Hamburger America

by George Motz

  Order a hamburger at Johnnie’s and it comes standard with onions smashed in. In the old days, onion was used in a burger to stretch the day’s meat and to add flavor, but Steve told me, “Back then it was a lot of onion and a little meat.”

  The grillman takes a ball of fresh-ground chuck, slaps it on the grill, covers it with thin-sliced onions, and starts pressing the patty until the onion and red meat are one. The thin patty cooks on the hot griddle until the beef has a crunchy char and the onions are caramelized. As it nears doneness, a white squishy bun is placed on the burger, softened by onion steam. The burger is served with pickles on the side only. All other condiments are self-serve.

  Steve started working at Johnnie’s for then owner Bruce Otis at age 12, over 40 years ago. He and Marty (from Sid’s Diner) worked at the grill at the same time and have remained friends. “It’s not like it used to be,” Steve said, referring to the cutthroat competition in the early days between rival burger stands in El Reno. “If I need some sacks (paper bags), I’ll call Marty. We try to help each other.”

  If you really want to experience El Reno at its peak, show up in town on the first Saturday in May. That’s when this proud town just west of Oklahoma City celebrates Burger Day. Thirty-thousand people descend on El Reno for live music, a car show, and a public construction of the “World’s Largest Onion-Fried Burger.” The three main burger outposts, Sid’s, Robert’s, and Johnnie’s, all within a block of each other, operate at beyond capacity. “That day we’ll have a six-block line for burgers and forty employees,” Steve told me.

  Steve has three sons and plans to bring them up in the business if they are interested, but makes a point to tell them his secret to success. “I tell them if you are going to own one of these you have to come down and talk to the people.” But he doesn’t plan on ceding control to anyone just yet. “If I’m going to do something the rest of my life, I want it to be here.” Like I said, Steve is a dedicated man.

  MY FAVORITE SIDES

  On my ten-year journey to the best hamburgers in the nation, I came across a few regional treats that I just could not pass up. Here’s a short list of the not-to-be-missed sides you’ll find while burgering your way through America. I didn’t include fries because most burgers come with them anyway. These are the sides, drinks, and desserts you would likely miss out on if I didn’t alert you to their greatness.

  Steak Fingers—Harden’s Hamburgers, Tulsa, OK

  Owner Rick West made me do it. After polishing off his double cheeseburger, he presented his battered steak fingers and I somehow managed to finish them too. The best I’ve ever had.

  Frickles—The Meers Store & Restaurant, Meers, OK

  Joe Maranto is constantly adding things to his menu and this one is a winner. I sat with him recently, a basket of his new deep-fried pickles between us and he said, “I can’t stop eating them!” Neither could I.

  Banana Cream Pie—The Apple Pan, Los Angeles, CA

  This is the king of all banana cream pies. Reserve your slice with one of the countermen before you bite into your burger.

  Cheese Curds—Dotty Dumpling’s Dowry, Madison, WI

  These are a must-have on a burger tour of Madison. Skip the fries and get some curds, a treat whose distant cousin is the over-processed mozzarella stick. You’ll never look at hot cheese the same way again.

  Flan—El Mago De Las Fritas, West Miami, FL

  This is, unquestionably, the BEST flan I’ve ever eaten, period.

  Onion Rings—Crown Burger, Salt Lake City, UT

  Made by hand in a private, windowless basement room. Amazing dipped in Utah’s favorite fry sauce.

  Fried Pies—Phillips Grocery, Holly Springs, MS

  Basically a skillet-fried, fruit-stuffed piecrust. Owner Larry Davis is tired of making these tasty Southern treats—so get them soon before he gives up.

  Witch Doctor—What-A-Burger Drive-In, Mooresville, NC

  A sweet and savory soda drink that is topped off with sliced pickles. Sounds gross but it’s so good.

  Peanut Butter Chocolate Shake—Sid’s Diner, El Reno, OK

  After inhaling two of Marty Hall’s beautiful onion-fried burgers, this was the last thing I needed. I managed to finish it though, knowing that it would be a while before I’d taste something this great again.

  Cinnamon Coke—Zaharakos Ice Cream Parlor and Museum, Columbus, IN

  Mixed by a real soda jerk at this perfectly restored ice cream parlor, this drink has no equal.

  Onion Rings—Bobo’s Drive-In, Topeka, KS

  Lightly greasy oniony goodness. In a word—sublime.

  Raspberry Lime Rickey—Mr. Bartley’s Burger Cottage, Cambridge, MA

  A mix of seltzer, sugar, raspberry, and lime syrup. Refreshing, crisp, and cool, it’s the perfect accompaniment to Bartley’s large, flavor-packed burgers.

  LINDA-MAR DRIVE-IN

  1614 WEST 51 ST ST | TULSA, OK 74107

  918-446-6024

  WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/LINDAMARDRIVEIN

  MON–SAT 11 AM–8 PM

  Oklahoma has no shortage of great burger joints and Tulsa is no exception. It was very difficult to choose from the bounty of burger options in Tulsa but this tiny, bright yellow and red painted cinderblock box stood out. That may be because their signature burger, “The Westside,” is a double-meat double cheeseburger served on Texas Toast and is a sight to behold.

  Linda-Mar sits just outside the cloverleaf where I-44 meets Route 75. The neighborhood is called the Westside and when I asked manager Tiffany, “What is The Westside?” referring to the burger, she told me, “We’re just a close-knit group over here.”

  The place is spotless and the décor is NASCAR-themed with an image of Winston Cup champion Rusty Wallace’s Blue Deuce taking up one entire wall of the dining room. There are also framed shots of dirt track racecars everywhere, some bearing the Linda-Mar logo. Owner Mike McCutchen, who at one point was an owner at Tulsa Speedway, used to sponsor a Sprint racecar team. Not coincidentally, his brother, Danny, was the driver and the entire McCutchen family worked on the team. Today, Mike owns two bars, an automotive shop, and Linda-Mar.

  The restaurant opened as Warren’s in the early ’60s and around 1970 was sold to the bun supplier, Walt Cook. He named the restaurant after his two daughters, Linda and Margaret, and eventually sold it to his son-in-law, Jerry McCutchen. Various members of the McCutchen family have owned and run Linda-Mar over the past 40 years, with Danny nearly running it into the ground. In 2009, Mike stepped in to take the reins at the restaurant because, as he put it, “He was sick of it. He had let it go downhill.” Under Danny it had been open for business only 2 hours a day, 5 days a week. “Everywhere people were bitching about the hours and asking why it was not open on Saturdays,” Mike told me, “So I said, ‘To hell with that,’ and took it over from Danny. I went in, gutted it, and cleaned it up.” Mike also expanded the menu, the hours, and changed the work ethic in the kitchen. “I always tell the kids [that work at Linda-Mar], ‘Every time you cook something, make it like you would for yourself.’”

  Linda-Mar uses fresh beef from Tulsa’s favorite meatpacker Tulsa Beef and they make quarter-pound patties at the restaurant every morning with their own patty machine. The machine makes the patties wide and flat so on the well-seasoned flattop they cook quickly. “The Westside” comes with tomato, shredded lettuce, pickles, mustard, and mayo by request. It also comes with diced onion that is cooked next to your patties on the flattop.

  The Westside is a colossal pile of cheesy, greasy goodness. The major difference between a regular double cheeseburger and The Westside is in the Texas toast. The thick-sliced, regional favorite is brushed with butter on both sides and toasted directly on the flattop with the patties. A burger bun only gets toasted on one side whereas the Texas toast gets toasted on both sides. The Westside also comes with not two but four slices of gooey American cheese. It’s a lot to handle but not as much of a mess as you would think. If the half-pound grease and cheese inta
ke from The Westside doesn’t frighten you, indulge in Linda-Mar’s deep-fried sides, like fries, tater tots, onion rings, cheese balls, and mushrooms. They are all great, but the real winner here is the jalepeño chicken—deep-fried bits of chicken in a buttermilk jalepeño batter. Mike told me, “We marinate the chicken in the batter overnight. Makes a huge difference.”

  One curious element to the Linda-Mar experience is a small television that plays episodes of The Andy Griffith Show non-stop. “My mom loved Andy Griffith and that sumbitch would play until I whistled myself to sleep,” Mike told me. It has become an integral part of the restaurant, so much so that when an employee recently tried to put on something else (The Addams Family) the customers rebelled.

  I was tipped off to Linda-Mar by friend and local burger expert Joe Price. As we were leaving we spotted an ancient milkshake mixer behind the counter and almost fell over. “Do you still use that?” I asked, not because it looked like its best days were behind it but because I was fully aware of its historical significance. “We use it every day,” Tiffany told me as she reached over to start it up. The mixer slowly came to life and I could hear the whir of the friction-driven mechanics inside. This was the same mixer, the Multimixer, that Ray Croc sold as a traveling salesman in the’40s, the same mixer that led him to McDonald’s for the first time and the rest was history.

  “Have a very Linda-Mar day!” Tiffany shouted out as we left. “That’s just what we say here.” I wish I could have a Linda-Mar day more often.

  THE MEERS STORE & RESTAURANT

  HIGHWAY 115 | MEERS, OK 73501

  580-429-8051 | WWW.MEERSSTORE.COM

  MON, WED, THURS, SUN 10:30 AM–8 PM

  FRI–SAT 10:30 AM–8:30 PM | CLOSED TUESDAY

  The Meers Store is way out in the country. About two hours from Oklahoma City and four from Dallas, the “Meersburger” had better be good because it’s the only reason you got in the car this morning. The burgers are better than good, they are excellent, and the drive is beautiful. Joe Maranto, the latest owner of the 95-year-old burger mecca, put it best when he told me, “We’re out in the middle of nowhere, but the good thing is we’re the only thing in nowhere.” Meers is not as desolate as it sounds. The restaurant is a short drive from the entrance to the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Preserve and the next town over is Medicine Park, former hideout of Bonnie and Clyde and turn-of-the-century resort for Oklahomans.

  The restaurant is made up of a bunch of cobbled-together old buildings and newer ones, the older left behind when Meers did not produce the copious amounts of gold it promised. Remnants of the tiny post office have been incorporated into the newer buildings, all of them strung together like a pile of shoeboxes. Joe is responsible for the larger additions. The expansion is a result of the popularity of his Meersburger and the need to accommodate the 500 plus daily burger seekers, bike tours, and other backcountry tourists.

  It’s no secret what goes into a Meersburger. Joe proudly displays, inside and out, the key ingredient to his success—the lean Texas longhorn cattle. What’s better, Joe raises the longhorns himself (with the help of his son, Peterhood) at a ranch nearby, and they are free of antibiotics and hormones. During the summer, Peterhood and Joe send at least 2,500 pounds of longhorn to slaughter every six days. “We sell A LOT of Meersburgers. They wait in line for the burgers,” one of the grill cooks told me. On a busy day, Joe can sell over 400 burgers. That’s quite a feat, considering the burger is a half-pound of lean Texas longhorn beef served on a specially made seven-inch bun. Joe claims, and is correct, that longhorn beef is lower in cholesterol than chicken or turkey, especially since he is raising them the old-fashioned way—on grass, not grain.

  Joe Maranto and Bonnie

  Recently, Joe decided that the Meersburger was not large enough to feed his hungry patrons. The “Seismic Burger” was created to fill this need. The Seismic is a gut-busting one pound of ground longhorn beef on the same seven-inch bun, topped with cheese, onions, lettuce, tomato, sweet relish, pickles, jalapeño slices, and bacon. Whoa. I finished one without trouble, just some sweat and a full belly. The grease was in the bacon, not the burger.

  The store’s proximity to the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Preserve, where the Texas longhorn was saved from extinction in the 1920s, is a little odd. But the cattle in the preserve and on Joe’s ranch have quite the life. Joe said it best when he told me once, “These are happy cows. Happy cows taste better.”

  PAK-A-SAK

  429 EAST MAINE | ENID, OK 73701

  580-234-6499 | MON–FRI 10:30 AM–6:30 PM

  CLOSED WEEKENDS

  On a Saturday in early May, 2008, Kent Crook, the owner of the Pak-A-Sak, put a sign on the door saying that he was retiring. He then locked the door and walked away. Fortunately, an electrical engineer named Terry Washburn drove by two days later and read the sign. Terry had included his e-mail address on the sign and within a day they had struck a deal. Five weeks later, the restaurant reopened and the only thing that had changed was the ownership. “It was kind of a fluke,” Terry admitted. But this “fluke” saved a landmark hamburger joint. “Enid went into a panic when this place closed,” Terry told me. “There were people cheering when they walked in the door on opening day.”

  “Enid is a hard place to start a new business,” Terry told me, “but buying this place was a nobrainer.” He should know since he grew up in this sleepy northern Oklahoma town. “It was this little bitty stand right here on the corner,” Terry explained. Crook’s grandparents had opened the burger stand in 1954 and after 2 years of success built a larger building on the same corner. When Terry bought Pak-A-Sak he was wise to have Crook stay on for a while until Terry had the business figured out. Kim, an employee and longtime friend of Terry’s, told me, “[Crook] wanted to make sure everything was cooked and prepped the exact same way. We’ve kept the burger the same. Shoot, all of us have grown up eating here!”

  The burgers at Pak-A-Sak basically come in two sizes, the regular and the bigger burger. The regular starts as a 10-1-pound patty and the bigger as a 5-1-pound patty. The regular was the basis for the name of the restaurant because seven of them would “pack a sack.” Today all of the burgers still go out in white bags and are the equivalent of a “basket.” Ask for a “white bag” and you’ll get burgers, fries or tater tots, and a drink. A burger comes standard with mustard, pickle, and fried onions. “This place was founded on onions and I hate onions,” Terry admitted.

  The most popular burger on the menu is an American classic—the double with cheese. The burger is perfect, cooked on a very seasoned flattop griddle and served on a toasted, white squishy bun. The patty is pressed thin, cooked fast, and develops a crunchy exterior. The simplicity of beef, bun, pickle, mustard, and onion is hard to beat. I couldn’t stop eating them. Add tater tots and you’ll be in burger heaven.

  A guy walked into Pak-A-Sak once and asked for everything on his burger and Kim explained that everything meant pickle, mustard, and onion. “But he wanted everything so we gave it to him,” Kim told me. “We put bacon, lettuce, ranch dressing, honey mustard, you name it on there. We watched him, in his truck, take the first bite and he gave me thumbs up.”

  Pak-A-Sak is strictly takeout so you’ll have to eat in your car or at one of the picnic tables outside. “A lot of people take them to the park,” Kim told me. I broke the rules and ate right at the order window.

  Like most places of its ilk across America, Pak-A-Sak has dedicated regulars that stop in on a daily basis. “We have about eight or nine customers that come in every day,” Terry told me. Kim added, “At eleven thirty Delvert comes in, at noon, Richard, then Heather after him . . .” Kim knows what they all eat and places their order as they are stepping out of their cars. Delvert has been such a devoted regular that his absence can trigger worry. “If he doesn’t show up at eleven thirty, there’s something wrong,” Terry told me. “Once he didn’t show up so I drove by his work and, sure enough, he was in the hospital.”

  The
walls near the order window are covered with photocopies of Bible passages that are for sale behind the counter. My first thought was that Terry was clearly a missionary spreading the word of God to people in search of greasy nourishment, a bit of a disconnect. “Oh no, those came with the place,” Terry pointed out. He really didn’t want to change a thing about Pak-A-Sak and still sells about $4 worth of the passages a week (at 25 cents a pop). There are also romance novels for sale on a rack near the photocopies.

  “People call all the time to tell me how much they love the burgers,” Terry told me. My guess is that they are actually calling to tell him how much they love Pak-A-Sak and that they are happy to see that someone saved this hamburger destination from the wrecking ball.

  ROBERT’S GRILL

  300 SOUTH BICKFORD | EL RENO, OK 73036

  405-262-1262 | MON–SAT 6 AM–9 PM

  SUN 11 AM–7 PM

  Step into Robert’s and step back in time. Much like the Texas Tavern in Roanoke, Virginia, or the Cozy Inn of Salina, Kansas, very little has changed at Robert’s Grill in the last 80 years. Maybe the stools and the red Formica counter are new, or the front door was moved about a half-century ago, but Robert’s is a perfect example of what all hamburger stands looked, felt, and smelled like in the 1920s. Robert’s is, historically speaking, one of America’s most important treasures.