White Horses

by Joan Wolf

  “Like today, I think,” Sully said. “Clear but cold.”

  “Sully is our weatherman,” Emma explained. “I don’t know how he does it, but he always seems to know what’s going to happen next.”

  “I feel it in my bones,” Sully said.

  Luc whispered something to Gabrielle and she nodded.

  Leo frowned. “Are you ready to leave, Gabrielle?” he asked.

  “But you haven’t had anything to drink, Leo,” Jeanne pointed out.

  “I don’t want anything,” Leo said.

  Gabrielle said, “It is getting late. Why don’t you come back to the hotel with us, Sully?”

  Sully gave her a sad smile. “Don’t you trust me, Gabrielle?”

  “It’s not that. I just thought you might be ready to leave.”

  “Go along with her, Sully,” Henri said. “You don’t need another drink.”

  Sully sighed. “Oh, very well.” He stood up. “Let’s go, Gabrielle.”

  Leo stood up and Gabrielle followed. They all said their good-nights and exited out into the cold, dark street. Colette went with them.

  “How do you know I don’t have a bottle in my room?” Sully asked as they walked back toward the hotel.

  Gabrielle’s head whipped around. “Do you?”

  “Not at the moment,” Sully replied.

  Leo said, “She’s made herself vulnerable, bringing you back this year, Sully. Don’t let her down by getting drunk again.”

  Sully was silent.

  “Did you hear me?” Leo asked.

  “Yes, I did. And I have told Gabrielle that I will try to stay sober.”

  “Everyone has something to be sad about,” Leo said. “We have to learn to live with it.”

  “It’s not always that easy,” Sully said.

  “I didn’t say it was easy. I just said it had to be done.”

  Gabrielle went to peek into the salon when they reached the hotel, but Mathieu and Albert had gone to bed. Leo and Gabrielle said good-night to Sully in the lobby and went up the stairs to their bedroom.

  “You could have been more sympathetic,” Gabrielle said accusingly as soon as the door had closed behind them. “Poor Sully. He was devastated when his daughter died.”

  “Your husband died, but you didn’t become a drunk,” Leo said.

  “I’m young. It’s easier for the young to recover from a tragedy.”

  “I don’t think it’s good for the circus to have a drunk traveling with it,” Leo said.

  “I don’t like drunks, either, but this is Sully. We should be trying to help him, not blame him.”

  “You won’t help him by sympathizing with him,” Leo said.

  “Goodness,” Gabrielle exclaimed. “I certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to disappoint you. You’re very unforgiving.”

  Leo froze. “What do you mean by that?”

  She looked at him for a moment in silence. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t hurt me,” he said coldly.

  “Well, I think you’re being too hard on poor Sully.”

  He said tensely, “You’re the one who’s worried he will have a bad effect on the rest of the circus members.”

  She waved her hand in dismissal. “Let’s not talk about it anymore.” She went to sit in the chair that was in front of the fireplace. “Do you think Jeanne was flirting with you tonight?”

  He remained standing. “Why?”

  “Pierre gets upset when she talks to other men, and I was just wondering if her conversation was innocent or if she was really flirting. What did you think?”

  “I don’t know,” he said impatiently. “I wasn’t paying much attention to her.”

  She rested her hands on the arms of the chair. “I should think you’d know if someone was flirting with you or not!”

  “I know that Luc was flirting with you,” he replied. “And I must say it doesn’t do my ego any good to have my supposed wife flirting with another man. You might have some consideration for me, I think.”

  She glared at him. “I was not flirting with Luc!”

  He walked over to the fireplace and leaned his shoulders against the wall next to it. “He was whispering in your ear.”

  “That’s not flirting.”.

  He arched his eyebrows skeptically. “Obviously you don’t know what flirting is, then. Well, clearly you don’t. You had to ask me if Jeanne was flirting with me.”

  “Well, you didn’t know, either!”

  They glared at each other. Colette came over to push her head into Gabrielle’s lap. Gabrielle petted her and said, “It’s all right, girl. No one is yelling at you.”

  “I was not yelling,” Leo said.

  “You scared Colette.”

  He took a step away from the wall. “I meant what I said, Gabrielle. I don’t like the way Luc monopolizes you. What must the others think of me that I allow it?”

  “What do you care what a bunch of circus folk think of you?” she shot back. “You’re an aristocrat. We should feel lucky that you notice us at all.”

  This was so exactly what he had thought himself that he didn’t know what to say. Then he was furious that she had read him so clearly.

  He glared at her. She looked so lovely as she sat there, petting her dog. Her cheeks were flushed and her great brown eyes were sparkling with temper.

  Why the hell does she have to be so damn pretty?

  “If that’s what you think of me, then I have nothing more to say to you,” he said stiffly.

  “It’s just as well we stop talking, because you are making me angry,” she replied.

  He turned away and went to open the window.

  “It’s cold in here. We don’t need the window opened,” she said.

  He replied over his shoulder, “I always sleep with an opened window. It’s healthy.”

  “You didn’t like what happened last night when I got cold in bed,” she said sweetly. “If you don’t want a repetition of that incident, then I suggest you leave the window closed.”

  He couldn’t seem to win an argument with her. “Fine,” he said through his teeth, and slammed the window shut.

  “Get your nightclothes and we’ll get undressed,” she said. Then, to the dog, “Get up on the bed, Colette. It’s time to go to sleep.”

  “Can’t that dog sleep on the floor?” Leo asked. “I have no room for my feet.”

  “You’re lucky you’re not sleeping on the floor,” she retorted.

  “Did she sleep with you and your husband?” he asked.

  Gabrielle hesitated.

  “Ha,” he said. “She didn’t.”

  “You’re not my husband,” she pointed out. “I very nicely offered to let you share the bed with me. You’re just going to have to put up with Colette!”

  With that, they turned their backs on each other and proceeded to get into their nightclothes.

  Fifteen

  The bed felt very crowded. Between the bulk of Leo on one side and Colette at the bottom, Gabrielle felt as if there was no room left for her.

  It didn’t seem so crowded the first time we did this, she thought. I wonder if this bed is smaller than the one in Amiens.

  It had looked the same size; this just felt smaller.

  Leo was lying on his side, with his back turned to her. It was a nice, broad back and it radiated heat. It would be lovely to cuddle up against that back, she thought.

  He would probably have a heart attack if I did that.

  Andre had not had a back like that. Andre had been much slimmer than Leo. He had not taken up so much of the bed.

  How dare Leo accuse her of flirting with Luc? It wasn’t true. She was simply trying to be nice to Luc. She didn’t want him quitting the circus in a fit of jealous temper. That would leave her in the lurch in regard to an equestrian. They had been tremendously lucky to pick up Luc so soon after Andre had died.

  What will Luc say when he finds out that I wasn’t married to Leo
after all? How am I going to explain to the rest of them that Leo and I were only pretending to be married?

  It hadn’t seemed to be a big problem when she had first agreed to the masquerade. She had thought she would confess to the rest of them that she had been carrying gold for Monsieur Rothschild and that Leo had been sent along as Monsieur Rothschild’s representative.

  But now the French army was involved.

  She could be regarded as a traitor. Traitors were guillotined.

  Gabrielle shivered and curled herself into a ball. I was a fool to take on this responsibility. And now I am stuck with it.

  Perhaps Leo and I can pretend to have a fight and separate over it. Then no one will have to know that we were never married.

  Restlessly, she shifted position.

  “What’s the matter?” Leo said out loud. “Can’t you sleep?”

  “I’m worried,” she confided. “I wish I had never agreed to take this gold. If I am caught with it, I could be executed!”

  He turned around so that he was facing her. He raised himself up on his elbow. The curtains that covered the window were thin and the moonlight shone through them, lighting the room. “Nobody is going to execute you,” he said. “The gold is well hidden, Gabrielle. I nailed those boards down tonight. Even if the wagons are searched, they’re not going to find the gold.”

  “You can’t be sure of that. If they get suspicious enough, they might tear up the floorboards in our wagons.”

  “I don’t think that will happen.”

  She let out a long, uneven breath. “I didn’t think this through. All I saw was that Papa had carried gold before and that I would get money for Albert. I didn’t realize that this was a very different kind of mission from the ones that Papa had taken on.”

  He didn’t say anything, just gazed down into her face.

  “How are the English going to get the gold out of my wagons?” she asked.

  “Don’t worry. They’ll do it in secret.”

  “That might not be so easy.”

  “They’ll manage it. Don’t worry,” he said again.

  “How can I help but worry? Then, on top of everything else, I have you accusing me of flirting with Luc!”

  There was a moment of silence. Then he said, “Where did that come from?”

  “From you. You said I was flirting with Luc. I don’t flirt with people, Leo. I am simply trying to be nice to Luc so he won’t get into a temper and leave the circus.”

  “Do you need him so much? Can’t Mathieu and Albert take his place?”

  “They are not as accomplished with tricks as he is.”

  She heard him sigh.

  “It may not be important to you,” she continued. “You are only with us for a month and then you will leave and go back to your own life. This is my life and I have to protect it. And I am not doing a very good job of that so far.”

  “You’re doing fine,” he said.

  To her horror, she felt tears fill her eyes. Furiously, she blinked them back. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and have him hold her and comfort her. But all he would do would be to stiffen up against her, like he did this morning.

  “That’s what you think,” she muttered.

  “The circus members clearly hold you in great respect,” he said. “No one is challenging your authority. It seems to me that you are doing very well—you could be one of my captains any day.”

  She gave a watery chuckle.

  “Let me worry about the gold,” he repeated. “That’s what I’m here for. You concentrate on your circus.”

  She said in a small voice, “If you are caught with the gold you could be executed as a spy.”

  “What cheerful thoughts you are thinking,” he said. “I think we have done a few things to shore up our situation in case we are stopped again. I will now be part of the circus, and thus less suspicious. And the gold is now better secured. No one is going to pull up those floorboards unless they have solid information against us.”

  She thought about that for a while. “You’re right,” she said at last. “I’ll try to stop worrying.”

  “Good. Now, go to sleep or you won’t be worth anything in the morning.”

  She cuddled down under her blankets. Colette felt nice and warm against her bare feet. “All right. And—thank you, Leo.”

  “You’re welcome. Good night.” He turned over and once more presented her with his back.

  As Leo collected money for tickets the following morning, he noticed that Franz was deep in conversation with Jeanne in front of the rope walkers’ wagon. As he watched, they were joined by Henri and Carlotta. After a few minutes’ conversation, Jeanne walked away, to-ward the bandwagon where the Laurent brothers were shining their instruments. There was no sign of Jeanne’s husband, Pierre.

  Leo remembered Gabrielle’s question about whether or not Jeanne had been flirting with him. He thought she had been, but he hadn’t wanted to say so to Gabrielle. She had enough on her mind without having to worry about the love life of her employees.

  Leo watched the show and grudgingly tried to memorize Gerard’s act. He clenched his jaw as he watched Gerard chase Sully away from the tightrope on which he had just tried to hang washing.

  Maybe I won’t have to do this, he thought grimly. Maybe we won’t be stopped by any more roadblocks.

  But in his heart he knew that would happen. He knew the French would have the roads south covered and were going to be stopping any convoy as large as the circus.

  He thought of what Gabrielle had said last night. She’s right. I’m an army officer out of uniform. If I’m caught carrying this gold I could be executed as a spy.

  On that cheerful thought he returned his attention to the ring, where Carlotta and Henri and Franz were dancing high above the ground on their tightropes.

  Leo was seated with the band, and, as the rope dancers went out, he saw Franz wink at Jeanne, who was playing the horn. Leo’s eyes went immediately to Pierre, but he was staring straight ahead and didn’t appear to have noticed anything.

  Leo frowned. Gabrielle didn’t need a straying wife making trouble in her circus.

  After the show was over, Gabrielle came to find him. The afternoon sun had warmed the air and she had changed into her blue skirt and jacket.

  “Leo,” she said, “I want you to come into town with me so we can get you a ringmaster costume.”

  He closed his eyes, then opened them again. “Is that really necessary?”

  Her huge brown eyes regarded him with disfavor. “I thought we had been through all of this. Yes, if we are stopped again and questioned, we are going to introduce you as our ringmaster. You were supposed to be watching Gerard today to study the part.”

  “I know. I did.” A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I don’t want to do this, Gabrielle.”

  “I don’t care what you want!” she snapped. “All I care about is being safe. I thought we discussed all of this, Leo! You said you would do it.”

  He could feel himself freezing up. “All right. I said I would do it and I will.”

  She gave him a beautiful smile, which he did not respond to. “It will only be for a little while and then you can go away and forget all about us.”

  He thought grimly that being a ringmaster in a circus was not something he’d ever forget.

  “We’ll have to take one of our wagons,” she said.

  He frowned. “I suppose the gold should be safe on the streets of Rouen.”

  “Good,” she said. “Come along, then. We have to be back in time for the second show.”

  The first store they went into was a men’s store in a narrow cobbled street not far from the cathedral. Leo left the wagon with Tonton and Jacques tied to a hitching post and they went into the store.

  “May I help you, monsieur?” the clerk said as he came up to them.

  Leo was looking around the shop with disdain. “My husband is looking for a red hunting jacket, and we need it right away,” Gabrielle told the c
lerk.

  The clerk looked at Leo. “Monsieur is very large.”

  “I know,” Gabrielle said. “Do you have anything that you could alter to fit him?”

  “I am afraid not, madame. I do very little business in hunting jackets. You might try Flaubert’s, which is just down the street. They cater more to that type of people.”

  “What ‘type of people’ does he mean?” Leo asked as they exited the store.

  “Rich people,” Gabrielle said succinctly. “Only the rich can afford to chase around after poor little foxes.”

  They began to walk down the street toward the other shop.

  “Those ‘poor little foxes’ are vermin who destroy crops,” Leo retorted.

  “Think of how he must feel,” Gabrielle said. “A little fox, out on the land, happily going about being a fox, when all of a sudden he is attacked by a huge band of dogs, all baying at him, followed by all of these humans crashing after him on big horses. It doesn’t seem fair to me.”

  Leo, who had hunted since he was ten, and who loved it, said, “You’re being silly and sentimental.”

  “I am simply seeing things from the viewpoint of the fox,” she said. “If everyone in the world was able to see things from the viewpoint of others, the world would be a much happier place to live in.”

  He had never thought such a thing before. He said slowly, “But if one always saw both sides of things, it would be impossible to act.”

  “That might not be a bad thing,” she said. “There would certainly be fewer wars.”

  He looked at her. “Is this your own viewpoint or was it your father’s?”

  “It’s mine,” she said. “It seems to me that there is very little reverence for life in our world. When a half a million men can be killed in one military campaign— well, I think that’s mad.”

  “I don’t disagree with you,” he said. “But that’s very different from a fox.”

  “Reverence for life is reverence for life,” she said. “It’s one thing to kill an animal because you need to eat—that I understand. Animals kill one another in order to eat. But for sport? That is something different.”

  Leo searched for something to reply. He didn’t agree with her about foxhunting, but he couldn’t come up with an acceptable reason except that it was great fun. He didn’t think she would be impressed by such an answer.