you and not allow me to have you when you know you feel the same way.”

  “You know it’s not that simple.”

  “No, it is that simple. You told me once not to be angry with death because we’ve always known it is going to come. Whether I fall in love with you now or whether I’d have fallen in love with you ten years ago, I would have always known that one day you would die. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to be with you. It just makes me want to spend every waking moment showing you how damn much I love you.”

  “We’re running out of time,” she whispers.

  “Then give me everything I can get from you but don’t you dare hold back. I want all of you, Ned.” I beg. She cries some more. “And stop crying, I just told you that I love you, anyone would think it’s a bad thing.”

  She laughs. Why does that sound even better now?

  I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead. She holds me tight and I feel right at home. “I love you,” I whisper against her skin.

  “I love you too,” she whispers.

  “Best. Sentence. Ever.” I tease. I hear her laugh against me and it feels good. “Now that that is out of the way, why the hell are you here with Jerkson?” I say pulling away so I can look at her.

  She rolls her eyes. “He lives here. This is where his client is based and where I need to finalize the deal I was telling you about. It was more of a coincidence than anything else.”

  “Then how did you end up here?” I ask with raised eyebrows.

  “Because he doesn’t start working until tomorrow and asked if I wanted to go to the opera with him. I was bored and so I said yes. Why? Are you jealous, Cole?” She teases.

  “Hell yes! You’re mine, babe. He needs to back off.”

  “I’ll let him know.”

  “Good. And he still hasn’t tasted your pancakes has he?” I ask.

  “No,” she says as she goes to swat me. Like always I catch her hand in mine and entwine our fingers only this time it feels different. Better.

  “Well, you need to tell him that you have to go because you feel ill.”

  “Huh?”

  “You feel ill, remember? You need to text him and let him know that you’re not coming back to watch the show?”

  “And why would I do that?”

  “Because I just flew thousands of miles to tell you that I love you. You need to come back to my hotel room and thank me with sex.”

  She bursts out laughing.

  “Oh my gosh even when you’re being romantic, you are still a jerk.”

  “Some things will never change, now text him so that I can make love to you.” She stares at me with raised eyebrows. “Please,” I add with a smile. She rolls her eyes before grabbing her phone out of her purse and typing at rapid speed. I smile.

  “Done.”

  “Excellent,” I say before picking her up bridal style and carrying her out of the building. She’s giggling all the way. “Because I have about ten different ways to show you that I love you.”

  “Sounds fun.” She blushes.

  “It will be but I hope you don’t have any other plans tonight because I’m not letting you out of my room for the rest of the night.”

  “I can clear my schedule don’t worry.”

  “Music to my ears,” I say before we get into a taxi and head back to the hotel with the biggest smiles on our faces. Tonight is going to be the best night of my life.

  “Oh my gosh!” Ned screams from beneath me. I give her a quick kiss on the lips once I have caught my breath, pull out of her and roll onto my back. “Why didn’t you do it like that the first time?” she says as she tries to catch her breath.

  “Because last time I screwed up. This is what I like to call make-up sex,” I grin before pulling her toward me.

  “Well, then I think we need to fall out every day, several times a day.”

  “I can manage that,” I smile.

  She’s lying on her side, staring at me as my hand strokes her hip.

  “How’s Layla?”

  “She’s great. She’s actually the one that made me realize that I needed to chase after you.”

  “Remind me to thank her,” she says with a smirk.

  “I will, so when is this big meeting?”

  “Tomorrow evening.”

  “You nervous?”

  “No, I know what I want to say and I’m determined to get what I want.”

  “That’s my girl,” I smile.

  “We need to order room service, I’m hungry.”

  “Agreed but I’m pretty sure Misty cannot afford this room so I’m ninety-nine percent sure that you’re paying for all of this.”

  “Actually, you are,” she chuckles.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Misty has your card details in case of an emergency. I’m pretty sure you are paying for this, not me.”

  “That devious little minx, no wonder she forgave me so easily.” Ned laughs. “However, we do need to talk about the money.”

  “What about it?” she asks seriously.

  “I need you to stop paying me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if we’re going to do this — make it work — then you can’t keep paying me for a job that I’m not even doing. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I finally get it. My mom told me to chase my dreams not to be irresponsible. Al
l of this time I kept telling myself that I’m just doing what my mom asked but I’m not. I’m trying to spite my dad. I’ve only just realized. I turn down any job that isn’t acting and it has nothing to do with my mom it’s all about my father. Chasing my dreams means that sometimes I’m going to have to do things I don’t really want to do. And that starts with me getting a job and paying you back every last cent that you’ve given me.”

  “No, I paid you to do a job and that’s what you did.”

  “Babe, I’ve never followed the rules of your contract. I need to do this … for me. Let me do this, ok?”

  “Ok,” she nods.

  “Thank you,” I whisper before kissing her lips.

  “Have you spoken to your father?”

  “No, but I need to. He wasn’t always like this; he used to be a good man … a good father. My mom’s death changed him and I never truly understood until now. He’s not angry with her, he’s angry because she left him. He misses her and for whatever reason he is taking it out on me.”

  “I believe that you remind him of her. You’re his punching bag. But I do believe he loves you, you don’t get that mad at someone you don’t care about.”

  “Yeah,” I breathe in understanding. “Now, as much as I love having this conversation with you I would much rather discuss those floss panties you were wearing. Did they have diamonds on them?” I ask, leaning over the bed and picking it up off the floor. “Oh my gosh, you bedazzled your underwear.”

  “I did not! I bought it like that,” she giggles.

  “Babe, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I think it’s hot! I can just imagine you sitting there sticking the little studs on one by one.”

  “Shut up.” She laughs. I pull her toward me.

  “Come here diamond floss, I think these panties just called for round two.”

  “I thought we were hungry?”

  “We are but I’m hungry for something else first. Food can wait.”

  I flip her onto her back and she laughs before smiling up at me.

  “You are so beautiful,” I whisper down to her. “I absolutely love hearing you laugh.” Then I kiss her, slowly and softly because I want her to remember every second of this moment. I want her to remember everything about the time we spend together just as badly as I need to remember.

  My lips glide down her jaw all the way to her neck. I hear her moan and I want nothing more than to sink deep within her right now. I trail slow, wet kisses down her neck before finding my way back to her lips.

  “I’m sorry that I ever gave you less than this.”

  “It’s ok, I forgive you.”

  “You promise?”

  “I promise.” Then I slip inside of her and she gasps. She holds her eyes closed.

  “Open your eyes, Ned.” She obeys. “I want you to see me. I want you to remember. I want you to know that even when you’re gone I’ll remember this moment for the rest of my life. And I won’t be sad, because every time I think about it, it’ll remind me that you were real. That you were mine.”

  She smiles at my words.

  “Thank you,” she whispers.

  “No, thank you.” Then I thrust; slow, meaningful thrusts. We move together in perfect sync and the feeling is more heightened than anything I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. I struggle to hold back but I do it because this is a memory that I plan to replay for years to come.

  As the noises leave her mouth and the sweat drips from my brow I slip my fingers through hers. I hold her there and stare into her eyes with every movement that we make. Each shift is a new way to communicate exactly what I’m feeling and I know she understands. This private language we’re creating … she gets it.

  I thrust one last time and her voice fills the room. I cover her mouth with mine and smile.

  “Are you actually smiling? My gosh, you’re even cocky during sex.” She smiles.

  “I have the most beautiful woman in the world lying beneath me, screaming my name, of course I’m cocky!” I grin. She laughs.

  “What am I going to do with you?” she says shaking her head.

  “Whatever the hell you just did. Over and over again. And I promise you I will be a very happy guy.”

  “Get up so I can eat,” she says shoving my chest playfully.

  “I will but you’ve got to admit something first.”

  “What?” she asks.

  “That, that was … The. Best. Sex. Ever,” I whisper with a huge grin on my face. I hear the sound of her laughter fill the room and I don’t care how long I’ve got left with her; I’m going to enjoy every last minute of it.

  Bang. Bang. Bang. Who the hell is that?! Bang. Bang. Bang. I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling in frustration.

  “Is that one of your girlfriends?” Ned mumbles into her pillow.

  “I hope not because I think that my actual girlfriend would be very unhappy with that scenario,” I tease.

  “Yes she would,” she lifts her head slightly and looks at me through squinted eyes. Her hair is messy but she still looks beautiful.

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  “I don’t think she’s going away,” she groans as she puts her pillow over her head.

  “I’ll go get rid of her,” I joke before swatting her ass.

  “Mmm.”

  I laugh before slipping my boxers back on. I swing the door open with a smile on my face. That smile disappears instantly.

  “What the hell do you want?” I ask angrily.

  “Where is she?” He growls.

  “That is none of your business,” I state.

  “Look, I’m not in the mood to deal with you today, so if you just go and get Ned and tell her tha—”

  “Jackson?” I swing around and find Ned staring in shock. She’s wearing my T-shirt which makes me want to slam the door in this jerk’s face, throw her on the bed and make love to her all over again.

  “You don’t look ill to me,” he says looking at her in annoyance.

  She looks embarrassed. “I … yeah … how did you know where I was?” she asks quietly.

  “Money, talks, Ned. Pay someone enough of it and they’ll spill their guts. We need to talk.”

  “No, you don’t,” I interject.

  “What exactly is your problem?” Jackson asks angrily.

  “You,” I say simply. “Forgive me if I get a little mad that you’re trying to hit on my girl.”

  “Your girl?” he asks, but his eyes are focused on Ned. I stop to look at her and she looks at him guiltily. “I thought you two were over?” he asks her.

  “Look, things are complicated, Jackson,” she breathes. That wasn’t the answer to his question, Ned. Now both of us are silent as we watch her.

  “Define complicated?” he asks.

  “This wasn’t planned,” she mutters. Why is she justifying our relationship to him like it’s wrong? I’m mad.

  “You really think that he is the right person for you? You barely know him, Ned. Clearly he isn’t a one-girl type of guy. How long do you think it’ll be before he gets bored with you?”

  “You don’t know a damn thing about me,” I growl at him. “Are you seriously listening to this crap?” I ask her. She looks at me sadly as if she is judging his words carefully. I can see in her face that she is wondering whether or not he is right. “Seriously?” I ask her.

  “Cole, just calm down, please. Jackson, you know nothing about mine and Cole’s relationship, you’re out of line.”

  “Maybe but I’m being honest. I love you, Ned. I’ve never stopped loving you. I can provide for you. I can take care of you.”

  She scoffs. “You left me, remember?” He broke up with her.

  “Yes and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I thought I was making the right decision but I’ve missed you so damn much. If I could go back then I never would have taken this job in Paris. I know that now. I’m just asking for another chance.”

  Tears are in her eyes and I know that what he is saying is affectin
g her. I’ve never felt so helpless. I’m so mad that his words even mean a thing to her right now. I want to rip him apart.

  “I can’t do this right now,” she whispers.

  “We have to. If this is my last chance then I need to take it. I didn’t fight for you before and I was an idiot not to, but this time is different. Just give me five minutes to talk to you. Alone.”

  “Like hell are you going to talk to her alone,” I butt in.

  “And who’s going to stop me?” he asks cockily. I step up to him quickly, ready to smash his pretty boy face to pieces. Before I know it Ned has slipped between us. She is staring up at me with those beautiful eyes. She shakes her head at me and lays a hand on my chest.

  “Don’t,” she whispers. “It’s not worth it. Please, Cole.” I stare at her for a minute. Damn it, this girl is my kryptonite. I feel like I’m losing my mind right now. Once she sees that I am calm she turns back to Jackson. “You need to leave, now.” A sense of relief washes over me. “Give me fifteen minutes to get ready and then I will come down to your room.” He nods his head before walking off. I clench my fists and become tense again.

  Ned closes the door and turns around. I just stare at her. I search her eyes for some sort of explanation. I need to find the logic behind her messed up decision. When she gives me nothing I say, “What the hell was that?”

  She walks past me and begins picking up her clothes off the floor. She turns to me as she slips her jeans up past her waist. “Cole, Jackson and I have history. I know you don’t understand but I do care about him. He’s been a good friend to me over the years and I owe it to him to at least explain things.”

  “Friend? He’s your ex; that is not the same thing.”

  “You’re being immature and blowing this way out of proportion.”

  “Seriously, because the way I see it is that your ex-boyfriend just told you that he is still in love with you and you are about to go down to his hotel room and discuss getting back together.”

  “That’s ridiculous. I never said that. You know things are complicated right now, I don’t have much time and I need to fix things.”