White Horses

by Joan Wolf

  Dolly looked flabbergasted. “You did?”

  “Yes.” Leo replied serenely.

  Lady Rivers appeared at the top of the staircase.

  “Mama!” Dolly cried. “Leo has come to see you!”

  “Yes, I know,” Lady Rivers replied. “Come upstairs to the drawing room, Leo, where we can be private.”

  Leo followed his mother as she led him toward a yellow-painted room off the hallway. Lady Rivers closed the door firmly behind him and looked up into his face. Her eyes filled with tears. “Thank God you are all right,” she said. “We were notified that you were wounded, but you seem well enough.”

  “I am fine,” he replied. “A little stiff in the middle, perhaps, but that will wear off.”

  She blinked back the tears so that they didn’t fall.

  “Please sit down,” she said. “When did you get to Bran- ford?”

  “Yesterday,” he replied.

  She nodded and took a seat on a gold striped sofa. He sat on a gold velvet chair facing it.

  “I was surprised to hear from you,” she said cautiously.

  Now that he was here, it was hard finding a place to start. He nodded and said, “How did Dolly’s first season go?”

  “Very well. She got two proposals of marriage from very eligible men, but she informed me that she didn’t love either of them, so we will try again next year.”

  “What was wrong with the two eligible men?”

  “Nothing, as far as I could see—except the fact that Dolly didn’t love them.”

  He frowned a little, and she added, as if she expected him to object, “After all, she is only eighteen, Leo. There is no rush.”

  “Of course not,” he said firmly. “It’s important to love the person one marries. I have come to understand that very well.”

  There was a little silence, then Lady Rivers said carefully, “Are you by any chance in love yourself?”

  He looked at her. She was still a very lovely woman. When he had been a child he had thought her the most beautiful woman in all the world. “Yes, I am.”

  “Tell me about her,” she said.

  He took a long breath. “Her name is Gabrielle Robichon and she is the proprietor of a French circus. She smuggled gold for the army from Belgium to the south of France, and I rode with the circus the whole time to keep an eye on the money.”

  He paused for breath, and to try to ascertain his mother’s reaction. She looked astounded. “She owns a circus?” she murmured.

  “An equestrian circus. She is the best rider I have ever seen. To watch her ride is magical.”

  She said, “She does not sound like an…appropriate… person for you to fall in love with, Leo.”

  He leaned a little in her direction. “If you look at it with worldly eyes, she isn’t. But she is the most beautiful, brave, the most gallant woman I have ever met. a better person than I am, Mama. In the eyes of God, she stands miles ahead of me.”

  She looked down at her hands, which were clasped in her lap, then back up to him. “Why have you come to me?” she asked finally.

  He leaned slightly more forward. “I want you to help her to be accepted by society. I don’t want to marry Gabrielle and have her ostracized by my own people. She doesn’t deserve that.”

  Lady Rivers changed the way her hands were clasped; otherwise she was motionless. “Leo,” she said. “Tell me how you came to fall in love with this girl.”

  He told her how he had looked down on the “circus girl” when first they met; he told her how gallant Gabrielle was, shouldering the burden of her young brothers and of all the people in the circus who were depending her. He told of her kindness, of her tolerance, of charity.

  “My mind was so prejudiced by the social gap between us, that I never thought of marrying her until I had left her,” he concluded. “I knew I was miserable without her, but it took a bullet in my back to make me realize that the only way my life could be important was for me to be with her. I thought and I thought about how I could marry her and make my world accept her, and finally I thought of you.” He fixed her with a pleading look. “Do you think you can help me, Mama?”

  She searched his face. “Leo…how does this girl feel about you?”

  “She loves me. I know she loves me.”

  “What about this circus that you say is so important to her?”

  “I’ll pay them all double what they would have got for the rest of the season. That way she won’t have to worry about leaving them in the lurch. And her beloved horses can come to Branford—and her brothers as well. You’ll like Mathieu and Albert, Mama. They are wonderful youngsters.”

  She smiled faintly. “You seem to have figured this all out.”

  “I’ve figured out everything except a way to make sure that Gabrielle is accepted into the ton. I don’t want her ever to feel inferior, Mama. That would be a terrible thing to do to her.”

  Lady Rivers got practical. “What is Gabrielle’s background? Who were her father and her mother?”

  “Her father was Master of the Horse under Louis XVI. I don’t know anything about her mother. Oh! I remember she once said that her grandfather was a minor noble. I had forgot about that.”

  “That is encouraging,” Lady Rivers said. She nodded slowly. “Her father was a member of the court of Louis XVI. Her grandfather was a noble. These are things I can work with.”

  Leo brightened. “Do you think so?”

  Lady Rivers said thoughtfully, “What I might do is hold a ball in order to introduce your new wife to society. I’m sure I can get Sally Jersey to attend—she is a particular friend of mine—and if Sally Jersey comes, the world will follow.”

  “That sounds wonderful, Mama,” Leo said fervently.

  Lady Rivers went on, “I can tell people that her family lost their estate in the Revolution and that she has bravely been raising her little brothers by herself.”

  “That’s not a lie, either,” Leo interjected.

  She raised an eyebrow. “I assume that she is presentable, Leo?”

  “She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

  “Her manners are good?”

  “Her manners are perfect.”

  “I will have to get her a wardrobe. Does she speak English?”

  “Yes.”

  “How well?”

  “Well enough. And she’s very smart. She will pick it up in no time.”

  “Well then…” Lady Rivers straightened her shoulders. ‘“I think we can do it, Leo. She does sound like a brave girl. Her story—if it is presented properly—should garner a great deal of sympathy.”

  He gave her the smile he had not been able to give her in more than a decade. “This is wonderful, Mama.”

  Lady Rivers smiled back. “I think you should be married in the chapel at Branford. All of the family will come. That way Gabrielle will face society as your wife, and the wife of the Earl of Branford is one of the highest positions in English society. There have been Earls of Branford at Branford Abbey since the sixteenth century. Not too many people will want to snub your wife, especially if she is introduced by your family. How does that sound, Leo?” she asked.

  “It sounds wonderful.” His voice was a little subdued and he couldn’t look at her. “I have been thinking…it is very kind of you to support me like this—especially since I nave scarcely been kind to you these past twelve years.”

  She said, with an ache in her voice, “I always understood how you felt, Leo. I have never blamed you for rejecting me.”

  “No. It was wrong of me.” He managed a crooked smile. “Gabrielle tells me that everything can be forgiven, but I didn’t want to forgive. I wanted to remember—and to hurt you, like you had hurt me. It was childish of me. Can you ever forgive me, Mama?”

  “Oh, darling, of course I can forgive you.” Tears started to stream down her face. “Jasper and I were wrong to do what we did, and your finding us the way you did was the worst punishment that could ever have happened to me. I w
ould have given anything to take back that moment—anything!”

  He said in a low voice, “I couldn’t understand it, you see.” His voice took on a painful note. “I still can’t understand it.”

  She looked at him, her eyes full of tears. “Leo…let me try to explain. Your papa and I…our marriage was arranged by our families, and we simply did not love each other the way you love your Gabrielle. When you were still a small boy, I fell in love with Jasper. He loved me back, but for many years we kept our love in check. I tried my best to be a good wife to your father and a good mother to you children. Then your father became ill and it was clear that he would not live.”

  The tears fell faster. “I didn’t wish it on him, Leo. Believe me that I never did that. Your papa was a good man—he was always kind to me. I took the best care of him that I possibly could…”

  Her voice tapered off.

  Leo said flatly, “But Papa’s death meant that you could marry Rivers.”

  “Yes. And for one moment—the only time, Leo!—we allowed ourselves to act out the love that had always been in our hearts.”

  “And I walked in on you.”

  “Yes. Because of my weakness, I lost my son.”

  Silence fell in the room. Then Leo said, “I’m through with judging you, Mama. I know a little myself now about the exigencies of love. It does not always come where it is appropriate or convenient. I can only say that I hope you have found happiness in your years spent with Rivers.”

  “Oh, Leo.” Tears clogged her voice as well as her eyes. “The only flaw in my happiness has been my estrangement from you.”

  “Don’t cry, Mama, please don’t cry.” He moved to sit next to her on the sofa. He took her hand into his. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a boor for all those years.”

  “I never blamed you,” she said.

  He took a square of white linen out of his pocket and put it into her hand. She wiped her cheeks and her streaming eyes.

  “I’m so happy,” she said.

  He smiled. “You don’t look it.”

  “These are tears of joy.”

  “I missed you all these years,” he said. “I missed my family. I was a fool to turn my back on everything I loved the most.”

  “You had reason—good reason. But I hated to see you so alone. And I worried so much the whole time you were in the army.”

  “I’m selling out,” he said. “The biggest battle is over. Now all Wellington has to do is sweep into France from the south while the Allies—which now include Austria— invade from the east. Napoleon’s hours are numbered. I think I’ve done my part. The others can finish it up.”

  “Thank God,” she said. “You were wounded twice. God knows what might have happened the next time.”

  “I have been thinking about that—and once you start thinking that way, you had better get out. I want a long life in front of me to spend with Gabrielle. I don’t want to be buried on some French battlefield.”

  “God bless Gabrielle,” Lady Rivers said. She gave her son a radiant smile. “She has given you back to me.”

  “Yes,” Leo said. He bent his head and kissed his mother’s soft cheek. “She has.”

  Thirty-Seven

  The Battle of Vitoria was fought on June 21; Gabrielle learned of it, and of the thorough trouncing of the French army on June 24. From that date forward, her mind was with the possibility of Leo’s being wounded—the possibility of his being dead. I will never know, she thought. No one will contact me to let me know what happened to him. He could be in grave right now, and I will never know. She had thought she was miserable when he left, but depth of despair into which she fell after she learned of the battle was anguish at its purest.

  Mathieu and Albert worried about her. “This is worse it was when Andre died,” Albert said to Mathieu one night as they got ready for bed in their hotel room. “Then, she mourned. Now she is just—frozen. It’s as if the Gabrielle we know has gone away.”

  “He should have left her alone,” Mathieu said furiously. He kicked his boots into the corner. “He made her fall in love with him and then he just left her. I used to like Leo, but not anymore. Now I think he is a skunk.”

  “He could be dead,” Albeit said. “I think that is what Gabrielle fears the most. There were heavy casualties on both sides—and Leo was wounded once before. And there is no way of us knowing! That’s one of the things that’s so terrible. We have no claim on Leo—there’s no way of finding out what has happened to him.”

  “He was dead to us, anyway,” Mathieu said angrily. He peeled off his stockings and threw them after his boots. “He befriended us and then he left. As far as I am concerned, he is dead.”

  “Don’t say that, Mathieu!”

  “Why not? It’s true. He is supposedly coming back to take you to England with him, but even if he does show up—which I doubt—I don’t think you should go, Albert. We can’t either of us desert Gabrielle now. She needs her family around her.”

  Albert finished taking off his own boots and began to strip off his breeches. “But she said she wants me to go to England! And Leo has said he will help me to become an established artist. I can make money, Mathieu. Perhaps I can help Gabrielle that way.”

  Mathieu pulled on his nightshirt. “Leo said a lot of things. I wouldn’t count on seeing him, if I were you, Albert.”

  Albert took his shirt off over his head and went to get his nightshirt out of his valise. “You don’t think Leo will come for me?” He could not keep the worry out of his voice.

  “I wouldn’t count on it, mon frere,” Mathieu said. “Leo is a great lord. Once he gets back among his own kind, he is likely to forget all about us.”

  “I don’t think Leo is like that,” Albert said.

  “If he’s not like that, then why did he break Gabrielle’s heart?”

  Albert began to put on his nightshirt. His voice sounded muffled from within its folds. “What could he do? He had to go back to the army. He is an officer.”

  “Then he should have left her alone,” Mathieu repeated.

  Albert’s head emerged. “I think Leo fell in love with Gabrielle just the way she fell in love with him.”

  Mathieu got into his side of the bed. “A funny way he has of showing it.”

  “Maybe he will come back and surprise you,” Albert said stubbornly.

  “Yes, and maybe he is buried somewhere in the Spanish. Pyrenees,” Mathieu retorted. “He should never have gone off and left her like that. The not knowing is killing her.”

  Albert got into bed as well. “I am going to pray that Leo comes back,” he said.

  “Go ahead,” Mathieu said. “As for me, I am going to pray that Gabrielle gets over him.” He punched his pillow into the shape he liked, turned his back on Albert and prepared to go to sleep.

  It was a month after Vitoria, and the Cirque Equestre was playing just outside of Lyons. The July day was warm and Gabrielle was hot in her velvet jacket as she put Noble through his paces in front of an appreciative audience.

  The circus had been going well. After all of the disasters of the trip south to Biarritz, things had straightened out. Everyone was getting along with one another; the acts were all solid and well received; the horses were sound; even the weather had cooperated with a succession of rainless days that brought standing-room-only crowds.

  Gabrielle knew that she should be happy. She tried to act happy, and she thought that she had most of the circus people fooled. But Mathieu and Albert saw through her.

  She had caught the anxious glances they sent her way, and she knew they understood how she was feeling. Thank God they didn’t say anything. She could just about manage if she kept her unhappiness bottled up inside of her; if she had to talk about it, she was afraid she would simply fall apart.

  Leo came just after the second show of the day had finished and Gabrielle and the boys were settling the horses for the night. She had just finished picking out Sandi’s hooves, and when she straightened up, he
was standing there before her.

  She could feel every ounce of blood drain from her face.

  “Gabrielle,” Leo said. “I have missed you so much. I love you. Will you marry me?”

  For the first time in her entire life, Gabrielle fainted.

  When she came to, she was lying on the grass outside the corral, with Leo, Mathieu and Albert bending over her.

  “She’s coming around now,” Albeit said thankfully. “Gabrielle! Gabrielle! Are you all right?”

  She looked up into Leo’s eyes. No one had eyes like Leo, she thought. She ran her tongue over her lips to moisten them and said breathlessly, “ What did you say to me?”

  He was watching her gravely. “I said that I missed you, that I loved you, and then I asked you to marry me.”

  “I told you so,” Albert said triumphantly to Mathieu. “Didn’t I tell you that Leo loved Gabrielle?”

  “Shh,” Mathieu said in response.

  “It’s Leo!” someone from behind them called, and the rest of the circus folk began to move in their direction.

  “Where’s your wagon?” Leo said to Gabrielle. “You and I are going somewhere where we can be private.”

  “I’ll show you where it is,” Albert said exuberantly. Leo bent and lifted Gabrielle in his arms. “Just point it out to me,” he said.

  “It’s there, in front of Henri’s,” Mathieu said gruffly.

  Leo nodded and began to stride away, holding Gabrielle in his arms. She hid her face in his shoulder.

  “It’s a good thing you came back,” a voice from behind them called. Leo kept on going.

  Colette was reclining on her couch when Leo reached the open back door of the wagon. “I might have known,” he said humorously. “She always seems to be there whenever I want to be alone with you.”

  “You can put me down now,” Gabrielle said breathlessly.

  “Can we get into the wagon? Everyone is staring at us and it’s a little off-putting.”

  Leo set her on her feet and the two of them climbed into the wagon. Gabrielle coaxed a reluctant Colette off the sofa, then the two of them sat down.

  Gabrielle’s eyes clung to his face. “I was so afraid you have been killed,” she said. “There was no way of my finding out if you had survived the battle or not. I have been so miserable, Leo!”