Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova

by Neil Skywalker

  Food and drinks

  Food and drinks are the second most expensive part of travelling. Drinking especially can ruin your budget. In a lot of countries, going out means spending more on drinks than on food and accommodation put together. In some places food will also be costly simply because there are just no cheap restaurants around or you’re sick of eating the same cheap food over and over. (For example: rice and noodles. They get boring pretty fast.)

  How to save money on food and drinks

  Food:

  • Eat lots of street food. Your stomach will get used to it eventually, and going to more expensive places is no guarantee of not spending a day or two on the toilet. Stop washing your hands every 10 minutes and build up some tolerance.

  • Eat the breakfast included at your hostel. It will be a shit breakfast, but hey, it’s free. Personally I can’t stand those toast-with-jam breakfasts and will eat out, but if you’re really counting pennies this is one time not to imitate me.

  • Cook for yourself if you are in more expensive countries. Again, this isn’t what I do, but if you can it’ll save you money. I almost never cook and will go to a fast food place or street market instead to get my belly filled. I’m lazy and don't know how.

  • Never refuse when people you meet offer you food. It’s rude and bad for your wallet.

  • When dating girls in poor countries, you will be the one paying for everything (though exceptions apply). Bite the bullet on this one. You can’t expect them to pay for their food and drinks when they make three dollars a day. It shows no respect if you ask them to split the bill and you will make a fool of yourself. Don’t go overboard with this either; when a girl eats rice seven days a week and wants to go to a five-star restaurant with you, dump that gold digger. She has to like you, not your wallet.

  • Find places with cheap food. Chinese restaurants are a good option. Buffets and places where you get free food are another.

  • Take a girl out to McDonalds; just say you haven’t had a Big Mac in months and you’re craving it. If the girl really likes you, she won’t mind.

  • Go eat at a cheap local place and tell the girl you love her country and their tasty food; don’t mention you’ve been eating rice in every possible form for the last year. Look excited when reading the menu.

  Drinks:

  • As said before: drinking can kill your budget faster than a speeding bullet. The best solution by far is to stop drinking alcohol. This is also the most boring and unsociable solution.

  • Drink water instead of Coca Cola during the day; it’s much cheaper, healthier and better for your teeth. Stay away from juices too; they’re full of sugar and always pricy. And why drink coffee at a Starbucks when McDonalds sells it for a quarter of the price. A bottle of water and three candy bars or a bag of chips will get you through the day if you have a decent breakfast and know you can get a big meal in the evening.

  • Find out when the happy hours are or get drinks for free.

  • Drink in if you’re the heavy drinking type. If you want to pick up girls, go out and drink moderately. No girl likes a slurring apeman.

  • Do not go to expensive clubs with hefty entrance fees and 10-dollar drinks. It’s no guarantee of anything. Clubs like that are frequently used by prostitutes or bitchy gold diggers who are not looking for broke backpackers.

  • Don’t drink out of boredom in trains, planes and busses. Find somebody to talk to and you might get some free drinks.

  • And last but certainly not the least: Charm girls into buying you drinks.

  Transportation:

  Transportation is the last major reason why your wallet is always empty. The rule is that the slower you travel, the cheaper it gets. Unfortunately, we cannot teleport from one place to another so we have to take a bus, train or airplane to get there. You can live as cheap as you want, but if a ticket to some destination costs 50 dollars, you just have to bear with it.

  How to save money on transportation.

  • Hitchhiking is the cheapest way to get from A to B; I don’t have much experience in it so far, so you’ll want to find out someone else’s advice on this.

  • Local transport is always the cheapest paying option and most of the time the most fun as well. Ask locals where to find the bus station and how much they pay for a ticket if it’s not posted. Avoid travel agents. The downside is that it may take a lot of time and sometimes have a lot of inconveniences.

  • Bargain hard anywhere and anytime. Taxi and motorbike drivers are especially notorious for ripping you off. Walk off at the first sign of overpricing and most of the time the prices suddenly drop 50% or more.

  • Walk around; you can easily do 4 or 5 kilometers an hour, and it’s a great chance to meet people on the streets – and who knows how one thing can lead to another. You will not meet girls sitting in a taxicab.

  • A bus is almost always cheaper than a train and a train is almost always cheaper than an airplane. Travel slow and save money. Read the stories and see how I met some girls on buses and trains.

  • Plan ahead. Book airplanes online and as far ahead as possible. This is a great money-saver. Use budget airlines and look for the hidden costs. Strange advice from a guy who almost always travels by the day or week, but I spent way too much money on this.

  Some people keep a budget diary or have a strict limit on how much they spend each day. I tried both for a short while and must say it’s really hard. The diary is the easier one; you can see how much money you are spending on average and where it’s going and budget your money (or change your habits) accordingly.

  Keeping to a strict daily budget is very hard because you will have so many setbacks all the time. Everything will be more expensive than you calculated and you will have costs you never thought about.

  Does this all mean you can never stay in a fancy room, eat a descent and tasty meal, smash 50 dollars on drinks? Of course not; you’.re travelling to enjoy yourself and have a good time. And a good time is the reason you went away in the first place.

  Just keep in mind that the more you spend the shorter your trip will be and the sooner you will be back at a boring job.

  What to bring on your trip

  Backpack:

  • A good durable backpack. I bought a solid military backpack (Berghaus Vulcan 2) from a guy working in a military airbase nearby my hometown. It was brand new but I only paid 100 euros for it instead of the retail price of 270 Euro. I wonder why…

  • 2 small padlocks for your backpack. You can also use them for locking a hostel locker

  • A couple of karabiners, multipurpose.

  • A hidden pocket, to wear under your clothes. Not a money belt, those things are for chumps and are good only for a pair of sweaty balls. An experienced pickpocket can still take it from you.

  • First aid kit, some bandages, tape and other stuff. Just buy a cheap set. You’ll hardly use it. Buy some valium in a cheap country without prescription. And take whatever (vitamins) pills you need.

  • Cable with lock, so you can lock your backpack to a (bunk) bed, steel pipe or something. There’s hardly any control on who walks in and out of hostels and your room there. It would be easy to just grab a bag and walk out of there.

  • Some plastic bags for your flip flops, clothes, laundry, shoes and stuff. Bring some solid ones

  • Sheet bag, for times you’re sleeping in disgusting places, dirty beds or when the guesthouse or hostel doesn’t supply sheets, which happens a lot in poorer countries.

  Clothing:

  • Jeans, for going out or colder countries. Buy a normal pair, not one all cut up with holes. It might be normal back home but that does not mean it will be where you’re going. Not to mention that the cut-up ones will wear out even faster.

  .

  • Shorts. Buy some cool fashionable shorts with some big side pockets, big enough to put a bottle of a book in.

  • A beanie, for colder days or for looking cool.

  • Swim shor
ts. Not shorter than knee-length, no speedos or other gay-looking stuff. Not that there’s anything wrong with gays, but we’re aiming for girls. Avoid the Borat look.

  • Several pairs of underwear. You can buy cheap knock-offs in a lot of countries if you need to replace them. Buy tight, cool boxers, not Sponge Bob or other funny-looking undies. Nothing kills the mood faster than a girl bursting into hysterical laughter when you take your trousers down.

  • 5 or 6 T-shirts. Don't buy the same shirts everyone is wearing. I’m sick of those shirts and so are girls. Make sure you’re not out of style but don’t look like you’re slavishly following fashion either. Personally I bought shirts with tough-looking Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson cowboy prints and a few surfer brand shirts. Got nothing but compliments on it.

  • A pair of sneakers. Nikes, Adidas, Puma; not with too many flashy colors, you’re not in high school anymore. Great for hiking the city or outdoors.

  • 2 pairs of flip flops, one pair for outside and one pair for in the shower. You do not want to touch the shower floor in a hostel in a third-world country.

  • A pair of black dancing shoes, to get into the clubs and not look like a backpacker bum.

  • A jacket, for colder or rainy days. Don't bring rain clothing; you look dumb and that’s why they invented umbrellas.

  • A good shirt for going out to clubs. Buy a nice one, but nothing too flashy. No funny or crazy prints.

  • 2 fluffy towels. Don't buy those blue easy dry towels, they starting stinking after a while and aren’t comfortable at all.

  Toiletries:

  • A toiletries bag, one you can hang on a hook or door. Many showers have no hooks or anything.

  • Toothbrush, shampoo, soap + soapbox, night cream.

  • A razor, not a shaving machine. Man up!

  • A comb, scissors

  • Creams and whatever stuff you need to keep you looking young, World travelling is tough.

  • A shitload of condoms. Don't be an idiot! In fact you should have condoms in every pair of jeans, shorts and bag you have. In Asia and other parts of the world some girls have been around the block, no matter what they tell you. Never leave your room without a few rubbers.

  Technology:

  • A laptop. I can’t travel without one, being a blogger and internet junkie. I have mixed feelings about it. After I bought the laptop, I did a lot less sightseeing and socializing. But it’s damn handy to have one.

  • A laptop lock cable, just lock it to your bed or something solid, so you can leave the room shortly or protect it from being stolen when you’re passed out (or occupied) in bed.

  • A phone, for texting and calling all the chicks you’re going to meet. I have a phone with a qwerty keyboard. The keyboard is priceless. In countries like Indonesia and especially the Philippines you‘ll get 50 to 100 texts a day if you’re a player.

  • A camera with video function, for all the beautiful pictures you’re going to take worldwide and naughty videos with girls. I have a Sony Cybershot. Don't be shy to send me your action shots.

  • A good pair of headphones. You will spend countless hours on trains and buses, you need some quality headphones.

  • A world electricity converter plug. Make sure it has every possible plug option.

  Other Stuff

  • A cigarette lighter. Anyone will do as long it looks normal. Don't use a Zippo, those things are for sailors and poseurs.

  • A passport. Leaving aside the EU, you can’t leave the country, or get into a new one, without one. Preferably a big one with extra pages. My business passport has 64 pages and most of them are full.

  • Money, preferably in dollars or Euros. Don't bring travel cheques. Those things are worthless in a lot of countries. I never used them.

  • ATM card. Check with your bank and make sure you can use it overseas; check the costs of use abroad.

  • Some bracelet and necklaces. There’s lots of cheap cool-looking local stuff you can buy anywhere you go.

  • A deck of cards, for drinking games. Only play drinking games when there are girls around. Otherwise you’re getting drunk for no reason.

  • A spork, a spoon, fork and sometimes knife all in one.

  • A lot of passport photos, you’ll need them at border crossings and embassies a lot.

  • A bit of duct tape, multipurpose

  • Tissues, for toilet emergencies. Yes, you will have them too. It’s best is to always carry a small pack anywhere you go.

  • Sun block and anti-mosquito stuff

  • Earplugs, for dorm rooms

  Stuff I paid a lot for, never used and chucked out.

  • A flight bag, hammock, walking shoes for mountains, walking sandals, drinking flask (the ones you see in the movies), travel alarm, mosquito net, T3 oil, camera holder, an eating bowl, clothing line (actually you can use floss for that), multitool, travel pillow, survival book, emergency blanket, Maglite flashlite, knife (actually got stolen), calculator, pepper and salt shaker, washing powder, can opener, electric razor, books and paperwork.

  So there you have it, that’s all you need. But the most important one is free: a big smile on your face!

  You can also bring your own pots and pans, a sleeping bag and a tent and hike outside the city and find a place to camp while you cook your own food. I’m sure that there are lots of hot Latina chicks wearing a nice dress and high heels who want to join you in your tent for a while and make hot love all night long

  .

  In case you couldn’t tell. That was a joke.

  Conquering the language barrier

  One of the major problems a travelling player or regular traveler has abroad is conquering the language barrier. Although the best way would be learning the language of the country you’ll be in before you go, this is nearly impossible for most people. In my case, first of all I didn't have the time to learn a language for every country I visited, and second I didn't want to either. Learning and mastering a language is time-consuming and difficult.

  So, here’s my trick list to still have some fun with girls who only speak a few words of English or even girls who speak good English but who you want to surprise with some funny words. A lot of times some of these words will become nicknames or recurring jokes. You can use these words in any language, so translate them if necessary. It’s best to ask a local for translation to make sure you get the right words. Sometimes the dictionaries don’t get it right, or there are regional variations you’re not aware of. You don’t want to be the guy who uses “Baise” in France, thinking it means “kiss” when it actually means “fuck”.

  The trick is to actually pronounce the words very well so that you’re not misunderstood. I asked some hot girls working in hotels or stores to translate the words for me into their language and that was already fun. Once they hear the words you want to translate you’ve already got pre-selection going, because these are the words a player would use. I had my friend Gustavo from Chile translate this list to Spanish and it works fine.

  The word for “shorty”, which in Spanish is: “Enana” (which literally means “dwarf girl”) is golden. I’m a tall guy, 1.88 meters, so most girls are way shorter than me. I never used it without getting a big laugh out of it and girls punching me in the arm. From there you can transition to other words, saying she’s aggressive or bossy or whatnot; use your imagination. My other friend Nico taught me the sentence “Te quiero dar un beso”, which means “I want to kiss you”. This one is also golden. If the girl’s given you some signs of attraction, she will kiss you 4 out of 5 times. Booyaaa!!

  I’ll use my Indonesian list as an example because that’s where I came up with this technique. In Asia, where the local guys are polite, this is dynamite. Go there and playfully insult your targets. Remember to say everything with a smile! I’ve added the Spanish translations too.

  Remember that this is only a basic EXAMPLE list. The more you know of the actual language, the more you will enjoy your trip and the e
asier it will be to get laid in that country because it doesn’t limit your chances to only English-speaking girls.

  My round-the-world trip in numbers

  In 2 years and 8 months I visited 42 countries, some for a (very) short time and some for a long time. I went through Customs 67 times, including 2 very tricky ones in Kazakhstan and Russia. I took 9 boats, 33 (overnight) trains, 37 airplanes and 94 (overnight) buses. Besides that, I took hundreds of minivans, local buses, taxis, tuk tuks, motorbike taxis and rickshaws. I have slept in countless guesthouses, hostels, houses and even on the street once or twice.

  I have slept in 188 different beds and that’s without counting the many changes of beds in hostels and sleeping on overnight busses. Quite an accomplishment for a guy who hated sleeping in beds other than his own back home.

  Google Maps calculates that I travelled 120,021 kilometers, but that’s in straight lines, so the real distance must be at least 150,000 km. That’s nearly 4 times the circumference of the earth.

  I’m fluent in Dutch and English and can manage in German. Besides that I have communicated in 24 other languages, most of the times with hands, feet and a notebook. I learned to speak some Russian and Spanish along the way and also learned quite a lot of Filipino, Indonesian and Portuguese words. I had sex with girls of 25 different nationalities and kissed dozens of others. I paid with 36 different currencies and filled 39 pages of my passport with stamps.