Erica's Choice

by Sami Lee

  Except that, given her situation, she’d never really thought she could do better.

  “Never mind. There are plenty of men out there who wouldn’t care about your medical problems.”

  “I doubt it.” The gene mutation she carried also made her susceptible to other forms of cancer, most notably ovarian cancer. Even if this lump turned out to be a harmless cyst, or if it was malignant and she managed to survive the necessary treatment, she would always be at risk. Chemotherapy could make her sterile or her ovaries might have to be removed before she could have children.

  What man would be willing to accept such a long list of negatives in his potential mate?

  “It’ll work out, you’ll see,” Pam announced brightly. “This lump will turn out to be nothing, and you’ll find someone to support you through whatever else life brings. That’s what’ll happen, mark my words.”

  Erica offered a wry smile. “You’ve decided this, have you?”

  “You bet.” Pam grinned. “I like to plan my friends’ lives for them.”

  “That’s good to know.” Despite Erica’s droll response, Pam’s words warmed her and chased away some of the ice-cold anxiety. No matter the outcome, she sensed Pam wouldn’t bolt if things got ugly. That their acquaintance had begun to turn into a real friendship.

  And Erica was finally willing to admit that soldiering on alone was not the best way to handle her situation. She needed all the friends she could get.

  Erica and Pam didn’t leave the café until the barista started stacking chairs on top of tables all around them. Erica begged off Pam’s suggestion of continuing on to dinner. She had slept only fitfully for the past few nights. She was exhausted.

  Deciding to fix herself something light, Erica bought fresh salad ingredients and a portion of barramundi. She might not feel much like eating, but she needed to keep her strength up.

  She was in her kitchen adding spices to the fish when her phone rang. Her hands were covered in chopped coriander and garlic, so Erica decided to let the machine get it.

  “Hi, Erica, it’s Corey.” In the subsequent pause Erica’s heart refused to beat. He cleared his throat and added, “Corey Wachawski.”

  As if she was always bringing Coreys home and letting them strip her bare for the enjoyment of their friends. Erica’s knees buckled. She dropped the fish into the baking dish and stood motionless, listening to every word in stunned silence.

  “Don’t be creeped out that I looked up your number, it’s in the white pages. I had to call because…I’ve been thinking about you, Erica.”

  His admission made Erica slump against the kitchen counter with a shocked gasp.

  “I know you told me—us—to leave but I can’t help thinking we shouldn’t have, no matter what you or Griff said. I can’t shake the feeling something was really wrong the other night, and I need to know if you’re all right. Are you all right? If you’re there, will you please pick up?”

  Erica glanced down at her sticky hands and hesitated. But deep inside she knew it wasn’t fish oil and herbs keeping her from racing to the phone. She simply had no idea what to say to Corey.

  I’m sorry I kicked you out the other night, but I didn’t quite know what the post-coital protocol was in a situation like that. Oh and by the way, I only had sex with you and Griff because I might have cancer and the shock of it made me uncharacteristically rash.

  “Okay, I guess you’re out.” Disappointment was clear in Corey’s sigh. “Tell you what, I’m going to give you my numbers. I really hope you call me. Because if you don’t I’ll have to call you again to make sure you got this message, and I might start sounding desperate. You wouldn’t want to make me sound desperate, would you, Erica?”

  He finished by rattling off his home and mobile numbers, twice. Only then did Erica wash her hands and hurry to the phone. She replayed Corey’s message, trying to understand why he’d bothered to call her at all.

  She’d brought them both home, let them have their wicked way with her and then she’d quite abruptly asked them to leave. Why would Corey want anything more to do with her?

  And what about Griff? Even as the mere sound of Corey’s voice made her heart race, it also prompted Erica to think of Griff, how sexy and skilled he’d been, how he’d taken the lead for both her and Corey and brought her to orgasm over and over.

  She couldn’t help but wonder if Griff had thought about her too.

  God, what was wrong with her? Little more than an hour ago, she’d lamented to Pam that few men would willingly take her and her problems on. Now she was contemplating the nuances of an affair with two.

  It wasn’t going to happen. Corey was probably only being the nice, responsible guy he was. After all, he hadn’t asked her out. He wanted to assure himself she wasn’t a mental case, that was all. And Griff hadn’t phoned at all.

  Erica went back to preparing her dinner, whatever minimal enthusiasm she’d managed to muster for food now completely gone.

  Wednesday dragged on and on, as though every hour lasted ninety minutes instead of sixty. The students seemed particularly contrary, and the temperature spiked higher than usual for early spring, a harbinger telling of a particularly humid Queensland summer ahead.

  Her doctor’s appointment was set for after school, and Erica drove herself to the medical center. Dr. Mariana Singh had seen Erica’s Aunt Claire through her own diagnosis and didn’t take Erica’s discovery lightly. She performed the physical exam and confirmed Erica’s fears with her quiet comment, “Yes, there is something there. We should take a look at that as soon as possible.”

  After that, the doctor picked up the phone and proceeded to call a specialist. She’d managed to get Erica in to have a needle biopsy the very next day.

  By the time she headed home, it was approaching dinnertime. As none of the takeaway options available appealed to Erica, she decided to skip dinner altogether in favor of a cool shower and some mindless television.

  She had just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang. Her heart skipped even as her sensible mind told her it couldn’t be him, not again. She hadn’t called him back. No doubt he’d taken the hint that she didn’t have anything to say.

  Apparently not.

  “You see, Erica,” Corey began after the electronic beep. “I don’t want to give up just yet because I have a feeling this is too important. I’ve always thought so, ever since that first night I saw you walk into the Sovereign with your workmates. There was something about you that caught my attention. I could hardly stop looking at you.”

  Dripping wet and wearing only a towel, Erica raced into the living room where she could listen to his words more closely. Her heart thundered, picking up speed and strength with every word spoken.

  “I hung back because I was scared. Scared that I’d use some dumb line on you and you’d dismiss me. Scared that you were involved with someone or that you flat out wouldn’t be interested. I thought it was better to hold on to the fantasy of one day being with you than to mess it up and know it would never happen.”

  Before she was fully aware of what she was doing, Erica lifted the receiver. “Corey, this is crazy.”

  “Erica, hey.” She heard the relieved smile in his voice and melted inside. “What’s crazy?”

  “You expect me to believe someone who looks like you was nervous about approaching me.”

  “Why not? You’re pretty. You’re smart. Smart girls don’t usually take me too seriously.”

  Erica scoffed. “More than likely they never thought they’d have a shot with you.”

  “I don’t know.” Erica fancied she could hear his shrug on the other end of the line. “I was always big for my age, which made me self-conscious back in school. I was tongue-tied around most people, especially girls, and I guess they figured I was stupid because of that. My grades didn’t exactly shine,” he added wryly. “I haven’t been as lucky with women as you think.”

  Erica doubted Corey needed much luck. “I don’t think you’re st
upid, not at all.”

  Doug, with all his degrees and publishing credits, didn’t have an ounce of emotional sensitivity. Corey had that in spades. As far as Erica could see, there were different kinds of intelligence.

  Erica was also very well aware of how difficult high school could be for someone who didn’t quite fit in. She’d been quiet, with shocking red hair and an almost obsessive interest in books. She hadn’t exactly been a popularity queen herself.

  “You’re a nice person, Erica. I want to get to know you better.”

  “I’m not so nice.” Erica thought of the way she’d used Corey and Griff to assuage her own fears the other night, then kicked them both out sans explanation.

  Misconstruing her meaning, Corey murmured. “If you’re naughty, it’s only in the good way.”

  If he’d poured simmering honey all over her, Erica couldn’t have felt more cocooned in sweet warmth. Knees weakening, Erica sank into the couch with a sigh. She couldn’t quite keep the smile out of her voice. “You’re teasing me.”

  “It’s my revenge. Thoughts of you have been teasing me for days. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “Oh, Corey,” she sighed. “I’m not in a position to start anything. I’m not a good bet right now.”

  It was so close to what Doug had said to her before he’d left for the last time that Erica shivered. She hated to think she’d bought into Doug’s low opinion of her “prospects”, but it was true. She was in no position to offer Corey any kind of hope, not when she was hanging on to every last shred of it for herself.

  “I don’t believe that,” Corey countered. “I think you’re exactly who I want to take my chances with. Have dinner with me, or we’ll go to a movie. Go roller blading in the park if you want.”

  Erica released a faint chuckle. “I’m not much of a roller blader.”

  “Phew. Me neither. Roller blading is so out.”

  Erica closed her eyes as disappointment sank like lead to the pit of her stomach. “Everything is out, Corey. I told you, now is not a good time for me to get involved with anyone.”

  There was a pause on the other end of the line. Erica sensed Corey mulling something over in his mind. Then he asked, “What about Griff?”

  Erica’s heart skipped. “What about him?”

  “Maybe you’d relax your rules for Griff. Did you like him better than me?”

  It was a fair-enough question, under the circumstances, yet Erica was gobsmacked. It was like comparing the exceptional to the extraordinary and asking which had more value. “That’s not what this is about.”

  “Are you sure? Because if you want things the way they were last time, all three of us together, it’s okay.” Corey’s voice went threadbare, as if imagining the setup tightened his vocal cords. “Because I want it that way again too.”

  Chapter Six

  Suddenly Erica was achingly aware of her almost naked state. She was dripping water from the shower all over the hardwood floors and leaking another kind of moisture onto her thighs. The mere suggestion of indulging in another night like the one she’d had with Corey and Griff aroused her unbearably.

  How could she feel like this when there was every possibility a dreadful disease was decaying her insides?

  At last she stammered, “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’ll come to the Sovereign tomorrow night and meet us for a drink.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Somewhere else is fine, anywhere you want.”

  “Corey…does Griff know you’re asking me this?”

  His admission was slow in coming. “No. But he likes you, Erica. He likes you a lot.”

  Her heart hammered like a schoolgirl’s with her very first crush. “He does?”

  Corey chuckled softly. “What did you think?”

  “I don’t know. That maybe he liked you.” By the stunned silence on the other end of the phone, Erica realized she’d put her foot in it. “I’m sorry, but you did tell me the other night you were interested. I thought it was mutual.”

  “I didn’t say I was interested exactly. I’ve never done anything…” He trailed off. Then he asked, with a pretense of casual interest, “You thought it was mutual?”

  Gathering the towel closer around her body, Erica sat on the couch. “I figured maybe the two of you had a history.”

  “Not that kind of history,” Corey clarified emphatically. “I’ve known Griff since I started in the fire service. In fact, he helped me get in. Gave me a recommendation because I’d put in volunteer hours, and helped me pass the written stuff. He’d give you his last twenty bucks if you needed it, he’s that kind of bloke. The best one I know.”

  Quietly, Erica said, “You love him.”

  “He’s my mate.” Corey let out a long heartfelt sigh. “At least that’s what I always thought.”

  “Corey, he’s the one you should be calling, not me.”

  “You’re wrong, Erica. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and whatever else is going on with Griff, it doesn’t change that.” His tone dropped several octaves. “I’ve been semi-hard since you picked up the phone.”

  Her body responded in kind to his suggestive words. Beneath the towel her nipples grew stiff, and between her legs the dull throbbing became more insistent.

  “Corey.” She’d meant to speak his name in a warning tone but ended up sounding breathless.

  “Please tell me I affect you the same way so I know I’m not alone here.”

  Erica closed her eyes, praying for the strength to lie to him. It didn’t come. At length she let out a breathy sigh. “Yes, Corey. You affect me.”

  It was quite the understatement.

  “This stuff with Griff, I’m a bit confused about it.” He scoffed softly, as though he’d made an understatement of his own. “Does it put you off?”

  “I think people ought to take happiness where they can get it. It doesn’t worry me how they make it happen.”

  “Does that go for you too? Aren’t you entitled to get what you want?”

  Closing her eyes, Erica thought of all she wanted. For this lump to be benign, to not be burdened with this horrid gene mutation. The first there was still a chance for, but the second wish could never be granted. The gene was in her, implanted before she was born. All she could do was deal with it.

  The other things she wanted had nothing to do with cancer. Someone to care about her, someone to love. A family, if that was possible. If her ovaries went the distance.

  And yes, she wanted sex like she’d had the other night. Sex with Corey and Griff, even when one of them would surely have sufficed for any red-blooded woman. But what they’d done last Friday had imprinted the two men in her mind as a duo. Although Corey had caught her initial interest, Erica could no longer think of him without thinking of Griff.

  But what kind of greedy, deluded individual asked for the attention of two men, when she hadn’t even been able to keep her last serious boyfriend around?

  “I don’t know,” Erica eventually replied. “I’d like to think so.”

  “Then think it. I want to give you everything you’ve dreamed of, baby. You only need to tell me what that is.”

  “Are you talking about…sexual things?”

  “I’m talking about everything, but we can start there.”

  His expectant silence made her heart pound. “Now?”

  “Yes, now. I’m not hanging up. Are you?”

  The challenge sounded cocky but there was a hint of vulnerability beneath the outward confidence that made Erica weaken further. She should never have picked up the phone. Corey Wachawski was proving impossible to hang up on. “No. But you might need to hold on while I get dressed.”

  In the heartbeat of silence that followed, Erica comprehended she’d once again said too much. “What?”

  Erica tried to explain. “I was in the shower when you called.”

  “God,” Corey groaned. “Don’t make me picture you like that. I can barely take a sho
wer anymore without…” He chuckled ruefully. “Unloading.”

  The thought of Corey doing that while thinking about her, while thinking about Griff, made Erica’s clit pulse. Putting clothes on suddenly seemed unappealing. Her skin was flushed hot, so that even the towel wrapped around her was too stifling.

  Helpless to control her actions, Erica slipped a hand between her thighs and pressed it against her throbbing flesh. It didn’t alleviate the building ache.

  “Does it turn you on, Erica? Remembering how it was when Griff and I were with you in the shower, how we took turns fucking you from behind?”

  Erica released a strangled sound and admitted it. “Yes.”

  “I think about it all the time. I think about all the stuff we didn’t get to try, things I want to do with you.”

  Erica swallowed, both nervous and excited by where this was heading. “Like?”

  “Like sex in a bed, for a start.” There was a smile in his voice. “Right now I’m picturing you on your knees, wrapped only in a towel like you are, slowly licking my cock.”

  Between her legs, Erica’s hand flexed. Her flesh responded with an eager quiver, making it impossible for her to keep from moving her hand up and down in rhythmic strokes. Her tortured moan traveled down the telephone wire.

  “It excites you, doesn’t it? The idea of me using your mouth like that?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about Griff? Would you let him do the same thing?”

  There was something deliciously submissive about the mental picture that formed, of those two gorgeous men forcing her to service them. But Erica found herself admitting a fear she wouldn’t normally express. It seemed Corey was always compelling her to make unexpected admissions. “I would but I don’t think I’m very skilled at, um, oral sex.”

  Annoyance laced Corey’s query. “Who told you that? The idiot who wasn’t interested in touching you?”