The Welshmen of Tyrawley

by Graham Barratt

  ‘Sally, I have to tell someone and ask as to the rightful actions that I must take. I have done terrible wrong. I need help and I need to ask what I must do to put it right.’

  This seemed strange to Sally, Emily was a decisive women and rarely asked for advice.

  ‘Pray tell me your news. I can only help if you tell me the nature of your worrying.’

  ‘I am with child.’

  ‘Oh Lord, no Emily, you surely jest. Please tell me this is not true. How long have you known? You must find a way to get rid of it now. I know of an old Lynott lady who is said to be able to cause the end for a growing baby. You might die though but you must go and see her at once, it is your only chance.’

  This was not the reaction Emily had hoped for.

  ‘I am certain, Sally. My mother knows too and she has the same opinion.’

  ‘Your mother is sensible and she speaks with wisdom.’

  ‘The father is…’ Emily hesitated for a few seconds.

  ‘Tell me, Emily, who is the father? Is it Richard Barrett? Of course, it is him. He had an eye for you at Glencastle and you made love that day. Did you lie when you told me you had spurned him? Did he take you again on another day?’

  ‘Cirilo.’

  ‘What? The slave? Please do not make fun of me, Emily, do not jest over such things.’

  ‘I was afraid to tell you, Sally. I am so afraid. My fear is a hundred fold when I consider how my father will react.’

  Sally stood bolt upright on the cold dark stone floor and shook Emily hard, hoping that it would provoke a different reaction.

  ‘For the goodness of the holy lady, tell me, Emily, tell me who your lover really is. You cannot protect him by making up such a story, you will cause great anger. If it was the slave, then you have far more to fear than telling me.’

  Emily cried out as if in agony as she fell to the ground in grief.

  ‘Yes, it was the slave who was taken from the ship at Doona strand.’

  ‘The slave? You are telling me that you lay with the black slave of the Spanish?’

  ‘Yes, I fell in love with him instantly. He went with the cannons to serve the rebels with O’Rourke.’

  ‘What? Are you mad, Emily? Or do you jest with me? You went the way of flesh with a blackamoor. You, the daughter of a clan chief, gave your body to him? I cannot believe these things. Do you realise what this will mean for you?’

  Sally held her forehead in her hand and shook her head as if in disbelief. Emily tried to justify herself.

  ‘Yes, it is true, I love him. He has my heart, I gave him my body in love and now my life is ruined.’

  ‘But we all know that there are ways a woman may allow a man to make her merry inside and ways to give a man pleasure without allowing him to fling his seed within you.’

  ‘I know, Sally, but none of it was planned and our making of love was with great desire and passion. It only happened on one afternoon and there was little time to think about our actions. I cannot fully explain it, but I wanted to please him and needed to feel his love.’

  ‘Emily, your life, the life of your baby and the life of that slave is also ruined. Does your mother know of such things?’

  Emily hesitated. ‘She knows I am pregnant, but she knows nothing of the father.’

  ‘Then it is the right time to tell her and you must get rid of it.’

  ‘No, I will not kill my child.’

  ‘Emily, if your father learns of this, he will cast you out and kill the slave. That is if you are lucky and he loves you enough to spare your life. Oh my God, Emily, you must pray, what are you to do? You must get rid of the baby, there are potions and ways, you must get it out now and your secret will be safe. I will help you. It is the only action that can be taken. Your baby is doomed and must not come into this world alive.’

  ‘No Sally, I have thought about this for many days. When you have the seed of love in your body, you will understand. I will keep the baby. It is of my flesh and the flesh of the man I love. I will protect and love my child and devote my life to it.’

  ‘Then your life and that of your lover will be very short. You must understand what this will involve. You will not only be giving birth to a bastard out of wedlock and out of the clan, but you will be mothering the child of a blackamoor slave. This is something that the clan will not tolerate, least of all your father.’

  ‘I know, Sally, but I cannot end the life of my baby and I will not do it. I will live with any punishment for the sake of my child.’

  ‘No you will not. It is just too much. You may be slain and I fear your baby will not live either. You must realise the baby will be killed rather than be accepted. Its fate will be out of your hands. Even if the baby was allowed to live, then it would be taken away from you before you offer it a nipple.’

  Emily’s heart grew heavy and the burden was too great to bear. She realised it was a dreadful prospect and there would be terrible suffering. She played over in her head the many different scenarios. Would she be beaten? Would she be tied down and made to suffer a forced abortion? Could she be starved through neglect and rejection?

  Above all, Emily was certain she was not going to kill the baby for the sake of pride. Her strong Catholic beliefs did not allow her to destroy the baby, but she also held the belief that she would be forgiven by God for her sins.

  As her situation grew more hopeless, her incredible love for the child grew stronger. She would fight to the death to protect her only lasting connection with her lover, Cirilo.

  As the weeks moved on, she thought how she would tell her father and break the news of the baby. Its origin would have to wait for another day. She found it increasingly difficult to find the time or the opportunity to approach him. When the chance was there, such as at meal times and evenings, she looked across at her mother, Ceara, for approval before opening her mouth to speak. It was excruciating, the words would not emerge from her lips. Emily was terrified, she could not tell him, but the moment when she must was drawing ever closer. The days of constant worry continued. Emily felt as though there was only one course of action. She could no longer cope with the strain of her situation, but at the same time, would not go through with an abortion. All possibilities were considered. Should she die with the baby inside her? This would be easy. She could kill herself and let her baby go to sleep within her womb. The baby would never know suffering and pain and would not have to endure the torments of growing up in a community which would reject it because it was born out of wedlock and with mixed blood.

  Emily’s reluctance to explain herself resulted in the inevitable. One Sunday morning, following prayers and while Ceara was still at the church confessing her sins, Sally and Rose were standing at the entrance of Dael with the stone staircase to their left. Sally whispered to Rose, but the gossiping voices became louder as the conversation developed. Walter was on the first floor in his chamber. The door was open and he postured to get better acoustics as the voices carried up the narrow sweeping stone staircase.

  ‘How long do you think she will be able to keep the growing baby a secret? If her feminine bloom and sickness does not give her up, then her gait and shape must surely soon make it told that she is with child and not just getting fatter.’

  ‘Be quiet, Rose, you must not speak in such ways. It is dangerous for anyone to speak of her situation in here. When I told you of this, I asked for your trust and silence on the matter. It is far more important to conceal this than to gossip.’

  It was too late, they had been overheard. Walter approached, stepping quietly out of the shadows in his leather shoes and descending the stairs quickly before the girls could disappear. They were still together when he dashed around the corner of the doorway seizing them both and holding the arm of each girl tightly. He hoped he was wrong, but his instinct told him that they could only be speaking of Emily. His heart sank.

  ‘Of whom do you speak?’

  He pulled their arms closer with a jolt that caused Rose’s arm
to click loudly. She cried out in pain but held her chin high as she braced herself for more jolts. He somehow knew the answer but wished that he would hear a different truth as he asked again.

  ‘Who is the woman with child of whom you speak? Tell me ladies or face my ire and bile.’

  The two girls looked at one another remaining silent. Walter’s dark eyebrows angled further in towards his nose as he had clearly lost all patience.

  ‘You gossip so well, ladies, now do not disappoint me or you may find yourselves on the streets begging for business. Who is the woman of whom you speak? One last time, who is with child?’

  Rose spoke first, ‘Sire, we are sorry to have betrayed your hospitality and for you to find out in this way. We regret our actions, but the woman with child that we gossiped about is… Emily. She is many weeks with child. Please, we hope you will grant us forgiveness and trust that you find it in your heart to avoid telling Emily of your sources so that we may continue to be her friends and support her in her quandary.’

  Rose and Sally were both shaking and knew that it was not a good idea to fall out of favour with Walter.

  ‘Is there anything we may do to comfort your pain, sire?’

  Rose panicked. She knew they both had to maintain favour with Walter since they shared his home and hospitality. She decided that on behalf of them both, she would make him a proposition that would help grant them forgiveness. She had seen Walter look at Sally with pleased eyes many times and was sure in believing what she was about to propose would be successful.

  ‘Would you like us to take to your bed and provide comfort for you? We would both enjoy your company and to share you would be a joy, sire. Please do not treat us unfavourably.’

  At first, Sally looked shocked and gave Rose a glare of disbelief; however, she could see that it was a last ditched attempt to quell his anger and keep in favour. They were after all privileged to be living at Dael. Losing their home would be unthinkable but a reality if they fell out of favour with Walter. Their bodies were all they had left. Sally added to the proposition.

  ‘Sir, we are experienced and I for one am able to perform great acts of pleasure with my head and hands.’

  The plan may have worked with other men despite the girls being his nieces, but it only served to fuel Walter’s anger.

  ‘What? Bed my sister’s children? Not today, you laced whores. Get out of my sight, both of you.’

  Both girls ran away from Dael, across the river bridge. As the relief of escaping a beating grew and when they thought they were out of earshot, they were heard to giggle amid the sound of footsteps on the wooden bridge. Walter no longer saw them as sincere and made no attempt to hide the revelation from anyone, including his daughter.

  He was furious. Diverting from his route across the courtyard, he drew his sword and shouted while running after the two girls. Walter stopped when he was sure that he had instilled enough fear into them to make them scarce. He put his sword back into the leather scabbard before making his way to the classroom where Emily sat teaching the young children of Dael to read and write.

  He burst through the door, saying nothing to explain the intrusion and then struck Emily, sending her to the ground. Ceara saw the commotion and ran towards Walter.

  Ceara screamed, ‘Walter, please do not hurt her. She knows what she has done and regrets her sins.’

  The children screamed and ran out of the room, scattering to various pathways and doors.

  ‘You are with child and it seems that the whole townland knows except me, your father.’

  He was enraged and struck Emily once more; as he saw her fall to the ground, he gestured as though he was considering a kick to her stomach but stopped himself before following the blow through.

  ‘Those laced mutton whores that you call friends, mock and laugh at you. By now the whole clan will be laughing at us. How could you do this to me, your mother and your clan? Who is the father? Is it Richard and has he vowed to take you in? If he has not, then I tell you now, I will kill him, whoever he is, come Barrett, Bourke or man of cloth.’

  Emily lay in the corner cowering, afraid to get up, for fear of attracting another blow from her father.

  ‘I’m sorry, Father, the man is someone I fell in love with and is no longer here. I know not where he is to this day.’

  ‘What is his name, tell me now, woman, before I beat it from you?’

  ‘His name is Cirilo, Father.’

  ‘Cirilo? But this is the name of the slave. This cannot be.’

  ‘Father, I’m sorry, I love Cirilo, he is a good man with high faith; I do not regret my love for him. I did not want this to happen, please forgive me, I wish to keep the child.’

  Walter’s face went red with rage as the realisation was too much for him to bear. He cried out in anger and pain as he turned around and walked away from Emily to avoid killing her.

  ‘You lay with a slave and gave all the whores in Ireland a good name. How could you do this to the clan? I have a mind to kill you now for what you have done! Even if I showed you mercy, you could be killed by the clan if others were to hear of this. We will need to end its life and even though it is an evil, we must conceal such a sin.’

  ‘Father, I will not kill my baby to conceal my sin. God knows my sin whatever is done. This is a sin you will not have to worry about. I fell in love with Cirilo, my act was not through lust, but through love and passion and it is only now that I realise the true meaning of love through sufferance.’

  ‘No you don’t. You have no idea of the sufferance to come.’

  Walter struck her once more across the face, she cried out in agony as her nose gushed with blood.

  ‘Stop it, Walter, stop now before we have great quarrel,’ demanded Ceara.

  ‘Do not speak like this! Knowing that Emily loves this man does not make it better or easier to bear the pain and whether God knows or not makes no change to how it will be mocked by others. No one must know of this. If they do, then you must tell them that you were raped by the man. You must comply with my terms now if you are to survive death. May God amend you well.’

  She was terrified and screamed out her reply in utter grief.

  ‘I understand, Father, but please do not ask me to kill my baby, for I resist on pain of death itself. I will do anything to keep my baby. You will need to kill me as well as the child.’

  ‘Then you must leave these parts forever. You do not understand, Emily, what you have done is unforgiveable. The false account of rape is a condition of your continued existence before God. It must be kept unfeigned in order for you to keep your life and to keep the honour of the clan whole.’

  Walter was so angry, he knew that he had to walk away and leave Emily. If he did not, then he feared that he would strike her down again. And this time, she may not get up.

  Despite his strong Catholic values, he insisted that the pregnancy would need to be terminated. Failing that, then the baby would be smothered at birth and declared stillborn, but that was a discussion for another day soon. Emily was resolute, determined and would never allow it.

  Walter was under no illusion that he had now lost his daughter. He would never be able to bring himself to support her in anyway, other than with the secret disposal of the baby which was growing within her. Any other action would end in her being outcast from the Welsh clans of Mayo. Under the usual laws of the community, the father of her unborn baby should either marry her or provide a dowry to her family. Since neither of these was possible and there was deep hatred within the clan, then Cirilo would most likely be murdered.

  As her pregnancy became obvious, rumours and gossip amongst the communities were becoming more common. She had no friends, but for Sally and sought consolation with the church. One day, as Emily walked through Crossmolina towards the disguised church, she was attacked and beaten to the ground by several wiry and disgustingly aggressive women. The attack was not isolated and abuse, being beaten and spat on by local women and family was common. She faced
the threat of rape by some young men, although until now, it had not been carried out. The attackers backed away, apparently refusing to touch a woman who had lay with a blackamoor.

  Father Conall made it clear to Emily that she and Cirilo had sinned in the eyes of the Lord. Eventually, the priest had to accept her confessions and provide conditional sanctuary for her. She could not stay there long without causing great unrest in the community and as the word spread, she would soon need a safe haven away from her home townland.

  Later that day, without reference to her confession, Father Conall presented his opinion on the fate of Emily and the baby to Walter and Ceara. He suggested that even though Emily should be forgiven her sins, it was clear that it would not be accepted by the clan or the wider community. For the sake of them all, they had no choice. Emily had to leave Crossmolina and would be given no shelter by any man or woman excepting the nuns. In Gaelic law, illegitimate sons were allowed to become heirs to the estate, but this could not be allowed.

  With the influence of Ceara, Walter spared their lives. It broke his heart to affirm to the Nemed that Emily was no longer his daughter. Walter gave orders that she be transported as Father Conall’s wishes to a convent until the baby was born. The priest took little pleasure in providing the unwelcome news that there were no convents left to send her.

  Most monks and nuns had not been allowed a place of worship since King Henry destroyed the abbeys and convents many years earlier prior to establishing the Church of Ireland. The dissolution of the monasteries had been almost completed. If there were any such communities, then the Catholic Church would not reveal them to the English. The counter-reformation depended on maintaining the church, but through covert worship until a political leader succeeded in overcoming the English and overthrowing the Church of Ireland. Any disclosure of Catholic practices would expose the priests, nuns and worshipers to further persecution. In addition, Puritans believed that the reformation had not fully succeeded. Therefore, there could be a fresh attack on the faith at any time. This quandary, plus the stories of nuns being raped in Ulster meant that most “Vowed” women were now living covertly within villages rather than in devout church communes.