He didn’t answer just shrugged and continued to touch me like he had a right to. “If he knows anything, he’ll crack. I think you should give him more attention and see what happens.”
If a heart could break multiple times, mine just had, I swear I felt it crash to the ground, I saw myself fall to my knees in a bloodied frantic mess as I hurried to put the pieces back together before he noticed. But it was Junior. He didn’t have to see; he felt it in the way I tensed; he tasted it in the air around us. He knew he’d just hurt me, and I’d shown him yet again that while I was searching for all the vulnerable pieces of my heart—he still owned the ones that mattered.
And I would hate him forever for it.
“So…” I let out a heavy sigh. “You want me to give him more attention, flirt with him, learn his secrets, and what if he’s just some normal guy going to college?”
Junior’s head rested against the back of mine. “Then, at least we know.”
“Right.” I was going to murder him in his sleep—Junior, not Tank. “And that’s more important than anything, isn’t it?”
He stilled his movements. “Keeping the Family safe—keeping you safe is the most important thing right now, Serena, you know that.”
“I’ll do it.” I found my voice.
“Good.” I could feel him tensing behind me.
“Great,” I added and then tried to walk away only to have Junior grab me by the arm and drag me toward the pantry.
He didn’t even flick on the light as he pushed me against the shelves and molded his mouth to mine, invading with his tongue, pillaging more like it. His kiss was full of rage—full of pain as heat exploded between our mouths, he grabbed my hair in his fist and tugged, jerking me forward, his teeth grazing my skin as he placed a bite beneath my ear, only to work his way back up and hold me prisoner beneath his rock hard body. I reached for him, tried to respond, but he pulled back before I could. His eyes were wild as he hissed, “There, now you look primed.”
I slapped him across the face then gripped my stinging hand. “I hate you.”
“I know.” He sighed.
I wiped a stray tear with my hand and got the hell out of the pantry, and I pretended to ignore his softly spoken words, “I hate me too,” all the way back to the “normal” movie night.
And when Tank saw me walk in with my eyes wide, mouth swollen, he looked hungry.
For me, not the pizza.
I slowly walked over to him, sat down and put my feet in his lap, and winked. “This okay?”
“Yeah.” He nodded slowly, his green eyes flashing with lust. “More than okay.”
I smiled; it was fake.
And when Junior finally made it back to the movie room, he sat directly behind us while I flirted with the guy he had thrown in my direction.
Sacrifices, sacrifices.
At least Tank was good looking.
And at least he wouldn’t break my heart.
Nobody but Junior Nicolasi held that power.
And by the guilty look in his eyes—he knew it.
Chapter Sixteen
Junior
All it took was one decision, one night, and we were back to what we considered normal. Back to classes, back to Serena hating me while we were in public, back to her at least talking to me in the privacy of her own home.
Then again, did it really count when all she did was ask me to pass the milk this morning after her mom and dad went out for breakfast, leaving us alone again?
Maybe this was why the bosses forbade us to date each other because when shit needed to get done, jealousy got in the way.
He slept over last night after the movie.
I heard him.
I heard them.
It wasn’t yelling or shouting or even moaning—no, they were doing something so much worse—she’d gotten him to talk, to open up. They were bonding, and I hated every single laugh he got from her just like I hated every single time I imagined it was quiet because he was holding her or telling her that he’d fix everything that I’d broken so perfectly with my bare hands.
He didn’t stay for breakfast, which was good since I would have slit his throat. I had to keep reminding myself that it had been my idea; he was attracted to her, and she could get information out of him.
Claire and Ash took on the job of Annie, though it was more of Claire just wanting normal. Serena got close to Tank.
And Breaker and I pretended to just be the best friends on the sides, the easy-going non-threatening people that could provide a good time.
Shit, I hated this life sometimes.
Getting people drunk and having a sleepover in order to gain intel was anything but normal.
“You were up late,” Ash said once we all got out of our cars and met at our regular spot on campus.
Serena just batted her eyes. “A girl never kisses and tells.”
I scowled, even though it was my idea, I didn’t have to like it as I clenched my fists at my sides to keep from doing something dangerous like ramming them both into the nearest tree or person.
“Something you wanna say, Junior?” She grinned in my direction while I was greedily searching her neck for any hint of hickey so I could have a reason to end him and end this whole thing. Not that the bosses would listen to me anyway.
Shiiiiit.
“Nope.” I smiled. “How was Tank? I heard some talking. You teaching him how to spell the big words now, or are you still sounding words out?”
Breaker choked on his laugh, and Claire punched him in the arm. “Be nice. He’s smart, he just doesn’t talk much, plus he’s cute!”
“A man of few words, some may say more action.” Serena shrugged. “Anyway, I didn’t get any intel on them per se, but he did say that the college was really nice on the inside and offered to show me around.”
I stared in disbelief. Did he even realize what he had all to himself? Why the hell was he even thinking about a public tour when he could just take her to the closest room and worship her like she deserved? Instead, I said, “He wants to give you a tour of the college? Could he be any more lame?”
“It’s not really a bad idea,” Izzy said, looking up from her computer, a rarity for Izzy, talking and looking away from her work. “I mean, we have a blueprint, but it could be good for Serena to look around, especially while other students are on campus.”
“Agreed,” Ash said. “Why don’t you ask him if we can all come and then we can all go out to dinner afterward or something.”
“Good idea.” I jumped on the idea. I didn’t want them alone. The plan had been for her to get in, get out, get it done, not to actually start dating the guy. “Text him and see if we can meet later this afternoon.”
“Eager beaver,” Serena muttered under her breath as she pulled out her phone. I looked over her shoulder and nearly died when I saw a heart emoji from him.
Little shit was going to be pissing out of his left eye if he touched her in any way she didn’t like.
Then again, what if she did like it?
What if I’d just thrown her toward the one guy that could help her get over everything? Get over us?
My chest got tight.
It didn’t matter.
Because we could never be together.
Right?
“Done.” Serena looked up from her phone and grinned at us. “Meet back here at five, and he says he’s bringing Annie too.”
Ash’s face fell. “She wears cardigans.”
I frowned. “Bro, you’re wearing a uniform. How is that different?”
He glared at me, his teeth clenching. “By. Choice.”
Breaker and I shared a look of amusement as I put my hand on Ash’s shoulder. “Do you need backup? Or are you gonna make it?”
Ash shrugged me away while Claire looked on like she was thinking way too hard. “She’s a nerd, there I said it, I’m not sorry.” He held up his hands.
Claire wrapped an arm around Ash’s waist. “Just because she likes to talk abou
t scientific things doesn’t make her a nerd. She just has interests outside of guns. Shocking, I know.”
Ash pulled Claire to his chest. “Thank God you actually like talking about guns, huh?”
Claire gulped and then nodded as she flashed him a smile. “I do know how to take them apart and put them back together again, thanks to you.”
He winked.
My eyes narrowed as I looked at them both. They seemed perfect, and yet something was off.
Serena jerked her head toward me, and I caught it—she wanted to talk. Well, here goes nothing.
“Gotta run to class, guys.” I waved them off. “Serena, walk with me?”
“Yeah.” We fell into step together.
She waited until we were far enough away from the group to speak. “What the hell was that?”
“I have no clue.” I shook my head. “She’s been off. Everyone sees it, but it’s not just that. It’s this sudden need to be normal; it’s the fact that she looked excited to talk about science and not guns, which—whatever. It’s fine, but Ash doesn’t seem to know—”
“He doesn’t see it.” Serena stopped walking and put her hands on her hips. “He’s too in love with her to see it, damn it.” She did a small circle. “Call Sergio, have him put a tracker on Claire.”
I grabbed Serena’s arm. “Why the hell would we ask him to do that?”
“Because…” Serena gulped and met my gaze. “She’s scared; there’s something wrong. I can tell.”
“How do you know it’s fear?” I asked.
“Fear recognizes fear,” she said softly. “And I see that reflection every damn day in the mirror.” She pushed against my chest and said through clenched teeth, “Put a tracker on her now.”
“Serena—”
“No.” She jabbed a finger at me. “You don’t get to be my friend at school, all right? You can ask me about it when we’re home, but I probably won’t tell you because I refuse to let someone in who only does damage.”
I hung my head. “It’s in my blood; my blood is damaged.”
“No.” She swallowed and looked away. “It’s not your blood that’s damaged.”
“If not my blood, then what?” I snorted out a laugh of disbelief; I wanted to tell her then, tell her how bad my line was, tell her I was lucky I didn’t get killed for even looking in her direction, let alone taking what wasn’t mine to take.
“Your heart,” she finally said.
I stared at her for a minute then whispered, “I guess you would know, wouldn’t you? Since you still have it.”
I walked away before I did do more damage.
And I walked away before I had a chance to pull her into my arms and ruin everything.
Because that’s what a De Lange did. They ruined lives. And I felt my internal clock as if I was a bomb ready to go off.
I would destroy her.
And I knew, destroying her, would annihilate what good was left of me.
So I walked away.
Right then and there, I swore a personal oath that it would take an act of God for me to ever reach for her again.
Chapter Seventeen
Serena
I met Junior about fifteen minutes before we were supposed to be meeting up with everyone to go over to the other campus.
We shared a look as a black Escalade pulled up into the large semi-circle lot in front of the Business Building.
It was more private than pulling up in front of Registration or any of the dorms. None of the bosses could escape without somehow ending up on someone’s Instagram or Snapchat or God forbid—TMZ.
“How much are we telling them?” I murmured under my breath.
“Enough.” Junior crossed his arms and managed to look hot and casual all at once, while my breathing was a bit uneven because for us to ask this wasn’t just dangerous, it put a giant target on Claire’s back. But I had a feeling, and my dad taught me that there was a reason we had gut instincts, and mine said something was very, very off with her.
Sergio opened the passenger door and slowly stepped out of the SUV. His black aviators and strong jaw made him look like Henry Cavill’s brother. His long hair was pulled into a man bun. He unbuttoned his gray suit jacket revealing a chest tattoo that said Two Twirls with the letter A under a sunset. His story was legendary among all of us, like a fairy tale in the middle of a war. I gulped when I thought of his other tattoos, the tally marks that he kept whenever he took a soul from this earth. We’d stopped counting a few years ago because it was getting a bit ridiculous.
He was a bit too good at what he did.
I sucked in a sharp breath when another boss stepped out of the back of the car. Andrei Petrov-Sinacore. Shit.
“Why’s Andrei with him?” I asked through clenched teeth.
“Fuck.” Junior’s stance didn’t budge. “Probably because Sergio doesn’t want the other bosses to know, and Andrei’s technically related to Claire since she’s Nikolai’s niece.”
Nikolai, as in The Doctor. The Russian mafia used him because he was the best, but he worked both sides just like Andrei, they’d single-handedly taken over the Russian mafia and merged it with the Italians. It was the strangest cease-fire the world had ever seen, and I knew if Andrei was with Sergio, they were taking this very seriously.
Andrei’s blue eyes snapped to attention; his neck tattoos seemed to swirl beneath his three-piece suit as his nose ring glinted in the sun. He was in his late thirties and looked like a freaking supermodel. It was stupidly annoying how easy it was for him to break people.
It felt like they were walking in slow motion, but when they finally stopped in front of us, it all happened too fast.
“Here,” Sergio held up a small tracking device that looked like one of those batteries they warn kids not to swallow when they’re little. It was silver.
Junior took it in his right hand. “I appreciate you keeping this quiet.”
“Tell me,” Andrei spoke up. “Is there a solid reason you’re suspicious, or are we solely basing this off of Serena having a tummy ache?”
I glared. “Hilarious.”
“I wasn’t being funny,” he said, the smooth Russian tilt of his voice thickening ever so slightly. “I’m serious Serena. This is—” He shook his head. “Chase can’t know.”
Junior snorted out a laugh. “Gee, thanks for the warning, don’t tell the scary U.S. senator who likes to have people murdered for sport. Good pep talk!”
Sergio and Andrei both gave us blinding grins.
Sergio angled his head and gave an assessing look. “What do you know that we don’t?”
“A lot?” I offered with heavy sarcasm.
“Was I ever this young?” Sergio wondered out loud.
“No.” Andrei snorted. “You’ve always been old as shit.”
“Thanks,” Sergio snapped.
“You’re welcome.” Andrei smiled.
“I’ll ask again. Is there something we need to know?” Sergio crossed his arms.
I chewed my lower lip and shared a look with Junior.
He gave me a slight nod.
“She seems like she wants out,” I said quietly. “But it’s not just that. She’s distancing herself at a time when we need to be together. Who am I kidding? Isolation is how you get dead.”
“Isolation is how our enemies destroy us,” Andrei agreed. “Keep the tracker in her purse, you know the drill, put it inside her favorite lip gloss, whatever you need to do. And we’ll track her movements.”
“You two?” Junior laughed. “You two are working together on this?”
Sergio glared. “Not by choice, but since she’s Nikolai’s niece…”
“Right, Russian jurisdiction and all that…” Junior nodded.
“You both should go.” Andrei jerked his head at us. “Classes are starting to get out, and the last thing we need is for Sergio to get chased again.”
I laughed at Sergio’s horrified expression. “Admit it, you’re more terrified of college girls than yo
u are of dying.”
His shudder was all we needed.
Andrei winked at me, and then they were gone. Power in each movement, in each step as they went back to the car and left the same way they came.
I let out a rough exhale. “Damn, he’s intimidating.”
“Both of them are.” Junior elbowed me playfully. “It’s their job to be scary, but we know the truth.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” We started walking toward our meeting spot.
“That Andrei wears Christmas sweaters because he doesn’t have the heart to tell his wife he hates them, and Sergio’s favorite game to play was Operation when we were little. Oh, and he promised you a pony when you were ten and then actually got you one.”
I smirked. “Jealous?”
“No, because for my birthday he got me a stripper.”
I stumbled.
He caught my elbow and laughed. “Kidding.”
I jerked away. “There was a rock.”
“Uh-huh.” Junior smirked. “It’s okay to be jealous, hey I’ve got a few ones, do a little private dance for me, and I’ll shove them down your skirt.”
“And I’ve got a knife strapped to my thigh. Shove anything close to my ass, and I’m going to use it on your dick.”
He shrugged. “Might be worth it to get to spar with you.”
I almost stopped walking. “You mean you enjoy getting your ass kicked?”
“I enjoy…” He drew out the word and shoved his hands into his pockets. “…fighting you because at least it means we’re doing something productive with our hate, at least when we fight, I can make you sweat in an entirely different way, make you moan with pain instead of pleasure knowing they come hand in hand, make you scream my name in hatred reminding me what it was like when you screamed it in ecstasy, so yeah, I like sparring with you.”
My eyes widened as I gave him a hard shove. “You sick pervert, I had no idea fighting was your foreplay.”
He stopped walking and jerked his chin up at me. “Liar.”
My cheeks heated. “I’m serious!”
“Cut the shit, Serena.”
“You think you know me so well?”
“I think if I put my mouth between your thighs, you’d be embarrassed with how ready you are for me.”
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