Lady—Here's Your Wreath

by James Hadley Chase

  She struggled up in bed and blinked at me. Some dames look like the wrath of God in the early morning; Mardi looked swell. Her hair was all curls and her eyes looked large and lazy. She stretched a little. The long sleeves of my pyjamas hid her hands.

  “Give me two minutes,” she said, “and I’ll be right with you.”

  She jumped out of bed and slipped on the woollen dressing-gown and flopped off to the bathroom. I wheeled the tray in and parked it beside the bed. Then I pulled up one of the blinds and left the other. Strong sunshine after a night out is apt to come tough.

  She came back after five minutes and smiled at me. “Did you sleep well?” she asked, climbing into bed.

  “Very well,” I said, feeling sappy. I guess no one had asked me that one since I’d been out in the world earning my first dollar. “How did you make out?”

  She arranged the pillows and sat up; the dressing-gown spread over the sheet. “Oh, I feel grand right now,” she said. “I thought I’d’ve died last night, I was so tired.”

  I brought the tray over to the bed. “I’m glad we were together on that,” I said, looking at her. “I’d’ve hated you to run into those guys on your own.”

  She took the cup of coffee, but she didn’t take her eyes off my face. “I’m glad, too.”

  “Do you want to talk about last night?” she said.

  I shrugged. “What’s there to talk about ?”

  “Will it be all right?”

  Again I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said, “I’ve been puzzling my brains. I can’t see how we can worry Spencer. After all, we have no proof and we don’t seem to be getting anywhere. Somehow, I reckon it would be as well to leave the thing alone. How do you feel about it?”

  She frowned a little. “I’m afraid we won’t get away with it as easily as all that. You see, there’s a lot you don’t know about it all, and I’m scared sick that you’re going to get yourself involved more than you think.”

  I lit a cigarette. “Tell me,” I said, getting up to take the tray and to give her a cigarette also.

  She relaxed back on the pillows. “It all begins some time ago,” she said. “I think I know who your mysterious lady is.”

  I sat up. “You do?” I said.

  She nodded. “Yes, I think it’s Sarah Spencer, Lu’s wife.”

  “Well, for Pete’s sake.”

  “It fits, once you know the inside story. You see, I was Mr. Spencer’s private secretary, and I used to spend a good bit of my time at his house. He worked late and he liked to have me around to straighten things out for him. Sarah Spencer was around a lot and I was always running into her. Spencer is crazy about her, but she two-times him from morning till night. How it is he hasn’t got wise to her beats me. You see, I do know that Vessi was one of her boy friends.”

  I got to my feet and began to wander around the room. “I’d like you to expand on that,” I said.

  “She was very fond of Vessi,” Mardi told me. “Really fond of him. Sarah is the type who likes them rough, and Vessi meant a lot to her. When he was executed she nearly went out of her mind. I had to work for two days right in the house, so I should know. She drove us all haywire. You have no idea. I think she hates Lu.”

  I sat on the bed. “You’ve opened the door,” I said. “As you say, it fits. She wants to get Lu on trial. That evens things up with Vessi and it gets rid of him. She couldn’t come out in the open and accuse Lu of knocking Richmond off. The Vessi angle would come out in court and it wouldn’t be nice for her. So she hides behind a telephone, and makes me the goat.”

  Mardi nodded. “Yes,” she said, “I think that’s what it all means.”

  I thought some more. “It would have been easy for her to know what was going on,” I said. “All the things she knew to tell me over the ’phone came from keeping her ears open and listening in to Lu’s talk with his boys. I dare say she had ample opportunity of doing that. Then again she’s rich, I take it, and ten grand would have been peanut money for her to get rid of Lu.”

  Mardi stubbed out her cigarette. “She’s crazy about the men. She’s running Curtis now. He’s working for Lu, as you know, and I guess he told her all she wanted to know.”

  I suddenly thought of Kennedy. Was he an old flame of hers? I guessed I was getting near to the truth.

  “Well,” I said, “this is going to get her nowhere. I’m through, so she can whistle for another goat.”

  Mardi fixed her big eyes on me. “You don’t know Sarah Spencer,” she said quietly. “I’m scared. She won’t let you go as easily as that.”

  I grinned at her. “Don’t you worry your head,” I said. “No dame’s goin’ to rush me into somethin’ I ain’t keen about.”

  “Please don’t….” She looked so scared that I got up and went over to sit on the bed.

  “Now take it easy,” I said, putting my hand on hers. “Just take it easy.”

  She said, “But you don’t know her. She’s dangerous. She won’t stop at anything.”

  I liked the feel of her hand in mine. I took each finger in turn between my finger and thumb and gently pressed her nails. “Suppose we wait an’ see,” I said. “It’s no good getting steamed up before anythin’ starts. Now forget about it, honey, we got other things to think about. I’ve gotta make plans. What are we goin’ to do with you?”

  She was quite content to leave her hand in mine. We sat there looking at each other, and when she saw I wasn’t worrying she relaxed and smiled at me.

  “You’re good to have around, Nick,” she said. “I guess I’d be in a bad spot without you.”

  “I’d like you to be around always.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t say that,” she said, taking her hand away. “You don’t have to say it.”

  “I know. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t meant it. I’ve tried to get you out of my system, but you stick. I guess this sounds cock-eyed to you, but I want to go on with you.” I stopped because I just couldn’t get the words out.

  She saw what I meant all right. She said very softly, “What about me? Do you think—”

  “I’m thinking about you. I wouldn’t’ve started this if I hadn’t’ve been thinking about you. It’s because of you that I want you and me to go on. I think you and I could go on—”

  I got up. It was no use. I couldn’t put it over. I guess I regretted being what I was for the first time in my life. I regretted all the other dames. I regretted almost everything.

  I went over to the window and looked out. The silence in the room made me think of a church. Then she said, “Nick….” She Was crying.

  I went over to her and put my arms round her. I didn’t say anything. I just put my arms round her and held her. She cried against my silk dressing-gown. I could feel her body trembling.

  “Be kind to me,” she said. “We are going to have a strange life together.”

  When she said that, I felt good. It was like coming through a bad storm, shutting the door on the wind and the rain and knowing that it was quiet inside.

  I shifted my position so that I lay beside her, and she put her head on my shoulder. Her soft hair touched my face and I held both her hands in mine.

  When she had stopped crying and was quite calm again, I said, “Suppose we go an’ get married quick? Would you like that?”

  She stayed so still, after I had said that, that I thought she had not heard me, but I just waited, wondering how it would all come out and if she really wanted me. She sighed then, and relaxed.

  “Would you say a thing like that if you didn’t really mean it?” she said at last, leaning away from me so that she could look up at my face. Her eyes were very bright and her lips were parted, and behind the brightness of her eyes I could see she was scared.

  I said, “No, I wouldn’t. It’s how I want it to be.”

  She shook her head. “You’re crazy, Nick. You don’t want to marry me.”

  “I know why you say that. You think I’m just like the rest. You don’t know me y
et.”

  “No—I do know you.’ It’s not because of you, it’s because of me. What do you know of me? How can you—”

  I grinned down at her. “I know you’re swell an’ I want you. Let’s be nice to each other, honey—we’ll get along.”

  She gripped my hands hard. “You mean you’ll marry me? You’ll marry me?”

  “What is it, baby?” I didn’t get her angle. She seemed scared that Td change my mind. This was crazy to me, because I thought I was the one to be getting scared.

  She smiled suddenly. “You haven’t kissed me yet.”

  “I will if you’ll marry me.”

  “Kiss me, then.”

  And that’s how it was.

  It was over an hour after, when we got down to the first stage of making plans and wondering what we were going to do, that I remembered Kennedy. Why I hadn’t remembered that guy before beat me. Right there I had the solution to everything.

  I said, “I’ve got the place. You’ll be tickled to death with it.”

  She said, “Where?”

  And I told her. She sat there, her eyes rather wide, not saying anything until I had finished. Then she shook her head. “No, Nick, we couldn’t go there.”

  I got off the bed. “You don’t know the place,” I said. “You wait until you’ve seen it.”

  She put out her hand. “No, I mean that. I couldn’t meet any one just yet.”

  “I ain’t asking you to meet any one. No one will be there. Kennedy will be away. We’ll have it to ourselves.”

  When I said that she relaxed. “You must make sure,” she said.

  After four unsuccessful ’phone-calls, I tracked the Colonel down and I told him how things were. Kennedy was an all-right guy. He was mighty pleased.

  “Sure,” he said, “you go ahead. I’ve got out of the lodge now and you can have it. Yes, you go ahead. I’ll fix everything for you, an’ you stay there as long as you like.”

  I told him what a regular fellow he was, but he just laughed it away. “Forget it,” he said. “You have your honeymoon and enjoy yourselves. I’m glad you’ve got a girl; it’s what you’ve been wanting.”

  We did a bit more back-slapping and then I put the receiver on the prong. I looked over at Mardi. She didn’t have to be told, she saw it all right. “I said so, didn’t I?”

  She spread her hands helplessly. “Oh, I want it to be true,” she said, “I want it to be true.”

  “You stay there until I get dressed. Then I’ll go out and make it true,” I told her. “We’ll get this wedding fixed and then we’ll go out to the lodge.”

  She sat up in bed. “I don’t want you to leave me,” she said quickly, her eyes looking scared. “Not now I know. Don’t leave me, Nick.”

  I patted her arm. “Look, I’ll fix it with Ackie. Then we can both stay right here and let him do it all.”

  She said, “Yes, do it that way,” and her eyes lost the scared look.

  I went over to the telephone and got hold of Ackie. I thought it would give him a shock. It did.

  He said, “Hold everythin’. I’ve gotta see this jane first. Now for Gawd’s sake hold everythin’ until I get right over.”

  I hung up and grinned at Mardi. “He certainly is excited,” I said. “He’s coming right on up.”

  Mardi scrambled out of bed. “Run away, Nick,” she said, “I want to get dressed.”

  Before I went into the next room I kissed her. Then I went off and got dressed myself. I was feeling swell. I felt like I could jump over the Empire State building.

  I’d just finished dressing when Ackie blew in. He stood in the doorway, his monkey face looking worried. He said, “Where is she?”

  I jerked my head to the door. “She won’t be long,” I told him, “She’s getting dressed.”

  “Now listen, Nick,” he said, coming over to me. “What is all this? You don’t mean you’re really gettin’ married?”

  I thumped him on his chest. “You bet I am,” I said, “and you’ve got to fix it for us.”

  He lowered his voice. “She holdin’ you up?”

  “What do you mean… holdin’ me up?”

  He looked furtive. “You know… she ain’t in trouble?”

  “Now listen, you gutter-minded monkey, Mardi an’ me are like this.” I crossed my fingers. “I’m marrying her because it’s the one thing I can do that I want to do. Now do you get it?”

  He walked slowly away from me. “You mean you want to marry this jane?” He sounded incredulous.

  “Yeah.”

  “And you want me to help you?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Well, by Heck! I guess you’re nuts.”

  Just then Mardi came out. She stood in the doorway and Ackie got an eyeful. She certainly looked the cutest thing, with her big smoky eyes and her smile. Ackie just gaped. Then he looked at me. “Well,” he said.

  “Now do you get the idea?” I asked.

  He shook his head mournfully. He went over to Mardi. “You poor little thing,” he said, shaking hands. “What a break. You don’t know what you’re doing. You can’t marry this guy… he ain’t fit to marry any one.”

  Mardi just laughed at him. “Are you going to help us?” she asked.

  “You really want to get linked up with this heel?”

  “He is rather nice. You don’t know him as well as I do.”

  Ackie looked at me over his shoulder. “You’ve done a nice job grabbin’ yourself this one,” he said. “Why, sure, if I can help you, just count on me.”

  I fetched a bottle of Scotch and we two had a couple of quick ones. I said to Mardi, “Honey, while I talk with Mo, would you like to put my things together?”

  I showed her where my grips were and left her sorting out my clothes. I got Ackie in a huddle. I told him the whole story, and he just sat there drinking it in along with my Scotch. When I had finished he heaved a sigh. “That’s a swell story,” he said. “Maybe when you’ve been bumped off I can print it.”

  A nice comforting sort of a guy to have around.

  “There ain’t goin’ to be any bumpin’,” I said sharply. “I’m goin’ to get under cover and I’m goin’ to stay that way for a little while. Kennedy’s let me have his lodge. We plan to get married right away and then move on over there.”

  Ackie scratched his head. “It beats me how you do it. How you get a swell jane like that to have anythin’ to do with you beats me. You certainly know how to look after yourself.”

  I gave him some money. “Go along an’ see how quickly you can fix things. We’ll go over to the Belmont Hotel until everything’s fixed. I ain’t too keen to be hanging around here. You get goin’ and then come on over to the hotel.”

  I gave him another drink and he went in to say ‘good-bye’ to Mardi. Ackie was an all-right guy, and I could see he was pleased that I’d got Mardi. It was just his way of putting things.

  Mardi was sweet with him and he went off looking like the cat that got the cream.

  I stood around watching Mardi pack. She made a swell job of it.

  “How’d you like bein’ a wife?” I said, sitting on my heels beside her.

  “You mean doin’ all this?” She paused and looked at me over her shoulder.

  “That’s right.”

  She closed the grip and sat on it so she could get the locks shut. I helped her. “I want to be good,” she said seriously. “I want to do everything for you.”

  I laughed. “You be careful. You might be changing your mind.”

  We got the things together at last and I sent for the porter to take them down. Then I arranged to square up for the rent, and that was the finish of my apartment.

  “I guess we can go,” I said, looking round the room. “Everything’s down. Put your wrap on and we’ll go to the station and pick up your things.”

  She said, “I won’t be a minute.”

  When she had gone into the other room someone knocked on the outer door. I thought it was the porter, so I just
yelled out for him to come on in. The door opened and Blondie stood there.

  I’ve had some shocks in my time, but this one rang the bell. I couldn’t say anything.

  She stood there, looking at me, her eyes cold and suspicious. “Movin’ out, huh?” she said.

  “What the hell do you want?”

  She sidled into the room. “You don’t sound so pleased to see me, darlin’,” she said. “Didn’t you say to come when I had somethin’ to tell you?”

  Keeping my voice down, and hoping Mardi wouldn’t hear, I said, “I ain’t interested any more. You scram quick. I’ve had enough of your outfit for life.”

  Just then Mardi came out. Blondie looked at her the same way a snake might look at its Christmas lunch. “So,” she said.

  I love a dame who talks like that.

  Mardi went white. Not paper-white, but the blue-white of porcelain. She put one hand to her mouth and flinched away from Blondie.

  I said sharply, “Leave me for a moment. There’s no need for you two to meet.”

  Mardi turned and went back into the room.

  Blondie said, “Wait….”

  Mardi kept going and she shut the door.

  Blondie turned on me. “So that’s how it is?” she said, her eyes brooding thunder and lightning.

  “Save it,” I said tensely. I wasn’t taking anything from this dame. “On your way, Blondie, and make it snappy.”

  She shook her head. “You ain’t getting away with it like this,” she said. “I’ve got to have a little talk with you.”

  I walked past her and threw open the door. “If you ain’t outside in two seconds, I’ll toss you out,” I said.

  At that moment the guy opposite me has to come out. He stood there, his eyes popping. I took no notice of him. I just waited for Blondie to take it on the lam.

  She hesitated, but she knew she wasn’t in the right place to start trouble. She walked slowly past me into the corridor. “All right, you heel,” she said, “I’ll make plenty of trouble for you.”

  “Save it,” I told her. “I don’t like you, and I never did. Keep away from me if you want to stay healthy, or else you’ll run into a nasty shock.”

  I stepped inside and shut the door.