White Horses

by Joan Wolf

  “Yes, this time you had the sense to keep your mouth closed.”

  He shot her an annoyed look. “The last time you left me alone with Mathieu. I had to talk. It would have looked strange if a boy had done all the talking.”

  “I don’t care how strange it may have looked, you should have kept quiet.”

  He didn’t reply, but a muscle jumped in his jaw.

  She changed the subject. “I hope you have the role of ringmaster down. You’re going to have to play it tomorrow.”

  He turned his head. “What are you talking about?”

  “You said you would be the ringmaster if we were stopped again. And those men are coming to the circus.”

  “I said you could introduce me as your ringmaster. But you didn’t even have to do that. Those soldiers know nothing about me. There is absolutely no reason for me to play the ringmaster in tomorrow’s shows.”

  She glared at him. “It isn’t just the army that we have to fool, Leo. Did you hear Luc at lunchtime? He is suspicious of you.”

  He set his jaw. “Yes, I heard him.”

  “The last thing we need is Luc poking around in our wagons.”

  “I keep telling you, there is nothing to find in the wagons. The gold is well hidden under the floorboards.”

  “If you became our ringmaster it might help quell Luc’s suspicions. It would look as if you were really interested in becoming a part of the circus.”

  He said between his teeth, “I am not going to be your ringmaster, Gabrielle. Will you please get that through your head?”

  “You think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” she shot at him.

  “I will not even deign to answer that remark.”

  “Because it’s true!”

  He didn’t reply.

  “Very well,” Gabrielle said coldly. “If you want to ride in silence, then silence you shall have.”

  They neither of them said a word until they met Vincent on the outskirts of Alencon.

  Vincent had engaged two hotels to put up the circus members, and Gabrielle, Leo, Mathieu, Albert, Emma, Gerard, Sully and Paul went to one, while the others went to a second hotel down the street. The hotel Gabrielle was staying at was small, so the circus party went to eat at a restaurant the concierge recommended.

  Gabrielle thawed toward Leo as the good food made its way into her stomach, and she coaxed Sully to talk and tell them about his life in a circus in Austria. Paul also had some good stories—before he had joined the Cirque Equestre this year he had been a juggler with a traveling circus that went through Germany. That circus had actually had a tame tiger, and the boys had many questions about such a fabulous beast.

  Circus folk certainly saw a lot of the world, Leo thought as he listened to the men talk. It was a hard life, with the constant traveling, but he supposed there could be worse. Sully and Paul certainly sounded as if they had enjoyed their adventures.

  After dinner, they went back to the hotel and Mathieu asked Leo if he would have time to show him some algebra. Leo agreed, and he and Mathieu set up in the small salon that the hotel provided for its guests. Gabrielle elected to stay with them and read while Albert took out his ubiquitous drawing pad. Sully, Paul, Emma and Gerard decided to join the group from the other hotel at a cafe.

  After half an hour, Leo looked up while Mathieu was studying a problem he had written out. Albert was concentrated on his drawing, and his eyes moved to Gabrielle, where she sat reading by the light of the fire. Her long hair fell in a single thick braid down her back, and the firelight glinted off her smooth cheek and brow and illuminated the long lashes that were lowered as she looked at the book in her lap.

  She’s just so damn beautiful, Leo thought.

  As if she had felt his gaze, she looked up from her book. She smiled at him. “How is the lesson going?”

  You could warm your hands at her smile, he thought.

  “Very well,” he answered. “What are you reading?”

  “De la Gueriniere’s School of Horsemanship. It’s my favorite book. Listen to this and you’ll see how delicate the art of true horsemanship is.” She looked back at the page and read, “ ‘The aid of putting weight onto the stirrups is the subtlest of all the aids; the legs then serve as counterweight to straighten the haunches and to hold the horse straight in the balance created by the rider’s heel. This aid presupposes a high degree of obedience in the horse and much sensitivity, since by the mere act of putting more weight on one stirrup than the other, a horse is brought to respond to this movement.’”

  Leo pursed his lips in a silent whistle. “Do you do that?”

  “Yes.”

  He gave her a rueful smile. “I can see why you didn’t think I was ready to ride your horses.”

  “You can learn,” she said. “It just takes practice and the right instruction.”

  He said, “The boys tell me that you have written a book about equitation.”

  She looked surprised. Her great eyes shimmered in the firelight. “They told you that?”

  “Yes. Are you ever going to publish it?”

  She gave her customary shrug. “I am only a circus girl. Who is going to publish my book? When Papa was alive, perhaps he could have gotten it published, but he never got around to it.”

  “Perhaps I can get it published for you,” he found himself saying.

  Her eyes got even larger. “You?”

  “I have some influence, Gabrielle. If you can’t get it published in France, perhaps I can have it published in England.”

  “Someone would have to translate it. Although I speak English fairly well—we once had an English juggler travel with us and he taught me—I’m not knowledgeable enough to translate a book.”

  “Getting it translated shouldn’t be a difficulty.”

  “But would the English be interested in it? Classical riding is not very popular in England anymore.”

  He suddenly decided that he was going to make it his business to see her book get published. She was the best damn rider he had ever seen, and her thoughts on riding would be well worth reading.

  He said decisively, “We’ll try to get it published in France first. Once Napoleon is defeated and the king restored, the atmosphere should be right for a book like yours.”

  Her face glowed. She was beautiful at all times, but when she looked like this…

  “That would be wonderful, Leo. It would make me so happy to know that Papa’s great knowledge will be shared with others.”

  Albert suddenly said, “I’m glad that you came along with us on this trip, Leo. You have made us all very happy.”

  Embarrassed, Leo glanced at Albert. The boy was looking very earnest. “I wish you really were married to Gabrielle,” he said.

  Leo didn’t know what to say.

  Gabrielle answered for him. “Don’t be foolish, Albert. Leo is being nice to us because he is a nice man. There is no chance of us getting married.”

  “Leo would be a better husband than Andre,” Mathieu said. “Andre was just a boy. Leo is a man.”

  “Don’t pay any attention to them, Leo,” Gabrielle said, clearly embarrassed.

  Leo cleared his throat and said to Albert, “I don’t need to be married to Gabrielle to make certain her book is printed. Now, Mathieu, let’s see what you have done with this problem.”

  He bent his head over Mathieu’s work and Gabrielle went back to her book.

  The boys went to bed at ten, but Gabrielle and Leo stayed up, waiting for Sully and Paul to return. Gabrielle wanted to make certain that Sully hadn’t been drinking.

  “What are you going to do if Sully ever becomes too inebriated to perform?” Leo asked her as they sat in front of the dying fire in the salon.

  “That’s never happened,” she said.

  “But if it does?”

  “Even drunk, Sully could perform his part,” she said.

  The room was starting to get cold and Gabrielle stretched her feet out to the fire. Leo looked at those small feet
, clad in sensible boots, and felt something give inside of him.

  She was the loveliest girl he had ever seen. And the bravest. He suddenly realized that if he never made love to Gabrielle Robichon he would regret it all his life.

  So much for his resolution to keep her at a distance.

  She looked at him. “You must give me your dirty clothes, Leo. During the break between shows tomorrow I will take them to the laundry.”

  He almost laughed, so at odds were her thoughts to his. In an attempt to turn her thoughts, he asked, “Do you ever get lonely, Gabrielle?”

  She turned to look at him. “What brought that question on?”

  “I don’t know. I was just thinking that you must miss having someone to share your life with.”

  She returned her gaze to the fire. “I missed Andre terribly at first, but it is not so bad now. I’m not alone, after all. I have my brothers.”

  “Brothers can’t hold you in the middle of the night.”

  Her eyes widened. “Now you sound like Luc. That is just the sort of thing he is always saying to try to get me to marry him.”

  Well, that put me in my place, Leo thought wryly. The last thing he wanted was to sound like Luc. Nor was he thinking of marriage.

  She leaned forward and poked the coals on the fire. “I think that being a little lonely is a fact of life. There’s only so much you can share with another person. There’s always a part of you that stays alone.”

  He thought that this was an interesting comment on her marriage.

  She turned her head to him. “Do you get lonely, Leo?”

  “Sometimes.”

  She nodded. “I can tell that about you. Even when you are in company, there is always a space around you. But perhaps that is because you know you don’t belong here.”

  “Don’t get started on my being an aristocrat,” he said warningly. “I think I get along very well with your circus members. They all seem to like me.”

  “They do,” she said. “But I don’t think any of them would be surprised to learn that you are really an English aristocrat. You have that air about you.” She gave him a brilliant smile. “It’s why you will be such a good ring- master.”

  He looked at her. Then he said slowly, “If I said I would be your ringmaster, would you kiss me?”

  She stared at him, her eyes huge with astonishment. “Are you serious?”

  He couldn’t believe that he had said that. He needed to take it back. He opened his mouth and said, “Very serious.”

  She swallowed. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  “It might be very nice,” he said.

  “If I kissed you, you would really be our ringmaster?”

  Say no, he thought. He heard his voice say “Yes.”

  “Well…” A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I’ll do it,” she said.

  He stood up. “Not here. Upstairs, in our bedroom.”

  She looked a little uncertain.

  “Come along,” he said as he led her out of the room. “…It won’t be so bad I promise.”

  Twenty

  “I have to take Colette out first,” she said as they stepped into the hallway.

  “Fine. I want to check on the wagons, anyway.”

  They took a lantern and went out into the deserted stable yard, and while Colette did her business, Leo walked around the wagons.

  “Why didn’t you hire a boy to watch them tonight?” Gabrielle asked.

  “It was understandable in Rouen, where there was a problem with wagons being stolen, but I doubt that Alencon shares that problem. I was afraid that if I seemed overly concerned with the wagons, people might wonder why.”

  “People like Luc,” Gabrielle said.

  “He doesn’t like me and thinks he has reason to resent me. We don’t want him spreading suspicion among the rest of the circus.”

  “That we don’t,” she agreed fervently.

  “The wagons will be all right here in the stable yard,” he said.

  She thought he sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as well as her.

  “They can’t be stolen twice!” she said. “That would be unbelievable.”

  “Let’s hope you’re right.”

  Gabrielle called to Colette and together they walked back into the hotel and up the stairs to their bedroom. Once they were inside Colette went over to her mattress and they stopped and looked at each other. Leo lifted his hand and smoothed a finger over her cheekbone. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he said.

  “You are not so bad yourself,” she returned.

  “This has got to be a serious kiss,” he warned. “I’m not going to be ringmaster for just a peck.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “I keep my bargains,” she replied.

  “Good.” He bent his head and kissed her.

  Her mouth was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. He held her against him, so he could feel the silhouette of her body, and moved his mouth over hers, asking her to open to him. After a moment, she did, and his tongue found hers and she answered him. He bent her back in his arms, and her arms came up to clasp him around the neck. The feel of her had him in a state of full arousal.

  And yet, he tried to be gentle. She was so delicate, her bones were so small. He wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off and slide into her, but he was still aware that this was Gabrielle, that she was trusting him, that he could never do anything that would hurt her. Alongside his lust bloomed the flower of tenderness, and when he straightened up and her arms remained around his neck and her feet came off the ground, he scooped her up and laid her gently on the bed, his mouth never once letting go of hers.

  Maybe she’ll let me…

  He slid his mouth away from hers and rained kisses on her cheek all the way to her ear. “Gabrielle,” he whispered. “How I have longed for you.”

  She made a tiny sound of acquiescence.

  Suddenly a cold nose was poking at his face. “What the—” he said.

  It was Colette, come to see what was going on. She whuffled a little and licked Gabrielle’s cheek. Gabrielle’s eyes flew open.

  “Mon Dieu.” she said. “What are we doing?”

  Shit, Leo thought. If he could have strangled the dog right then, he would have done it.

  Gabrielle sat up and Leo removed himself from the bed and looked at her. Colette tried to jump up on the bed to join Gabrielle. “No, no,” Gabrielle said shakily. “You can’t come up here, Colette.”

  “Come with me,” Leo said to the dog. He put a hand on her collar and led her over to her mattress. Colette stood on the mattress and looked at Gabrielle, who was still sitting up in bed.

  Leo petted the dog. “She’s all right, Colette. She’s fine. Now, lie down like a good girl and go to sleep.”

  The dog looked at him.

  “Down, Colette,” he said firmly.

  The dog lowered herself to the mattress.

  “Good girl.”

  He straightened up and turned to look at Gabrielle. “We seem to have gotten a little carried away,” he said.

  She swung her legs, clad in the blue skirt, over the side of the bed and stood up. “We certainly did,” she replied. She was very flushed. “If it wasn’t for Colette, I don’t know what would have happened.”

  He gave the dog a grim look. “I know.”

  “This is terrible, Leo,” she said. “How can we possibly share a bed after what just happened?”

  I know how we can share a bed, he thought.

  “I don’t know what got into me,” Gabrielle said.

  “It was my fault,” he said. “I just liked kissing you so much, I didn’t want to stop.”

  She was already flushed and now a little more color washed into her cheeks. “I liked kissing you, too.” She sounded mortified.

  He walked over to her and took her hands in his. “Don’t be upset. Nothing terrible has happened except you kissed me and now I have to be your ringmaster.”

>   Her brown eyes looked troubled. “Is that all?”

  “Certainly.”

  “And you think we can continue to share the same bed? You won’t mind?”

  It would be hell, but he wasn’t about to let himself be kicked out now. He had every intention of following up on the start he had made tonight.

  “It will be fine,” he said.

  She bit her lip. He looked at her white teeth as they sank into the softness of her lower lip, and something inside him clenched.

  He wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

  “All right,” she said. “I suppose we can go on as usual.”

  He raised one of her hands to his mouth and kissed it. “That’s a good girl.”

  Colette got off her bed and came to thrust her head between them.

  “How the hell did you ever become intimate with your husband with her around?” Leo growled.

  Gabrielle smiled. “It’s an art,” she said, and, putting her hand on Colette’s collar, led her back to her bed.

  Gabrielle curled up on the edge of the bed, as far away from Leo as she could manage.

  Whatever got into me? she thought. God knows what would have happened if Colette hadn’t interfered.

  She had known she was attracted to him. Well, he was a gorgeous man. And he had been very kind to her brothers. But it was more than that. There was something in him that appealed to her very much; that sense of loneliness, perhaps, that made her want to get close to him and ease it.

  Obviously he was attracted to her. But Gabrielle didn’t fool herself about his intentions. He would like her to sleep with him, but he wasn’t going to marry her. The social gap between them was too great.

  If she let him make love to her, she would fall in love with him.

  That way lies only heartache, she told herself. I would be a fool to put myself through that.

  This business of our sharing the same bed is dangerous.

  But she didn’t know how to change it. At this point, she didn’t have the heart to make him sleep on the floor. Plus, he probably wouldn’t go.

  Somehow, Leo had established himself as something very big in her life—and in her brothers’ lives, too. She thought of Albert’s wish that they were really married.