Sway

by Melanie Stanford

  Why keep it to myself? Aunt Rose would disapprove but I wanted to get this conversation out of the way. I needed to show her that her disapproval didn’t matter to me anymore.

  “Lucky because…I still have feelings for Eric. That’s why I broke up with Gage.” I held my breath, waiting for her reaction, her scolding, her disapproval.

  She let out a loud sigh. Here it comes, I thought.

  “I’m sorry about that too.”

  No reprimand? No telling me who I should or shouldn’t date?

  “I thought it was best at the time.” She looked into my face, her eyes pleaded with mine to forgive, or at least understand. “I was wrong to push you. I wanted so much for you, Ava. I still do.”

  I bit my lip. Anger simmered beneath the surface but I kept it bottled in, kept my voice even. “So, now that Eric’s successful, it’s okay for me to like him?”

  Pain flashed across her face before she made it botox-smooth again. “You know your own mind. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions.”

  It only took her eight years to realize it.

  “It’s obvious now that despite my age and wisdom, you are a much better judge of character than I ever was. Your mom would be proud of you.”

  I looked down at the book in my lap. For once, I believed those words. “Thank you.”

  She wrapped me in a hug. The feel of her arms around me, the familiar smell of her perfume, caused a lump to form in my throat. The tension that had stretched between us for the last eight years snapped. Maybe now we could start over.

  Aunt Rose stood. “I can tell you one thing that brings a smile to my face.”

  “What’s that?”

  She stopped at the door and looked back. “I’ll never have to see Shelby Clay again.”

  I wasn’t sad about that either.

  * * * * *

  When I entered the kitchen for lunch, Beth sat slumped over the kitchen table, a mug clutched in her hands.

  I went to the fridge and pulled out a pre-made chef’s salad. “Hungover?”

  “Ugh,” was all Beth got out.

  “You see, it pays not to drink.” I sat at the table across from her with a fork and dug in. When she looked up at me in disgust, I grinned.

  “Spare me, Miss High-and-Mighty,” she said, but her words lacked venom.

  “Is Shelby gone?”

  “I made sure of it.” Beth inhaled the steam wafting off her cup, and then took a sip.

  “Do you think she and Gage…”

  She sneered. “They deserve each other.” She hesitated, glancing at me. “But I don’t know. Who cares?”

  I stared at her as I chewed. She looked awful. Purple bags under her eyes, wrinkles creased across her forehead, and smeared mascara she obviously hadn’t washed off last night.

  “Did you like him?” I asked.

  Her lips became a thin line. “Of course not. It’s not me I’m worried about.”

  I grimaced around a bite of salad. “You mean Dad? You think he’s upset over Shelby?”

  “I really hope not.”

  I hadn’t even thought of how Dad might be feeling after last night’s revelations. Of course Beth had. She was often selfish, but not when it came to our father.

  We found Dad on the balcony outside his bedroom, lounging on a cushy beach chair and doing absolutely nothing. Just staring at the ocean.

  “Hi, girls,” he said, but the words sounded distant, like he was in the middle of a dream and didn’t really know we were there.

  Beth and I exchanged glances. She took the lounger next to him and I stood off to the side, leaning against the balcony. I waited, letting her take charge.

  “Dad,” she started. “How are you feeling today?”

  Her words made him sound like an invalid, but he smiled at her. “Oh, I’m fine. Excellent party last night, Sweet Pea.”

  She tried to smile. “Thanks.”

  “People will be talking about that one for years,” he said. “You almost outdid your mother. But not quite.” He turned his face back to the ocean. “It’s too bad about Shelby, though. I suppose she’s gone?”

  I looked at Beth to see my worry mirrored back at me.

  “Yeah, she’s gone.” Beth scooted her chair closer to his and grabbed Dad’s hand.

  He sighed. “I should have known.”

  “I’m so sorry, Dad. I should never have brought her here.” She stroked his hand. “I thought she was my friend. I never thought she’d do that to you. To us.”

  His eyebrows lowered. “What do you mean?”

  Beth bit her lip. She looked to me for help.

  I knelt down on the other side of his chair. “We’re sorry she hurt you. We don’t want to see you unhappy.”

  “She didn’t hurt me.”

  Beth blinked. “But I thought… Didn’t you…like her?”

  “Of course I liked her. She seemed like a nice girl.” His eyes flicked between us again. “Wait. Did you two think that I—that I loved her?”

  We were silent.

  Dad burst out laughing. Actual tears welled in his eyes while Beth and I stared at each other, flabbergasted. “Unbelievable. You girls.” He shook his head in disbelief.

  “You mean, you don’t have feelings for her?” I asked.

  He dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief, careful not to pull the skin. “No. Definitely not.”

  “But you just said…” I looked to Beth for help. What had he just said?

  “I said it’s too bad.” He cupped Beth’s chin with his hand. “It’s too bad she was an awful friend to my daughter. I don’t care about her. It’s you I’m worried about.”

  Beth visibly relaxed, but I wasn’t satisfied.

  “Then why did you say that you should have known?”

  He dropped his hand from Beth’s face, his expression turning sour. “I was talking about Leonard Johnson.”

  My dad must have known his real name. I was surprised he never mentioned it. “Why?”

  “Like father, like son, as they say.”

  “What do you mean?” Beth asked.

  “Leonard’s father, George, and I were very good friends. We were on the same show together.”

  I bit my lip to keep my impatience from showing.

  Dad looked out toward the ocean again, his eyes taking on a faraway look, like he’d entered dreamland again. “He tried to take your mother from me.”

  “What?” Beth and I shouted at the same time.

  “He always flirted with her but I didn’t think much of it—he flirted with everyone in a skirt.” His mouth tightened. “But then he went after your mother. He pursued her. At a party he tried to seduce her.”

  “Ew.” Like father, like son, indeed.

  “Your mother wouldn’t have it of course.” Dad’s chin lifted. “She loved me. We had three beautiful daughters together. Nothing could tear us apart. But George wouldn’t quit. He wouldn’t leave her alone. So I had him fired from the show.”

  “Why’d you let Gage come around?” I asked.

  His eyes went sad. “I couldn’t blame Gage for something his father did. Besides, he told me it was George’s deathbed wish for Leonard to make amends with the Elliot family.” He shook his head. “I believed him.”

  My knees throbbed from kneeling so long. I stood and went to the railing. Had Gage told Dad the truth? Or was it just a ruse, a way to get into our family, to use Dad’s connections to get him ahead in his acting career?

  But then, why date me? Maybe Gage’s apology had been the truth. Maybe he really had tried to make amends, to do what he thought his father wanted. Maybe he had been trying to be the better man with me.

  Well, if that was the case, he’d failed miserably.

  I turned back to my dad. “I’m glad you’re not upset about Sh
elby, anyway.”

  “I could never love her. Or any woman for that matter,” he said. “Shelby was nice, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy her attention and compliments just a little bit.” He twisted his wedding band around his finger. “But I’ve only ever loved your mother. There will never be another woman for me. No one can compare. I will love her for the rest of my life.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. My father and I were more alike than I ever would have thought.

  I went to Dad, planting a kiss on his cheek. “You’re something else, Dad.”

  It was a lame compliment, but by my dad’s expression, I could tell it meant something to him. “Thank you, Ava.” He patted my cheek. “I’m so glad you weren’t hurt by Gage. I would hate to see you sad.”

  I smiled at him. “Thanks.” He turned to Beth and I took the opportunity to slip out, leaving them alone.

  As I walked through the house, my good mood evaporated. Dad said he didn’t want to see me sad, but he hadn’t cared about my happiness eight years ago. If Eric came back into my life—I thrilled at the very thought—what would Dad say then?

  Chapter Forty-Three

  It was time to tell Eric the truth. Time to ask him for a second chance. No more excuses. No more fear. If I wanted him back, I’d have to fight for him. I picked up my phone and dialed his number with shaking fingers.

  “Hello?” His smooth baritone filled me with both fear and courage.

  “Uh, hey,” My heart was in my throat, making the easiest words difficult.

  “Ava?” His voice seemed to lift a little. At least I hoped it had. “I’ve been meaning to call you.”

  “About what?”

  “I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “How are you? I wondered, you know, after the party the other night.”

  “Oh. I’m fine.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my feet. The teal on my toenails had already begun to chip. “It was embarrassing, obviously. I mean, with all those people watching.”

  “Hmmm,” he said—an agreement. “I thought maybe…”

  “Maybe what?”

  He cleared his throat again. “Well, you were together, weren’t you? Learning the truth about him—”

  “No!” I flushed at my outburst, forced my voice to relax. “I ended things with him a while ago. He just couldn’t take the hint.”

  Nothing but silence on the other line.

  “Really, it just made things easier. I felt bad before for breaking up with him. Finding out about Lexi and Shelby… I don’t care now. I don’t have to care.”

  “He’s an idiot,” Eric said.

  My toes tapped on the wooden floorboards. “We’ve all been idiots at one time or another.”

  “Yeah.”

  More silence.

  “So why did you want to call me?” I asked, anxious to change the subject.

  “I have a favor to ask.” He paused. I began to pace the floor of my bedroom. “I wrote a new song and I was wondering if I could play it for you. See what you think.”

  That was not what I was expecting at all. “Of course.”

  “I want to make sure it’s not crap before I go into the studio with it.”

  I snorted. “Since when has anything you’ve written been crap?”

  “Clearly you don’t remember my first original song?”

  I hesitated, thinking back.

  “I even sang it for you.”

  I snapped my fingers. “That one about the fedora!”

  He groaned. “You do remember.”

  “How could I forget? I don’t think you took that hat off our entire sophomore year.”

  “What can I say? I was going through a gangsta phase.”

  I snickered. “Gangsta? I think you mean gangster.” I pictured Eric in a pinstriped suit with wide lapels, wearing a black fedora and aiming a Tommy gun at his enemies. “More like mobster in the twenties.”

  His laughter echoed through the phone, filling my whole body with warmth. “Actually, more like Marlon Brando in Guys and Dolls. Gambling gangster instead of the killer kind.”

  “He was pretty smooth in that movie.” In my head, the Tommy gun disappeared from Eric’s hand, replaced with dice and confidence. That suited him better.

  “Back then, I had this fantasy,” he said.

  I stopped pacing. “Of?”

  “I was Sky Masterson. And you were Sarah.”

  “Sarah Brown?” I asked with disbelief. “That missionary lady?”

  “Yeah.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “All sophomore year, I thought I could seduce you like Sky does to Sarah in the movie. Make you fall in love with me.”

  My heart revved. “For real or for a bet?”

  “No bets.”

  “Then why?”

  “It’s what I wanted.” After a pause, he added, “It was just a silly fantasy.”

  I didn’t know what to make of that. We were silent for a few moments. I walked to my window and looked out at the beach below.

  “It’s funny because it ended up the opposite,” he said. “You seduced me. Without even trying. You made me fall in love with you.”

  I gripped the closest thing I could find, my hand wrapping around my leather desk chair and holding tight.

  “When I realized that, I stopped wearing the fedora because I didn’t want to be Sky Masterson anymore, or anyone else. I wanted to be me, with you.”

  Oh. My.

  Eric cleared his throat. “Why did you call?”

  My throat felt thick. “Um… I can’t remember.”

  “So will you listen to the song?”

  “Of course.” My voice cracked. I tried again. “Of course I’ll listen to it.”

  “Do you mind coming here? Today? Maybe by then you’ll remember what you called me about.”

  “I can be there by three.” That would give me enough time to shower and put on something besides yoga pants.

  “Great.”

  “Okay then.” I hung up the phone, staring at it blankly, my mind empty. Then I threw the phone on my bed and rushed for the shower. If I was going to make a declaration of my undying love, I needed to look amazing. I couldn’t waste one second.

  * * * * *

  I arrived in my old neighborhood fifteen minutes early. I pulled into the cobblestoned driveway of Kellynch, letting the car idle while I tried to calm my rampaging nerves. A glance in the mirror assured me that none of my makeup had smudged and I didn’t have any stray bits in my teeth or unwanted objects coming out of my nose.

  I stepped out of the car, tugging down my tank top over my skirt and adjusting the necklace at my throat. I stared up at my childhood home, overcome with a weird kind of déjà vu. I shook it off and went to the door. I took a few deep breaths before pressing the ringer.

  Eric opened the door, a huge grin crinkling his eyes. My heart pumped faster. It had been so long since he’d smiled at me like that.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  “No problem.” I followed him into the marble foyer and through the house toward the music room.

  He stopped suddenly. “This is really weird. You, me, in your house. It’s all backward.”

  It really was, and yet I didn’t mind.

  He ran his hand over the back of his hair. “At first, I didn’t even want to come here.”

  Just as I thought. My hand twisted the bracelet around my wrist.

  “I see you in every room.”

  I froze. His gaze was direct, piercing. It caught and held me, sending fiery heat over my entire body.

  Eric looked away, running his hand over his hair again. He turned and headed for the music room. My lips parted in surprise, but I followed.

  The music room was light and airy, with long wind
ows stretching over the entire back wall and white filmy curtains in between. The walls were a deep yellow that turned gold in the sunlight. Shelves of music books lined one wall. Two white leather chairs sat in one corner. The only other objects in the room were the instruments. My mom had collected them. There was a guitar, a violin and a cello on stands. A set of drums in another corner. A decorative table covered in instrument cases—a flute, a piccolo, and a clarinet. A painted white table held a saxophone, a trombone and a trumpet, all shiny brass. And in the middle of the room, the focus piece. A glossy white Steinway grand piano, the only instrument used regularly.

  Eric sat at the piano and then tilted his head toward me where I still hovered in the doorway.

  “You miss it, don’t you?”

  The music room was my favorite in all of Kellynch, and the memories it held were precious. Looking at Eric was like stepping through a doorway into the past. Eric at the piano, us alone in the room, the way he beckoned to me. It all felt achingly familiar.

  “Every day for eight years.” It wasn’t the only thing I’d missed.

  Remembering that I had feet, I decided to use them. As I got closer to the piano, the picture changed. I was no longer in the past, no longer seventeen, and neither was Eric. He looked even better than he had back then. I longed for him more than I ever had before.

  “Ready?” Eric asked.

  I leaned my body against the piano and nodded. Part of me wanted to sit next to him, take up my old place, feel his body move while he played. But my desire to see his face while he sang won out.

  “I think I’m going to call it ‘Sway’.”

  His hands hovered over the keys. He took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling. And then the notes started to pour from his fingers, the music filling the entire room.

  I can’t be silent anymore

  I must speak, you must know

  I’m half in agony, half in hope

  You pierce my soul

  Tell me you still love me

  Tell me it’s not too late

  Give me one more chance

  Let me sway you

  Back to me

  My whole body began to tingle. My knees felt weak. His words burned my ears. I gripped underneath the piano, my hands holding tight to stop myself from collapsing to the floor.