by Tatiana Xavi
Staying with her so she would feel safe, I also liked looking at her belly. I knew most survivors viewed children with dread and most children under the age of five had died the last year. They were just too noisy to survive. Yet I still felt optimistic about the idea of a new life entering a world full of death.
While I helped Morgan dry her hair, we talked about where she and Ryan had lived before the plague. She explained how they left Indiana when their farm town was overrun. By the time I tucked her into bed, I felt closer to Morgan. I knew this was her intention and she succeeded because now I would try to save her if I could. Unfortunately for Morgan, the problem had never been I didn’t want to save her, but I couldn’t.
Once Morgan was asleep, I found Daddy emerging from the hall bathroom, smelling so clean I giggled. He looked relieved and maybe even younger too. His hair was also much blonder.
“Sami, you want to go next?” Zippy asked from down the hall.
Knowing I was being manipulated again, I could see Daddy knew it too by the way he smiled at Zippy. He smiled at her in a way which must have made her feel beautiful and important. Daddy didn’t smile this way at his friends, though. He only smiled this way when he was lying.
Zippy just wanted to get on his good side like Morgan wanted to get on mine and I didn’t blame them. I’d do the same thing if I didn’t have Daddy around to help me.
Taking my shower, I made sure not to stay in too long so we’d still have hot water for Ryan and Zippy. Feeling clean, I still had to redress in my dirty clothes. The house was beautiful but cold.
I smelled spaghetti from next door, and my stomach growled, craving something warm. Washing out a pot, I filled it with another meaty soup. As my food warmed, I ran to the front window, just to know. Nothing was on the street in front of the townhouse. While I couldn’t see farther into the parking lot, I heard nothing.
If Bellamy lost control of the horde, they would certainly moan with excitement as they rushed to kill us. Returning to the kitchen, I found Ryan stirring my soup. With his blond hair damp and loose, Ryan smelled like soap. I hadn’t realized how much I liked the smell of soap until the world changed. I also liked the smell of bleach. Both scents meant clean.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Ryan nodded, his gaze fixed on me. “You kept us alive today, Samantha. You saved my baby sister.”
Hearing the gratitude in his voice, I smiled, but I felt manipulated again. They all thought we could save them. Daddy was a great man, but he wasn’t a miracle worker. For nearly a year, he trained me to survive. Then he left me for a few hours, and I still ended up dead.
“Bellamy’s the reason we’re alive.”
“If it weren't for you, Morgan and I wouldn’t have survived long enough to be saved by Bellamy.”
Nodding again, I felt a little awkward. Stirring the bubbling soup, Ryan turned off the stove.
“Better let it cool,” he said.
Glancing toward the living room, I was startled when he cupped my face in his strong hands and kissed me softly. Unsure how to react, I hoped his kiss was only a thank you peck. Then his lips spread over mine and his tongue licked at my mouth.
Thinking back to last night in the tent, I relaxed into his embrace. Ryan had been so gentle, and I had felt safe. Whatever he wanted, I was willing to give it to him, even if for only a few minutes.
Once an image of Leo popped into my head, I pulled away from Ryan. Leo cared about me romantically, instead of as a kid sister or a childhood friend. No matter how handsome Ryan was or how good he felt, he wasn’t Leo.
“I know how we met was wrong,” Ryan whispered, studying my face. “You might think I’m usually like that, but I love my sister, and I promised my grandmother I would do anything to protect Morgan. I didn’t want to hurt you last night…”
“I don’t blame you. You’re a good man, and you didn’t want to abandon Morgan when she’s all you have. It’s just I care for someone else, and it wouldn’t be fair to do this with you.”
“Who?”
His expression seemed distrustful as if I might be lying as a way of letting him down easily.
“He’s part of our group. I’ve known him all my life, and I love him.”
“Why didn’t he stay with you?” Ryan asked, crossing his arms. “He just left when you got hurt. Are you sure he cares for you like you think?”
“The reason I wasn’t torn apart is that Leo broke his training to save me. He did for me what I did to save you and Morgan today, and I know he loves me. Even if he doesn’t love me the way I love him, my heart still belongs to him. I’m sorry. I know you feel lonely.”
Guessing with the last part, I assumed a man from a camp with so few women would spend a lot of time alone. Sighing, Ryan tightened his arms across his chest.
“I still don’t understand why this Leo would ditch you when you were sick?”
“We didn’t know it was possible to get bitten and survive. He left because his family left. If he knew I could get better, I don’t think he would have gone. I don’t think any of them would have.”
I was lying, but I didn’t want Ryan thinking Leo was weak. I loved Leo and not in a fairytale crush way. He was mine, and I missed him so much. Yet had Leo been bitten and Daddy chose to move on, I wouldn’t have stayed. I always stayed with Daddy, so how could I blame Leo for choosing his family?
“I wouldn’t have left you,” he said defiantly.
For the first time, I realized how young Ryan was. He was probably in his early twenties. At that moment, he seemed like a petulant child who wanted what he wanted, and I was keeping him from it.
“There are other girls in the group we’re meeting,” I said softly.
I hoped this would give him comfort or ease the frown on his face, but his scowl darkened instead.
“Didn’t you feel anything last night?” he asked.
Nodding, I felt guilty for desiring someone who wasn’t Leo.
“I felt it too. I liked having you in my arms. It felt right. You don’t want me, fine. You want to wait for some guy who ditched you when things got hard, fine. But don’t pawn me off onto some other chick.”
I smiled because he sounded so young. Covering my mouth, I hoped he wouldn’t get angrier. Ryan glared at me, though. Then he smiled grudgingly.
“I had ideas in my head about you and me,” he said, filling a bowl with my soup. “Ideas you’re telling me can’t happen. I get cranky when people tell me no. I’m also tired, so I should get some slack for that too.”
“It’ll be okay,” I told him, laughing quietly. “As hard as it is to believe, I’m replaceable.”
Shaking his head, Ryan smiled. “We’ll see. If you ever get over Leo, just remember when you were sick at the camp, I didn’t abandon you. I protect what’s mine.”
I already pictured him with Ava or Haley who were older than me and prettier too. They also didn’t have someone to love like I loved Leo.
Taking the bowl of soup back to the family room with the big front windows, I found Daddy sitting on the couch with his weapons out. He looked tense, and I didn’t blame him. All Bellamy had to do was lose control for maybe ten minutes, and we would die. At least we would die fast.
Even though I sensed Ryan wanted to sit and talk more, he and Daddy didn't see eye-to-eye. Daddy might use his fake smiles for Zippy and had even grinned big for crazy Bellamy, but he wasn’t faking anything for Ryan.
“This place has three bedrooms,” Daddy whispered in a harsh tone. “Zippy is in the smallest with the twin bed. Your sister is in the middle room with a full-sized bed. Sami will sleep in the master bedroom. Except for the last room, you can sleep any damn place you please.”
Ryan frowned at my father who didn’t stop looking out of the big window.
“Do you think she can control them all night?” Ryan asked.
Sighing, Daddy smiled at me as I ate my soup. “I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to control even one zombie. I’d heard of scien
tists looking for ways to tame them. What Bellamy did isn’t something I’d ever heard of, though. I don’t know what she can and can’t do. All I know is I’m going to sit here all night and wait.”
“If she loses control, can we get away?” Ryan asked.
Looking up at him, I smiled and shook my head and then returned to eating. Ryan didn’t like this answer and gave me a little grunt before disappearing upstairs.
“I wish you could sleep in a nice bed, Daddy.”
“If the girl controls them tonight, I’ll get some rest tomorrow.”
“But if they come, waiting for them won’t make any difference.”
“If they come, I want a choice about how you and I die. I don’t care how fast a horde kills. That’s not how I want you to go.”
Finished with my soup, I set the bowl on a table and leaned my head against Daddy. The house was so quiet and cold, but Daddy felt warm and strong. The big dinner helped.
“This is a pretty house,” I said, feeling sleepy.
“Yes, it is. Hot water and food too. If this place weren’t so vulnerable to attack, I’d want you to stay here forever.”
Just then, a noise startled us. Daddy was up off the couch, looking out of the window with his gun at the ready. I held another gun and sat on the couch, waiting for the end to come. Noticing a strange smell, we heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” Zippy whispered. “I tried the heater, and it actually turned on. It hasn’t been on in a while, though, so it’ll smell at first.”
Daddy exhaled hard and looked at me. “Nice warm house to go with our hot meals and showers. We’re living in paradise, Sami.”
Smiling, I was still nervous having him stand next to those windows. I could imagine zombies smashing through and pulling him out.
“Can I sleep down here with you?” I asked, afraid of him being alone when death broke through those windows.
“Go upstairs and enjoy that fancy bed.”
Even without wanting to go, I stuck to my training and part of the training was listening to Daddy. If I had listened to him more, I wouldn’t have been bitten, and we wouldn’t have been separated from the group.
Of course, we also wouldn’t have met Ryan, Morgan, and Zippy either. After the day we experienced, I suspected they were wondering if they wouldn’t have been better off staying at the camp.
No matter the crazy day or what the morning would bring, my mind was on Bellamy next door with her mustached zombies.
Chapter Seven
I hadn’t slept so well in my life. Despite the perfect mattress and soft sheets, I forced myself out of bed to check on Daddy. He was right where I left him.
Ryan was sitting in a chair nearby, but they weren’t speaking. I sensed they might have sat there for hours without even acknowledging the other one. Both men smiled when I walked into the room. Daddy took one look at me, grabbed a throw pillow from farther down on the couch, placed it on his thigh, and then patted for me to join him. I immediately curled up on the couch, my head comfy on that purple pillow, and fell back to sleep.
The next time I woke, it was to the sounds of cooking. Lifting my head, I found Daddy dozing. The sun was bright, and I could see the zombies still waiting at the gate. Not even one had broken through the invisible barrier.
Thinking of Bellamy, I sat up and checked Daddy’s watch. It was nearing ten, so I ran upstairs and showered. Afterward, I ran downstairs and ate whatever was offered.
Chili for breakfast felt weird, but Zippy said it was full of protein and I needed to bulk up. I still thought it was weird and my hunger wasn’t sure how to feel about all those spicy beans. Two bowls later, I was a believer.
Daddy came with me to wake Bellamy. Opening the door to Bellamy’s townhouse, Daddy moved inside with his gun at the ready, looking like a soldier entering hostile territory.
We found two zombies sitting on the couch and one in a chair, watching TV. Before realizing the television was on, I thought the voices belonged to the zombies. It freaked me out to think of them speaking so casually.
The people on the TV were discussing safe zones, and I wondered if it was a repeat of the shows they played when the plague started. The promises of food, medicine, and safety sounded so familiar. Once the men detailed the no-go zones, I knew this discussion was recent. In the past, the government never would have admitted it lost control of so much of the East Coast.
Mostly I was surprised to hear a government still existed after seeing only wasteland. I couldn’t imagine a place where zombies didn’t rule. Apparently, this place was mainly Texas.
The curiosity in his eyes told me Daddy was dying to watch the show and see what else there was to learn after six months of no news. Instead, he gave a little nod to the zombies and walked up the stairs.
We found a bedroom with two zombies in bed, staring at the ceiling. As far as I knew, zombies didn’t sleep, and Paul said he figured they were like sharks. They never stopped moving, always shuffling. This might be why those zombies looked so awkward.
Down the hall, I spotted a zombie on a toilet. Never pausing, I didn’t want to know what that was about.
We finally arrived at the master bedroom where six zombies watched the big bed. The overpowering scent of cologne tickled my nose, and I suspected Bellamy soaked the zombies in it before she went to bed. They looked at us and smiled, but maybe they were smiling at me. Daddy gave them a nod and then moved toward the bed.
Only the very top of Bellamy’s head was visible with the rest of her hidden under the comforter. Reaching to pull back the blanket, I was a little nervous. Bellamy was just a woman - a powerful crazy woman - but I worried she might not look the same. Like she might be mangled after a night sharing a room with a half dozen zombies.
Bellamy shot up as soon as I touched her shoulder. Her face was clean of makeup, and I immediately realized I had miscalculated her age. While I thought she was at least twenty, I now saw she was closer to my age. She looked so young and fragile those first few minutes as she woke up. Daddy might have noticed her age too because he stopped frowning so much.
“Rise and shine already?” she mumbled and then focused on the zombies watching her. “Hello, boys. Did you get any rest?”
The zombies nodded, but I was beginning to think Bellamy was the one making them react this way. Only because I found myself nodding too and she wasn’t even talking to me.
Bellamy climbed out of the big bed and stretched. “Papa Evan, did you get eaten last night as you feared?”
“No, I guess I didn’t.”
Bellamy smiled, and I thought she was beautiful. Fresh faced and half asleep, she looked like the kind of girl I would have gone to school with before the plague.
Hours later, Bellamy was back in her clown makeup while the six of us searched the stores. Well eighteen, if you counted the mustached zombies who followed us everywhere.
The gun shop was filled with weapons along with signs threatening hippies. Leasing this location was apparently a middle finger statement to the eco-minded hippy liberal types who had built the housing and shopping complex. I bet those hippies were mad when the gun shop opened and probably even protested. When the plague happened, the hippies never looted, leaving the store essentially untouched. Whoever the store’s normal customers were, they didn’t visit either. The place was fully stocked with weapons and Daddy was in heaven.
While Ryan and Daddy didn’t want to hang out together, they also didn’t want to primp at the beauty salon next door with us girls.
Morgan was a beautician before the plague, and she told us about all the different eco-friendly products in the salon. She was so excited when she offered to give us makeovers, but I doubted she could do much with my long wavy hair. Many female survivors cut their hair short, but I never tried. Mainly because when I was eight and got gum in my hair, Mom had the yucky part cut off and I was given a bob. A giant head encompassing bob people could see coming from a mile away.
/> My hair was too unruly to be short unless I paid to have it straightened. The beauty salon was well stocked, but I wasn’t wasting time fixing my hair. I just kept it long, tied back, and inside my jacket.
Next, we visited the secondhand baby store where Morgan alternated between giggling and crying. I didn’t blame her for being weirded out. I wouldn’t know how to feel about bringing a baby into the world when a hundred zombies stood a few yards away.
“Can you make them leave?” I asked Bellamy who was looking at baby clothes too.
Her eyes were bright, and I saw how intrigued she was about the little clothes. When she asked a blond zombie if she would be a good mother, he nodded.
Bellamy looked out of the window to where Daddy and Ryan were waiting silently. Thinking she was considering making a baby with one of them, I hoped she wasn’t looking at Daddy.
“Did you speak to me, Sub Sami?” Bellamy said with her gaze stuck on a toddler jumpsuit.
“Can you make the zombies leave?”
“I can do whatever I want. In fact,” Bellamy said, setting aside the blue baby jumper and walking outside. “Earl, hit it.”
One of the zombies carried a boombox and had been carrying it since they arrived the day before. I think this was his job because he looked happy to get the green light finally. He carefully hit a button, and a rock version of Danny’s Song began playing.
Dancing, Bellamy mostly bounced, but she also spun around and did a little arm pumping action. Even smiling, I didn’t understand her point. Bellamy was crazy though, so maybe she didn’t have a point.
The mustached zombies were dancing too, and I quickly realized they were mimicking her. Smiling wider, I looked at Daddy who was watching the zombies at the gate. Following his gaze, I saw a hundred zombies dancing exactly like Bellamy, complete with her goofy robot moves.
Nearly screaming along with the song, Bellamy was so loud and her eyes so bright that it wasn’t difficult to believe she was insane. Then the song ended, and Earl turned off the radio.