by Jody Holford
Chapter Twelve
Elliot tried to cover his yawn, but Kate smirked as she walked back into the kitchen from the porch. “Busted,” she said, making him smile. Fuck, she just had to breathe and he’d smile.
Her arms were loaded with dresses and fabric. He took it from her and set it on the table he’d just cleared. The girls hadn’t wanted to go to bed tonight, but once their heads had hit the pillows, they’d both been out. The excitement and activity of Christmas and Kate moving in with them was catching up with them.
“What’s all this?” Elliot asked, running a hand down her dark hair as she inspected the fabric. He still couldn’t believe she’d been in his bed the night before. Nothing in his previous experience compared to being with Kate. He’d never felt so completely connected, physically and emotionally to any other woman. He hadn’t even known he was missing that depth of connection. He was starting to realize why nothing had worked out romantically in the past the way he’d planned, why nothing had dug in and held on: No other woman had been Kate. The thought scared him, but that didn’t make it any less true.
“There’s a Christmas play at the rec center, and their seamstress broke her hand,” Kate said.
Elliot had been walking back to the station with coffee when that happened. “Right. Milly McCreary. I don’t think I knew she was a seamstress. I know she runs the library and she slipped going up those stairs,” Elliot said.
Kate’s eyebrow arched. “Sometimes I forget how small this town is.”
Pulling her attention from the dresses, Elliot wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hard to forget when you’re here, isn’t it? Speaking of which,” he said, trailing off.
She’d been pressing small kisses to the underside of his jaw but when he stopped talking, she leaned back. “Speaking of which?”
Elliot’s heart hammered too hard. Why the hell was he nervous? “Won’t take long for this to get out.” He gestured between them.
Kate’s lips pursed up as she considered it. “I suppose that’s okay. I mean, unless you’re not okay with it. If you want to protect the girls I understand.”
“Protect the girls?”
She shrugged right out of his embrace. “You know, from rumors, or if this doesn’t work out. I mean, it’s kind of sudden and you’ve just gotten them back with the intention of not letting them go again. Oh, speaking of the girls and the play—they have small parts. I hope that’s okay. And I didn’t tell anyone about us. I mean, Lucy, but she doesn’t count. Plus, she more guessed than was told. I don’t want you to feel like you have—”
Elliot’s lips twitched with the need to laugh. He pressed his fingers to her mouth. God, she’s adorable.
“I don’t know what you’re going to say but you should stop. First of all, we could stand still on the lawn and rumors would still fly. That’s the beauty of small towns. It’s not sudden when you consider we’ve known each other for years and while I never acted on it and neither did you, I’ve been attracted to you for every single one of them. You are by far the best female influence those girls have had, other than the other women in your family. I don’t care about rumors; I care about my girls. And you.” So much about you. He wanted to say more: How he’d never wanted to be with anyone the way he did Kate. How she made everything better. But he couldn’t tell her all that he felt right now. If he gave her everything that was still waiting inside of him to be said, the emotions barreling through him, he might scare her, or worse, push her away. The progression of his feelings was on warp speed. He’d gone from zero to ninety without blinking from the moment he’d touched his lips to hers. But she had so much going on and his life was always going to include Beth and Grace. It was a lot to spring on a woman when he hadn’t even taken her out on a proper date yet.
Her chest rose and fell in deep breaths. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth , still looking at him. Was she uncertain? Should he tell her he was one hundred and ten percent in? He’d support whatever she wanted to do—run her own boutique, design clothes from home—whatever she wanted. As long as she stayed. It was like when he embraced the idea of being done with Gina’s bullshit—when he decided that he was going to firmly plant his family all in one spot and get it right—everything had settled exactly as it was supposed to. And Kate had taken root in that spot with them. Without her, it just wouldn’t feel right.
“Kate?” She was killing him with her silence.
“It seems too easy,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
A smile settled in his heart as firmly as it did on his face. That was her biggest concern? “You’re right.” He crossed to her, took her hands, and pulled her close. “It’s easy because it’s supposed to be. People convince themselves it’s supposed to be hard, but it shouldn’t be. I mean, it will be. There’ll be fights and days that just suck all the way around, but at the core, when two people care about each other, it shouldn’t be hard. The relationships we’ve fought for? The ones that seemed too hard? Maybe they’re hard because they weren’t meant to last and we just didn’t want to see that.”
Kate watched her fingers play with the buttons on his shirt. “That’s quite… philosophical.”
Elliot laughed and tipped her chin up with his hand. “I wouldn’t know. I slept through Philosophy 101. But I don’t want you to run because it’s too easy or because it’s too hard. So why don’t we just take what comes? Together.”
She was nodding even as she went up on her tiptoes. “That sounds reasonable.” Her teeth nipped at the underside of his jaw and her nose brushed up against his neck. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she gave him a gut-twistingly sweet smile. “You’re a puzzle.”
They breathed each other’s air, their lips almost touching. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Now she giggled and the sound shot straight to his gut, making desire coil tightly inside of him. He ran his hands down to her waist, pulling her tighter as she answered.
“Nothing bad. Just, you look like a sexy surfer, you’re a tough-as-steel cop, but you’re soft and sweet with your girls. You’re funny and thoughtful, but completely serious and hard to read sometimes. You’re easygoing but like to be scheduled. You’re like both sides of a coin.”
His mouth touched hers, a whisper of a kiss, just a tease, then he pulled back, even though he felt her lean into him. Turning her, he walked her back to the living room in slow steps, kissing her on the way and loving the feel of her hands funneling into his hair.
“So what you’re saying is I’m basically the whole package?”
Kate’s laughter tied him up inside; he wanted to be the only one to make her laugh in just that way. He’d never thought much about the way a woman laughed. But when Kate did, it was like she opened up and pulled him in, and he didn’t mind being stuck there for good.
“Yes, Elliot Peters, you are definitely the whole package.” He swung her up into his arms and dropped with her onto the couch. “Back at you.”
Kate’s fingers tugged and pushed as she stitched one of the dresses, laughing at the Christmas movie they’d chosen. Elliot returned from the kitchen, put a glass of wine beside her, and took a drink of his beer before setting it down. He didn’t know how she could watch the movie and work on the dress at the same time. Carefully, so he didn’t bump her, he sat down on the corner of the couch. She looked at him, smiled, and stopped sewing to sip her wine.
“Thanks. Why are you looking at me like that?”
Elliot picked up his beer again, just so he had something to do with his hands so he didn’t reach out and touch her while she was busy. The need to touch her felt like a living part of him.
“Like what?”
Setting her wine down, she went back to sewing. “Like you’re not quite sure what to make of me.”
“I was just thinking I should take you out. We’re already sitting at home watching a movie like an old married couple, you with your sewing, and me with my feet up on the couch. Or they would be if you didn’t have dress
es everywhere,” he said, gently teasing.
Kate laughed and set the sewing down on the ottoman in front of her. Clearing loose strings from her lap, she moved the scissors and pincushion, and then shifted closer to him.
With her thigh touching his, she reached out and took his hand. She traced her fingers over his palm and a shiver rode up his spine. Since when were his hands so goddamn sensitive? Since Kate.
She turned and smiled at him, tucking one knee up on the couch so they were facing each other. “Can I tell you something?”
Elliot shifted his body and clasped her hand in his. “Anything. Always.”
“I like dating,” she said.
Elliot’s heart stuttered. She meant him right? “Me.”
Kate tilted her head. “What?”
“You like dating me,” he said, hoping his voice wasn’t shaky. He couldn’t do the whole let’s-see-other-people thing. He didn’t want to push her or overwhelm her, but he didn’t want to share either. He didn’t know what the future would bring, but he wanted to give this relationship with her his—their— focus. They couldn’t do that if they were dating other people. And he didn’t want to date other people. Did she?
“Yes. Yes, I think dating you would be lovely, even though we technically haven’t been out on a date.”
Elliot took her other hand and tried to keep his voice even. He should have found a way to take her out. Maybe he could ask Lucy and Alex to babysit the girls. Just because they’d known each other forever didn’t mean she wouldn’t want all the little things she deserved. Candlelight dinners and actual dates.
“Elliot?”
He blinked. “What?”
Kate pulled one hand from his grip and touched his cheek, running her smooth palm over the rasp of a day’s growth. “Why do you look upset?”
“I know I haven’t taken you out yet. Even wanting this, it surprised the hell out of me how fast we happened. But I’m all in, Kate. I only want you. Do you really want me dating other women?”
Kate’s eyes widened and froze. Then she blinked, several times. “What? Uh, no. No I do not. Is that where you thought I was going with this conversation?”
It was his turn to freeze. Sometimes shutting up really was the answer. “You weren’t trying to tell me you want to date other guys?”
Kate went up on her knees and resettled herself so she was sitting in his lap. One of his hands went to her back and the other rested on her thighs. Her thin cotton pants couldn’t contain the heat of her skin and he wished there was nothing between them. And that they weren’t having this conversation.
Kate grinned. “I take it back. Maybe you’re not so smart.”
“Hey.”
She rapped him on the chest. “You actually think that after sleeping with you last night, living in your house with you and your daughters and talking about being together, I’d be sitting here talking about dating other guys? Maybe you don’t know me.”
He winced. When she said it like that, his insecurity seemed stupid. But hell, his last relationship had no boundaries and not because he hadn’t wanted them. The mildly wounded tone of Kate’s voice made him ache.
“I know you.” He ran his hand up her back and into her hair, tipping her head down so he could reach her mouth. “I know you. I’m sorry. I just don’t really get where you’re going with the whole ‘I like dating’ thing. I’ll figure something out for the girls so we can go to a movie or dinner or something.”
Kate’s teeth grazed his bottom lip and he would have promised her anything at that moment. “It’s not your turn to talk, Peters.”
He laughed. “Sorry. You were saying?”
Pulling back a bit, she settled her hands on his shoulders and shifted in his lap, making it increasingly difficult to stay focused on her words. On her face. And not the feel of her against him.
“I was saying that I like dating. And I’d very much like you to take me out. For us to go out and do the whole dating thing. I have absolutely no interest in dating anyone other than you—just to set that record straight.”
The muscles around his heart loosened. He nodded. “Noted. Happily.”
She grinned, just one side of her mouth tipping up. “But, the old married couple thing sounds oddly appealing to me. That’s what I was going to say. You date to get to know people, to test the waters and see if you have something that could last. I like this better. I like knowing who you are but not everything. There’s enough I don’t know to keep us going for a long time but enough that I do know that tonight feels…right. Like we don’t have to go through all of the steps just to get here, where it feels good. Does that make any sense?”
He shifted, pulling her face to his. “It makes perfect sense. It should also be said, for the record, that I like it right here too. It feels as close to perfect as anything ever has or could.”
He let his tongue trace her lips, let his hands roam and tighten against her hips. She sighed into his mouth, and he moved his hands back up to hold her face. He took his time kissing her; there were certain areas of the get-to-know-you phase he had no intention of skipping like finding out she liked how he nipped at her collarbone or how she shivered when he ran his fingertips up, over her ribs, across her breasts, and then back up into her hair.
“Elliot.”
He liked hearing his name whispered from her lips and the way her breath caught as she inhaled.
Elliot stood clutching Kate in his arms, and she sighed again. “Jesus. You’re romantic without even trying,” she said, her arms looping around his neck.
Laughing, he walked them through the hushed quiet of the house. “I was going for expedient, but if you want to call it romance, I won’t stop you.”
They’d reached the threshold of both his bedroom door and the leash on his need for her when he heard the tiny voice. “Why you carrying Kate, Daddy?”
Kate muffled a laugh and tapped his arm. He let her slide down his body, and the sensation was nearly painful. He turned, keeping Kate partially in front of him as he looked down and saw Beth holding her pillow. Her hair was everywhere, and she was still half-asleep.
“Sometimes big girls like to be carried, too,” Kate said, shooting Elliot a wink.
Kate kneeled down in front of him so she was eye level with Beth, and the resulting view made it difficult for Elliot to separate being a dad from being a man. He took a couple of breaths and pulled himself together. He’d never lived with a woman other than Gina, but she was their mom so it had been normal to go to bed with her every night. He had no idea what to say to the girls about falling in love with their nanny, but he didn’t want to sleep away from Kate.
“Daddy’s a good carrier,” Beth said, coming closer. Kate scooped her up and Beth’s head dropped to her shoulder. “So are you, Kate,” she whispered. Elliot’s heart squeezed like it was being flattened. They were so natural together.
“Thanks, sweetie. How come you’re up?”
“It’s Grace’s turn for the doll, and I can’t sleep without her,” Beth said. That damn doll. It was a piece of fucking fabric. Like Gina’s sister couldn’t have just gotten two “Can I sleep with you, Daddy?” K
ate turned, her eyes meeting Elliot’s. The line between desire and responsibility played tug of war in his heart. “Of course you can, baby.” He pulled Beth into his own arms, his eyes on Kate’s, hoping she could read the apology in them.
With a soft smile, Kate tipped her head to kiss Beth’s cheek. Elliot held his breath as she went up on tiptoe and did the same to him. “Sleep well,” Kate said.
Before he could say anything else, not that he knew what to say, Kate walked down the hallway. He saw her turn into the girls’ room first, likely to check on Grace. He stood there, holding Beth and rubbing her back as he watched. Sure enough, Kate stepped back into the hall, stopped when she saw him, and gave a small wave. Then she let herself into her own bedroom and shut the door.
“I’m sleepy, Daddy,” Beth murmured.
He kis
sed her head and tucked her in beside him. Staring at the ceiling, he listened to the sound of Beth’s deepening breaths. It didn’t matter if he closed his eyes or not, Kate was all he could see. This was part of life with kids: interruptions, detours, and bumps. Kate was the first woman he’d ever looked forward to navigating those with. And the next time she was in his bed, or anywhere near him, he planned to tell her that.
Chapter Thirteen
Kate lugged bags of presents, both wrapped and unwrapped, into her parents’ home. Instrumental Christmas music played softly but other than that, it was peacefully quiet, especially for the Aarons household. When the porch door slammed behind her, her mom appeared in the covered area, an apron wrapped around her full, curvy figure.
At sixty, their mom was still a looker. Both of her parents were attractive and charming. Quirky, with their own deeply set issues that Kate knew they still struggled with at times. But they gave and received love like it was life’s currency and they were rich.
“There’s my girl. Let me take some of that,” Julie said, stepping onto the porch without a second thought.
Hard to believe only a couple years ago, it was a step Julie couldn’t have taken. When she’d returned from Africa, Lucy had finally voiced the concern no one else would admit: their mom had become agoraphobic. Saying it out loud had not only made it real, but it had forced them all to face it, deal with it, and support Julie’s recovery.
“Thanks. No peeking! I still have wrapping to do. You have the house to yourself?”
“I do. Char and Luke are working and your father took Carmen and Mia Christmas shopping.”