The Choices We Make

by Barbara C. Doyle

  I pull myself from the memory. “You didn’t really give me a choice.”

  She grins. “Nope. We needed each other. The shy girl and the overexuberant one. We were meant to be friends. Opposites attract and all that jazz.”

  Besides Bash, I didn’t have anyone else. He always tried encouraging me to join clubs or hangout with his basketball buddies, but I never wanted to. Looking back, I’d needed Kennedy, and that only grew with time.

  “I guess Bash isn’t so bad,” I tell her, thinking back to what I told him earlier. I look between her and Addy. “He gave me my two favorite girls.”

  “Aww. Don’t get all sappy on me.”

  A small smile tips my lips.

  “I’m glad, though. Without you and Addy …” She pauses for a long moment. “I just feel like this is where I belong. You’re my people.”

  I lean my cheek against her head and brush Addy’s cheek. “You used to say that about Bash and me.”

  She stills. “Yeah. I did.”

  I gnaw on my inner cheek. “You know, he can still be your people. Just because he’s not mine doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. I’m not as fragile as people think. You guys were friends for a long time. It’s not fair that you still can’t be just because of me.”

  She pulls away from me and we stare at each other. “You wouldn’t care if I talked to him?”

  Did I?

  “You’re adults. It’s your choice.” She narrows her eyes over my non-answer. “And no,” I admit. “I guess I wouldn’t care. I mean, it makes you happy. So, go for it.”

  It’s a little while before a smile appears on her face again. “Thanks, O.”

  I wave her off. “You don’t have to thank me.” I click play on the movie again. After a long moment, I say, “You have a lot to catch up on. He’ll freak over your dating stories. That last girl, what was her name? Beth?” I make a repugnant face. “He’ll get a kick out of crazy Beth.”

  Something unreadable passes over her face just for a second before she recovers. “Yeah.” She laughs lightly. “He’ll definitely get a kick out of it.”

  Age 14

  The cafeteria is bustling with loud conversation as Kennedy and I make our way through the lunch line, and I can’t help but feel like people are staring at us whenever I look up from grabbing food.

  “Where’s Bash?” Kennedy asks, looking around the crowd oblivious to my suspicion. She grabs a fry and bites into it, ignoring the way people watch us and whisper.

  Despite brushing off my paranoia, I just knew they were talking about us. But I remember Bash’s many lectures on not letting it get to me, so I try ignoring them.

  Try being the key word.

  I clear my throat, passing the cashier my money, gripping the tray tight in my grasp. “I don’t know. He’s usually here by now.”

  When we find a free table at the back of the room, she snatches the book I had hidden in my hoodie pocket.

  “What is it today?” she asks, examining my worn copy of Jane Eyre. I try getting it back, but she shakes her head and reads the first page.

  “It’s a good book,” I defend, watching her eyes rake the page. “A lot of people prefer the movie, but the book is way better.”

  She smiles and passes it back to me. “The books are always better,” she agrees, pouring ranch dressing over her salad.

  My brows quirk. “You really think so?”

  She gives me an exasperated look, practically rolling her eyes. “Well, duh. Although I’m not sure I’d read or watch that. Seems too sappy for me.”

  Kennedy has been here for over a month, and we’ve hung out every day at school. I know her favorite color is blue, and she recently changed the streaks in her hair to match. She likes action movies, especially the ones Marvel produces, and her favorite superhero to read about is Deadpool because he’s as sarcastic as she is. She wears a lot of makeup because her mother hates it, and listens to just about anything except country, because apparently that’s too depressing or something.

  Having somebody other than Bash in my life is strange, but Mama seems to be happy I’m making friends. She and Dad even invited Kennedy over for dinner once.

  That didn’t end so well. When Kennedy showed up with her colorful hair and makeup, Mama’s eyes popped out of her skull. And Daddy didn’t say much. All he had to do was give me that one, dark look to tell me she wasn’t allowed to come over anymore.

  So now we only hangout at school, and sometimes walk home together even though she lives nearly a block away from Bash and me. She’s stuck around despite what my parents thought about her corrupting me.

  “Bash doesn’t like to read,” I tell her, watching as she rips apart her French fries and puts them on her salad. “What are you doing?”

  She looks up at me, grinning. “I’m making sure I have a balanced diet—greens and carbs.” She dips one fry into her dressing. “It’s delicious, try some.”

  I shake my head and bite into my tuna sandwich.

  “Bash doesn’t like books, huh?” she asks, digging into her lunch.

  “It’s not that he doesn’t like them,” I try explaining. Although I’m not sure why he doesn’t read. Anytime I try suggesting a book to him, he tells me he isn’t interested. “I guess he just has other hobbies he likes more.”

  That gets her attention. “Like what?”

  Her and Bash have spent almost as much time together as we have. Mostly because Bash and I are always together. Especially now that we’re seeing each other. Or, saying we are. It isn’t like we can go out on dates since I’m stuck at home all the time. Still, Kennedy doesn’t know much about Bash unless she pries it out of him.

  I shrug. “Movies, music, stars—”

  “Like movie stars?” she cuts me off with her mouth full. She swallows. “He could totally be John Stamos’ love child.”

  I blanch. “John … who?”

  Her eyes bug out of her head. “Uncle Jesse? You know, from Full House.” My blank expression must give me away, because she lets out a harsh breath. “You were deprived as a child. I had the biggest crush on him growing up. Seriously, look him up when you get home.”

  She goes back to eating her salad concoction, mumbling about how she can’t believe I’ve never seen Full House. I’m barely allowed to watch television now, much less when I was younger.

  But I don’t tell her that.

  Instead, I say, “Anyway, I wasn’t talking about movie stars. I meant astrology. Bash loves the constellations.”

  She stops mid-chew to gape at me. I can’t tell why she’s looking at me funny, and when she bursts out laughing I’m even more confused.

  “You two,” she rasps, “are perfect for each other. He seriously loves looking at balls of gas in the sky?”

  Slowly, I nod.

  “Bash is a closet nerd.” She giggles. “Good to know. Gives me ammunition against him.”

  My attention is drawn to a group of girls giggling and pointing at Kennedy. Brows pinching, I glance over to see if she’s noticed.

  “Hey, Kenny?”

  “Yea?”

  “Do you think people are … staring?”

  She stops eating and looks around, eyeing the girls who quickly snap their eyes down to their food.

  She doesn’t answer before standing up and stalking over to them on a mission, arms crossed at her chest. “Do you guys have a problem?” she demands.

  The brunette one, I think her name is Mia, stands up. “What if we do?”

  Kennedy steps up to her, the tips of their shoes are touching. I press my lips together watching their interaction, not sure what Kennedy will do.

  “Don’t get too close,” the girl’s blonde friend whispers. These girls used to hang out with Rachel, but ever since she moved, they’ve been without a leader. “She might try hitting on you.”

  My brows go up.

  Kennedy scoffs. “Oh, please. Like I’d hit on any of your idiots.”

  “Why? Are we not your type of girl?” />
  What were they talking about? Girls?

  The brunette flips her hair over her shoulder. “My cousin goes to your old school, you know. She gave us some tasty little gossip when she found out you transferred here from Talbott.”

  Kennedy doesn’t say anything, just glares.

  Then Mia, or whoever she is, peers over Kennedy’s shoulder at me. I draw back, swallowing when she takes me in. “Are you two lovers or something? Too bad for Sebastian, I think he really likes you.”

  I blink, my throat too dry for words.

  Kennedy doesn’t let it go. “Leave her out of it, bitches. And don’t believe everything you hear. Talbott and everybody that goes there is trash.”

  Mia’s eyes narrow. “Watch it.”

  “Make. Me.”

  I quickly bolt up afraid Kennedy will start a fight. I’ve never seen her do it, but her fists are clenched and shaking at her sides.

  “Ken,” I mutter, hesitantly walking over to her. She’s staring daggers at Mia and her friends, who are all wide-eyed waiting for Kennedy to make her move.

  I gulp. I’ve seen this look before. But unlike the way my father wears it when things don’t go his way, Kennedy can be pulled from the choice she’s about to make.

  “Life is all about choices, Opal,” Mama always told me. “We’re always tasked with making them. Please remember to choose the right ones.”

  I put my hand on Kennedy’s shoulder. “No. They’re not worth it.”

  “Hear that, girls?” Mia giggles. “Her girlfriend doesn’t think we’re worth her getting in trouble over.”

  Kennedy’s eye twitches, but I pull her back to the table. Reluctantly, she sits down, still eyeing the girls as they laugh in what they think is victory.

  I watch Kennedy for a moment, hoping she’ll snap out of it. Dad took a while to settle down, and it was always after he did something none of us could come back from.

  Kennedy is better than that.

  Better than him.

  “Your fries are getting cold,” I tell her quietly. She finally looks down at her forgotten lunch, lips twitching downward.

  We sit in silence for a few moments.

  Then she says, “It’s not true, you know. I don’t …” Her voice is the quietest it’s ever been, full of uncertainty.

  I squeeze her hand. “Kenny, I don’t care even if it is.”

  Her eyes meet mine in shock.

  I smile. “Those girls are stupid. I used to be the butt of their jokes. I guess, sometimes, I still am. But they’re not worth it. Really.”

  She thinks about it before nodding. “Thank you.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “I was going to punch her.”

  “Violence is never the answer.” My voice cracks. But under that is the truth, a confidence I’d never felt behind such simple words. “It never is.”

  She seems to agree. “I got kicked out of my old school, Opal. I’m not the best person.” She frowns, sighing. “But they wouldn’t leave me alone. They kept spreading rumors and I was sick of it. So, I fought back. Mom told me if I got into another fight she’d send me away to a reform school.”

  “Well I’m glad you didn’t.”

  She finally smiles. “Because of you.”

  “That’s what friends are for, right?” I hoped it was right, because I didn’t exactly have the best track record with them.

  But she nods in agreement, her smile melting away the anger that once carved her features. “Right. I’m glad I have you and Bash.”

  Before either of us says anything more she points toward Bash’s approaching figure. Behind him is Ian, and a long-haired boy that I’ve seen around the halls.

  “Speak of the devil,” Kennedy muses as Bash drops down next to me.

  He smiles at me and asks, “Were you talking about me, Opal?” I blush and shake my head, focusing on my lunch instead of the two guys standing behind Bash.

  Kennedy doesn’t ignore them though. “Who are you supposed to be?”

  It’s like the confrontation didn’t even happen, because Kennedy was just her usual self. It made me smile, happy to have her back.

  Ian sits down next to Bash, propping his chin on his hands as he scopes out Kennedy. From what Bash says, he’s a player. And I’ve seen him flirt with countless girls in the hallways. He’s got the same look melded in his blue hues now while checking her out.

  “Aren’t you just a ball of sass,” he notes, smirking at her. “I’m Ian. Buddies with this asshat.” He gestures toward Bash, who shoves his shoulder in return. They both laugh. Ian gestures toward the other kid. “This is Will. Don’t let him fool you, he’s quiet now but he doesn’t know when to shut the hell up given the subject material.”

  “Like Tessa,” Bash jokes, causing him and Ian to snicker. Will tells them to shut up.

  I wonder who Tessa is and why they pick on him about her, but I don’t ask. It’s not any of my business anyway.

  “How’s your day going?” Bash asks me quietly, ignoring his friends banter.

  “Good,” I murmur, picking apart the crust of my bread. “Yours?”

  “I have some good news,” he announces cheerfully, making me finally glance at him. “I decided to listen to your advice and start a band. Ian and Will are in it. We’re going to try finding a drummer.”

  Kennedy snorts. “A band? You guys?” She studies Ian and Will for a long moment, shaking her head. “I don’t see it.”

  “It’s not about what you see,” Ian retorts proudly. “It’s about what you hear. And we’re going to be amazing, baby.”

  Kennedy rolls her eyes.

  Bash nods. “Ian can sing, and Will and I can play the guitar. Once we find a drummer we’ll try figuring out what to play.”

  “Like covers?” I find myself asking. We listen to a lot of 80’s rock bands together, and I can picture him wanting to play them.

  “At first. Eventually we’ll write our own stuff though. I think this can really work, Opal. And it’s all because of you.”

  I blush, dropping my head. “You would have started one eventually.”

  “I still can’t picture it,” Kennedy intervenes.

  Ian flicks her hair. “You should swing by our practice then. We can prove it to you.”

  Bash winces. “Um, maybe give us a month or so. We’re not that good yet.”

  Ian smacks his arm. “Bro.”

  Bash shrugs, clearly believing the facts.

  Kennedy snorts at the exchange. I take the time to peak over at Will, who seems to be watching somebody at a different table. Usually I try not paying attention to many people, but I can’t help but look to see who’s got his attention.

  It’s a brown-haired girl listening to music and eating a slice of pizza. She’s wearing a bright tie-dye shirt with a cartoon cat plastered on the back that makes her stand out. It says something underneath, but I can’t tell what from here.

  “Looks like Will sees his girlfriend,” Ian coos, nudging Will with his elbow. “She’s probably waiting for you. You should tell her that you’ll be in a famous band someday. Bet Tess will date you then.”

  Will glares at him.

  My curiosity bubbles. “I thought you said she was his girlfriend?”

  “They’re just friends,” Bash amends.

  “But they’re crushing. Or he is anyway,” Ian adds, pointing toward Will.

  “Whatever,” Will grumbles, standing up. He looks at Kennedy and me. “It was nice meeting you.”

  I wave at him as he goes to sit by Tessa. She perks up and pulls her earbuds out as soon as he’s there, smiling at him. I can see why they say they’re crushing.

  Is that what I look like around Bash? My eyes can’t help but wander to Bash as he steals one of Kennedy’s fries. She tries slapping his hand away, but he gets away with one.

  “Get your own damn lunch.”

  “Food tastes better from other people’s plates,” he tries insisting, but the glare she casts his way says she doesn�
��t buy it.

  “Eat your girlfriend’s food.” To make her point, she shoves my tray toward him.

  Bash just chuckles as he puts my tray back where it was. “I’ve actually got to go see Coach. Yesterday was my last practice so he needs my jersey back.”

  “You’re really quitting the team?” I inquire.

  “There’s no reason to stay on it.”

  Ian scoffs in offense. “Wow, I see how much our friendship means to you.”

  Kennedy throws a crouton at him. “You’re in a band together. You can still have your creepy bromance there.”

  Ian wiggles his eyebrows. “Jealous.”

  “As if.”

  Ian smirks at their banter.

  Bash pushes himself up. “I’ll stop by your locker later, okay? We can walk home together.”

  He punches Ian’s shoulder as he walks away.

  Ian decides to stay. “So,” he hedges, staring at Kennedy. “Do I have a shot, or are the rumors true? Can’t say I’d be disappointed if they are. One of my buddies showed me this hot video of two girls—”

  “Gross,” Kennedy cuts him off. My eyes get huge over the insinuation, but Ian doesn’t look guilty over it.

  “I’m just saying.” He chuckles. “Anyway, you know where to find me if you’re interested.”

  She bats her eyelashes at him. “At the nurse’s office getting tested for herpes?”

  Instead of being offended, he laughs. “I see you’ve been keeping tabs on the gossip. Guess we’re both pretty famous around here. We could be a power couple, you know.”

  “Doubtful,” she informs him.

  He shrugs, standing up. “Your loss.”

  His attention shifts to somebody walking over and calling his name. The tall, dark haired boy claps hands with Ian, giving him a weird half-hug, smacking his back. I’d seen other guys do it, too.

  “Fuller,” Ian greets, pulling back. “Can you believe Everly is ditching us?”

  The guy laughs. “More attention for us.” His eyes travel over to where Kennedy and I sit at the table silently. His eyes stay on me a little longer than I like, making my face heat up.

  Ian notices. Putting a hand on the guys shoulder, he gestures toward us. “Fuller, this is Kennedy and Opal. Ladies, this is Noah Fuller, one bad ass shooting guard.”