I squeezed my eyes shut as the memories came like a flood.
I grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped it around my waist and then went into my bedroom to grab some clothes only to find both Ash and Breaker sitting on my bed like they owned the place.
“Um, hi?” I dropped my towel.
“Bro.” Breaker burst out laughing. “Cold shower?”
Ash shoved him. “If that’s shrinkage, you should only be so thankful. Also, stop staring at his dick, it’s weird.”
“Almost as weird as a super long shower with Serena?”
I burst out laughing; it was harsh, on purpose, because what choice did I have? God, I was strung as tight as physically possible, wasn’t I? “Yeah well, it’s fun taunting her. Besides, she knows that the last thing she’ll ever get to taste is this.” I winked.
“Gross.” Breaker shuddered and then made a big motion of covering his eyes like my nakedness offended him.
Ash let out a cough.
“Wow, glad we know where we stand then because I was just stopping by to ask if I could suck your dick, damn it, how embarrassing would that have been?” Serena sauntered into my room, fully clothed.
And there I stood, towel-less and ashamed. “You dressed fast.”
“I was motivated.” Her eyebrows arched.
Was she talking about me?
The minute I let the thought get out there, Ash tossed her a Snickers.
With lightning reflexes, she lifted her hand, and the candy bar slapped into her palm.
Ah, so candy bar trumps naked Junior, nice.
Ash cleared his throat. “Could you maybe put clothes on so we can talk about tonight?”
“Tonight?” I casually walked over to my dresser, feeling someone’s eyes on me. Maybe the Snickers wasn’t satisfying? With a smirk, I grabbed a pair of ripped jeans and turned around in time to see Serena eying me like I was the candy bar. “Serena, put your tongue back in your mouth, I’m a person, damn it!”
She scowled. “Is that a rash?”
“I hate you,” I grumbled as I pulled on my jeans commando and crossed my arms. “So, tonight?”
Ash gritted his teeth. “Look, Claire wants to have everyone over as discussed; I don’t know what the hell’s going on but—”
“She wasn’t born into this like us,” Serena said softly. “We kind of gave her a shove into the mafia pit and went ‘survive’!”
Ash let out a snort. “I know but, we love each other; it should be… easier.”
“Love doesn’t make things easier, man.” I shook my head. “If anything, it makes things hurt more, it makes things harder, it makes you question everything, and it makes you wish you were dead at least half the time you experience it. Love, if anything, isn’t a blessing, it’s a curse.”
All eyes fell to me.
Shit, I’d said too much.
I didn’t know how to recover.
“Been in love before, huh, Junior?” Breaker snickered.
I looked down at the hardwood floor of my room, then to the black area rug next to the guest bed. “Once, but it was doomed before it even started.”
“You’re Junior Nicolasi. If you’re doomed, we’re all doomed.” He snorted like he didn’t believe me.
“Yeah, well.” I ran my hands through my hair. “I’m just saying that sometimes it’s not. Ash, if she wants normal, we can try to play it that way while we do some research. Sergio hasn’t found any trace of chatter on the black market or in the underground, no hits, none of our names mentioned, but make no mistake, there’s a reason they’re trying to make it look appealing to go to college next to us.”
“Bait,” Serena muttered. “We’re bait, which means they are too. Actually, anyone who hangs out with us is.”
“Shit.” Ash got up and started pacing. “All right, no need to go to the bosses. We can deal with being bait; we were basically born little worms.”
“Does that make us fish now?” Breaker wondered out loud.
Each of us gave him an annoyed look and then ignored him.
“All right, so we have our normal time with Tank and Annie tonight, watch a movie, popcorn.” Serena stopped talking as her eyes narrowed. “Wait, do we have to leave our weapons in the room?”
Breaker busted up. “Serena, normal doesn’t mean bringing your knife and then throwing it to impress guests.”
She pouted.
I had to laugh. “We have enough men outside on the property, and inside, we’ll be fine. It’s two people, and even if they did get through—well, we have Bone Crushing Breaker.”
He did a little bow.
“Angry Ash.”
I got flipped off.
“And Sexually Repressed Serena.” I winked. “Perfect.”
She scowled.
I kind of liked that she didn’t deny it.
And then my heart reminded me that it didn’t matter, did it?
“Cool.” Breaker stood. “So, they’ll be here in the next hour. I’m going to grab some candy, order some pizza. And Junior, make sure you put on a shirt. Wouldn’t want Annie having a heart attack.”
“I wouldn’t worry about her watching Junior.” Serena laughed. “She only had eyes for Ash.” She fluttered her eyelashes while Ash visibly paled.
“You look like you’re going to be sick.” I laughed.
Ash shook his head. “Bro, if I have to listen to her talk about school, or plants, or insects one more time…”
“She’s smart!” Serena argued, winking at me.
“Yeah, man,” I agreed. “Smart women like smart men, you should be flattered. You know, since you’re an idiot.”
“And I’m going.” Ash ignored us and followed Breaker out the door, leaving Serena and me in a weird staring war.
If I looked away, did that mean I lost or won?
I swallowed and stared her down.
She bit down on her bottom lip and then blurted, “I want to try it.”
“What? Not bringing your knives to movie night?”
She shook her head slowly. “No, this whole… let’s be friends thing,” Her shoulders slumped. “Honestly Junior, I hate you so much—”
“Is this literally how you’re starting our friendship talk?” I burst out laughing.
And then she joined in. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Well, I guess it would be weird if you hugged me.”
“So weird.” She gulped.
Fuck, suddenly, that’s all I wanted. Her arms wrapped tight around me. The memories from our first time filled that room so deep with the past that I had trouble breathing.
“Yeah.” My voice was raspy as I took a step toward her. “And you do hate better than anyone I know.”
“Was that a compliment?” She tilted her head and smiled.
God, I used to be on the receiving end of so many of those smiles, I almost forgot how good it felt. It was like feeling the sun on your skin the first time, like experiencing life instead of death—love, not war.
“It was.” I finally said as she took another step toward me.
And then we were nearly chest to chest as she looked up at me with her bright blue eyes and silky wet hair. “Watch it; you don’t want to get soft in these next two weeks.” She poked my eight pack.
I grabbed her hand and held it. “I highly doubt being soft has ever been a problem for me, Serena.”
Her eyes darted to my mouth then away as she sighed. “Promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“I would rather you physically knock me out than let me in,” She tapped my chest with a long fingernail. “Agreed? Shields still up?”
I deflated a bit and then nodded. “Shields still up.”
“For the Family.” Her chin lifted.
I leaned down and whispered in her ear. “For the Family.”
What we both meant was, for us.
For us.
Chapter Fifteen
Serena
He was getting to me, and even though I talked a big g
ame with my whole Avengers shields up talk, I mean seriously, did I really say shields? I shook my head. It didn’t matter; just looking at him was hard.
Being in the same room.
Knowing that all I had to do was make the choice to take a few steps and walk into his arms, knowing that Junior had never denied me his embrace, nearly killed me.
I could do this. I had survived being made; I could sure as hell survive being on friendly terms with the guy who took my virginity, right?
Easy.
I took a soothing breath and walked into the movie room. Annie and Tank had arrived about twenty minutes ago, I heard everyone joking in the kitchen but hadn’t felt ready yet, so instead, I sat in my own room and stared at myself in the mirror.
If everyone was trying for normal then I knew I needed to tone it down, so instead of wearing something scandalous or spiky heels, I went back and changed into a pair of gray joggers along with a black crop top Adidas hoody, and as much as it pained me, I grabbed a makeup wipe and removed everything but my mascara.
I looked younger, more innocent, which was almost a joke, I hadn’t been innocent in a while, and if I was being completely honest, the girl looking back at me bothered me because the girl without her lipstick looked petrified, she looked easy to wound, she looked soft.
And I couldn’t be any of those things anymore.
Especially around Junior.
But this was important to Claire, and regardless of her and Ash’s relationship, she was a friend. I never admitted it out loud, but normal, sometimes, did sound like winning the lottery.
The last time I even went to the movies without a security guard was never.
We always had suits watching us, watching everyone else, so pizza and some downtime, where I didn’t have knives strapped to my thighs, sounded kind of nice.
God help them if they ate all the pizza though, I smirked as I walked down the long hallway leading into the movie room. I didn’t need my knives to make an impression.
Laughter trickled out of the room as Claire and Annie teased Tank, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but at my dad’s house.
He was sitting between them with a piece of pepperoni pizza held up to his face, his gaze darting between the girls as they talked about something that he obviously didn’t find interesting.
“You should probably go save him,” Ash said as he walked up. He looked down at me, and then his eyes widened. “Whoa.”
“What?” I touched my face. “Is something wrong?”
He gulped and then looked away. “Nope.”
“Ash,”
He held up his hands. “Look, I’m not stupid. Doesn’t matter that we’re cousins; you’d still kill me.”
“Truth.” I winked.
He just rolled his eyes. “Don’t you think you’re treading on thin ice already?”
“Huh?”
“Shit,” he muttered. I knew what he was thinking; that I looked like I did before the day Junior and I started a war. “Just… I hope you know what you’re doing, Serena.” He kissed the top of my head and went over to Tank, who looked so thankful to be rescued that he stopped chewing enough to give Ash his attention.
I almost laughed.
From what I’d gathered, Tank didn’t really enjoy going to college, at least according to Annie, which made it semi-strange that they were friends, then again, who was I to judge? I was part of the mafia.
I never realized how big Tank was until he was in my house. He was wearing a tight black T-shirt and had enough muscle that if he stood next to Junior, he would at least look like he could hang without dying. His hair was a dark chocolate brown, his eyes green. Maybe I didn’t notice that he was attractive because I was broken. Then again, I’d been surrounded by some of the most ridiculously good-looking men on the planet since birth. Most guys couldn’t even hold a candle to any of the bosses, let alone the sons.
Tank shifted on his feet and then let out a sigh as he exhaled and tapped his foot while the girls kept talking excitedly with their hands.
Poor Tank. He looked like he’d rather be out on a motorcycle or in a ring, not at a pizza party talking about his latest test.
Who knew normal could be so wonderfully boring?
As if he felt my stare, he glanced over at me; a confident grin spread across his face. A grin that said he knew exactly how to smile at a girl to get her to fall all over herself.
Hmmm, what game was he playing?
I returned his smile with a polite one of my own and glanced around the room.
The big screen had Trolls on, which was so damn innocent I almost laughed, the pizza was stacked in the corner by a few bottles of wine because, duh, Italians. Though I did notice one six-pack of beer that I attributed to the two normals who decided to come to our house for whatever this was.
Junior barked out a laugh from the hallway. When was the last time he’d even laughed with me? I let out a sigh.
My first mistake was getting distracted by the normalcy of what was happening. My second was letting my guard down and actually enjoying the fact that every muscle in my body wasn’t tense, ready to attack.
And my third?
Not understanding that an entirely different battle was about to take place.
Between my heart.
And his soul.
“Okay, we have more pizza coming.” Junior strolled into the room with Breaker hot on his heels. He took one look at me and stopped, causing Breaker to run right into him.
Junior’s eyes locked with mine.
And they said it all. They widened and then narrowed like he hated me more than he loved the way I looked before I was forced to become the Serena Abandonato with her high heels and perfect makeup.
Maybe I’d grown up too fast, but it’s not like he wasn’t to blame for part of that, right?
“Junior, seriously?” Breaker shoved past him and made a beeline for Tank and Ash while Junior stared me down like he’d never seen me before. Then again, he hadn’t seen this version of me for a very long time. I felt naked, exposed beyond what I was comfortable with, and at the same time, I didn’t want to look away.
The room felt thick with tension as he slowly made his way over to me and stopped when he was inches away from my body.
I was afraid to blink, afraid this version of Junior would disappear as his eyes drank me in.
“You okay?” I asked in a weak voice.
“No.” He shook his head and lifted a hand like he wanted to cup my chin, to feel my skin, to lean forward and press a kiss to my naked lips.
“Movie time!” Ash all but yelled, and Junior jerked his hand away.
I shot daggers at Ash. “It’s already started?”
“That was just for background noise.” He pointed to the screen. “The movie of choice tonight, as voted on by everyone but you since you take forever to get ready.” I flipped him off. “Is going to be Closer!”
I flinched. “Why that movie? It’s old.” I gulped and turned to Ash, who was already going through our Apple TV to stream it.
“Because—” Ash grinned. “—nobody’s seen it, and it’s a classic. Besides, Tank’s a movie buff and completely convinced us that we needed something dark and twisted with a bit of a love triangle thrown in for good measure.”
My breath heaved out of my lungs. “Great.”
“Great.” Junior hissed next to me.
Did they notice how we stood?
Did they care?
Did they know that every part of my body was pulsing with need, dying a slow death every second Junior didn’t touch me?
Shit, I should have never agreed to this cease-fire.
I quickly joined the girls and took a seat.
Not even forty minutes into the movie, and I was already losing my mind. It was sexual. It was hot. It was everything I so did not need to watch with Junior mere feet away from me.
“Gotta pee.” I stood.
“Should we pause it?” Tank asked, giving me a look of genu
ine concern. Poor guy, I would eat him alive. Then again, he might just enjoy it with the way he was staring at me.
“No, go ahead.” I gave him a genuine smile that had him smiling back at me like he wanted to get to know me better, which I knew Junior would shut down like he always did.
Sigh.
I marched out of the room while everyone went back to watching and quickly darted toward the kitchen. I poured a glass of cold water and chugged the entire thing then wiped my face with the back of my hand before gripping the countertop.
“This isn’t the bathroom.” Junior’s voice floated toward me like a caress.
I lifted my gaze.
I could see the reflection of him in the kitchen window as he slowly moved behind me, then without saying anything, grabbed my hips and slowly ran his thumbs over the exposed skin above my joggers.
Trembling, I leaned forward so I wouldn’t lean back against him, so I wouldn’t feel him—my body fought me though because it remembered how his mouth tasted. Since we were friends now, I shouldn’t be focused on the way he kissed or the way he tasted, and yet that was what my brain was doing, creating this bonus reel of all the times he bit my lip, all the times he thrust into me, all the times he whispered his love, swore his fealty.
The giant grandfather clock in the living room continued to tell time, and yet the world felt like it had stopped, or maybe we were both moving in slow motion.
“Can we talk?” Junior rasped.
“D-do you think that’s a good idea? Us talking?”
He sighed. “Probably not, but I think we should.”
“Does this talk include words or is this just your way of getting into my pants?” I tried teasing.
He gripped the band of my sweatpants and gave a little tug. “It would be way too easy, Serena, and you know it.”
“Bastard,” I hissed.
“You’re angry. Good.”
“I’m always angry.”
“Don’t lie.”
I lifted my head and stared him down through our reflections. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Tank. He likes you.”
I froze. “What?”
“He watches you,” he continued. “Like a hawk.”
My lips trembled while my heart raced. “So, you wanted to talk to me about Tank?”
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