Her smile faded. ‘Then why———‘?’ she whispered. ‘I mean, if you think that why are we …’ She stopped and twisted her hands together uncomfortably.
He sat up. ‘I thought you’d understood and accepted it.’
‘I …’
‘Roz, moments ago you were happy and relaxed and you were chatting to me as you haven’t for ages. You slept today, and I’ve never known you to sleep during the day—don’t you see, it’s working already, my dear.’
‘I can see,’ she cleared her throat, ‘that I haven’t been a very successful wife, which I promised myself I would be, you know. I didn’t say to myself, well, I haven’t got much option about this, so I’ll make it as difficult as possible. I said the opposite. I … want you to know that, Adam.’ She looked down at her hands, then lifted her lashes.
‘Do you think I don’t?’ he retorted.
She flinched. ‘Then …’
‘Roz,’ the light of impatience died out of his eyes suddenly, ‘look, all I’m suggesting is a short break from each other, that’s all, and I want to make sure you understand that before I go. It’s nothing to get into a panic about.’
‘Go?’ Her eyes widened.
‘To Japan,’ he said wearily. ‘Just for a week on business. I told you this morning that I had a busy time ahead—well, it’s all to do with the opportunity to acquire the agency for a very sophisticated Japanese electronic sound system, with the distribution rights, etcetera. I decided today that my best bet was to go over in person, so I’m flying out tomorrow. But you’ll have Nicky and …’
‘I know,’ Roz cut in dryly, and a little spark lit her blue eyes, but she looked away quickly, unwilling for him to see that she was curiously angry suddenly, and not only because he had made it sound as if she needed a whole host of minders. Then she forced herself to breathe deeply, although in a sense she was happy to be angry because at least she didn’t feel quite so foolish and it seemed to keep other, more complex emotions at bay.
‘I hope you’re taking over a plentiful supply of stuffed koala bears,’ she told him. ‘They love them in Japan. I was reading only the other day about a Japanese tourist who bought fourteen, dropped them in the Brisbane River—accidentally, of course-—-and rushed back to buy
another fourteen.’ She even managed to smile as she delivered this thrilling bit of information, which might have been lodged at the back of her mind for just this moment! she thought.
Adam looked at her steadily, then grimaced and said, ‘I’ll certainly take your advice, ma’am. I wonder if they sell them at the airport.’
CHAPTER THREE
‘ISN’T this just bliss!’ Nicky exclaimed enthusiastically as she rearranged herself on her lounger beside the pool.
It was a clear hot day with the lovely smell of summer in the air and the pool sparkled beside them, sprinklers netted the lawn further away with diamond drops of water, and to cap off the bliss, Nimmitabel had recorded an extremely fast track gallop earlier that morning.
‘Mmm,’ Roz agreed, but in fact she wasn’t thinking of their day but whether it was snowing in Tokyo.
‘Roz, were you ever in love before you met Adam? I mean, was he your first love?‘
The warning bell that sounded in Roz’s brain effectively banished images of winter in the Land of the Rising Sun. She sat up and reached for some suntan lotion to smooth over her ivory skin, rather exposed today in a scarlet bikini, and cautioned herself to think carefully about what she said. Had someone divined the real nature of her marriage to Adam?
‘Um … I did think I was in love with someone before I met Adam, but …’
‘Oh, do tell me!’ Nicky sat up and crossed her legs, looking at Roz expectantly. ‘What was he like?’
‘He was the boy next door,’ Roz said rather ruefully. ‘We more or less grew up together, and because I didn’t have a mother, his mother was really good to me. And we started out being brotherly and sisterly to each other, but one day it … changed. Much to some people’s dismay,’ she added slowly.
‘Who?’ asked Nicky avidly.
‘His father mostly—well, his mother too.’
‘But why?’
Roz hesitated. ‘We were very young and … perhaps they were afraid I’d inherited some of the less stable facets of my grandfather’s character. He was rather hopeless with money, you see. As soon as it came his way he gambled it on horses or dogs.’
‘Then how come you inherited such a fabulous filly? I mean, on her breeding alone, if she breaks down tomorrow, which God forbid——but …’
‘Nicky!’ Roz exclaimed.
‘Sorry. Shouldn’t have even cherished the notion,’ Nicky said hastily, and added, ‘She certainly looks as sound as a bell, but her potential as a brood mare is enormous, with her bloodlines. Isn’t that one of Adam’s pet theories?’ She smiled suddenly. ‘If you’d been anyone else he might have married you just to get his hands on your horse … have I said something wrong?’
Roz disclaimed hurriedly.
‘Oh, good,’ Nicky said cheerfully. ‘I just thought you looked a bit odd all of a sudden. But to get back to the point—if you had such a spendthrift grandfather and no other background to speak of …’ She blushed and pulled a face of extreme embarrassment.
So much so that Roz had to laugh, and at the same time experience a feeling of relief that the drift of the conversation had altered.
‘Actually, your background has always been a bit of a mystery, Roz,’ Nicky added apologetically. ‘I mean, you could have knocked us all down with a feather when Milly broke the news about the marriage. We’d never even heard of you or known that he’d met you. It must have been love at first sight …’ she sighed.
‘Oh, there’s no mystery,’ said Roz, sensing danger again, and she added, ‘Adam knew my grandfather—he was a horse trainer, you see, and—well, it all came about over horses, Nimmitabel particularly, but her background is much more interesting than mine. It’s like a fairy tale, and anyway, I guess it is my background too.’
‘Oh good, I love a fairy story!’
So Roz embarked with relief on the story of how Nimmitabel’s dam, a champion race mare, had contracted a mystery virus and eventually been judged infertile as a result of it and finally sold at a dispersal sale as a hack when her owner had died. That was when Roz’s grandfather had been possessed of a quixotic impulse and bought her out of sentiment, remembering his wins on her, no doubt. He always remembered his wins but rarely his losses. And he’d brought her home to their Beenleigh property which was already overflowing with horses, most of them broken down, that he was trying to patch up to get to the races.
‘Oh my,’ he had said to Roz with tears in his eyes, ‘she was a bonny sight streaming past the winning post. It’s a terrible shame she can’t be bred from. But that’s life.’
Roz had enquired what they would do with her.
‘We’re going to treat her like the lady, the grand lady she is,’ he had replied, and so they had. ‘She was beautiful too,’ said Roz with a sigh. ‘Very gentle, but every inch an aristocrat.’
‘But if Amanda Belle—even I’ve heard of her racing deeds——was infertile how on earth did she have Nimmitabel?’
‘Well, there’s no doubt they tried desperately to get her in foal for about seven seasons in a row and possibly might have kept on trying if her owner hadn’t died and his estate been all sold. But seven years is a long time to persevere with a mare, and it must have looked hopeless, and we could only assume that time had finally healed the problem. But it came quite out of the blue to us. We didn’t even suspect she was in season when the drama occurred.’
‘So you didn’t send her to Kosciusko?’
‘No! We could never have afforded it even if we’d known she could conceive. What happened was that he was being floated to a new stud when the transport broke down virtually right outside our gates. And they had to take him off because he was kicking the truck to pieces and dreadfully stirred up, but
that proved to be a mistake, because they just couldn’t handle him.’
Nicky said, ‘Ah! I begin to see.’
‘Yes,’ Roz agreed wryly. ‘He broke his headstall, somehow got rid of the rearing bit and took off up our drive, which, as you can imagine, caused a major panic, because he’s worth a fortune.’
‘And you saw all this?’
‘Oh yes! One of the handlers had come up to the house to use the phone before Kosciusko broke loose. In fact there was quite a band of spectators. Michael—he was the boy next door—and his father and, fortunately as it turned out, the local policeman, although he’d come to see Grandad about a cow we had that had strayed. But to cut a long story short, Kosciusko found Amanda Belle in her paddock, broke through the fence to get to her, and when we all arrived, faint but pursuing, he was covering her.’
‘My God, how wonderfully romantic!’ exclaimed Nicky, her dark eyes glowing.
‘Well, it was and it wasn’t,’ said Roz. ‘Everyone was furious—at least his handlers were—and petrified he’d hurt himself and I suppose had visions of losing their jobs. And Grandad was livid about his precious Amanda Belle being treated so cavalierly …’ She broke off to smile. ‘He kept saying—my God, is that any way to treat a lady! If he’s hurt her!’
‘Had he?’
‘No, but the biggest miracle was he hadn’t hurt himself apart from some cuts and scratches. And after it was all over he allowed himself to be caught like a lamb. That was when everyone repaired to the house for a stiff drink.’ Roz paused. ‘And that was when Grandad surprised the life out of us all,’ she said reminiscently.
‘Go on,’ said Nicky after a time.
‘Well,’ Roz shrugged, ‘he insisted that the incident had to be recorded and reported. Not, he said to the handlers, because he wanted to lose them their jobs, in fact he’d go out of his way to corroborate that it had all been an unavoidable accident, but he said it had to be recorded that Kosciusko had served Amanda Belle in front of quite a few witnesses. Naturally they all recognised her name and were doubly upset when they remembered she was incapable of being got in foal. But he just kept saying, you never know, you never know … And the policeman agreed with him, so they didn’t have much choice.
‘I can remember thinking it was all a waste of time, but he was adamant, and he said afterwards that he’d just had this curious premonition during that tempestuous mating. The rest is history. Eleven months later Amanda Belle gave birth to Nimmitabel, although she died, and … Grandad died the night before.’
‘Tell me,’ Nicky said softly.
Roz stared unseeingly towards the sprinklers. ‘Our stables burnt down. Someone on a neighbouring property had started a grass fire, but the wind changed and before we even knew it was lit it was roaring towards our place and the stables were directly in its path. You’ve no idea how quickly a fire can move. We just didn’t have time to get all the horses out, but Grandad rescued Amanda Belle, then went back. He … he loved horses and he couldn’t stand hearing them. It was the smoke that got him. But his last words to me were—whatever you do, look after her and her foal, because it’s going to be a champion,’ she said huskily. ‘He was quite convinced of that from the moment he knew the miracle had happened and she was in foal to Kosciusko.’
‘Oh, Roz, how awful!’ Nicky said softly. ‘I’m sorry I made you remember. You must have nightmares about it.’
‘Sometimes,’ Roz admitted. ‘But … well, it helps to think he might have been right. Not that you can really tell until they race, but …’ She shrugged.
‘Well, at least you met Adam then,’ Nicky reflected, and dabbed away a tear.
‘I had met him once before,’ Roz told her. ‘When I was fourteen or fifteen, but the second time—well …’
‘You fell in love‘? How marvellous!’
‘Yes. Yes, it was.’
‘And you were still very young,’ Nicky said enthusiastically.
Roz glanced at her, but Nicky went on, ‘It’s really funny, you know, Roz—I’ve known you for two years now but hardly know anything about you, which makes me feel rather guilty, but Mum was mostly responsible for that.’
‘Oh?’ Roz raised her eyebrows.
‘Yes. In case you hadn’t realised, Mum adores Adam, but although you came as such a surprise, I think she must have approved of you almost straight away, because she warned us all off. I mean, she told us she didn’t want you to feel as if you were facing the Spanish Inquisition—which wasn’t precisely how she treated Louise, believe me, although I liked her, but probably the least said soonest mended about that. But it’s led to the curious situation of none of us knowing you very well—I feel I didn’t anyway until today. I’m so glad that’s changed now,’ Nicky finished warmly.
Roz sniffed and blinked. ‘So am I. Sorry …’
‘Oh, Roz,’ Nicky said softly, ‘you didn’t think we didn’t like you? It wasn’t that!’
‘No, I know—well, I hoped so. Oh, there’s Milly calling us for lunch. I hope you’re hungry, because she thinks you’re looking thin and plans to compensate, I suspect.’
It was over lunch that Jeanette mentioned she’d had a phone call from her mother to let her know that her elder sister had been safely delivered of a baby girl, her third child in four years but her first daughter. Roz immediately thought she detected a faintly wistful gleam in Jeanette’s eyes, and after consulting Milly, she suggested that Jeanette take a week off so she could visit her sister and help out with the rest of the family. Jeanette resisted for a time, but in the end was no match for both Milly and Roz.
‘You’re sure you’ll be all right without me?’ were her last words.
‘Quite sure,’ Roz said gravely but with an inward smile and a feeling of affection, and found herself reflecting that while she might not be pleasing Adam currently, his family and his staff appeared to be another matter. And she thought of the tears that had come with Nicky’s revelations earlier and the corresponding discovery of how much it meant to her to have the family’s approval.
Several things happened that evening.
Adam rang from Tokyo, and Richard and Amy and Angelo arrived to spend the evening.
‘Hang on—can you hang on a moment?’ Roz said breathlessly into the phone. ‘I’ll take this in your study. There’s too much noise here.’
‘Hello?’ she said moments later. ‘Adam?’
‘I’m here, Roz. You were right about the noise. Having a party?’
‘No! At least, I’m not, but Angelo and Amy and Richard have come to see Nicky and spend the evening, so it’s become rather like a party.’
He laughed down the line. ‘I can imagine! But you don’t have to sound guilty.’
‘I’m not,’ she said quickly. ‘How are you?’
‘Exhausted, to tell the truth. I’ve been on the go since the moment I arrived.’
‘Have you got the agency, do you think?’
‘Yes, but it will take another few days to tie up all the loose ends. How are you?’
‘Oh, congratulations,’ said Roz sincerely. Then, ‘I’m fine. Nicky and I are enjoying ourselves doing nothing much. Er … your mother’s coming down tomorrow to spend the day with us and Margaret rang up earlier to say she might pop in this week. Oh, Adam, you should have seen Nimmitabel this morning! Les organised a jump-out with three other two-year-olds including the Mirror-dot colt, but she was just too good for them and the time was sensational!’ She told him all the details.
‘No sign of shin soreness?’ he asked when she had finished.
‘No. Les is watching her like a hawk.’
‘Good.’
There was a short silence, then she asked him what time it was in Tokyo.
‘An hour earlier than it is at Little Werrington.’
‘Is it snowing?’
‘No, but it’s very cold. Why do you ask?’
‘I just wondered,’ she said softly. ‘Are you doing anything this evening?’
‘I think I�
�m about to be entertained in the time-honoured Japanese way.’
‘Do you mean …‘?’
‘Well, my hosts have been rather mysterious, but they did ask me if I’d ever seen a real geisha. By the way, Roz, before you imagine …’
‘I’m not imagining anything like that,’ she protested. ‘I’ve read all about geishas, and their primary purpose is to entertain you.’
‘Have you now?’ remarked Adam after a moment.
‘Yes, I have. I don’t quite know how it works with foreigners, but I’m sure they’re according you an honour. So don’t fall asleep, even if you can’t understand a word.’
‘No, ma’am!’ he said. ‘I’ll be on my best behaviour.’
Roz had to laugh and he laughed too. Then he said, ‘There’s someone at the door, so I guess my car has arrived. Sleep well.’
‘You too. And keep warm. Goodbye.’
Back in the den Roz found it hard to keep up with the high spirits of the others, but not only that. She felt jittery and nervous, as if her equilibrium had been mysteriously disrupted, and finally excused herself, not without some difficulty.
‘Roz! The night’s young yet,’ Nicky protested.
‘I know, but …’
‘Darling Roz, don’t desert us!’ This was Angelo. ‘Or are you telling us politely to hoof it?’
‘No! I’d love you to stay and enjoy yourselves, so please do. I’m just … tired.’
It was Richard who said gently, ‘I think Roz might be missing Adam, folks, as well as being tired, so back off. Goodnight, Roz. Are you sure you don’t mind us staying on?’
‘No, really I don’t,’ she said to him gratefully, and thought how nice he was.
But once in her bedroom she was forced to acknowledge the truth of his words. She was missing Adam, but it was worse. She was desperately trying not to think of him in the arms of some exquisitely beautiful accomplished geisha …
She put her hand over her mouth and blinked several times to stem tears of … what? Loneliness? Fright. Jealousy …?
Reluctant Wife Page 5