Memoirs of a Courtesan

by Mingmei Yip

  WHEN THE HORSE ARRIVES, SUCCESS FOLLOWS!

  CONGRATULATE HEAVENLY SONGBIRD MISS CAMILLA

  AND ILLUSIONIST MISS SHADOW

  ON THEIR MAGICAL PERFORMANCES!

  Of course it was not that Lung really cared that much about me, Shadow or the show, but because, as the most powerful gangster head, he had to make his gift the biggest to outshine all the others.

  The huge signboard was also compensation for his and his gang’s absence, since Jinying, Zhu, Gao and his other underlings wouldn’t return from their opium deal in time for my show, though Jinying had said he’d try his best to come back early. If he did, he was going to witness something he was not prepared for. After that, I feared his feelings for me might change.

  Having finished appreciating all the baskets of flowers, inscribed signboards and congratulatory notes, Shadow and I went inside the performance hall to check the lighting and to be sure the snack and drinks departments were fully stocked. We verified that the red ribbons had been placed to set off the first two rows of tables that were reserved for Shanghai’s dignitaries – including, of course, Rainbow Chang. Finally a hired assistant helped us check out all our equipment. When everything was as good as it could get, we went to our dressing room, put on our costumes and then sat patiently while Old Aunt applied our make-up.

  Half an hour before the show, I went to the nightclub’s back door and peeked outside towards the front. Groups of people in sumptuous attire and ostentatious jewellery were lining up to get in. I spotted a few movie stars, their gloved, gold- and diamond-braceleted arms around those of their patrons. I also recognised a few businessmen, politicians and warlords. Shiny black cars continued to snake their way to the entrance to drop off their honourable guests.

  Then I spotted someone I didn’t want to see – Jinying. To my shock, he was not alone but accompanied by a very pretty young woman who was leaning against him. My heart dropped an octave. Who was she: a girlfriend, mistress or even … wife? But why should I care? If he was not what he’d claimed to be, what difference did it make? I was just using him, anyway. Maybe it was even better that he had someone else, because then he’d leave me alone eventually.

  Then why did I feel so disturbed?

  Feeling a headache coming on, I returned to the dressing room. I stared at my reflection in the mirror to see if I needed more makeup, but I couldn’t concentrate.

  Shadow cast me a curious look. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes, why?’

  ‘You look a bit distracted. Are you nervous about the show?’

  ‘Not at all.’ I flashed her a confident smile, then picked up a brush to apply more rouge to my cheeks.

  Ten minutes before the show, I went backstage, peeked through the curtain and scanned the hall. The rich and powerful already occupied all the front tables, flanked by wives, concubines, children, relatives, maids and bodyguards. Others were being helped by ushers to claim their seats, while still more were still streaming in. Attractive young girls and boys went around with trays of cigarettes, hot towels, lidded cups of tea and snacks – watermelon seeds, sugared candies, fried peanuts, roasted sweet potatoes and dried red dates speared with thin bamboo sticks. They navigated smoothly around the crowded hall, hoping for good sales and generous tips.

  I again spotted Jinying and his lady friend up front, now both absorbed in reading the program. Before I could try to figure out their relationship and begin to sort out my feelings, something in my peripheral vision pulled my eyes away. It was Rainbow Chang and her pink-clad entourage of tall young women. I swiftly stepped back from the curtain.

  Back in the dressing room, Shadow was still surveying her reflection in the mirror. Even sitting, she looked towering and gorgeous. Her flaming red dress’s plunging neckline half hid, or half revealed, her swelling breasts through peek-a-boo lace. A heaven-reaching slit on the right side of her dress exposed a red-fishnet-stockinged leg, like a Greek temple’s sensuously powerful Ionic column.

  While Shadow presented herself as a pillar of flame, I was a red-dish-gold supernatural creature. My dress, a golden cheongsam embroidered with a soaring red phoenix, was further enhanced by long red gloves, dangling gold earrings and a bracelet shaped like a coiled dragon. I wanted something simple enough not to overwhelm my rather small frame, especially in comparison to Shadow’s massive one. However, like Shadow’s, the slits of my cheongsam also rose against gravity, crawling all the way up my waist. Of course I certainly did not mind that this enhanced my sex appeal, but the most important reason was that I needed freedom of movement for my contortioning and knife-throwing. Our red and gold colour combination was Shadow’s suggestion, for she believed these two colours would bring us double luck.

  But little did she know what kind of luck she’d get tonight.

  I smiled at her reflection in the mirror. ‘You are gorgeous, Shadow.’

  She smiled back, a little nervously. ‘You think so?’

  ‘I’m sure you know that yourself.’

  ‘Thank you. You, too, Camilla.’

  A courteous, civilised exchange before a you-live-or-I-die duel.

  Seconds passed, and her painted eyebrows knit slightly. ‘You think we’ll do a good job?’

  As I was thinking about what I was going to do to her, my heart started to pound. But I exclaimed, smiling, ‘Of course! After our countless rehearsals, you still have doubts?’

  She smiled back, her thick, sensuous lips trembling a little. ‘You’re right, Camilla. Tonight we’ll take Shanghai by storm.’

  Just then the live orchestra played a dreamy but pleasing tune, and we heard the master of ceremonies announce our show in a booming voice. Shadow and I both inhaled deeply; then I took her hand.

  ‘Let’s go out to conquer Shanghai.’

  Elegantly we floated out to the stage in sync with the music. Once the audience spotted us, thunderous clapping and cheers exploded in the packed hall. Men’s eyes followed us, lingering on our faces, breasts, waists, legs. A few seemingly said, ‘My heart aches for your beauty!’ Women cast us admiring glances or jealous ones. The latter group seemed to be thinking, ‘I’m here tonight hoping to witness you two flop and ruin your careers!’

  Shadow’s hand trembled slightly in mine. Was she already thinking of failure even before the show began? A bad omen. She should have followed the advice in The Art of War: ‘Build up an invincible presence, and you’ll win even before you begin.’

  I squeezed her hand a little and whispered, ‘Trust me, Shadow, we will be great.’

  She murmured something back while smiling stunningly to the eager audience. Of course it was her life, not mine, that was at stake. Wouldn’t I be equally nervous if I were to be the target of her knife-throwing?

  We made a deep bow to the front, right and left. My gaze involuntarily landed on Jinying and his lady friend. While he smiled at me, she was obviously trying to get his attention by whispering into his ear and touching his arm and shoulder with her gloved hand. But I had no time to see Jinying’s reaction. Because right then Shadow turned and made a grand, sweeping gestures as her red dress swirled like a huge ball of fire. No sooner was the audience dazzled by her ‘flame,’ than, to everyone’s utter shock, she vanished into thin air!

  Then, before the audience even had time to gasp, she had already reappeared from behind me to greet them.

  ‘How did she do that?’ I heard the collective question from the mystified audience as I realised we were actually having a duel right under the public’s scrutiny! Damn her, it was not in our plan that she would perform her famous disappearing act. And I was sure this was not something spur of the moment. Shadow had planned this to outsmart and outshine me on purpose. ‘To drink the first drop of the tasty soup,’ as the Chinese put it. She wanted to be the star tonight. She wanted to steal my show, my man, my fame.

  I smiled. Maybe she had won in the beginning, but what matters is who wins in the end.

  After the magician’s stunning disappearance a
nd even more stunning reappearance, it was my turn. In my famous shredded-golden-lotus steps and swaying of my willowy waist, I approached the microphone. After that, I put on my most innocently seductive smile, meditated, let my eyes wander to meet Jinying’s, then began to breathe life into ‘The Wandering Songstress.’

  I had my reason for picking this song. Shadow presented her strong, imposing self to impress the audience. It would be a bad idea to try to beat her by sheer strength. She was stronger and taller than me, so the result would be like an egg dropped into a wok. So I’d adopt Laozi’s two-thousand-year-old strategy of conquering the strong with softness. I would seem lost and vulnerable to arouse sympathy from the women and the protective instinct from the men. I’d win by yielding, not resisting, by being the victim, not the conqueror.

  To the lively accompaniment of the small orchestra I breathed out the melody:

  At the edge of the sky and farthest corner of the sea,

  I search and search …

  My love, I remember you played the fiddle as I sang

  In the days when we were of one heart and one mind.

  Now I long for my homeland, in the far north.

  Tears streak down my hollow cheeks,

  Thinking of our happier days together …

  As expected, after Shadow’s powerful yet emotionless trick, the audience immediately warmed up to my melodious misery. A young, vulnerable woman longing for her lost love. A long-lost happiness that would probably never return. A few women dabbed their eyes with lace handkerchiefs. The men’s expressions suggested that they imagined they’d die to protect me and wanted only to give me the happiness I deserved. I knew well that the women’s tears didn’t flow for me but for themselves. All had wealthy, powerful patrons, but how many had found true love, not just its elusive and illusive shadow?

  Good, I thought, as my voice continued to squeeze out tears and sighs. Involuntarily my eyes landed on Jinying again. To my astonishment he was dabbing his eyes with his bare hand as his lady friend handed him her handkerchief. He was the son of a gangster! Had I been able to, I would have him stop this sentimentality at once, before anyone noticed.

  Fearing that if I stared at him, I’d evoke more tears or other inept expression of emotion, I turned my eyes to the flowers lined up across the front of the stage. With effort I finished my song without a glitch, to enthusiastic applause.

  ‘Wonderful!’

  ‘We want more!’

  ‘Camilla’s the best!’

  For the next act, I, as assistant to the magician, would help Shadow ‘steal’ things from the audience. The first person she picked was an old gentleman a few seats from Jinying. Our magician politely asked the man to stand, then walked down to him.

  ‘Sir, you’re such a lucky man.’ She nodded towards the beautiful girl next to him, surely not his daughter. ‘You have everything a man desires in life: wealth, admiration, a beautiful woman, and lots of fun.’

  Obviously falling right into Shadow’s honey trap, the old man laughed, his floppy belly shivering. ‘Yes, Miss Shadow, but you must know that a man’s appetite is insatiable. Whenever my chopsticks pick up a bit of fish, my eyes are already eyeing the bear’s paws on the next table.’

  The audience laughed. For Chinese, fish and bear’s paws are the two most coveted gourmet dishes; thus the famous saying, ‘No one can get both the fish and the bear’s paw.’

  I saw that Shadow was talking fast, making lots of little movements – twisting her hair, blinking, laughing, pointing her fingers in all directions, touching the old man intimately on his shoulders, arms, neck, back, waist.

  The conversation finally ended as Shadow planted a kiss on the old man’s cheek, then strode back onto the stage, flaunting her crimson goddess’s legs. When she turned back to face the audience, a loud collective ‘Ah!!!’ burst into the hall. Four items – a bulging wallet, a gold watch, a jade and diamond ring and a thick wad of cash were displayed in her hands.

  It took a few seconds before the old man gasped, realising these were his belongings! His expression suggested he was not sure whether to laugh or cry.

  A man shouted, ‘At least you still have your clothes on!’

  Boisterous laughter exploded in the hall.

  Of course Shadow returned everything to her victim, probably to her regret and the man’s great relief.

  After that, she went on to steal from another man – wallet, jewellery, watch, belt. Of course she returned everything. I wondered if she’d exchanged some of the returned items with fakes. But if she was stealing what she could at the moment, how would she know in advance what fakes to prepare?

  Her talents were almost as much a mystery to me as mine were to her.

  Now it was my turn again. I decided to tease the audience before putting them into a frenzy with my ultimate act. A few minutes after I started to sing, the audience saw not only a songstress but a woman twisting her body into impossible, surrealistic postures. There was no clapping or cheering in the hall, only mesmerised silence interrupted by stifled gasps. Their expressions told me that they couldn’t believe what they saw in front of their eyes. With Shadow, they knew she was an illusionist and that everything happening, however incredible, was a well-rehearsed trick to fool their eyes. But my performance was no trick, only the fruit of inhuman training and bitter practise. Since no one in the audience had ever seen me perform as a contortionist, the shock was all the greater.

  More singing and twisting followed until suddenly I disentangled my limbs and transformed my body back to its normal shape. It took a few seconds before the audience came out from their trance and burst into thunderous applause. It was then that I noticed that Jinying and his woman’s seats were empty. Had they left? Good. They wouldn’t witness what was going to happen next. The young master must have been greatly distressed to see me twist my body into unnatural, excruciating shapes. What would he think of me if he’d been able to read my twisted mind?

  The master of ceremonies went to the microphone and announced, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, if you think there is no more excitement in store for you tonight, then you are dead wrong! What comes next is Miss Camilla and Miss Shadow’s most extravagant act, which will absolutely stun your eyeballs so much that you won’t be able to sleep for many nights. And when you do, what you see tonight will haunt you in your dreams!’

  Of course neither the MC nor anyone else had any idea what I was really going to do.

  Equally oblivious of the upcoming evil, someone yelled, ‘Hurry up! Show us now!’

  A man’s voice called out, ‘When are you two beauties going to show some flesh?’ to collective laughter vibrating in the hall.

  ‘You’ll see. Open your eyes as wide as you can so you don’t miss the next shocking act. You’ve never seen anything like what is about to happen!’ the MC said excitedly.

  ‘Get out of the way! We want to see the girls, not you, big mouth!’

  Right after the master of ceremonies stepped down, I swiftly slid a dagger from my sleeve and plunged it into Shadow’s chest. Blood spurted in a crimson cascade from between her breasts. The magician, now covering her chest with her hands, looked at me with an indescribable expression. Shocked? Stunned? Tormented?

  ‘Oh, no!’ the audience cried out in alarm, but of course they had no idea what to do. I saw a few muscular men at the back spring up, ready for action. Fortunately, no one was leaving to call the police. I put on my best smile and bowed deeply.

  ‘My apologies, ladies and gentleman. Relax. No one is going to get hurt, especially not our beloved Miss Shadow!’

  At the same time, Shadow was regaining her composure. She must have realised now that she was only in shock, not in pain, and that the whole thing was, like her own magic, just a trick.

  A smile materialised on her pale face as she bowed to the audience. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’m fine, really, as you can see.’ She patted her bloody chest where the knife had stabbed.

  However, this little trick was j
ust a warm-up for the ultimate show, a tantalising hors d’oeuvre to whet appetites for the gourmet entrée.

  I had thrust a knife into Shadow’s chest, but it was not a real knife, only one whose blade was blunt and retracted into its handle. Fake blood stored inside the handle was squeezed out to create a realistic effect. So what looked like a stabbing was just an illusion. I was surprised that Shadow, as a magician, had fallen for this simple gimmick. But it is always different when the trick is on you. She needed to learn to be more shock-proof.

  Shadow cast me a harsh look, whether real or feigned anger, I could not tell and didn’t care.

  People in the audience were asking one another what had just happened. But I was not going to explain my trick, and now was the moment for which I had planned the entire show.

  Two stagehands appeared, pushing a wooden platform on which was mounted a big wheel, while Shadow and I went backstage to change. When we came back out, I took several deep breaths, silently praying that everything would go according to plan. A plan that nobody knew, not even heaven.

  Shadow twirled across the stage to the big wheel and climbed onto it, her feet resting on two small projections. Next, the stagehands strapped her securely to the wheel. Then one of the men handed me a brocade bag filled with knives, while the other pushed a button on the wheel board. Slowly the huge disc began to revolve, accompanied by sinister music from the orchestra. Now a bright spotlight was shined on me, making the knife blades glint as I lifted them from the bag. Instantly the usually rowdy crowd became deathly silent.

  I meditated and planted my legs firmly on the stage. Then, like a lightning flash, twenty knives flew from my hand and landed around Shadow in a perfect circle. After a moment of stunned silence, thunderous applause burst into the air.

  Shadow came down from the board and walked to me, smiling gorgeously. We held hands and sauntered to the front of the stage to bow.