Hercules and the Geek of Greece

by Hunter Kennedy

  But Hercules did not reply. A stiff wind had suddenly blown in on them.

  Be quiet, dear! Hercules heard Brooma say. For the first time, Hercules was actually glad to hear the haggard goddess’s voice.

  “Why?” Hercules asked the wind. “What is happening?”

  Danger is nearby, was all Brooma would say.

  Then the wind blew again and she was gone again.

  “Who do you talk to when the wind blows?” Geekus asked Hercules in a whisper.

  But Hercules ignored this question as well.

  “Just be very, very quiet,” he told Geekus instead.

  Hercules reached over and soothed XL, who was lying as still as he could. But now another wind began blowing. This one was very cold. . . .

  And then they saw what Brooma had come to warn them about.

  It started with another very frightening sound. The noise of many feet, marching in step. Then the sound of many voices crying out at once.

  Then they saw them. A long line of white figures was marching out of the forest to their left. They moved like ghosts along the winding road, standing three by three, carrying swords and spears and wearing heavy armor and helmets.

  But these soldiers were not real.

  They were skeletons. . . .

  Now came more noises from the forest on their right. Out from its trees marched another army. They were skeletons, too.

  The two armies came to a halt no more than one hundred paces away from each other—and very close to where Hercules, Geekus, and XL lay. The skeletons all stopped marching at the exact same moment. They looked at each other for a very long time. Then they slowly broke ranks and glided to their battle positions. In moments, the hundreds of ghostly skeletons were lined up on the field in two long rows, facing each other—with Hercules, Geekus, and XL right in the middle!

  Hercules tried not to move. Even Geekus was quiet. For the first time ever, he was not sniffling or sneezing.

  “Wow . . .” he breathed. “Is this a dream?”

  “Yes,” Hercules huffed back. “A very bad one.”

  An instant later, they heard a bloodcurdling scream, and suddenly the two armies charged each other.

  The sound of swords flailing and spears slashing filled the air. The fighting was vicious and very scary. Swords hit skulls, spears stabbed empty rib cages. Bones were flying everywhere. Hands, feet, elbows, kneecaps. Some of the skeletons would fight on, headless, without arms, without legs. And some of the bones that had fallen to the ground were able to reconnect with each other and grow back into grotesque creatures with many arms and many heads, swinging swords and spears blindly.

  Now the screams were so loud above them that they hurt Hercules’ ears. The nose was frightening XL greatly and Hercules draped himself across the steed’s neck and tried his best to calm him.

  The battle was raging all around them. Skeletons—and pieces of skeletons—were flying over their heads. The clash of metal against metal, sword against spear, was deafening. And never did the unearthly screeching leave the air.

  Geekus was right beside Hercules and they were both hugging XL and trying to stay as close to the ground as possible. But the ghostly battle kept getting closer and closer.

  And closer . . .

  Then, suddenly, the wind blew. . . .

  And everything got quiet again.

  There was no more screeching, no more sounds of battle.

  Hercules opened his eyes—and he was surprised to see that they were alone again in the field. There were no skeletons, no ghostly soldiers. No more clash of armor.

  Nothing.

  The only noise he heard was Geekus. He was wheezing and saying the same word over and over again: “Wow.”

  Hercules was holding his dagger so tightly in his right hand that his fingers were numb. Once he knew the vision was gone for good, he drew the knife up from under him, and slowly put it back into its sheath.

  Then he rolled over and patted XL, who responded with a low snort. It was even darker out now—clouds were suddenly hiding the moon from view. He patted XL again, and he seemed to calm down a little.

  Then Hercules turned over to speak to Geekus.

  But he was not there.

  Hercules was up in a flash, patting the ground, looking for him and finding nothing.

  “Geekus! Geekus!” he hissed. But there was no reply.

  XL snorted again, this time louder. His bray sounded of concern.

  Hercules pulled his dagger from its sheath again.

  “Where are you, you geek?!” he hissed frantically.

  “I’m right here!” came the voice out of the dark.

  Hercules spun around, dagger out—and found himself looking into a soldier’s helmet. It was empty. There was no head where a head should be.

  Hercules froze again—what was this?

  “Cool, huh?”

  That’s when Geekus lifted the helmet from his head.

  “Isn’t it the best?” he said again, his voice echoing within the metal hat. “One of those freaks left it behind. I found it in the stream over there.”

  Hercules just stared back at him, relieved that this was not some long-lost ghost soldier. But at the same time, he was irritated that Geekus had crawled away without telling him.

  He felt a third feeling, too: surprise. He was surprised that Geekus was gutsy enough to go crawling around in the dark on a field that had just been the scene of a very horrible enchantment.

  But was it real bravery? he wondered. Or just stupidity?

  Hercules didn’t know.

  “I’m going to go back and look for more stuff,” Geekus announced.

  “No, you’re not!” Hercules told him.

  Despite what they’d just gone through, they had to keep going. They would have to reach Castletop by noontime to have any chance at all of saving the queen.

  “We have to leave,” he told him. “Right now.”

  Geekus’s face dropped a mile.

  “You mean, travel back out on the road?” he asked. “Even after what has happened?”

  Hercules got XL to his feet. The horse was shaking, and still very anxious. But he knew what they had to do.

  “We must go,” he told him. “It’s as simple as that.”

  “But the road,” Geekus protested. “We’ll just run into more of those . . . those . . .”

  His voice trailed off, as if he couldn’t say the words. Hercules felt the same way, too. He never wanted to see any of the night creatures again, either.

  But he had a plan. He knew when the night creatures came out, they always stayed near the Road of Rudes, hoping some mortals would come by for them to terrorize.

  Was there a way for Hercules, Geekus, and XL to get to Castletop without traveling on the road?

  Hercules decided it was time they found out.

  Chapter 9

  The Big Secret

  The Amazon celebration at Castletop was going into its fourth day.

  The fires were still burning atop the castle walls. The huge feast was still in full swing inside the grand courtyard below. More cows were being cooked, more wine was being guzzled. The hundreds of Amazon warriors continued to eat, drink, and be merry. They were still so happy that the eternal life-giving Crown of Xas was in their queen’s possession, they almost couldn’t stand it!

  But Queen Stuka was not happy.

  She was still atop her throne, still eating cows’ eyeballs and gulping wine. But she was worried. Very worried. Her wizards were still around her, like nervous birds, scratching their heads and pacing endlessly.

  The problem was the latest news from the forest: it was not good.

  The wizards at Castletop weren’t the most powerful wizards in the world. They could conjure up enchantments and conduct a reasonably strong curse. But their s
eeing balls were not very reliable and thus, they didn’t have eyes everywhere. Plus, their own personal magical powers didn’t extend out far beyond Castletop.

  They could, however, use magic birds to see the results of all the enchantments they had placed in the forest. The problem was, the special warriors sent from Zim had not turned back, even though they had run up against everything the wizards had put into their path so far. Roadblocks, sleeping pollen, even the grand enchantment of raising the Lost Armies of Hexes and having them refight their eternal war again—nothing had yet scared the special soldiers away.

  At last report, they were still making their way toward the Amazons’ fortress.

  And that’s why Stuka was not yet in a celebrating mood.

  She was slumped farther now into her chair atop the throne, hair dirty, hands sticky with eyeball juice and spilled wine.

  “Who could these special warriors from Zim be?” she asked her wizards for maybe the hundredth time. “They must be the bravest of Xumonia’s finest troops. What if we can’t stop them?”

  The twelve wizards fretted gravely over this. An entire army, they had been prepared to deal with. But this small specialized unit from Zim was really giving them headaches. And when wizards got headaches, they were usually doozies!

  Finally now, one of the wizards dared to speak.

  “My lady, if I can be so bold,” he said, “perhaps it is time to release the secret weapon?”

  Stuka just stared back at him.

  Years ago, the Amazons of Castletop had come up with a way to keep the nearby forests free of trespassers and potential enemies. It was a very secret weapon. Few people in the area knew of its existence because the Amazons used it only in emergencies.

  “Do you really think it’s necessary?” she asked.

  The wizards all looked at each other, and each one appeared more concerned than the next.

  “Yes, we do,” the lead wizard finally answered.

  Stuka thought about this for a while and finally, a smile crossed her face. The idea of using the secret weapon was beginning to sink in, and it appeared she was warming to it.

  “Just one word from you, my lady,” the lead wizard told her, “and it’s as good as done.”

  “Okay, then,” Stuka said finally. “Do it.”

  It was now exactly midnight.

  From the highest tower in the Castletop, five Amazons appeared, each holding a very long golden horn.

  Across the chasm, in the forest of the east, the moon was just beginning to touch the tops of the trees.

  The Amazons put the horns to their lips and as one, blew a long, single note.

  At that moment, a huge door halfway down the mushroom-shaped mountain opened for the first time in many, many years.

  The Amazons blew their horns again.

  A dark shadow began to emerge from behind the door. It got bigger and bigger until finally something stuck its head out of the opening.

  The head was enormous, the length of ten horses put together. The neck came out next—it was longer than fifty horses!

  Then came the body.

  It was big and thick and green, with four thick legs. A pair of wings sprouted from its back. They were longer than the thing’s neck! And its feet were bigger than its head!

  It was a dragon. A very big, very ferocious-looking monster whose size was nearly half that of the Castletop fortress itself.

  The Amazons blew their horns again. The huge creature looked around and let out a tremendously frightening sound—which was actually a yawn. It had been asleep for many, many years.

  The Amazons blew again. Now the creature began beating its wings. Incredibly, it lifted off from the opening and flew across the chasm. It circled a few times, then disappeared into the sky.

  At this point, the Amazons put away their horns and went back into the castle. They would not have to return now again until dawn—and that would be to blow their horns again and signal the dragon to fly back to Castletop to be fed.

  Unless, of course, the creature had already found something to eat in the woods before then.

  Chapter 10

  Off the Road

  It had been a tough five hours for Hercules, Geekus, and XL.

  Once they’d left the road, they’d had to climb down one side of a very craggy hill and up the other. Then they’d had to ford a very deep, very cold stream—luckily XL could swim, because Geekus couldn’t. Then they’d had to climb another hill. Then ford another cold river. Then climb another steep hill. . . .

  It was hard. It was dark. It was scary. But it was also safer than traveling the road, simply because there were no night creatures out here. And it was quicker, too, because now they were going in a straight line toward Castletop, and not dealing with the twists and turns of the road.

  It was actually XL who’d done most of the work. The gallant stallion was as surefooted as a mountain goat, and had lugged Hercules and Geekus down some very steep inclines, very gently and very carefully. But then there were other times, when the brush got too thick or the hills too high, that they had to dismount the steed and help him along.

  So they worked like this—a team of three—for hours. Then finally the sun came up and the threat of night creatures went away completely. After that, the going got a bit easier.

  It was around midmorning when they finally reached the top of a hill and saw clearly for the first time the outline of Castletop in the distance.

  It looked higher than Olympus, though it was not surrounded by clouds. Just like the vision in the seeing ball, it stood a mile high above everything on three sides of it. On the fourth side, it was separated from the high forest cliff by a very wide chasm.

  “At last!” Geekus yelled on first seeing it. “We must have done something right!”

  Hercules had to agree with him. Even XL snorted in triumph when he spotted it.

  “But now,” Hercules said, “the hard part really begins.”

  Little did Hercules know just how right he was.

  They traveled another hour or so, certain they were cutting much time off their journey. All the while they kept Castletop in view as their goal.

  It was near noon when they had to stop for a break. They found the shade of a large, greenish mound of earth to be most inviting at this point. The day had grown very hot and the trees were sparse here. They had to eat and drink and rest for a while before the final push.

  They dismounted XL and let him graze. Hercules and Geekus sat down, together, and split a sweetcake and an apple. Once their brief meal was finished, they both leaned against the mound and rested their eyes for a moment.

  That’s when Hercules realized the “mound” was breathing.

  He froze when he first felt it. What was this? He reached down, pushed some of the brush away, and discovered that instead of dirt and stone, there was actually a lot of green, scaly skin underneath them.

  Hercules coolly reached over and put his hand to Geekus’s mouth. The boy was startled—but he stayed smart and quiet. Hercules indicated what he had found below them. This little hill was actually a living, breathing creature—a very large living, breathing creature.

  It was strange, because XL seemed to realize the exact same thing at the exact same moment. He stopped grazing and was immediately up on his hind legs. Hercules and Geekus jumped up and somehow landed right on the steed’s back. Luckily, his saddle was still on. As soon as they were on board, the horse bolted away.

  A second later, the “mound” came to life. A gigantic head lifted up from beneath the leaves and dirt, with a very long neck attached to it. The body moved like a million barrels of jelly. The huge tail snapped once, and it sounded like thunder.

  The eyes in the huge head looked around, the gigantic mouth opened—and let out a thunderous yawn. Then the head and neck flattened out again and the huge feet threw more
dirt and leaves to hide the gigantic body once more.

  Hercules and company were nearly a mile away by this time. XL had run like the wind, over some very tough ground, so frightened was everyone. Only after a while did they stop long enough to look back.

  Never had Hercules seen a creature so huge! And never had he felt so lucky to escape.

  What he, Geekus, and XL didn’t realize was that they’d just come upon the Amazons’ secret weapon, one of the biggest and mightiest dragons in the world.

  Lucky for them, when they met him, he was asleep on the job.

  Chapter 11

  Desperate Measures

  It was lunchtime at Castletop. Stuka was sitting in her grand dining room, a bowl of eyeball soup before her, a flask of wine nearby.

  The queen of Castletop was finally in a good mood. Her female warriors had released their secret weapon, the dragon they’d kept locked up for the past fifty years or so. Apparently, it had solved the problem in the forest.

  Or had it?

  Her wizards had told her that no one had been spotted on the Road of Rudes for the past few hours, not since the dragon had been released. Obviously, the special warriors from Zim had been frightened away by the beast. Or worse.

  So Stuka was happy, and when Stuka was happy, the whole Amazon kingdom was very happy.

  She chewed her way through the eyeball soup, and then drained the broth. She was just wiping her mouth when one of her wizards entered the dining room and approached. He looked very nervous and fretful. He knew her good mood wasn’t going to last very much longer.

  “What is it now?” she asked him with much exasperation.

  “My queen,” the wizard said, “my colleagues and I have just conferred, and we’ve reached what may be a troubling conclusion.”

  Stuka’s eyes became red hot. This was not a good sign for the wizards.

  “And that is?” she hissed.

  The man was pulling on his fingers nervously.

  “Well,” he started, “we believe that maybe the intruders are still somewhere in the forest.”