But that reckoning was a long way off. First she had to get through the next few weeks, days, hours and minutes. Damir had hurt her. She’d liked him, or at least she’d liked the person she had thought he was, and she’d thought that he liked her too. More than liked. She had known she was falling for him, and had hoped that maybe he felt the same way. Thought he’d seen something in her that nobody else ever had, nobody apart from her family and Izzy.
‘Oh, Izzy,’ she whispered. ‘You wouldn’t have made such a stupid mistake, you were always better at reading people than me. What am I going to do? I finally fell in love, and it all went to pieces.’
In love. Not with the charming wooer or the tycoon but with the man she’d thought he was inside. A man with vulnerabilities and hurts, a thoughtful, funny man who made her body sing and her heart hope. Even now, she couldn’t help but think that that man existed, if only Damir could trust himself to care, to let people in.
But the fact remained that he had played her. He’d only ever approached her because of who she was, what she could do for him. She had opened up, shown all her vulnerabilities and fears to a man who had always planned to betray her.
She put her cup down decisively. Enough. Tomorrow was Izzy’s birthday and she had promised her friend that she would celebrate. The B&B was only half-full, thanks to the wedding party cancellation, but the café-bar was as busy as ever. There was plenty for her to do to keep her mind off Damir. So she should get up and do it.
‘Lily?’ Ana was calling and slowly Lily got to her feet. ‘Could you get the reception desk? We have some walk-ins asking if we have a room.’
‘On my way,’ she called back, straightening her shoulders and preparing her best hostess smile. Guests, work, keeping busy. That was the only cure for a broken heart, she knew. She just had to hope it worked.
She entered the villa through the side door, dodging through the hot, busy kitchen, emerging into the bright wide hallway. Three people were waiting by the reception desk and as they turned recognition shot through her, followed by a relief so deep it almost floored her. ‘Mum? Josip? Marija? What are you doing here?’
‘We didn’t want you to spend Izzy’s birthday alone and when we realised the cancellation meant you had room for unexpected guests, we decided to come and join you,’ her mother said.
‘I’ll always have room for you,’ Lily stepped into her mother’s arms and allowed herself to be held for several long minutes before hugging Josip, realising that he had come home after all these years for her. Gratitude filled her as she kissed his cheek.
‘Marija’s room has been kept clean and ready just in case she decided to come and check on us, and lucky for you two the best room is still available thanks to our flaky bride. I’ll get Luka to take your bags up. Are you hungry? Of course you are. Let’s find us all something to eat. I am so grateful you are here.’
* * *
They spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and showing Lily’s mother around Lokvar, planning a few days of sightseeing for her—and for Josip who had left a very different place all those years ago. The next day, Izzy’s birthday, they visited the Old Town. Memories of Damir were around every corner, but Lily resolutely pushed them away, determined to make new memories with her family, not dwell on old painful ones. During the day she tentatively raised her ideas for a foundation in Izzy’s memory, grateful for her family’s advice and input.
That evening Lily had planned a private dinner, tasking Antun to make a welcome-home feast of Dalmatian classics and setting up a table on the side terrace, away from the crowded and noisy bar. She was the first to change and come back downstairs and, grateful for a moment’s reflective solitude, Lily wandered over to the swing seat and rocked gently, trying to absorb all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, the last few weeks.
‘Lily, are you all right?’
She looked up at the sound of Josip’s voice and smiled, immediately moving up to make space for him, leaning against his reliable solidness. ‘Of course. I am thrilled you are here. Thank you.’
‘You needed me,’ he said simply. And that right here was Josip distilled, what she and her mother needed, he provided. Somehow, Lily had never really appreciated that for over half her life she’d actually had the stability she craved. Josip had her back, always.
And this weekend he had proved his love by coming back to the country he had fled from all those years ago for her. She squeezed his arm. ‘Has it been very hard? It can’t be easy, seeing all your old haunts.’
‘Haunts is the right word, there are ghosts everywhere.’ He sighed, rubbing the dark stubble on his square, capable chin. ‘But it has been good for me to come back and face them. I let it go on too long. It’s not easy, walking around and listening to people talk about the city as a TV set, discussing fictional violence when last time I was here war was all too real, but the city has healed and moved on. I should too.’
‘Easier said than done.’
‘Always.’ He paused. ‘You know I don’t like to pry, Lily, your secrets are yours, but is Damir Kozina the reason you’ve been so quiet, the reason for those shadows under your eyes?’
‘There are no secrets on Lokvar,’ she said, attempting to make light of the question.
‘No secrets between my mother and Ana.’
‘I suppose not. We were together and now we’re not. These things happen.’
They rocked in silence for a moment before Josip spoke again. ‘What’s he like, Damir? Last time I saw him he was little more than a baby with determined eyes and a very stubborn will.’
Lily stared out to sea, searching for the right words. ‘He’s unsettled,’ she said at last. ‘He thinks the next project, the next deal will make him happy. Of course it won’t, but he’s too afraid to work out what will. Too afraid of his own feelings to try or to trust.’ She smiled then. ‘I see it because I was similar once, not that long ago.’
‘His dad was the same. But his father, Damir’s grandfather, drove him hard. He was a difficult, bitter man, always wanted more, to be the best, to be in charge. He coveted this place, made several offers after the war, but it’s been in our family for generations. My family would never consider it. In time Damir’s papa became the same, obsessed with money and status, forgetting about the things that really matter.’
‘When did you stop being friends?’ Lily couldn’t stop her curious questions, thirsty to know more about the man who somehow had crept into her heart.
Josip rocked the swing a few times before answering. ‘We drifted apart rather than any one definitive moment. I wasn’t here, of course, that didn’t help, no internet or instant messages or texts in those days. And we didn’t understand each other. After all, everything that made me want to leave Croatia made him want to stay. I tried to outrun my ghosts, he tried to build over his.’
‘Damir may make his father and grandfather’s dreams come true yet. You don’t want the villa and although I considered buying it, even with Izzy’s legacy I wouldn’t have enough, and Damir will outbid anyone else. I hope it makes him happy, although I hate the thought of seeing this place pulled down for one of his resorts. I’ll have to look for somewhere else to base the foundation if that happens.’
‘Would you buy it, if you could? Would you stay?’
‘I would.’ The words surprised her as she spoke them and she turned to Josip, eyes wide. ‘I would! I’d have to diversify to make the villa pay through the off season, and I’d have to learn Croatian and to sail, and to cook a little for emergencies, and to learn to mix more than a gin and tonic, but I would. The last few months I’ve met such interesting people, it’s a lot more fun than legal sub-clauses!
‘And most importantly there’s the setting. Waking up to this view, walking on the beach has brought me the kind of peace I didn’t think existed. I’d love to stay. But it’s a dream. I know that. Marija needs to fund
her retirement and this is prime real estate, she needs to maximise what she can make from it. I just hope she puts clauses in to limit development. I don’t know Croatian planning law but I would try and help if she wanted.’
‘What she wants is for the villa to stay in the family, and you are her family. You’re my daughter, Lily, you have been since the day I collected you from your grandparents to come and live with me and your mother, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. I hope you know that. If you want to stay then the villa is yours, we both agreed that it should be. It wouldn’t surprise me if this wasn’t her plan all along.’
Lily stilled, trying to process his words. ‘And you wouldn’t mind?’
‘Me? Not at all. Although I would have one condition, that you have a room for your mother and me when we need it. Now I’ve finally come back, I know I can’t stay away so long. London is my home now, but Lokvar is part of me.’
‘Always,’ she promised. ‘Always.’
‘And Damir?’
Lily looked down at her hands. ‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly. ‘I don’t know if I can ever trust him. He lied to me, and that’s not something I can easily dismiss. It takes a lot for me to trust, and knowing I got him wrong, that’s hard for me. But he has his own problems, I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again. That’s okay. I’ve survived much worse.’
‘You were always stronger than you gave yourself credit for. And if Damir doesn’t see that then he doesn’t deserve you. I just want you to be happy, Lily.’
‘I am,’ she told him. ‘At least, I have the tools to be. I will always miss Izzy, always, and I can’t deny that I’ve been bruised by what happened with Damir, but at least I know I’m capable of wanting a relationship. He gave me that at least.’
Josip smiled and dropped a kiss on top of her head before heading back inside to find her mother. Lily held her smile until he’d gone and then let it slide off her face. She hadn’t lied, she was ready to embrace her new life, the opportunities she had been given, the opportunities she wanted to create. But getting over Damir was going to take time. She just had to be patient and hope it didn’t hurt for too long.
CHAPTER TWELVE
LILY GOT TO her feet and raised her glass, smiling at her family, her heart filled with love for these people who had travelled over a thousand miles to spend this day with her. Some things in her new life might have gone horribly wrong, but she still had so much to be thankful for.
‘I’m not going to make a long speech you’ll be glad to hear,’ she said. ‘But I do want to thank you with all my heart for coming and celebrating Izzy’s birthday here with me today. I want to thank you for all the support you’ve offered in helping me find a way to remember and honour her. I especially want to thank Marija for giving me a chance to start anew and Ana for being so patient while I learned the ropes.’ She paused, gathering her thoughts, catching first Josip’s, then Marija’s eyes, both full of confidence and belief. Belief in her.
‘As you know, Lokvar, Fire Cove and this villa are very special places. I came here broken, and they healed me. And that gift is one I want to share with other people who need it, who need a break, to find out who they are and what they’re capable of. I’m so happy that I will be able to see that happen.
‘I had assumed that my stay would be short, one summer only, but I’ve been given the opportunity to try and make a home here and that feels more right than I could ever have imagined. Sorry, Ana, but we need to restart those Croatian lessons. Thank you all again, I hope you will visit me here often.’ She looked up at the stars. ‘Let’s raise one final toast to Izzy.’
‘To Izzy,’ they chorused. Lily looked at each face in turn, her heart twisting with affection. Her mother, at peace after so many troubled years, was gazing at her with pride, Marija’s smile was smug as if she had planned this very outcome—and maybe she had—while Josip looked more relaxed than he had in a long time.
There was still a lot to decide, a lot to organise, but she had a way forward. This move was nowhere in her life plans, but it felt right.
As she sank back into her seat, the whole table quietened and everyone stared at something—or someone—behind her. Lily felt his presence before she turned around, every nerve and sinew springing into life. She turned slowly to see Damir leaning against a tree, his hands in his pockets. He was formally dressed in one of his devastating suits, the tailored cut outlining the breadth of his shoulders and the length of his legs, but stubble shadowed his mouth and the hollows under his eyes mirrored hers.
‘I’m sorry to interrupt,’ he said. He sounded completely at ease, but his jaw was tight and his expression hooded. She swallowed, doing her best to seem as relaxed as him.
‘That’s okay,’ she said. ‘Mum, Josip, everyone, this is Damir. He owns the big hotel by the harbour.’ She paused, not knowing what to say, what to do. Yell at him, cry, ignore him, throw him out? In the end good manners took over. ‘Why don’t you join us for a drink?’
She could sense her mother looking at him curiously, almost see Josip’s protective hackles rising. Meanwhile Marija was leaning back in her chair, her bright eyes fixed on her neighbour speculatively.
Damir smiled. ‘Thank you.’ But he made no attempt to join them. ‘Actually, there’s something I need to say first.’
Lily couldn’t read him, he was so rigid, his jaw set and eyes determined. ‘Marija, last year I offered you twice what the villa was worth and you turned me down. I’d like to renew that offer today. Here in front of witnesses.’
The disappointment that flooded over Lily almost drowned her. He wasn’t here for her, of course he wasn’t. He was here for the villa. He knew her thoughts and dreams and yet he had marched in to hijack her remembrance dinner. Her hopes that there was a better man inside the ruthless tycoon were just that. Hopes. She could almost physically feel her heart break, an actual crack so loud she couldn’t believe the whole table hadn’t reacted. Nothing mattered to him but a deathbed promise and ambition, and woe betide anyone or anything who got in the way.
Her hands clenched on her glass. She shouldn’t see it as a personal betrayal, she had known who he was. But like a fool she’d hoped that where she was concerned he could be better. She’d hoped she’d mattered. She’d hoped he’d fallen for her the way she’d fallen for him. But maybe he was incapable of that kind of feeling for anyone or anything that wasn’t bricks and mortar.
‘Damir…’ She trailed off. She wanted to tell him that he was too late, that the villa was being given to her, that some things were more important than money. But it wasn’t her place to say it. He was offering Marija a small fortune. Lily had to let her grandmother decide for herself.
‘I want to buy the villa,’ he repeated. ‘For Lily. So that she can help children like her friend, so that she can make a difference.’
Hang on a minute. What had he just said? She was on her feet without realising it. ‘You want to do what?’
Her family were almost unnaturally silent, as if their volume button had been turned off, looking from her to Damir, like spectators at a tennis match.
Damir took a step closer. ‘I want to give the villa to you. I want you to live your dreams, Lily, whatever they may be. I want to help you live your dreams if you’ll let me. I’m sorry I’m so late, I know this day is hard for you. But this is my gift to you. In memory of your friend. If you’ll take it.’
The whole scenario felt unreal, like she was on stage only she had no idea of her lines or what happened next.
‘I…’ She had to get them away from their audience. ‘Come with me.’
Lily jumped to her feet and marched away from the table and away from Damir towards the gate leading to the beach. She knew he was following her, that he would have followed her even without her instruction.
She didn’t speak until they were out of earshot and then she turned. ‘What’s going on?’
> * * *
This was it. This was his chance. He’d never felt so nervous in all his life. As if as all his happiness hinged on the next five minutes. And it did.
Damir took a deep breath and looked at Lily. She looked utterly beautiful in a flowery maxi dress, her hair caught up in a loose knot, tendrils caressing her cheeks. His chest ached with all he hadn’t said, all he’d repressed. ‘I love you.’ It wasn’t the speech he had prepared, but it was everything, it was all he that he had. Lily took half a step backwards, clasping her hands in front of her.
‘I don’t understand, where is this coming from?’
‘I love you, Lily.’ Now he’d finally said it, Damir was more emboldened, the words flowing naturally. ‘I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I love you. I think I have from the very first. From when I saw you here shouting defiantly at the sea.’
‘From when you saw me and tried to figure out a way to use me,’ she said, and he nodded.
‘I did. And I am sorrier for that than I can say. But underneath the plans and the calculations and deceptions, there was something more, something driving me towards you, and that was terrifying. When you’ve spent as long as I have trying not to feel, you’ll do anything to keep things that way, including lying to yourself.’
‘Last time I saw you, you said we were just having fun.’
He grimaced. ‘By then I had stopped lying to myself but I lied to you instead. I wanted you to walk away, you deserved so much more than I could give you. I thought that was the right thing to do.’
‘And now?’ She sounded cool, distant, but her fingers betrayed her emotion, twisting together, her eyes were bright with tears. Damir couldn’t hold himself back any longer, couldn’t restrain himself from offering her comfort, and he closed the short distance between them to take her hands, tilting her chin so he could look into her face, try and read her thoughts.
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