Justifiable Insanity 2

by Jauwel

  “He got dat bitch ass nigga, Tariq, on the lookout for him. Tariq’s gon’ be up in there wit you and I think you and him are the only ones allowed to watch the game.”

  “Aw shit man!” Tae practically shouted. “The last thing I want is that nigga in there trying to fuck wit me. I ain’t got time for dat shit. I don’t like nobody fuckin wit me during the game and dat nigga whack as hell.” Tae wanted to punch the wall. Tariq tried to catch him in an awkward situation before, so he wasn’t trying to go through that again. On top of that, he knew Tariq would go back and tell Black he was in the STAR program which would cause more problems for him.

  “I had to let you know what was up befo’ you walked in there and saw his ass.” Cotton shook his head, understanding how serious the situation would be for Tae.

  “Shit!” Tae thought for a minute. “Ok, fuck it! Whatever, yo! He gon’ go back and tell Black then he’ll fuck wit’ me even more, but fuck it. He can’t break me, so I’m good.” Tae bucked up. There was nothing he could do, at this point, but go ahead and make some money with Cotton. At least he knew Tariq would be in there, so it wouldn’t be a surprise when he walked in. Tae was tired of running and it wasn’t in his nature to punk down to anyone, so if Black wanted to come for him, he was gonna have to take him down.

  “Hell naw!” Cotton exclaimed. “You already know dat nigga don’t play fair. As long as he got fucking Solomon on his team, ain’t nobody trynna fuck wit’ him. Solomon’s a big muh fucka. You can’t go hands up with Black ‘cause you won’t just be fightin’ Black. He gonna pull Solomon in dat shit if he feel like you gettin' da best of him. Dat’s how he do.”

  “I’ll have to handle it if it come down to that. I got dis, Pops.” Tae joked. “Calm down before I start thinking you really looking out for me.” Tae always knew Cotton had his back. In turn, he had his.

  Later that night, Tae was pulled by Officer Lane to be escorted to the Big Room to watch the game. To the other inmates, it looked like Tae was in trouble and being escorted to administration, which was good for him. When Tae got to the Big Room, it was empty with only two other officers setting things up for tonight’s basketball game. Even though Tariq was not there yet, he knew he would be soon. Tae sat back in the plush chair and kicked his feet up on the chair in front of him. He wanted to be comfortable to watch the game. He was a huge Houston Rockets fan. Tonight, they were playing the San Antonio Pacers, which was a big game for him because he liked the Pacers too.

  “Mmm hmm,” Tae heard Tariq walking in behind him. “I’d know that body anywhere. Hey Tae!” It seemed like Tariq’s voice was more feminine than usual; it was not something he wanted to hear during the whole game. He knew the only reason Tariq was in there was because of Black; he wasn’t interested in the game. Before long, Tariq went and sat in the seat right beside Tae. When Tariq didn’t get the reaction he usually got out of Tae, he moved his chair closer. “So it don’t bother you that I’m this close to you?” He asked.

  “Yo my dude, do what you do. I’m not paying you any attention. I’m just here to watch the game. You stay ova there, I’ma stay ova here, and we’ll be just fine.” Tae tried to say calmly, but was positive Tariq could hear the frustration in his voice.

  The commentators began to discuss the upcoming game and who they thought would take home the victory. Tae listened as they talked about player ability as well as give their opinions on who they believed would be key players in the upcoming game. As Tae prepared for the event, he could hear Tariq still trying to talk to him. He wasn’t sure what he was saying; he simply wanted him to be quiet.

  “Look, yo!” Tae said getting aggravated. “All I really wanna do right now is watch the game. Fuck dat otha shit, for real.” Tae rolled his eyes and shook his head. Tariq looked at him then sat back to watch the large television in front of him.

  “Let me guess, you gotta be a Houston fan.” Tariq continued to look at the television, but could see Tae in the corner of his eye.

  “Yeah man,” Tae responded. “Rockets is my squad.”

  “So lemme see what yo boy Dwight Howard gon’ do tonight. I’m reppin Pacers all da way live. They been my team since I was a shorty.” Tariq conveyed. Tae turned and looked at him. It was the first time he sounded like a nigga from the hood and not a little, feminine man, especially when he was around Black.

  “So you like basketball. You ain’t just in here because Black sent you?” Tae asked, looking at Tariq suspiciously.

  “Man, fuck dat nigga, for real.” Tariq looked down at the floor. “You just don’t know what I been through since I been in here, man. That shit you see from me, that ain’t me.”

  “So you not a bitch?” Tae began to forget about the game and focus on Tariq. He wanted to make sure he was hearing him right; he didn’t know if he trusted him that much. He wasn’t sure Tariq wasn’t just trying to get information for Black. Although he could tell that most times when Tariq was with Black, he looked like he didn’t want to be there. Yet, he had to make sure he played his cards right and paid attention to everything he said.

  “Man, I got a girl on the outside and a baby on da way. This ain’t me. I came in here just like you, on my dolo shit and everybody was on me hard. I got fucked up on a daily basis, been in the infirmary more times than I can count.

  Black came to my fuckin rescue every time, so people backed off because they saw I had back up. I didn’t know that shit would come with a price.” Tariq looked at the screen, something in him wouldn’t let him look at Tae. Maybe it was his pride. Nevertheless, he stared at the screen with a face of stone. Tae could see all the emotions he wanted to release, but sensed Tariq was trying to be hard and hold his ground.

  “You had to survive, yo.” Tae tried to offer words of comfort, but could see it wasn’t working. “You had to do what you had to do to make it in this joint, man.”

  “Yeah, I thought that too, but then I saw how you be holding yo ground on yo dolo and niggas don’t really fuck wit’ you like that. I just wish I would have done something more than what I did. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like this. How am I gonna get out and go to my girl and baby and niggas from Dawkins get out and see me. They gon’ tell her I was a bitch in here, man. I fought that nigga, but his ass was too fuckin strong.”

  “It ain’t on you, yo.” Tae understood there was nothing he could say that would make Tariq feel better. However, at last, he understood what the deal was with Tariq. “That nigga raped you. That ain’t on you.”

  Finally, Tariq looked up from the television and directly into Tae’s eyes. “It’s all good. I got somethin’ hot fo his ass.” Tariq smiled devilishly, rubbing his hands together like he’d just put together a dangerous plan. Looking back at him, Tae could tell he was serious about what he was saying. Tae had been on the block long enough to know if someone said they had something ‘hot’ for somebody, it meant they were gonna kill them. Knowing Tariq was no match for Black, Tae wondered what he planned to do. He still didn’t know how much he trusted Tariq, but he did believe his story.

  “How da fuck you gon’ do dat. Solomon’s on his back all the fuckin time; them niggas will kill you before you blink.”

  “If dats da way it’s gotta be, then it’s whateva.” With an emotional face, Tariq looked at the floor. This time, he didn’t prevent the tears from flowing. “It ain’t no way I’ma look my baby boy in the eyes knowing that shit happened to me. If that nigga get me before I get him, at least I died like a true nigga and not some jailhouse bitch.”

  Tariq straightened up and started to watch the game. Tae couldn’t believe everything he’d heard, but he knew he was going to keep all the information to himself; he wouldn’t even tell Cotton. They didn’t say another word to each other, unless it was about the game. Tae had to admit that Tariq was a cool dude and if he had met him on the outside of Dawkins, maybe they would be some type of friends. He felt bad for him, for his girl, and his new baby on the way, but what could he do. He wished he could bring him into the Mob.
He figured all Tariq needed was someone to have his back and he would be loyal to the end. But at this point, Tae didn’t even know how 10th Mob was holding up. Nevertheless, he wanted to talk to Lance about Tariq and see if there was something he could do.

  After the game was over, the Rockets beat the Pacers in a tight game, 105 to 103, Tariq and Tae talked shit and joked around. Tae had to admit it was the first time since he’d been in there that he’d had that much fun, especially being able to watch basketball with another fan. It made the game more intense, not to mention he saw another side of Tariq that he didn’t know. Tae told Tariq he wouldn’t say a word to anyone about what they discussed and for him to hold his head up and not to do anything that would get him killed. Tariq slapped hands with Tae and told him he would be good. Yet, Tae knew Tariq was going to do exactly what he said.

  It was early in the morning when Tae heard the alarm going off while he was in his cell bunk. Dawkins was on lockdown. With haste, he jumped up and watched officers run past his door with guns in hands. Something told him Tariq had implemented his plans to go after Black. The only thing Tae didn’t know was if Tariq had killed Black or if it was the other way around. However, in the pit of his stomach, he could feel what might have happened. Later on that morning, when the inmates were released for rec time, he knew he would find out everything that happened from Cotton, especially since he won Cotton a lot of money from the game he watched.

  Finally, after lockdown was cleared and the inmates allowed to leave their cells, Tae exited his cell and observed a lot of chatter going on in the corners of the facility. Practically every man in Dawkins was talking about the incident. Since Tae didn’t have a connection with anyone other than Cotton, he didn’t stop to ask what had happened. He was looking for one person, Cotton, who he found still in his cell with the door open as he sat on his bunk.

  “What’s da deal Cotton ball?” Tae asked with a slight smile, waiting to see if he would tell him what was going on.

  “They got dat nigga, man.” Cotton hung his head slightly and continued what he was saying. “Not dat it’s my business or nothing, but dat lil nigga did a number on Black.” Tae looked at Cotton in shock.

  “Tariq whipped up on Black?” He questioned with a baffled expression on his face.

  “I guess dat young boy was tired of Black always trying to get his ass. Both of them fucked up, but it looked like Black got the worst of it. They both in the infirmary. It’s a damn shame because dat boy only had two more months before he hit the outside. Now he might be stuck in this bitch longer.” Cotton shook his head. Tae was shocked to hear that not had Tariq survived Black but it sounded like he got the best of him. He thought back to Tariq’s confession in the Big Room, realizing if he could learn to trust him, he just might have a spot in 10th Mob. He would have to talk to Lance about it. Maybe he could come up under his wing like he did with Smoove. Tae walked off to return to his cell and think for a while in his bunk; his move would have to be the right one or it could mean his life.

  Chapter 22

  Whenever Lisa was stressed out and needed to think, a nice hot shower always relaxed her mind, so she could put things in perspective. She turned on the hot water and let it run while she thought about what she was going to put on after she got out of the shower. Within a few seconds, she could see the steam drifting through the bathroom door. Knowing Razon wouldn’t be back for a while, she needed this. Therefore, it would be a good time to think about what she would do. In order to cool down her shower, she turned on the cold water, but not too much. Normally, she would pin her long hair up but not this time. She jumped in the shower putting her entire body, including her head, under the water.

  Immediately, she began to replay the argument she had with Razon in her mind. She acknowledged much of the argument was a result of her not being clear about her feelings. Additionally, she realized he was going through a lot, so she comprehended why he was upset. Possibly, it was time for her to lay all her cards on the table and let him know how she really felt. If he knew he had someone on his side, he might see the psychologist with no problems. She had to take a minute to put herself in his shoes and wonder how she would’ve handled everything he was experiencing. Honestly, she could stay longer, especially now that she was accustomed to having Razon in the bed with her. To go back to her cold, quiet house, and cold bed and covers was not something she was looking forward to. Having taken a thirty minute shower, she made her decision about what she would do.

  She walked around the room naked, looking for something else to wear now that she was going to stay. The only light in the room was from the huge, flat screen television on his wall, so she decided against fumbling through her bags. Instead, she would grab one of his white t-shirts that fit her like a dress, put it on then get in bed to wait for him. After drying her long, wet hair with a towel, she put it up in a messy bun, slid into Razon’s shirt, and jumped under the warm, plush covers. She laid her head on his pillow to find that it still smelled like him, so she took a deep whiff then fell asleep while waiting for him to come home.

  In the corners of the room, waiting and watching from the shadows of the darkness was something he excelled at. He was patient and waited for just the right moment to strike, as he watched every move Lisa made after getting out of the shower. Rajahn couldn’t deny how beautiful she was and could see why Razon was in love with her.

  He could also see that she loved Razon. Perhaps, she could love him too. Deep within him was this longing to be loved and wanted, all he desired was for someone to tell him how much they loved him. Rajahn got up and walked over to the bed, feeling all sorts of emotions that he’d never felt before rushing through him. He wanted a woman that would wait for him to come home, a woman to make love to, someone he could be himself around without judgment–something he never got while he was growing up. Seemingly, anyone that showed him love was only because they wanted something from him. There always had to be something in it for them to say they loved him. Rajahn didn’t want that, he wanted something real, something like Razon had. Why did Razon have everything and he had nothing? This time, he would make sure he had something to call his own.

  Rajahn walked over to the bed, watching Lisa sleeping on her side, in the middle of the bed, her arms wrapped around a pillow with her cell phone lying on the bed next to her. He knew she was imagining it was Razon she was holding on to. Soon, he would make her forget all about him. He gently rubbed his finger along her cheek. He didn’t want to wake her up; he just wanted to see how soft she was. He could feel his manhood throbbing beneath his jeans merely from gazing at the sleeping beauty. Since things didn’t work out with Theresa, he didn’t hesitate to slide his pants and shirt off and slip, quietly under the covers beside Lisa. Wanting to experience what Razon felt, Rajahn softly moved her hair out of his way and planted a kiss on the back of her neck. Lisa moved slightly, still sleeping deeply. He took that as a sign to do a little more, but not too much. Wrapping his strong arms around her small body, he pulled her close and was surprised when she began to rub his arm. In the back of his mind, he realized she thought he was Razon, but at this point, he didn’t care.

  Pulling her closer to him, he continued to kiss her softly as she moaned in pleasure. She tried to turn around, but he understood he couldn’t allow her to do that. Although Rajahn and Razon looked alike, he knew the long scar on the side of his face set them apart–a scar he’d had all his life. Carefully, he caressed her body, teasing her with his fingers. Since she appeared to enjoy the foreplay, he didn’t stop. At some point, he was aware she would realize he wasn’t Razon, so he indulged in his own fantasy. Gently turning her on her stomach, he slid Razon’s shirt off to reveal her naked body. Rajahn planted a trail of kisses along her spine, watching her body react to his touch. He could feel his own body heat up.

  It was the same feeling he experienced when excitement rushed through his body. Usually, he only had that type of reaction when he saw blood on his hands or felt someone�
��s life slip away from them. This was the first time he had gotten a full erection and didn’t want to take someone’s life. He wanted to know if everything about her felt this good. Without another thought, he took his right hand and guided his thickness into her juicy, love walls. Her body tensed at the feeling but relaxed when he kissed her neck. He slid in and out of her wetness, listening to her moan deeply with each movement. His own body moving to a rhythm as if there was a seductive love song playing in his head.

  Rajahn increased his stroke while he watched the movement of her body bouncing off his. He moaned in ecstasy as the feeling began to take over his entire body. “Oh my god, baby!” She yelled out, grabbing two of the pillows on the bed next to her. Their deep, passionate moans were almost simultaneous as they both exploded and collapsed on the bed. “Oh, wow!” Lisa whispered with labored breath. “That was amazing!” Feeling a little more confident about himself, he smiled. “Razon, you’ve never felt that good…wow…maybe we need to argue more often.” Lisa continued as Rajahn realized no matter what happened, she would still be in love with Razon. Hence, he didn’t move, he didn’t say a word, he didn’t know what to say.

  The light from the television flashed as she kissed his arm. Suddenly, she began to realize something was different. Rajahn smiled devilishly as he noticed her become aware of the tattoos on his arms. Razon didn’t have any tattoos. “Razon?” She questioned as she slowly turned around to look at his face. He looked like Razon, but there was something different, so she squinted to see him in the light of the television. Before he spoke, he emitted a low, sinister laugh. “No, Captain Lisa Coleman, I’m not Razon.” He continued to laugh. When he turned his face, she could see the long scar that Razon didn’t have. Who was this man that looked just like Razon?

  “Oh my god!” Lisa tried to move her body from beneath his, but there wasn’t enough room on the bed, so she couldn’t go far. Lisa felt sick to her stomach when she realized that the most beautiful and intense sexual experience she had ever had was not with the man she loved. Even worst, it was with the man that had been taunting Razon with murders. “You’re the one whose been killing all these people and leaving messages for Razon.” She looked terrified as he continued to laugh. “Does he know he has a brother; does he know he has a twin?”