Double Dealing: A Menage Romance

by Landish, Lauren

  Francois groaned and turned his head to look me in the eyes. "First a walk in the woods to work out these kinks. If you're going to invite Felix and I to sleep with you again, can we try the bed next time? I know it’s small, but this floor is not too comfortable."

  "You’re the one closest to the fire, Francois," Felix muttered sleepily from behind me.

  “I didn’t exactly invite you two to cuddle up with me, but it was a welcome surprise. Who's building up the fire?"

  "I am," Francois replied, "Felix did it yesterday, it's my turn. Would you like to prepare breakfast?"

  "Not unless you happen to have a week's supply of Pepto Bismol," I countered. "Sorry boys, but I can't cook worth a damn. Microwaves and sandwiches are the extent of my skills."

  "Then we’ll have to teach you," Felix said. "No proper Frenchman goes as long in life as we have without learning how to at least make a decent bechamel sauce."

  I laughed and snuggled back into Felix's arms, while at the same time pulling on Francois. "So I guess you boys had a talk."

  "We did, when my watch alarm woke me up to find you laid out on a blanket in front of me," Francois said. “We figured this was as good as locking you in the room, and would keep us all warmer in the process.”

  He snuggled back against me, and the three of us stayed there like that. Felix nuzzled his nose against my neck, and just as his lips found the sensitive spot behind my earlobe, my bladder decided it was time to strike and tell me it was time to get up. With a groan, I pushed away both men and rolled to my knees. "Sorry guys, but I’ve got to do my morning necessities.”

  Sadly, the cabin didn’t have indoor plumbing, which meant walking to a frozen old-fashioned wooden outhouse anytime I had to go. It wasn't until I'd patted myself dry, pulled my pants up, and was opening the door before I realized that I was outside, at least twenty or thirty feet from the cabin, by myself. I could make a run for it if I wanted, and there was nothing the boys could do to stop me.

  Part of my mind screamed that I should make a go of it. Hell, the worst that could happen was that they caught up with me, took me back, and made me stay in the locked room for the rest of the week. I hadn't seen evidence of a gun from either of them, and I didn't think they were the type to actually kill me.

  Still, my feet refused to turn, and instead I made my way back to the cabin with barely a hitch in my step. I opened the door to find Felix pulling his gloves on and tucking a curl of his hair into his cap. "Come on, you guys have got to be better on security than that," I jokingly admonished. They looked at each other, Felix literally face palming himself while Francois twirled his spatula in his right hand. "Come on Felix, let's go get some wood."

  As I led Felix toward where I thought we'd found the downed tree the day before, he started chuckling. "What?"

  Felix shook his head. “I’m wondering what Father would have thought of this. Probably would’ve called me foolish, then taken a look at you and understood. Why didn't you run?"

  "Maybe you two boys are the most interesting thing in my life in as long as I can remember," I replied. I pulled a pine needle from a nearby tree and twisted it around my finger, enjoying the scent of the trees around me. "And you have to admit, there’s a certain charm to your lifestyle."

  "There is, even I recognize that," Felix said. "Of all the things that I enjoy, I think the idea that I live by no laws other than those of my own choosing is the most appealing. I mean, I have duties, but those duties are also of my own choosing. I don't worry about the social conventions or laws of those outside of my family and my culture. There’s a lot of freedom in that."

  "You see? That really speaks to a girl like me. I mean, that's rock n' roll condensed into a single paragraph. Tell me, Felix, what would life be like if, say, and I'm just asking for pure imagination and to pass the time as we walk here . . .”

  Felix cut me off before I could continue. "You'd be treated like a princess. But that may not be what you'd expect."

  "How so?" I asked, the look in Felix's eyes filling me with warmth and curiosity. "No tiara?"

  He laughed again, shaking his head. "Not in the least. Also, no castle either. When your millions come from the proceeds of criminal activity, buying a chalet in the countryside isn’t exactly the way to keep a low profile. On the other hand, there are things I have done with my father's money that I think are greater than a mere estate."

  "So are you homeless?" I joked, "Or do you live in a gypsy wagon?"

  Felix started for a second, then chuckled. "You know, I have to learn to let go of some of my insecurities around you. I know that you aren’t intending to offend me with your comments."

  I grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry about that. I have a tendency to tell jokes that probably end up with my foot in my mouth more often than not. You should have met me back in high school — I pissed off three-quarters of my high school at some point or another."

  Felix waved it off. "It’s okay. I do have a house, more than one, it’s just that while none of them are run down shacks, they’re nothing special. On the other hand, I do have one wicked ripper of a Winnebago."

  I couldn't help it, maybe it was just his French and Romani accent, maybe it was the fact that Felix's joke was so obvious but still so serious at the same time, but I just burst out laughing. Within a few seconds, I was leaning over on the nearest tree, giggling my guts out while he stood next to me with a bemused expression on his face. Finally, when black spots were dancing in front of my face and my knees felt like jelly, I was able to calm down by taking large, whooping gasps of air. Looking at Felix, who watched the whole thing with his arms crossed and a slight smile, I staggered the two steps over and leaned against him. "I think this is the point where the suave Frenchman sweeps the girl into his arms and goes for the score.”

  Felix uncrossed his arms and took off his gloves, running the tips of his fingers on his right hand through my hair. "My people have beliefs that others find strange," he said in a low voice, his eyes dark and mysterious. "There are many who still believe in things like magic, curses, and things like that. Until I met you, I thought they were as looney as most everyone else does. They were just the ramblings of old people who didn't know how to live in the modern world. But you, you’ve cast a spell on me."

  He lowered his lips to mine and we kissed, first with soft tenderness and then increasing hunger. He was the same height as Francois, but larger, broader across the chest and back while still feeling fit and lean. I wanted to see him, his body, and feel it pressed against me, but before I could even reach for his zipper, a growl behind us sent ice water through my veins.

  The mountain lion was big, its lips peeled back and long, yellowed fangs bared. I felt Felix hold me tighter before sliding my body behind him, his hand reaching slowly for the saw hanging from his belt. "Back away slowly," he said, keeping his eyes on the large cat. “I think we've wandered into its hunting territory. I hope if we look like no threat, it’ll let us leave unmolested."

  I tried to follow Felix's commands, my legs stiff and barely lifting high enough to scrape along the snow and leaves. When I stepped on a branch, it snapped, the sound making me scream in fear.

  It was enough for the cat to charge, leaping from its crouch towards us. Felix was a sudden blur of motion, his left hand shoving me back while his right hand flashed upwards, swinging his hand saw in a sweeping arc. He pivoted with the swing like a dancer, simultaneously moving out of the way while re-diverting the cat's leap so that it flipped over his back and landed on the ground with a heavy thud.

  The mountain lion twisted as soon as it hit the ground, its head whipping around to snap at the saw. It bit down on the teeth of the saw, quickly realizing the metal was sharp and painful before running off into the woods.

  The whole thing took less than ten seconds, from the first growl to final run. I leaned against the tree Felix had pushed me against, my chest still aching from my scream, staring as Felix calmly watched the mountain lion's retreat path b
efore looking at his saw. "Damn. Bent the blade."

  He showed me the saw, which was bent at a crazy angle from hitting the body of the big cat and then being bitten. Coming over, he took my hands and pulled me close.

  I embraced him hard, happy to be alive, my fear renewed a minute later when something came crashing through the woods, only to find relief when Francois came charging up the slope, wielding of all things a butcher knife in his hands. "What’s wrong?"

  "Relax brother," Felix said, letting go of me. He pointed in the direction that the cat had run off, his eyes still unconcerned. "There was a mountain lion, but I scared it away. No need to freeze yourself."

  I noticed that Francois was wearing just pants, and I had my first look at his upper body. He was just as lean as I'd thought the day before, his skin slightly copper tinged while his muscles were like an anatomy chart. He looked at the two of us, then shook his head in exasperation at the ridiculousness of the scene. "Fine. But please, no more screaming while I'm taking a sponge bath. It’s cold out here. So everything’s okay?”

  "I'm fine," I said. "Go, get warm and finish washing. Felix and I will gather wood and come back soon."

  His smiling flash of teeth reassured me, and he deftly reversed the grip on his knife to carry it safely before turning and loping down the slope in long, bounding strides. I was going to call after him to be careful, but I could tell he was the type to not listen, nor need the warning.

  "He never comes running like that when I call for help," Felix noted with a soft chuckle, then turned back to me. "Come, I think we might need to find another place to look. Maybe somewhere with a slightly less dangerous strain of nearby wildlife."

  "Chipmunks would be nice, maybe a blue jay or two," I said, taking his offered hand and walking with him. "But nothing bigger than a raccoon."

  Chapter 11

  Francois

  Except for the ruggedness of our hideout, the rest of the week for me was heavenly. Starting that night, and for the rest of our time at the cabin, we slept three to the bed, Felix and I holding Jordan between us. The bed was cramped, but it was far better than being on the wooden floor. We left the door to the room open and unlocked, so it was warmer than it had been that first time, although we did use more wood on a daily basis.

  Despite the frustrations, our agent on the outside called us five days after we'd stolen the swords. Felix and Jordan were outside filling our water cans from the hand pump. "Yes?"

  "We have a new way to get you out of the country," our deeply-voiced business partner said, his voice crackly over the satellite linkup. While normally using a sat phone gives you nearly crystal clear quality, the weather in the mountains was still poor, and trying to get a signal through the trees was sometimes an iffy proposition. "But it will involve some action on your part."

  "What do you mean?" I asked warily. Felix was right, never trust a Spaniard. We have both known too many Spaniards. "We had an agreement."

  "That was when you had enough in potential sales to pay for an escorted extraction from the heart of Southern California," our agent replied. "But the people involved weren’t willing to do that for the price I could offer them."

  "What's the deal then?" I asked, growling in frustration. "Am I supposed to drive us to Mexico by myself now?"

  "No, no, that wouldn't be useful at all," our agent said. The man could not even tell when I was being sarcastic. You can’t do business with a half-French half-Rom if you can’t detect sarcasm, plain and simple. "But you will need to leave the cabin. There is a small ranch airstrip, in between Victorville and Barstow that your new escorts are flying into. There will be a small plane waiting at the airport just after sunset. It will wait for exactly thirty minutes, then take off. If you are not on it . . .”

  "I got it, we'll be getting our asses out of California," I said. "What is the address?"

  He read me the directions, as well as a set of latitude and longitude, just in case. I copied it all down onto a piece of paper, then tapped the point of my pencil on the pad. "We’ll be expecting our money as soon as we are out of the country," I said, changing subjects. "Will that be a problem?"

  "Not at all," he said. "We will have your portion of the money when you get off the plane. Of course, there will be a significantly lower amount since you did not get out with all the previously agreed upon items.”

  "Of course. We will meet your pilot tomorrow."

  I hung up the phone and went outside to find Felix and Jordan screwing the caps on the last of the water cans. "We have a meet-up," I said. "But it’s not what you wanted."

  "Oh, how so?" Felix asked. He lifted the heavy cans, one in each hand while Jordan stuffed her hands back into her pockets. "Inside, if it can wait five seconds."

  Inside the cabin, I told Felix about our agent's instructions, his face clouding as the details emerged. He muttered under his breath before sighing. "It’s unavoidable. All right, let's pack up, and make sure that everything is ready to go tomorrow."

  I looked at Jordan, who was shifting from side to side. "Jordan, I’m sorry. I know we said that we'd give you the ride when we left, but with this change, that can’t happen. What about if we give you the satellite phone instead? With that and the address, you can easily call the police for help as soon as we are gone."

  Jordan shook her head, her eyes blurring with tears. Felix came over and cupped her chin, looking her in the eye. "What is it? We promised you your freedom, and you’ll have it."

  She shook her head again, the first tear trickling down her cheek. “It’s not that. I just don't want this to end."

  "What?" I asked, joining her and Felix by the small table. Felix's hand dropped and he ran one through his hair, his eyes clouding over with emotion as he understood what Jordan was asking.

  "This time with you both," she said softly, looking from Felix to me and back. "I don't want this to end. The time with you both, the feeling I've had. I don't want that to end."

  "Come now," I said, brushing one of her tears away. While I felt similar, I always knew this time was approaching. The fantasy would have to end. "You'll be able to have a real bed, a real shower, and warm toilets. That can't be so bad."

  Jordan shook her head in negation again. "I'd rather have camp food, a crowded bed, and a frozen ass from the toilet seat."

  "Come — enough of that," I said, looking up at Felix, whose face was pinched with thought. He obviously had not set up the same internal defenses I had, and her tears were getting through to him. "The life of a thief is hardly one for a beauty such as you, Jordan Banks."

  "You could be helpful, though," Felix said, looking at her, ignoring my thoughts. "After all, we would be much more secure if you came with us, at least to the airport. We could still use a hostage if it is necessary."

  "What are you saying, you fool?" I spat to Felix. "Jordan hasn't been our hostage."

  "Yes I have," Jordan said, her tears disappearing and her face brightening as she thought about Felix's words, and caught the meaning that I hadn't. "And I think Felix is right. You need me still, and if anything, as a guide. I know the Southern California area better than you boys do. You need me still."

  I looked in her eyes, and I knew she was just going along with Felix's lie in order to stay with us longer. Looking at my brother, I also saw in his eyes that he was intentionally lying to himself as well. "We’ll see. Jordan, would you please excuse my brother and me? We need to talk outside."

  Felix was about to object, but I took him by the arm. "Please, brother. It’s important."

  Felix looked down at my arm, then at me, and nodded. "Fine. Jordan, please excuse us.”

  Outside in the chill, I waited until we were far enough from the cabin so that our words would not easily be overheard before turning on my brother. "What the hell was that, Felix?"

  "What do you mean, Nicolae?" Felix replied, using my Roma name. I growled and shook my head.

  "Dammit Felix, you know I hate when you call me that. I am Francois, not
Nicolae. You only use that when you want to start ordering me around."

  "I only use it when you are acting like an asshole," Felix countered. "That I have to use it so often is frustrating to me too. What is the problem?"

  "You are the problem, Gudada," I hissed, using his Roma name in return. "In case you didn't notice, you just promised our hostage that we would take her with us when there is no reason to. Your explanation and her reason are shit, and you know it."

  "I made a decision based off of the situation we are in," Felix replied evenly. "I see no reason why my reasoning is flawed."

  "Perhaps because you’re taken by this girl and are too damn blinded by it to recognize that," I returned. "She sheds a few tears, blinks her eyes at you, and you crumple like a piece of tissue paper."

  "As opposed to Francois, the ladies man?" Felix replied. "Despite what you tell her, I know the truth, Francois. You've left broken hearts all over the globe in our travels. Or should I start with their names?"

  "Enough, Felix," I spat, turning my back. "You're letting your heart get in the way of your brain."

  "And you’re lying to yourself as well," Felix returned. "You would not have charged through the woods half naked and waving a butcher knife to just come after me."

  I turned back, my hand raised to knock the hell out of Felix, but the look in his eye stopped me. My brother had twenty pounds of muscle on me, and we were both equally trained. There was no way I'd get a blow in. His hands were ready at his side, and his eyes were glinting in that way that I'd come to recognize. His mind was made up. "She is a good woman, Felix. Better than the likes of us."

  I turned and went over to the Jeep, opening the door before slamming the door behind me, effectively ending the conversation. Felix looked at me through the window for a minute before going back into the cabin. Through the window I could see him and Jordan talking, then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him before practically skipping into the back room.