Lady—Here's Your Wreath

by James Hadley Chase

  I lit a cigarette and sat down. My knees were a bit shaky. It had certainly taken it out of me, and I was mighty glad to see her helpless. The waiter at the Hotcha Club had said she was tough, but he had underestimated. Tough? That’s a laugh. She’d scare the pants off Strangler Lewis.

  I wasn’t going to take the room to pieces until I’d been able to talk to her first. Tied up, she might be made reasonable.. Anyway, that’s the way I liked to talk to dames like her.

  After I had got through half the cigarette, she began to rise to the surface. I watched her with interest. Her eyes opened, blinked in the light, then shut. Her head moved uneasily on the pillow. The bed looked as if an earthquake had hit it, but I wasn’t going to waste my time tucking a baby like this in.

  She suddenly snapped out of it, and tried to sit up. The look she gave me would have burnt a hole in a sheet of asbestos. I grinned at her. “Sorry to be so rough, sister,” I said, “but you certainly asked for it.”

  She began to call me names again. Well, names don’t break bones, but after a minute of it I got mad. That dame had about the dirtiest mouth I’d ever run into. I got out of the chair and grabbed a pillow. I slapped the pillow down hard on her face and held it there. I gave her a few seconds, then took if away.

  “Cut that stuff out,” I said grimly, “or you’ll get smothered.”

  She lay there, her eyes stormy, and I could see by her wriggling she was doing her best to bust loose. I wasn’t worrying about that. I knew how to tie a knot, and if she did get her hands free I could always put her out again. I wasn’t having any more gentle stuff with this dame… she was poison.

  I sat on the bed beside her.

  “Now you an’ I are goin’ to have a little chat,” I said. “If you don’t cough up what I want to know, it’s goin’ to be too bad for you. I’ve played ball up to now, but a floozie like you deserves to get the dirty end of any deal, an’ I’m goin’ to see you get it.”

  “Don’t start anything, Mason,” a voice said by the door.

  I looked quickly over my shoulder.

  Earl Katz was standing in the doorway. He was holding a blue-nose automatic in his hand, and the barrel was pointing right at me.

  CHAPTER SIX

  SURPRISED? I’LL SAY I was surprised! You could have knocked me down with a mangle. What the hell was Katz doing here? What connection had he with Vessi’s moll?

  I wasn’t going to show him that he had pulled a quick one on me. I gave him a smile. “Still pushin’ them into pockets, Bud?” I said.

  “An’ talkin’ about pool, did you hear the one about the guy who was laying the red—?”

  “Skip it, Mason,” Katz said out of the side of his mouth. That’s another thing I love. These guys who’ve been to so many tough movies that they just have to talk out of the side of their mouths, because they think it’s the thing to do. “Get her untied.”

  I shook my head. “You’re crazy,” I said. “You don’t know what you’re saying. If I took the rope off this dame she’d kill us both.”

  The automatic jerked up. “Listen, wise guy,” Katz said, “you ain’t goin’ to get anywhere with this line. Untie that dame, an’ make it snappy.”

  Ackie had said this guy was as dangerous as a rattlesnake. To look at him now, I thought Ackie might be right. He didn’t look the dope any more. There was a cold, vicious gleam in his eye, and I thought he’d love to have a crack at me. When a guy’s got a gun I don’t argue too long. Guns always did make me nervous, anyway.

  “Turn over, Tootz,” I said.

  I wasn’t looking forward to the time when she got her hands free. The look she gave me didn’t exactly reassure me that a love feast was on its way.

  I got her hands free and stepped away from her. I reckoned that I’d sooner argue with Katz’s gun than take anything from her.

  She sat up, rubbing her wrists. “Give me a wrap,” she snarled at Katz.

  Without taking his eyes from me, he pulled another wrap off the hook on the door and tossed it to her. She struggled into it and got off the bed. She looked a hell of a wreck. Blood from my nose was all over her shoulders and she’d got a big bruise on her jaw. I had left my fingerprints all over her arms, and the punch I had got in on her shoulder was already turning red and green.

  She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I could hear the water running.

  “Sit down,” Katz said, jerking the automatic again.

  I sat on the bed. I said: “Suppose you put the gun away and take it easy. This is a private matter between Blondie and me… it don’t call for any outside interference.”

  Katz said: “You talk too much. Keep your trap shut. I’ll do the talking an’ you just answer… get it?”

  I shrugged.

  “What are you doin’ here?” he asked.

  I grinned. “That’s an easy one,” I said. “What the hell would any man be doin’ here?”

  Katz pushed his hat at the back of his head and leant against the wall. He put a finger and thumb in his vest-pocket and took out a toothpick. He put the toothpick in his mouth and chewed it thoughtfully.

  “If you don’t like to talk straight,’ he said, “it’s goin’ to be tough for you.”

  I said: “Be your age, Katz. You can’t get that way with me. I could make this town so hot for you that you’d have to take a powder quick.”

  Katz shifted the toothpick. “You’re all washed up,” he said. “You ain’t nothin’. Suppose you get wise an’ talk? What are you doin’ here?”

  The bathroom door opened and Blondie came in. She’d done some good work and she was looking more herself. Her eyes still glinted dangerously and she stood in the doorway, watching us.

  I shrugged. “I guess I’ll be on my way,” I said, getting to my feet.

  Katz said: “Sit down.” There was a threat in his voice.

  “We won’t get anywhere,” I said. “I’m goin’.”

  Katz shifted a little, so that his back was against the door. “Don’t start anythin’,” he said. “I ain’t ready to plug you yet, but don’t rush me.”

  I said: “You better get out of the way.” I was getting mad with this gunman. I guessed he’d think twice about letting the gun off. After all, we were on a main street, and guns can make a noise.

  Maybe Katz gave Blondie a signal, or maybe she acted on her own initiative. I had been keeping my eyes on the gun, making up my mind whether I could jump Katz or not, and for a moment she was out of the picture. Well, I deserved what came to me, because I had had a taste of her before. I said already this dame was poison, and poison she was.

  Something hard and heavy hit me on the side of my head, and I went down on my knees. The room tilted and the lights began to spin.

  Dimly I heard Katz say: “Don’t hit him again…. I wantta talk to this bird.”

  Someone grabbed my arms and twisted them behind me and a hard, cold strap bit into my wrists. I felt myself tossed on the bed. My head cleared and I struggled to sit up, but a hand, out of the mists, closed over my face and slammed me back on the pillow. I lay still until I could focus the lights properly, then I raised my head cautiously and looked at them. They stood at the end of the bed, watching me.

  Blondie had her arms crossed over her breasts. Her face was indifferent, but her eyes smouldered. Katz chewed the toothpick and held the automatic loosely.

  Without taking his eyes off me, he said to Blondie: “What’s it all about?”

  “He’s crazy. He came up here an’ said I’d taken five grand off him.”

  Katz shrugged. “Well, didn’t you?” he said. He moved round the bed and sat down close to me. “Listen, punk,” he went on, I m goin’ to tell you somethin’… then you’re goin’ to tell me somethin’. We’ve got your jack all right. Blondie lifted it, like you thought she did….”

  Blondie made a move forward. “What the hell….” she began.

  Katz turned his head. “Shut up,” he said. “I’m handlin’ this. I want this guy to know wh
ere he gets off.”

  He turned his head back to me. “We’ve been watchin’ you for some time. You went to Vessi’s bump-off, didn’t you?”

  I said: “What of it?” It struck me that if this guy talked enough, I might learn something.

  “We’re interested to find who sent you… get this right, we don’t care about you… we just want to find who’s paying you; get it?”

  I looked at Blondie. I was getting a little of the angle. “I thought you were Vessi’s side-kick,” I said. “I see. I’m wrong. Vessi was framed, an’ you know it. This guy’s no pal of Vessi’s… what the hell are you playin’ ball with him for?”

  Blondie said viciously: “You lay off that. Who sent you that five grand… that’s what you gotta tell us.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t tell you that… I don’t know myself. I just got a note offerin’ me five grand to bust the frame-up open, an’ I was interested. I went along to see Vessi die…. I didn’t learn anythin’, and the five grand turned up to encourage me, an’ you knocked it off. That’s the history as far as I’m concerned.”

  I was careful not to tell them that I had my instructions by ’phone, because I didn’t want to give them a lead that it was a woman. I reckoned I’d given them just enough information without telling them more than they knew.

  Katz scratched his jaw with his thumbnail. “That all?” he said.

  I nodded.

  Blondie said suddenly: “What the hell’s the matter with you, Earl? Why don’t you rough this guy around. You won’t get anywhere talkin’ soft to him.”

  Do you get the idea now? This dame was real poison ivy. I said quickly: “What more do you want me to say? I can’t tell you somethin’ I don’t know.”

  Katz still sat there scratching his chin with his thumbnail. He kept his eyes fixed on my face, and I don’t mind telling you that I didn’t like the look in his eye. This guy was as tough as Blondie, only in a different way. He wasn’t all wind. When he started something, you’d know about it all right.

  He said at last: “Okay, I guess you can beat it. You better keep clear of this place. You won’t find that five grand, an’ you’d better not go to the cops about it… get it?”

  Blondie pushed forward. “You’re crazy,” she said. “Look what this heel’s done to me. You ain’t lettin’ him get away with that?”

  A sudden flash jumped into Katz’s eyes. He looked mean. “Listen, Roundheels,” he said, “You lay off. I’m handlin’ this… so shut your trap.”

  Blondie stepped away, shrugged, and walked into the bathroom. Katz watched her go and then turned back to me. “She’s mad with you,” he said, chasing holes in his teeth with the pick. “I’d watch my step with her. Once she gets mad with a guy, she stays mad.”

  I sat up. “Suppose you get rid of this strap, an’ I’ll scram.”

  He looked at me thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t start anythin’ if I were you,” he said.

  I grinned. “That’s okay, I assured him. “I never hunt around for trouble.”

  He jerked the strap off my wrists and stood up. He was a cautious guy but I wanted to get out of that room badly. If they had my five grand I wasn’t going to risk my skin for it. After all, I’d never really had it, so I wouldn’t miss it.

  I swung my legs over the side of the bed and gently massaged my wrists.

  Katz leant against the chest of drawers. He still held the automatic limply at his side. “Take my tip, bozo,” he said, looking at me from under his hat, “you lay off this Vessi business… it ain’t healthy. We don’t want to get a guy like you into trouble. We know all about you. You ain’t bad. The boys think you’re an all-right guy. Okay, that suits me, but stay an all-right guy.”

  I raised my head and shot him a look. “Meanin’?”

  “Just forget about Vessi, an’ go on with your pen-pushin’. Forget about everythin’ an’ forget you ever seen me or Blondie.”

  “Suppose I don’t; what happens then?”

  “Well, things happen, you know. The guys who run this show are big guys. They could make a smear of you if they wanted to. They could run you outta town. They could turn on the heat. Yeah, I guess plenty would happen.”

  I scratched my head. “You sure got this thing worked out,” I said. “I guess I’d better think it over.” I got to my feet and hunted around for my hat. I found it lying by the door. Someone had trodden on it. I stood there working it into shape. “You better kiss Blondie good night for me… I don’t think I could trust myself to do it.”

  Katz compressed his lips. He didn’t seem to think much of my humour. “Sure,” he said, “I’ll tell her you’ve gone.”

  I opened the door and took a step on to the landing. “I guess I’ll see you some time,” I said, and pulled the door to.

  I wanted a drink badly. My nose was feeling like hell, and my right eye was beginning to close. I thought a stiff drink might set me up.

  When I got into the street I walked rapidly to the end of the block, hailed a taxi and directed him to a bar near my apartment.

  I was glad the bar was empty. The barman gave me a long look, but he didn’t say anything. After the second bourbon I began to feel better. I had a third and took that one more slowly.

  My mouth was feeling sore, but I lit a cigarette and held it in my slip without much trouble. Fighting dames was going to be struck off my list of hobbies.

  Although I hadn’t got my five grand, I had learnt a lot. It looked to me that Vessi had been properly double-crossed. If his girl friend had joined the other side, he’d had a raw deal all round. It was over Blondie that the shooting was supposed to have happened. Maybe they had given her enough dough to fix the trial. I would have a look into this angle. Then I paused. Or should I? This guy Katz was dangerous, and I was bucking a big outfit. Was it worth going on? What had I got out of it up to now? I felt my nose and eye thoughtfully.

  Unless I found out something good that would blow the lid off this business quickly, I was going to run into trouble. I ordered a fourth bourbon. Suppose I left it alone? Okay, I’d still be right where I was, and maybe I’d be a lot better off.

  With the bourbon inside me, I decided definitely to go home and forget all about it. Then I suddenly thought of Mardi. When I thought of her, I felt good. Now that was my idea of a swell girl. She’d got everything. I told myself that to-morrow I’d take her out to lunch. I could do with a lot of her company.

  I didn’t take long to get to my apartment. As I let myself in the telephone began to whir. I hesitated before answering it. The bourbon had made me feel fine, and I didn’t want any more trouble for to-night. Anyway, I answered it.

  “Nick Mason?”

  It was that dame again. I sat on the edge of the table. “Yeah,” I said.

  “I sent you—”

  “I know,” I broke in. “I’ve had a swell time since you sent me that five grand. You don’t know what you’ve been leadin’ me into, baby. First Vessi’s old moll steals the five grand. Then I go round and see her an’ we have a hell of a scrap, that’s nearly ruined me. Then Katz, Spencer’s gunman, turns up and points a rod at me, and tells me to lay off or else….”

  I grinned a little at the sudden silence at the end of the ’phone. I guessed that had certainly given her something to hold.

  “An’ what is more, baby, I’m through… I ain’t interested any more, so forget all about it, will you?”

  “So you are not interested any more?” Her voice was very cold.

  “You’ve got it right the very first time,” I said.

  There was a short pause, then she said: “But you will be, Mr. Mason… believe me, you will be very interested before long,” and she hung up.

  Just like that.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE FIRST THING I did when I woke was to inspect the damage Blondie had done to me. I looked like hell. My nose was about twice its usual size and my right eye was closed. I looked like I’d been pushing Joe Louis around.

  I went ba
ck to bed, plenty mad. With a wrecked pan like this I had to wash out taking Mardi to lunch. I couldn’t expect to put my stuff across, looking the ruin I was.

  I lit a cigarette and thought over my troubles. If Mardi and me were married it wouldn’t matter a hoot how many black eyes I had, in fact she would be running around fixing me up and fussing me. As soon as that thought filtered through my brain I sat up with a jerk. I was crazy. Me, getting married. That was a laugh. Me, the guy who ribbed the boys who got hooked. Taking one dame on for the rest of my days was one mistake I’d promised myself never to make. And here I was, lying in bed, pondering now nice it would be.

  I got out of bed and grabbed myself a drink. I told myself I’d better take some exercise or something; I was losing my grip.

  I’d just finished my shower and rinsed off the shaving-soap when the front-door bell whirred violently. Slipping on my dressing-gown, I opened up.

  Ackie was standing there, his eyes glittering with suppressed excitement. “H’yah,” he said, pushing his way in. His eye spotted the half-pint standing on the mantelpiece and he went straight across and sunk half of it.

  “Finish it up,” I said dryly from the door, “don’t mind me.”

  Ackie shook his head and put the bottle back. “Never drink in the mornin’,” he said. “Pity… that ain’t bad liquor.”

  I said: “Come into the bedroom while I finish dressing.”

  He followed me in and sat on the edge of the bed.

  “What’s the excitement?” I asked, pulling on my shirt.

  “I gotta job—” He broke off and gaped at me. “Hi!” he exclaimed, his eyes popping, “what the hell’s the matter with your face?”

  I shrugged. “Got into a little scrap last night,” I said carelessly. Tell Ackie that a dame had done this? Not a chance! The boys would rib me to death.

  Ackie still stared. “Huh,” he said, “gettin’ tough, eh?”