Wired

by Caytlyn Brooke

  “Hello? Maggie, hello?”

  I spin around to face her. “Hmm, what?”

  “I said what did Jeremy do?” she repeats, her eyebrows furrowing.

  “Oh, yeah, that.” I sigh, pulling my long hair up into a high ponytail. “He caught me not listening during a meeting a while ago and kind of threw me to the sharks. Or I guess, I threw myself because my boss asked me a question I didn’t know the answer to.” I open up the Wall Art app and begin wandering around, wondering if there is anything new to see.

  Out of my peripheral vision I see Sarah nod as she slides off the bed. “Well I’ll go order the pizza,” she mumbles.

  “No need! Already done.” Man, why have I never heard this song before?

  Sarah’s slender eyebrows arch in surprise. “Really? How?”

  I point to my neck at the copper device—my baby—attached snugly between my neck and shoulder blades. “I ordered it through the app. It’ll be here in…” I pause, switching my attention back to the Nucci’s app. I activate the live stream and a video of the restaurant appears in my right eye. I see a young kid, probably sixteen or seventeen sliding a large pizza into the brick oven using a wooden spatula. In the bottom right-hand corner my order number is displayed along with an estimated time of delivery. “It just went into the oven and we’ll have it in nineteen minutes,” I announce.

  “Oh, okay then, never mind. I’ll go pick out a show,” Sarah says without enthusiasm.

  I go to my dresser and begin searching for a matching pair of socks when Sarah speaks again, startling me.

  “Hey, can I ask you a question, Mags?”

  “Yeah, what’s up?” I ask, half-turning with a pair of socks in hand. I pick up my left foot and balance precariously as I try to slip the thick white and gray sock over my toes. The Vertix shifts away from the pizza parlor while my thoughts turn to My World. I wonder if Amanda had her baby yet, she should be due any day now. I pull up the latest picture of her swollen belly.

  “Maggie, did you hear what I just said?”

  “Oh, sorry, what?” I ask, swinging my head to the right.

  “What’s going on with you today?” Sarah asks. I don’t miss the annoyed tone.

  I shake my head, slipping the other sock on. “What do you mean? I feel fine, great actually.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. You just seem so…distant—detached. You’re hardly involved in the conversation we’ve been trying to have for the last five minutes,” Sarah accuses. She’s quiet for a second and then points her manicured finger at me. “Did you take my Vertix the other night?”

  I cock my head, trying to remember. “Yeah, I just wanted to check some things. You know, since mine was broken and all. And guess what? I even met a guy.” I turn my back to her once more as I tidy up the discarded shirts and dirty socks littering the floor. I used to be really good about keeping my room clean.

  “Yeah, you told me already…Jeremy.” Sarah sighs, her frustration obvious. She glances down the hall as though wondering if she should leave.

  “Nope,” I say with a grin. “His name is Marco. He’s gorgeous.”

  “Marco? Where did you meet him? You didn’t go anywhere this week,” Sarah says, unconvinced.

  I point to the back of my neck. “I met him through an app. He’s really…energetic,” I explain, realizing for the first time that I don’t know anything about him except that he’s an amazing kisser and works out every day. The latter is an assumption; those abs don’t chisel themselves. “I’m hoping to hang out with him again tonight after dinner.”

  Sarah raises her eyebrows. “What’s the app called?”

  I try to keep my cheeks from reddening and keep my eyes trained on the floor. “Oh, good question. I don’t remember. I kind of just stumbled across it.” I laugh, waving my hand in a dismissive gesture. Please don’t go through your history. That’s all I need, a lecture on how to have safe virtual sex.

  “Don’t you think that’s a little weird? I mean, this guy isn’t real,” Sarah says, wrinkling her nose.

  “Of course he’s real, Sar. He’s just not physically in the same room with me when we hang out, but let me tell you, it certainly feels like he is.” I snort.

  “What do you—no, you know what, I don’t want to know,” Sarah says, holding up her hands to block the mental image. “So how’d you get yours working again?” She gestures to the copper device.

  I sigh and roll my eyes. “I went to Yeti earlier this week and asked the rep to fix it. Apparently being underwater for a second shorted every possible circuit and it was irreparable. So I just bought a new one.”

  Sarah’s jaw drops. “You bought a new one? Damn, I hope they gave you a decent trade-in value for the busted one.”

  “Yeah right, tried that. George, the guy I worked with laughed at me when I mentioned it. I was able to trade in my iJewel though so I didn’t have to pay the full price,” I explain. I shake my bare wrist for effect.

  “Oh wow, I’m surprised. I thought you liked your iJewel.”

  I shrug. “Yeah, but why would I keep it? I can do everything and more with the Vertix.” I toss several questionable shirts into the hamper and hang up one that I know is clean enough. A soft ping pulls my attention away from Sarah as I readjust my vision to focus on the back-end camera at Nucci’s. The same kid from before is closing the lid on our pizza. “Oh sweet, the pizza is out of the oven! Only a few more minutes.”

  “You know what, forget it.” Sarah sighs. “I’m just going to go watch TV. Did you already pay for it?”

  I shake my head, following her into the hallway. “Not yet, but I can. You want to just transfer me your half?”

  “That’s fine,” Sarah says. I frown as her voice edges toward sarcasm. What’s wrong with her?

  We walk into the living room, flopping onto either end of the couch. “What are you in the mood for?” I ask, scrolling through My World again. “Aww, Jasmine got a boxer puppy! He’s adorable.”

  Sarah ignores me. She grabs the remote and slides her finger along the black screen to awaken both the controller and the TV. She scrolls through Rennit and selects the latest episode of Work It Like You Mean It.

  Sarah and I have been avid fans since the modeling competition started. I love watching the girls try to walk the dizzying runways or strike the perfect pose while sitting atop an elephant. My favorite was kicked off in the last episode, as her high-fashion pose looked more constipated to some. Sarah’s favorite is still in the running, though.

  The dramatic theme song ends and the scene opens with the five remaining hopeful models standing before a pink-and-white-striped circus tent. “Good morning ladies,” the host welcomes. She’s beautiful, clad in a sparkling silver leotard which hugs her slim figure sensually. “Today is all about flexibility,” she announces. “Are you ready to fly high?”

  A loud percussion of sounds pound on the front door and I jump. I abandon My World and pause Serenade. It was getting hard to concentrate on all three anyway. “Pizza’s here,” I say happily, hopping off the sunken couch. Humming the show’s theme song aloud, I pad into the kitchen, sliding along the wood floor in my socks. My hand wraps around the cool metal doorknob and I pull it open. A cold breeze slithers into the kitchen, raising goose bumps on my exposed arms.

  An older man is standing at my door, a pizza box in his hands. “Maggie?” he asks.

  “That’s me. Thanks,” I say, reaching for the box. “Have a good night.”

  The man doesn’t respond, already down the first few steps. I spin in my socks and place the pizza on the table, inhaling deeply. There’s no better smell than pizza in a box. Continuing to hum the peppy melody, I withdraw two plates from the cupboard and stack them on the cover, complete with two paper towel sheets. I slip my palms underneath the cardboard, smiling as the pleasant warmth spreads up to my forearms. Carrying the pizza box to the living room reminds me of when I was little and Andy and I would fight about who would hold it on their lap for the ride home
. That was so long ago. Back before everything was delivered by UPick.

  “Pizza!”

  For the first time since I got home, I see a smile break on Sarah’s lips, lighting up her whole face. I exhale in relief, realizing how much her tense scowl bothered me.

  “Oh it smells delicious. Good idea.” She takes the box and sets it on the low coffee table.

  “Sure! Oh, that reminds me. I should pay for this,” I chuckle. I settle onto the lumpy cushions once again and pull up Enyo. Linking up to my recent browsing history, Nucci’s information auto-fills in. I authorize the payment and the funds debit from my account. I stare at the remaining balance. The amount is less than I typically have in there and my gut reaction is to panic. Calm down, you knew the Vertix was going to be expensive. You have plenty of money.

  “You okay?” Sarah asks, the cheesy slice halfway to her lips.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. What did I miss?” I ask, nodding toward the TV as I reach for a slice of my own. I activate My World for my right eye.

  It takes Sarah a minute to answer while she chews her large bite. She presses a crumpled napkin to her lips and swallows. “This week the girls will be posing as they complete acrobatic stunts. The camera will follow them as they soar through the air,” she explains, her eyes wide in disbelief. “Can you imagine? I’d be terrified.”

  “Oh my goodness, remember Amy from that horrible dive bar we worked at in college? She just got married last weekend! Aww, though I wouldn’t have worn that huge dress. I bet she could barely move with it on,” I cluck my tongue then bite into the savory cheese and thick tomato sauce. I turn my head to Sarah, taking another bite. “So what did I miss?”

  “Mags, I just told you. Take that stupid thing out so I can have a normal conversation without you twittering off every seven seconds about some post,” Sarah growls, fixing me with a pointed stare.

  “Oh, did you really?” I say. “Sorry. I guess I’m not as good as I thought at balancing both screens. Not that you’re a screen, but you know what I mean.” I shove another hunk of gooey cheese between my teeth.

  “I just think you’re using the Vertix too much. You can’t stay connected all day long. It’s not good for you,” Sarah says, sounding maternal.

  “Seriously, Sar, it’s not that big a deal,” I say around the crust, hoping she’ll drop it.

  “If it’s not a big deal then take it off,” Sarah challenges, her expression smug.

  I roll my eyes, set the ceramic plate on the cushion beside my thigh and reach for my neck. My fingers graze the warm little machine clinging to me, like a baby monkey holding onto its mother. I touch the sleek device and shudder. It’s not that I won’t be able to function without it, I just don’t want to. Having the Vertix makes everything so convenient, so easy, but I can’t ignore the angry look in my friend’s eyes.

  Sliding my finger along the back of the device, the screen in my right eye blurs and then fades away. The living room expands, filling my vision. I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose, adjusting to the new scene. With my other hand, I withdraw the warm Vertix away from my skin as the sensors shrink back into the copper body.

  Without warning my heart rate increases and my anxiety level skyrockets, the absence of dopamine flooding my brain is extreme. I roll my neck to the left and sigh, placing the Vertix on the coffee table. My fingers slowly slip off the smooth machine and I bite my lower lip in concentration. After a second I reach over and lift another piece of pizza out of the box and slide it onto my plate.

  “See, no problem,” I say with a forced smile, batting my lashes at Sarah.

  Sarah remains silent, but her body language suggests she’s placated for now. I cram the slice of pizza into my mouth and reach for another. I try to eat this one with more civility, but the chewing helps to quell the strange flood of emotions raining down around me. Anger, relief, nervousness. I don’t know what’s happening to me.

  My eyes focus on the screen as the first model climbs the high ladder to reach her mark, but I don’t really see it. My mind is asking questions and the answers aren’t coming. I exhale and take another bite. It feels good to be doing something with my hands, even if they are just shoving more and more food down my throat.

  The model on TV gets closer to the edge of the miniscule platform, her toes curling over the edge, a last ditch effort to hold on before her body hurtles through the thin air. I chew my crust, waiting for her to leap, panic in my chest.

  The coach down below shouts into the megaphone, “Time to go Lindsay, jump!”

  The model nods, extends her hands out to her sides in a grand flourish, and springs off the small board like an Olympic diver, throwing her graceful body into the empty sky. My mind jumps back to the beautiful ocean below me in Acceleration. The smell of the crashing waves, the way the sun glistened off the turquoise water.

  The incident with the shark seems long ago, a natural response my body created to alert me to my near-drowning experience. I close my eyes and inhale, frowning as the crisp, salty scent evades me in our living room. All I want to do is go back there, stand on the edge of those rocky cliffs with my arms spread wide just like the model. I want to leap into the air, feel gravity’s delight as my body plunges toward the calm waters below. I want to live.

  Sarah whistles long and low as the model falls, twisting her body with elegance, as if hitting the foam pit below was the farthest thing from her mind. Her features are poised as the ground rears up and she disappears beneath a sea of soft blue blocks. “Wow, can you imagine doing that?” Sarah gasps. “No way would I ever.”

  I shrug, knowing full well what it feels like to have the wind cradle you, carrying you to the ground. “I think it’s fun.”

  “Seriously? When have you done something like that?” Sarah asks, the resident skeptic of the night.

  “Just the other day,” I mutter, pulling my legs up and wrapping my arms around my knees. My gaze slides to the right, eyeing the little copper machine, like a mother yearning to hold her newborn.

  Sarah follows my gaze and scoffs. “Whatever, it doesn’t count if it’s not real, Mags,” she says, looking back to watch the next model. This one looks shaky, and clings to the slim railing while she peers over the edge.

  My eyes wander to my knees and I pick at the tiny fibers on my sweatpants. Maybe if I stop looking at it, I’ll forget the Vertix is there. “I don’t know, it felt pretty real to me,” I whisper. I don’t say it loud enough for Sarah to hear. I know she won’t understand. I know the world I step into inside the Vertix isn’t real, but it’s close and that’s good enough for me.

  • • • • •

  Sarah’s model, Layne, survives another week, but the nervous diver is cut. I guess it’s better to hide your emotions away and be a blank face than wear your emotions on your sleeve.

  A sigh sounds to my right as Sarah uncurls from the soft cushions, extending her limbs like a lazy cat waking from its nap. She picks up the button-less remote and slides her thumb across it, shutting off the colorful screen. “Well, I think I’m going to call Andy. See if he’s done yet. How many chin-ups can he possibly make his client do?” she jokes, rising to her feet. She piles the dirty plates onto the half-empty pizza box and takes a step toward the hallway. “And thanks, Maggie,” she adds, her bright eyes intent. “This was really nice. I miss hanging out with you, and just you.”

  I frown. “Well, I’m always here,” I tease. “You just need to tell Andy to take a hike every now and then.” I release my hair from its ponytail and run my fingers through it. It does feel nice to not have a weight clinging to my neck anymore.

  Sarah looks sheepish. “I know. I’m sorry about that. I really hope you don’t feel like the third wheel. Please know we don’t think of you that way,” she says, her expression sincere.

  I wave my hand in front of my face. “Sar, you’re fine. I’m so happy for you guys. My best friend and my brother, a perfect pair.”

  “Thanks, Mags. But I really m
ean it, this was great, spending time with you, void of any…distractions.”

  I don’t miss the way her eyes slide to my Vertix and then flicker quickly back to my face.

  I bite the inside of my cheek as a bright spot of guilt tugs at my heart. Watching TV with my best friend was great, but I can’t stop my mind from picturing what I was missing the whole time. I nod once and smile again, but it feels forced. Sarah’s grin widens and she heads for the kitchen.

  The moment she’s out of sight, I snatch the copper Vertix from the coffee table, sighing in relief. The anxiety that has been my constant companion for the last two hours quiets, shrinking, but not altogether erasing. Now that I’ve participated in girl time, I think it’s late enough to retire to my room without Sarah giving me a ton of flack. Andy will probably be here any minute anyway and she’ll forget all about me. Plus, I have a date.

  I hop up and slide across the thick area rug to the wood floor, reaching my room in under a minute. I’m about to shut the door when Sarah appears in her doorway, looking forlorn. My mind begs to close the door, aching to connect, but I can’t enjoy the rush if I know my best friend is upset.

  “Hey,” I call. “Are you okay?”

  Sarah looks up from her iJewel. I see Andy’s name flash across the black screen. “Oh yeah, Andy just left me a message saying he’s not coming over tonight. Normally I wouldn’t mind. It’ll be nice to catch up on some reading it’s just…he looked weird and his voice sounded…odd. I don’t know, maybe I’m just reading too much into it, but I got a strange vibe, like he’s hiding something.”

  My heart drops. “What do you mean? Do you think he’s cheating on you?”

  Sarah shrugs, turning away from me. “I don’t know. I don’t think so…I mean, he seems happy. I thought we were happy, but maybe he met a gorgeous blonde at the gym and she’s interested in more than toning her flabby legs,” Sarah says in a rush, the words pouring from her mouth like a waterfall.

  “So she’s beautiful but has flabby legs?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.