Full Tilt Duet Box Set

by Emma Scott

  We rounded the corner.

  I expected to cry and wail, to be flooded with pain and grief and collapse in a heap on the floor. I didn’t expect my chest to tighten with exhilaration. I wasn’t prepared for the smile that broke through my face like a crack in hard stone. Tears flooded my eyes but not for pain. For the breathtaking beauty of Jonah’s masterpiece.

  The water looked like it was in motion. The sea life at the bottom pulsed with life. I could feel the heat of the blazing sun slice through the delicate glass waterfall. A blur of yellows and blues, oranges and reds.

  I sank down on a bench opposite the glass. I breathed through the tears and let it fill my eyes, let my eyes inhale the beauty of it.

  “You were right,” I whispered. “This is exactly the right place to be. Is that why you come here? Does it bring you peace?”

  “Some.” Theo sat next to me. An exhausted collapse of his limbs, as if he’d carried around a tremendous weight all day long, and only here could he set it down. As he stared up at the glass, he looked haggard and exhausted.

  “I drank myself into a stupor to numb the grief,” I said. “And I still want to. The fact we’re fifty yards away from a casino filled with free booze is agonizing.”

  “You want to leave?”

  “No, I have to deal with it. Being here helps. But what about you, Teddy? How have you been coping?”

  He shrugged. “I just keep moving.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.” He was closed up tight, arms crossed, expression locked in determination.

  You left when he asked you to stay. You weren’t the only one suffering, about to shatter into pieces.

  I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “What for?”

  “You know what for. You hurt as much as I do.”

  He shifted like he was going to say something dismissive. Instead, he sighed and said in a low voice. “Like I said, you’re here now.”

  I nodded against him, my tired eyes wanting to close but if they did, the ache in my heart would pull me under. I drank in the beautiful glass instead.

  We sat with Jonah for a long time.

  Theo

  I went into work the next day at noon and Vivian told me Gus was already there, waiting for me.

  “How bad is it?” I asked.

  She shook the Magic 8-Ball on her desk, one of her many kitschy knick-knacks. She turned the blue triangle toward me: Ask again later.

  “Thanks, Viv,” I muttered. “That’s super helpful.”

  She chucked me on the arm. “Go get’em, tiger.”

  I stepped into the back office that was hardly bigger than a broom closet, and just as cluttered. A bank of five lockers lined one wall, and the desk practically barred access to the bathroom.

  “I’m trying to retire, Theo,” Gus Monroe said, as I shut the door behind me. He leaned back in his chair, kicked his cowboy boots on the desk and smoothed his long, handlebar mustache with two fingers. A ponytail of thin brown hair hung over the shoulder of his plaid button-down. He pinched a quarter-inch of air between his thumb and index finger. “I’m this close to Belize’s beaches for the rest of my life. I’m not trying to get back to inking.”

  “It was an emergency,” I said. “I had to help a friend. She was in a bad way.”

  “She, huh?” Gus rolled his eyes. “For a chick you drop everything and take off for a week?” He shook his head. “Don’t let women lead you around by the balls, Fletcher. They do it once, they won’t ever stop.”

  “Good advice,” I said, adding silently, From the guy who’s on his third marriage.

  “Here’s another piece of advice: You take off like that again and I’m going to have to let you go. Can’t be helped.”

  “It won’t. I promise.” A lie. I was thankful he wasn’t firing my ass but if Kacey ever needed me again, I was gone.

  Can’t be helped, I thought and almost smiled.

  Vivian poked her head in the door. “Sorry to interrupt, but she's here, Theo. Your brother’s…girlfriend?”

  Kacey mentioned she might stop by, but the last fucking thing I wanted was Gus to figure out she was the reason I’d taken off for a week. I turned to go. “Thanks, Viv.”

  “You just got back,” Gus said. “Now you're socializing on company time?”

  “She’s a paying customer. She’s here to pick a design.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Go.” Then leveled a finger at me. “But I’ll say it again, Fletcher. I love your work. You’re a talented artist. And having Inked sniffing around here for news about you isn’t exactly a bad thing. But no more taking off, you got me?”

  “Loud and clear.”

  I slipped out the door and shut it behind me. Kacey stood in the little waiting area, making small talk with Vivian. Her hands gripped opposite elbows, hugging herself tightly. She looked frail and nervous.

  “Hey.” I came over to her. “You good?”

  “Sure,” she said, smiling weakly. “Just…more memories.”

  My stomach twisted around one of them—an ugly memory. The day Jonah and Kacey came here together was the day we had to admit Jonah was getting worse. The day that marked the beginning of his downhill slide.

  “Come on, I’ll introduce you around.” I led her down to my station. The shop was slow that day, and both Zelda and Edgar were between clients.

  “Guys, this is Kacey Dawson,” I said. “Kacey, that’s Edgar Morrello and Zelda Rossi.”

  “Nice to meet you both,” Kacey said.

  Zelda smiled and gave a small wave. “Hi.”

  “Good to meet you, little lady,” Edgar said, in a warm, genuine, with no trace of a joke imbedded in it.

  Kacey perched on the side of my chair, swinging her legs back and forth. She wore skinny jeans, black ankle boots, and an oversized Rocky Horror Picture Show T-shirt. Her hair was down, her makeup spare. She looked effortlessly sexy.

  “Did they know Jonah?” she asked softly, with a backward nudge of her head. “I don’t remember them at the funeral. Then again, that day is all a blur.”

  “They were there,” I said. “And I don’t remember much about the funeral either. I’ve dedicated the last six months to blocking it out.”

  She smiled and a short silence fell between us.

  “Do you know what you want yet?” I asked. “I owe you a tattoo.”

  “I still haven’t decided.”

  I jammed my hands into my jean pockets. “Maybe the glass that Jonah gave you? The universe orb?”

  Dumb suggestion. You’d never capture it perfectly.

  Beneath that thought, I hoped she’d say no. I didn’t want to use my art to render Jonah’s on her skin.

  Kacey frowned and thought for a moment. “No. I don’t know what I’m supposed to get but that’s not it.”

  “What you’re supposed to get?”

  “Yeah, I have this weird feeling that it’s something specific. Something only you can create for me. But I don’t know what it is yet. It’ll come to me.” She looked up and laughed a little. “Maybe I need to pay Olivia the Fortune Teller five more dollars and let her tell me.”

  I smiled, trying not to look too relieved. The heart wants what it wants. I think I read that somewhere. My heart, apparently, was a selfish asshole.

  “Speaking of advice from the Other Side, have you thought about maybe buying this place?” Kacey asked. “Vivian was telling me your boss is on the verge of retirement. Maybe he wants to sell.”

  I cleared my throat with a glance toward Zelda and Edgar. Thankfully both were preoccupied with new clients.

  “Hadn't thought about it. This place is pretty small and not really what I had in mind, in terms of style.” I leaned closer to her. “And it’s not exactly common knowledge around here that I’m looking to get my own shop.”

  “Why not?”

  I opened my mouth and then shut it again. “I don’t know. It’s just…not something I t
alk about.”

  She arched her eyebrows.

  I held up my hands. “What? I don't need a bunch of people knowing my business.”

  “Aren’t they your friends?”

  “I guess.”

  “You don't like to talk much about yourself,” Kacey said, a smile lifting her sad expression to something warm. “In fact, I recall you hardly said two words to me when I first started seeing Jonah.” Now the smile stretched to a grin. “Strong, silent type.”

  “I talk when I have something to say.”

  She rested her chin on her shoulder. “I like that. I’m the exact opposite. I’ll miss talking to you when I go back to New Orleans.”

  “When?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  My heart sank into my guts. “So soon?”

  She nodded. “Already bought the flight. I'm glad I came back, but I have responsibilities back there.” She smiled ruefully. “I’m trying really hard not to be a giant fuck-up anymore.”

  I toyed with a chipped piece of wood on the armoire. “Think you’ll ever move back here?”

  She sighed as her legs swung back and forth like two pendulums. “I honestly don't know, Teddy. I want to. I miss you and Beverly and everyone. But being here is really fucking hard.” Her shoulders rose and fell, a pained, sad shrug. “I’ll miss the hell out of you, but I think it’ll be easier to heal in a place where I don’t see him everywhere I turn.”

  I nodded. “I get it.”

  “You guys are so brave. You live with the memories—a lifetime of memories—surrounding you. I’m not strong enough for that. Not right now.”

  I tried not to let the crushing disappointment show on my face. “I get it, Kace. We all do.”

  She smiled a little brighter then.

  “You need a lift back to the hotel?” I asked.

  “I have an Uber picking me up.”

  “Mom wants dinner again tonight. With all of us.”

  She nodded. “I'll tell them I’m not staying.”

  “You sure you don’t want your tattoo while you’re here?”

  She grinned. “I'm not going to get one in New Orleans, if that’s what you’re so worried about.” She reached around and tapped her right shoulder blade. “This spot is reserved for a Theo Fletcher original.”

  A fierce desire rose to see that plot of her body she was saving for me, and I had to kill it quickly.

  Kacey slid off the chair. “I should wait out front.”

  We started walking toward the entry, every bone in my body screaming, Stay. Please stay.

  “I’ll make you a deal,” she said.

  “What’s that?”

  “When you buy your own place, I’m the first customer.”

  “That might be awhile.”

  She stopped by the reception desk and stretched up to kiss my cheek. “I can wait.”

  Her perfume filled my nose, and the whispered words sank into my skin and dropped straight into my groin. I stood there watching as she left the shop. Then my eyes noticed Gus, his arms crossed over his narrow chest, his expression 100% I-told-you-so.

  “Uh huh,” he said. “By the balls, Fletcher. She has you by the balls.”

  I wish, I thought.

  “She’ll come back.” I picked up Viv’s Magic 8-Ball and gave it a shake.

  Outlook good.

  I shook my head as I set it down. I was becoming a chump. First Tarot cards, now stupid toys. But I smiled all the way back to my station and the smile hung around as I set up for my first client.

  When little slivers of hope put in an appearance, you have to grab them and hold on. Give them a smile. Otherwise, what’s the fucking point?

  Kacey

  At dinner that night, I told the Fletchers, Dena, and Oscar that I was definitely going back to New Orleans. Beverly was disappointed but told me she understood, so long as I came back to visit.

  “And I’m not going to give up on the idea of you moving back here,” she told me when it was time for me to head back to the hotel. She hugged me tight. “For what you did for Jonah…”

  I hugged her back. “I didn’t do anything for Jonah that he didn’t do for me.”

  Beverly pulled away and cupped my face in her hands, her face threatening to crumple into tears. “Oh, my sweet girl…” she managed, and let me go.

  Dena pulled me close. “Our wedding is in one month. I want you to be one of my bridesmaids.”

  I recoiled a little but tried not to show it. The wedding of Jonah’s best friends, without Jonah present, would be so fucking hard…But I smiled and nodded, my happiness for them surfacing from beneath the grief.

  “I’d be honored, Dena.”

  She smiled at me and then said, as if she could read my thoughts, “It will be a bittersweet day, but in the end, love must triumph, yes? For all of us, Kacey,” she added in a whisper, as if it were a secret.

  Theo was at my hotel before sunrise. He took my trundling luggage out of my hands and stowed it in the back of the truck, then opened the passenger door when I paused to rummage in my purse, making sure I had everything.

  “You’re a true gentleman,” I said, climbing in. Two coffees were sitting in the cup holders, filling the cab with their heavenly scent. “I take that back. You’re a saint.”

  Theo grunted a reply. He said almost nothing the entire drive to the airport. His expression was hard and his eyes full of thoughts he wouldn’t share with me. At the security checkpoint at McCarran, I faced him, tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

  “Teddy, I can’t thank you enough.”

  “Don’t,” he said, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. “Don’t thank me, Kace. Just…”

  “What?” I chucked his arm lightly. “Talk to me, Goose.”

  He shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “Okay.” I stepped closer and tentatively gave him a hug. It felt like hugging a boulder. “Goodbye.”

  I released him and turned to go, but his hand slipped into mine and he pulled me back. His light brown eyes looked backlit from within, as if all the thoughts he never said were on fire. His jaw worked for a moment before he said, “Remember the other night. Outside your hotel, when I said you didn’t owe me anything?”

  “Yes.”

  “I take it back. You owe me one thing.”

  His hand was still holding mine. “Okay.”

  “You have to promise me that if shit gets tough, and it feels like you’re going under, you fucking call me.”

  “So you can fly back to New Orleans and fail more classes? Or maybe lose your job?”

  “Yes.” His hand squeezed tighter. “I don’t blame you for taking off the first time. Hell, some days I want to jump in this truck and start driving, just to get lost for awhile. Don’t beat yourself up. You did what you had to do to cope.” The hard edges of his voice softened, as did his gaze on me. “But don’t do it again.”

  I nodded mutely. “I won’t.”

  “Promise me, Kacey. Don’t ever disappear on me, okay?”

  “I promise.”

  He kept his gaze locked on me a moment more, then nodded, as if satisfied. “Good. Then we don’t need to talk about it anymore.”

  He let go of my hand and hugged me. I walked down the gangway to my plane, turning his words, and the conviction behind them, over and over in my mind.

  He’s intense because he has so much at stake, I reasoned. He can’t lose more time from work or school to bail my ass out of trouble again.

  But it felt deeper than that. I tucked the hand he’d held under my arm to keep it warm, thinking about all the promises tucked into a goodbye.

  Stay here, Theo said, the night we scattered Jonah’s ashes to the desert.

  I will, I said.

  I turned to the window as the plane took off and watched Las Vegas, and all its goodbyes and promises, grow smaller and smaller, until it was gone.

  Promise me, Kacey…

  Kacey

  To my sober eyes, my little shotgun house seemed shabby
and dilapidated. With the beer (and vodka and whiskey) goggles off, I could see it was a cute little place with a lot of potential, if only I bothered to give it some attention.

  I walked around, thinking about paint and curtains and rugs, when the doorbell rang. In the peephole was an African-American woman with close-cropped hair. She looked to be in her early-thirties. wearing a denim jacket. Her smile was bright white but for tiny gap in her otherwise perfect front teeth. A foil-covered pan balanced in her oven-mitted hands.

  I opened the door. “Yes?”

  “Hi,” the woman said. “I’m Yvonne Robinson. I live next door.” She inclined her head, then held up the pan, which smelled like tuna casserole. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

  I frowned. “I’ve been living here six months.”

  Yvonne gave me a dry look. “Honey, you may have resided here, but you weren’t really here, now, were you?”

  I grinned despite a blush creeping up my neck. “No, I guess I wasn’t. Would you like to come in?”

  “If you please. This pan is heavy.”

  Yvonne strode past me, straight to the kitchen where she set the pan on the counter. Already the casserole was filling my little house with a delicious scent.

  “It just came out of the oven,” Yvonne said, taking off the oven mitts and tucking them under her arm. “So you’d best wait a bit before digging in.”

  “I’ll try,” I said, indicating for her to sit on the couch. “It smells amazing. Tuna casserole is my favorite. My mom made it all the time when I was a kid.”

  “No offense to your mama, but I got them all beat,” Yvonne said with a laugh.

  “So… How did you know…?”

  “That you were in a bad way?” she finished, leaning forward on the couch. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

  I searched my memory, then shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’ve been…out of it.”

  “Honey, I know,” she said. Her words came out rapid-fire, every other sentence curling up at the end, making questions out of statements. “I used to see you coming home late at night, kind of stumbling? I wanted to help but I work all hours. I’m a nurse down at Ochsner Medical? A few days past, I heard you having a hard time. When your fellow was here? Theo? I thought he was the cause of it. I heard you yelling bloody murder and came over with a baseball bat, ready to knock his teeth in.”