by Jordan Marie
“She’s like a disease inside of me! She comes out when I’m nervous or upset… Wait, Luka! Did you just tell me you loved me?”
“It’s not like that’s a big secret, honey.”
“You’ve never said it!”
“Of course I have,” he says, shaking off my concerns as if they are nothing.
“No. No you have not, Luka. You have only said you loved me one time in my entire life, and that’s when we broke up!”
“Lo’, you’re wrong.” But I can see him thinking back. I see it on his face, and I see the exact moment he realizes I am right. “Fuck.”
“You love me,” I whisper, and I don’t bother keeping the tears back. I let them fall. I couldn’t stop them right now if I wanted to.
Luka loves me.
“God, Lo’, every day I realize just how stupid I was. I love you, honey. I’ve always loved you.”
“You love me,” I say again, because those are literally the only words I can get out. The next moment, I’m gathered up in his arms, my toothbrush tossed in the sink. I cling to his warm body as he holds me close. His hands slide into my hair, combing through it slowly but with purpose.
“I love you, Lo’. God, woman, I love you more than life.”
We stay like that for a while. I couldn’t tell you how long exactly; I just know that it will be one of those moments that I will never forget as long as I live. We only break apart when the doorbell rings and reality starts to settle back in.
“Crap.”
“Let me go see who it is,” Luka whispers, kissing my cheek gently and pulling away.
“No!” I screech like some kind of harpy. “I’ll go! You can’t! It could be the law coming to get you!”
“Lo’ honey, I am the law.”
“You also have a warrant out on you. I’ll go!” I growl at him, already making my way into the living room. I open the door to the last sight I ever expected.
My entire family is standing at Luka’s door. Mom is in the front, Jansen standing beside her. Mom looks ready to spit nails, and Jansen has a more resigned look on his face. Behind her stands Black, Blue, Green, and Cyan. Off to the side of them are CC and Gray with their babies, Kayla and White and their family, along with River, who is standing with Green’s son. My sisters are standing beside them.
Damn. For the entire family to be here, this has to be bad.
“Care to explain this, Lotus Petal?” Mom asks, and she unrolls a newspaper—a newspaper which has a picture of Luka shielding me. You can’t really tell it’s me, but I know it is, and there’s enough of my hair and arms showing that I know my mother—and the rest of my family—can recognize me, too. Luka, however, can’t be confused because he’s standing with his back to the camera, and he doesn’t have any clothes on. Underneath the black and white grainy picture is a headline—a headline that might be comical if I wasn’t involved: Mason County Sheriff caught with his pants down!
“Fuck,” Luka grumbles, taking the paper out of Mom’s hands.
I say nothing. That one word pretty much sums it up.
40
Luka
Present:
There’s a lot of things on my list of things I never want to happen. Having an arrest warrant sworn out against me by my father would be right up there. Closely following that, however, would be having Petal’s entire family show up on my doorstep—led by her mother—which means that today is officially a fucked up day from Hell.
Petal and I step back to allow the crazy train to charge inside. I can feel Ida Sue’s eyes on me, the heat of her gaze making me nervous. I do my best to ignore it, and I give Petal’s hand a squeeze. She looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and I see the worry in them… worry for me. I bend down and kiss her lips, ignoring her family completely. It’s a brief kiss, but one to show her what she means to me, one given to prove I’m not going to be the idiot I was in the past—one to reaffirm that together, we are strong, and I will not make the same mistakes. I won’t allow it. As I pull away, I kiss her forehead.
“Love you, Lo’.”
My reward comes when she smiles, and those blue eyes warm, the worry in them slowly dissipating.
“I love you,” she returns.
“Your Dad kissed Aunt Pet!” Allen proclaims loudly, and Petal presses her head against my chest.
“They kiss all the time,” River sighs. “It’s gross.”
“Out of the mouths of babes,” Ida Sue mutters.
“Don’t start, Mom. Luka and I have enough shit going on without you adding in right now,” Petal growls back, and damn if that’s not enough to make a man smile, even in the face of the Crayon gang.
“I’ll go make some coffee,” I sigh, heading into the kitchen.
“Luka—”
“It’s going to be okay, Lo’, now that your family is here. They can protect you while I go in and get things situated.”
“What would you need to protect her from?” asks Ida Sue. Strangely enough, she doesn’t sound like she wants to take my head off and grind it up to feed to her dog—which I guess I should be thankful for.
“River, why don’t you take your cousins to your room and play that new video game I bought you?” I tell my son, not wanting them to overhear what’s going on.
“Before breakfast?” he asks, knowing the house rule.
“It’s a special day,” I tell him.
“How come it’s special?” he asks in all innocence.
I want to tell him, but somehow, I think telling him on the day I’m being arrested won’t really work.
“I’ll tell you later,” I answer instead.
“It’s a surprise?” he asks. “I love surprises! This is the best day ever!” he exclaims, and then he and his cousins run out of the room excitedly. I look around at all of the Lucas family staring at me—some with mocking looks and smiles I’d like to punch right off, some with confusion—and then I see Ida Sue’s expression, which isn’t filled with her normal hate, but still isn’t welcoming. I wish I could share my son’s blind enthusiasm.
I don’t.
41
Petal
Present:
“Just how long were you planning on sneaking around like—?”
“Don’t start, Mom. Not right now.”
“Don’t start? I swear you were never this disrespectful to me until that man came into your life.”
“That man is the father of my son—your grandchild.”
“Trust me, Lotus Petal, I’m not about to forget.”
“Then maybe you can try and give him a little respect. He is not his father, Momma. I’ve watched you open your heart to CC and Kayla. You even tried with Green’s ex—”
“I did not. You take that shit back right now. That woman was a wart on the ass of humanity,” Mom interrupts me.
“One that was festered and oozing pus,” Blue adds.
“She wasn’t that bad,” Green defends, looking uncomfortable.
“Name one redeeming thing about that cow,” Gray demands.
“Gray, that’s not a nice thing to call her,” CC mumbles.
“You didn’t meet her, sweetheart,” Gray answers.
“Yeah, but I did, and you’re insulting Hamburger by calling her that,” Mom injects, and several of us laugh. It’s pretty much true; there’s no point in arguing with her.
Luka comes over and stands behind me. He wraps his arms around me, and I lean back into him, breathing a sigh of relief. Mom’s giving me looks, but she’s not looking like she wants to kill either of us—at least not as much as I expected. I’m taking that as a good sign. Honestly, it feels good to not be hiding and keeping secrets. It’d almost be perfect… if Luka didn’t have a warrant hanging over his head.
“We’re waiting,” Jansen says.
The room gets quiet, and everyone is staring at me and Luka like we have answers. Maybe we should, but right now I’m at a loss.
“Yeah. Why does my daughter need protection?” Mom asks. She’s
looking at Luka, and her face doesn’t have any discernable emotion on it. I can’t figure out for the life of me what she’s thinking. With Mom, that can be both good and bad…
“She probably doesn’t,” Luka hedges. I look above me to see him frowning. He’s uncomfortable and embarrassed and who knows what else. I hate it for him. I hate everything about this.
“But she might,” Black adds, and at once, the mood changes in the room.
“I don’t want to take any chances,” Luka finally admits. He goes to the empty chair in the room since my family has commandeered the sectional sofa and floor. He pulls me onto his lap, and I don’t try to argue. I need to be close to him, but I get the feeling he needs me close to him even more.
“Maybe you better start at the beginning,” Green says.
“My father… he’s not reacting well to Lo’ and I getting back together,” Luka says, his voice strained.
“I bet,” Mom snorts.
“He said some things… things about Lo’ that I wasn’t about to let slide.”
“I don’t think I understand. What does it matter what he says? What happens between you and Petal doesn’t involve him. What could he possibly say to upset you so much?”
That statement comes from CC which, not being from here, leaves her clueless to Luka’s father and the way he is.
“Honey, that old rooster thinks the sun comes up every morning just because he crows,” Mom chastises. “What did he say to my daughter?” she asks, ignoring me and directing her question directly to Luka.
“Mom, it’s not important,” I start, not wanting Luka to repeat the things his father said—for many reasons.
“Bullshit it’s not important. I spent too many damned years watching that family try and destroy you. I’m not about to watch you go through that shit anymore.”
“Luka is taking care of things—”
“He didn’t exactly take care of things before, now did he?”
“He didn’t know, Mom.”
“He didn’t want to know. He sure as hell didn’t want to listen,” she growls, and I guess I was just fooling myself thinking Mom seemed to have softened about Luka.
“That’s it. Mom—”
“Lo’, let it go. In this, your mother is right,” Luka says quietly, and in that moment everyone freezes in position. The difference is that noticeable. Tension spikes up around us, and I want to cry at the look of sadness on Luka’s face. He’s taking all of this on his shoulders.
“No. She’s not! I should have talked to you back then. You didn’t know—”
“I was busy wallowing in being the one who had been lied to,” he whispers, cupping the side of my face. “Whether it was intentional or not, I held that over you, honey.”
“Wallowed like a pig in mud,” Mom mutters, but I tune her out.
“I let you down, and even when I lost you, I didn’t try to fix it—to fight. I told myself I did, but I didn’t really. Ida Sue reached out to me back then, and I shut her down. I shut everything down.”
“I… What? She did?” I ask, completely confused. I turn back to look at my mother. “You did?”
“You loved him, and I hadn’t exactly been supportive.” She sighs, and that’s when I see the sadness in my mother’s eyes. Sadness and pain. I slide off of Luka’s lap and walk over to her. I go down on my knees in front of her and hug her tightly.
“I’m so sorry that me loving Luka caused you pain, Momma. I never wanted that, and sadly, I began to understand. I just never knew how to talk to you. I wanted to… I just…”
Mom wraps her arms around me and holds me close. We don’t talk. I figure that will come later—when we’re alone. For now, this is enough.
For a moment, now that I know I have my mother’s support, I feel like everything will be okay.
What is it about having your mother hold you close that makes you feel like she can save you from the world? That one hug makes you believe that somehow everything will be better in the ray of the sunshine and new morning.
I feel that way for a moment, and then comes the knock on the door. My eyes dart to Luka, and I see the dread there. He gives me a half-smile as if to reassure me.
“I’ll get it,” he says, standing up.
“No! Luka!” I stand up to go to him, but before I can, he’s already opened the door.
His deputy Daniel is standing there. “Man, I’m sorry about this,” Daniel says. “I couldn’t hold them back any longer.”
“It’s okay,” Luka answers just as I get to him.
“No. It’s not okay! Luka didn’t do anything wrong!”
“What’s this about Daniel?” That comes from Black. It’s then that I notice my whole family have come to the door and are circling around us.
“It’s not my choice I’m here, Black,” Daniel says, looking to Luka for reassurance.
“Then tell them no! Luka didn’t do anything to Roger Parrish! He was defending me!” I cry.
“Why do I feel like I should have been told this shit sooner?” Mom growls.
“What the hell is going on?” Black yells, the anger in his voice making me nervous. Black hardly ever gets angry—but when he does…
“It’s okay. I’ve got this handled. I knew it was coming. Just make sure Lo’ and River are safe. Take them back to your place, Ida Sue. I’ll be there as soon as I get this taken care of,” Luka assures us, trying to make sure everyone remains calm.
“I’m going with you!” I insist this time. He’s crazy if he thinks I am about to let him go through this all alone.
“Lo’, I need you to take care of our son.”
I want to cry, because as if on cue, River comes running out of his room.
“Daddy! Daddy!”
Daniel turns Luka around and takes out his handcuffs, and that’s the part that almost kills me.
“Why are you doing that? You don’t need to do that! Damn it, Daniel! You know Luka!” I yell just as River pushes through to get to his father. He is crying out for his father as I pull him back against me.
“Everything will be fine,” Luka assures me. I know he hates that River is watching all of this.
“I’ll take care of them,” Mom promises.
“And I’ll take my car and be right behind you, Luka,” Black adds. “I want to make sure you don’t get railroaded.” That makes me feel better since it already feels like that’s exactly what’s happening.
“I don’t have a choice,” Daniel says softly, and I can see that he feels bad about all of this, but still…
“Seems to me you’ve made your choice, Daniel Patton. Your mother is probably rolling over in her grave,” Mom complains.
“I’m just doing my job,” Daniel defends as he starts to walk Luka away. I pull River over to Green and run out to Luka.
“I would have quit before I agreed to do something like this,” Black says to Daniel in response.
“If it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else,” Daniel answers.
“Then it would have been someone else,” Black responds, crossing his arms and refusing to back down.
“I’m so sorry, Luka. I’m so sorry. I should have paid attention to your father’s threats. I should have—”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with any threats, Lo’. The only thing you did wrong was not telling me sooner. We’ll get through this. You don’t see it now, honey, but trust me when I tell you the hard part is over. You and I have this… together.”
“Together,” I agree, wishing I wasn’t crying in front of him. I go up on my tiptoes to kiss him right before Daniel pulls him away.
“Don’t bend over to get the soap!” Mom yells out helpfully.
“Really, Lovey?” Jansen complains.
“What? I watch those crime dramas,” Mom mutters. I close my eyes, pulling my son back to me. I’d yell at Mom, but what she says next assures me she’s got Luka’s back. “I think it’s time we make sure our town mayor gets a little payback. If there’s any justice, picking up t
he soap will be the least of his worries in the big house.”
“About time,” Jansen says, hugging her close. “You’ve been holding this in for too dang long.”
“You’re right,” Mom agrees, but I can see the fear in her eyes. I don’t want her to have to relive her past. She should have the right to keep that to herself.
There has to be another way…
42
Luka
Present:
“Well, you don’t look worse for the wear,” Ida Sue says, standing at the door.
I admit, I had hoped the first person I saw when I got here would be Petal.
“I took your advice and didn’t pick up any soap.” I sigh. “Where’s Lo’?”
“She’s getting River to bed. He’s understandably upset after today. It’s good to see they let you out,” she says, watching me closely.
“I understand I have you to thank for that,” I tell her, still surprised she did it and wishing she hadn’t. “I don’t want you putting up your farm, though. I’ll make sure bail is changed at my first court date.”
“I just signed some papers.” She shrugs, as if putting up her entire farm as collateral for my bond is no big deal.
“It’s a really big deal, and I didn’t ask… I didn’t want you—”
“Listen, Black called and said you were trying to arrange it so your house was collateral for it all, but it just wasn’t enough for what you owe. It’s ridiculous that your bail was set so high anyway.”
“Yeah. When dear old Dad wants to fuck people over, he makes sure he does it good—especially if it’s his son, I guess.”
“So I just signed some papers. Orange ain’t exactly your color.”
“Still, I know I’m not your favorite person, and it was—”
“Can we not talk this to death? Just let it go. You’re planning on having your ass in court, right? Not planning on skipping the country? Taking off for Fiji or Russia or something?”