He flashed me a meaningful glance before he left, closing the door behind him.
“This. This is what happens when I step off the path.” I flipped the covers off and attempted to stand. “Oh, God. I think I’m going to become a nun.”
“That would be a shame.”
Liam stood in the doorway, leaning against the jam, watching me with a smirk. He was looking decidedly rumpled, and he needed a shave. The messed-up hair and morning scruff only made me want him more.
His eyes widened as they wandered down my body, and I remembered that I had on only a t-shirt that skimmed the top of my thighs and a tiny wisp of panties beneath. My legs were bare, and my boobs were unfettered. Never a good idea. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat down on the bed again, tugging a blanket over my legs.
“What are you doing here?”
Liam strolled into the room as though it were the most natural thing in the world. He closed the door behind him and sat on the other side of the bed.
“I’m not sure what you mean. I’m still here from last night, because I’d had too much to drink to drive back to campus. Plus, I was worried about you. I’m still here for breakfast because Jeff makes a mean waffle. And I wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry about last night. I’m ...mortified. I never act like that.”
He leaned as though to touch me but stopped short. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. We’ve all been there. The worst thing you did was puke in the bushes.”
“No, it’s not. I said things, and I ...” I cast down my eyes, staring at my own bare feet. “I kissed you.”
“I was a little drunk, too, but I’m pretty sure I kissed you first. And Ava, why is that such a big deal? It’s not like it’s the first time.”
I wanted to stamp my foot in frustration, but being short meant that my legs dangled over the side of the bed without reaching the floor. I had to settle for punching the pillow. It didn’t have the same effect.
“It doesn’t matter if it was the first time or the fiftieth. It’s wrong, I shouldn’t have done it, and I ...won’t do it again. I was stupid to come here last night.”
“Why did you?” I heard the curiosity tinge his words, taking away any sting they might have had.
I toyed with the edge of the bedspread. “I don’t know. Giff and Jules both pestered me about it, but I could’ve said no.” I shrugged. “Julia’s been spending most of her time with Jesse. I was tired of nights in the room by myself, and when they pushed, I let them.” I bit down on the corner of my lip. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. And please tell me you weren’t serious about becoming a nun. It would be a real waste ...of your assets.” He grinned at me.
“Don’t worry. No convent would take me.” I said it so glumly that Liam laughed.
“That’s probably not a bad thing.”
“It would be in my family. None of my brothers or my sister went into the Church, so my mom would probably be thrilled if I did.” I cocked my head, considering. “I wouldn’t be lonely at least.”
Liam stretched out on the bed, lying on his side. “That’s kind of an extreme plan to avoid being alone. You could maybe try something a little less drastic, like, say ...going out with me.”
I groaned and fell into the pillow. “Liam, please. I’m barely holding it together right now. I’ve never had a hangover like this. I’m not sure I can stand up. Don’t tease me.”
“Yeah, that jungle juice is lethal. Some of the guys call it a punch in the balls, because the next day, you’d rather have a punch there than feel like you do.” He flipped a strand of hair out of my face. “I guess that doesn’t mean much to you.”
“Not really. But I have a good imagination.”
“Hey, I did warn you. That stuff eats through the plastic cups if you leave it long enough. And by the way, I wasn’t teasing you. About going out with me.”
I peeked out at him from the pillow. “We’ve been through this, Liam. Nothing has changed for me. I’m not the dating kind of girl.”
If I though he might argue that point, I would have been disappointed. He let his eyes drift closed for a moment, and I saw his throat work as he swallowed.
“How about a friend kind of girl? Are you that?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You said you’ve been lonely. You could use a friend. Why not me?”
I bent my arm and tucked it under my head. “I can think of about a million reasons. Starting with, why would you want to be my friend? I haven’t been very pleasant to be around.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly prince charming myself. Maybe we’re a good pair. Of friends,” he added when I raised one eyebrow at him.
“What does friendship mean? With you, specifically.”
He rolled over onto his back. “I think the rules would be open to interpretation. Maybe we can make them up as we go along.”
“Hmm.” I pulled the blanket up a little higher over my chest. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We should at least have some basic guidelines.”
A little smile played on his lips. “Of course we should. And they would be?”
I held up my fingers, ticking them off one at a time. “No kissing. No touching. No holding my hand. No saying suggestive things.”
“Hold on, clarification needed.” He put up his palm like a stop sign. “That whole suggestive thing is very subjective. What I think is a perfectly innocent comment might be against the rules if someone takes it the wrong way.”
“Use your best judgment.”
A buzzing sounded somewhere in the room. I glanced over to the dresser, where my skirt and top from last night were still folded. The little purse with my phone in it lay next to the clothes, and it was shaking.
“Shit!” Without thinking, I jumped out of bed to get the phone. I missed the call, but to my relief, it was only Julia. I typed her a quick message that I was fine and would be on my way back to the dorm in a few minutes.
“You know, this is one of those situations that feels like a gray area. I mean, as your friend, is staring at your ass creepy, or is it kind of like a compliment?”
“God, Liam.” I wrapped the end of the sheet around the lower half of my body. “I need to get dressed. Can you go back downstairs, please?”
“So I guess that’s a yes on the creepy. Good to know.” He stretched and stood up. “Stop in the kitchen on your way out. Jeff made you something for your head and stomach. Not a cure, but it should help.”
COLLEGE WAS A time of new experiences, and one I had never had before was the walk of shame, returning home the next day in the same clothes I’d worn the night before. Until today, that is.
Amanda had offered to lend me something of hers to wear.
“I know it’ll be too big for you, but you’re welcome to anything in my bag.”
“Thanks, but I already took your bed last night. I’ll be okay. I’m going right back to the dorm.”
“Here.” Jeff handed me a glass of something that looked thick and green. “Drink this before you go.”
“Really? But the coffee actually smells good.” I glanced hopefully at the pot on the counter.
“This first, then you can have coffee. Trust me, you won’t be sorry.”
They all watched me as I sipped the glass suspiciously. To my shock, it was good. There was a fruity taste, and the ice-cold texture soothed my throat. I smiled thanks at Jeff.
“Liam’s going to drive you home in your car, and I’ll follow in his,” Giff told me.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’m fine to drive.” I pushed the empty glass away.
“Not up for discussion.” Liam stood and handed his keys to Giff. “Thanks again for breakfast, Jeff. And for the party.”
“Any time, man.” Jeff leaned back in his chair. “See you tonight, Giff?”
“You know it.” Giff leaned down to kiss him.
I scraped back my chair. “Jeff, I’m sorry about last night. We don’
t know each other very well, but trust me, that was not normal behavior for me.”
He pulled me into a warm hug. “No worries. We’ve all been there. Some of us more often than others. I’m glad you came over last night. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
I nodded and managed a smile.
Amanda grinned at me over her coffee. “I’m sure I’ll see you around, Ava. Get these guys to bring you into the city, and I’ll show you how we party there.”
Grimacing, I shook my head. “Not sure I’m ready to think about drinking again yet, but thanks. For everything.”
Liam held the door as we went out, and then opened his hand to me as we walked across the parking lot. “Keys?”
I unzipped my purse. “Liam, I appreciate the offer, but really, I’m okay to drive. The stuff Jeff made me helped.”
He wriggled his fingers without answering. With an exasperated sigh, I dropped the keys into his palm. He closed his fingers around my hand, holding tight for a minute before releasing.
“What was that?” I climbed into the passenger seat and fastened my seat belt.
“What was what?” Liam had adopted an air of innocence.
“You held my hand. That’s against the rules.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Hand spasm.” He winked at me as he turned the key in the ignition.
I rolled my eyes. “You know, there’s something I don’t understand. I know what I get out of this friendship deal. But what about you? You’re not exactly lacking for company.”
He didn’t look away from the road. “There’s company, and then there’s company. I know a lot of people. But that doesn’t mean I can talk to them. Feel comfortable with them.”
“What about Giff?”
“He’s cool. But he’s busy with Jeff now. See, we’re in the same boat. Our roommates found true love, and we’re left out. It makes sense.”
“Hmmm.” I wasn’t sure I bought that rationale. “Is everything okay with you? I thought last night you looked a little tired.”
He pretended I’d offended him. “Thanks a lot.”
“You know what I mean.”
He was silent for long enough that I thought he’d decided not to answer. “Stuff going on with my parents. It’s ...you know how that is. Or maybe you don’t. You get along pretty well with your family, don’t you?”
I thought of the tiny home where I’d grown up, and the noise level on Sunday afternoons. Loud, crazy, but always full of love.
“Yeah. They make me nuts sometimes, but I love them.”
“Count yourself lucky.” His jaw tightened. “Mine have a ton of expectations, and sometimes I get the feeling that if I don’t live up to them ...” He shrugged. “Let’s just say I don’t think my parents do unconditional love very well.” He pulled into the lot adjacent to my dorm. We both got out of the car, and I turned to say good-bye and get my keys.
“I’ll walk you up. Giff isn’t here yet, anyway.”
“Liam, do you think that’s a good idea? Look at me. I’m a mess. Bad enough I have to walk through the dorm like this, in front of all my freshman girls, but if you’re with me, people will think ...” I stopped talking, my point made.
“Do you care? I don’t. Come on. We’re just two friends, coming back after a night of partying.” He began walking toward the building, leaving me to scramble to keep up with him.
“But you were so worried about Julia and what everyone was saying about her. Why doesn’t it bother you that they might talk about me?”
“Mostly because I don’t think anyone is even going to notice. People assume the best of you, Ava. You’re kind of Teflon, you know?”
We climbed the steps, passing by several girls who only gave me a quick wave or smile. No one looked at me funny or pointed or stared. In fact, none of them seemed to notice. I frowned. Liam may have had a point.
I expected him to drop me at the door and leave, but he didn’t show any signs of being in a hurry to go. I turned the doorknob and nearly fell inside as the door swung open.
“There you are!” Julia grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. “My God, Ava, I was so worried. I tried texting you, and you didn’t answer, and I called ...I left Jesse’s early to come back, and you weren’t here. I was about to call the police. Or your mother.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t have.” I clapped my hand over my heart. “You know the rule. Don’t call my mom until you see my body on the slab at the morgue.”
“That’s dark.” Liam had retreated to the background, out of Julia’s way. Now she noticed him, surprise on her face.
“You don’t know my mother.” I smiled at Liam. “She doesn’t just jump to conclusions. She leaps over tall buildings to get to them. If Jules had said she couldn’t get in touch with me, Mom would have sent my brothers down and maybe called out the National Guard.”
“What are you doing here?” Julia folded her arms over her chest and stared down her ex-boyfriend.
“Making sure Ava got back okay. She was still a little shaky this morning.”
“Oh.” Julia looked from Liam to me, her forehead drawn together.
We were all silent for a few charged beats, and then Liam stepped back.
“I’m going to go. I need to get a shower, do some stuff ...I’ll talk to you later, Ava.” He bent to kiss my cheek before I could side-step him, then left, closing the door behind him.
Julia stood next to me, watching him go, with her mouth sagging in shock. She turned her head to look at me, eyes wide.
“Want to catch me up, Ave?”
AFTER A LONG, hot shower, I pulled on my favorite pair of yoga pants and oversized tee and climbed into bed with two textbooks. Last night had been an odd detour, but I was ready to get back on my safe and boring path.
Julia sat at her desk, working on a newspaper article. She was quiet, and more than once, I caught her gazing at me, her brows knit and her mouth tight.
Finally, after her second deep sigh, I flipped over my book and punched a pillow into shape behind me.
“Okay, what’s going on, Jules? Clearly you have something on your mind. Just say it. I can’t concentrate when you keep looking at me like I just got a death sentence.”
“It’s this thing with Liam. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
I frowned. “What am I doing? I agreed we’d be friends. No different than what you and I both have with Giff. What’s the big deal?”
Julia turned in her chair and looped her arm over the back, hooking her feet on a rung. “The big deal is that this isn’t Giff, it’s Liam. Giff can be our friend because he’s not looking to get us into bed. Can you say the same about Liam?”
I twisted my hair into a knot. “I gave him rules. He knows what I want. And what I don’t want.” I tried to forget his so-called hand spasm and the casual good-bye kiss. Those were probably aberrations.
“I’m just saying, keep your eyes open. I’m not angry with Liam anymore, but I’m also not sure I trust him.”
I nodded. She wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know. I wasn’t ready to think about it too hard. Not when I was still getting over last night. Changing the subject seemed like a good idea.
“So how was the game last night?”
Julia brightened. “So much fun. We went with a couple of Jesse’s friends from grad school, and it was a great game.”
“I’m glad you had a good time.” I stuck my legs back under the covers. “I’m serious, you know? I’m so happy for you and Jesse.”
Julia smiled, but her eyes clouded. “That sounds like there’s a but at the end.”
“No, no but. Maybe an and. I’m happy for you, and I need to get used to the fact that you’re going to be spending more time with him. The last few months have been quiet around here for me.”
“Oh, my God, Ava, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you alone so much. I guess I’m just used to you being blinders-on for school, and I didn’t think about making sure you didn’t feel left out.”
“
Jules, that’s not what I’m trying to say. It’s just an adjustment. We’ve been each other’s best friend since we started college, and we didn’t ever have to worry about being alone. But things are bound to change. After next year, we’ll be going in different directions.”
Julia sniffled. “I thought we were both going to live in New York. I’m going to get a job on a prestigious weekly magazine, and you’re going get into the most high-powered ad firms in the city.”
I laughed. “And what I am going to do with you when the first weekend rolls around and you’re missing Jesse, who’s still down here finishing grad school? Face it, Jules. Our lives are changing, and they’re going to keep changing. That’s okay. I’m not jealous of your time with Jesse. But don’t worry about me if I decide to hang out with Liam now and then.”
She nodded. “Just be careful, Ave. That’s all I’m saying. And if you ever feel like hanging out with Jesse and me, you know you can. Any time.”
“Thanks, sweetie. But you guys are still too gooey right now. I’ll wait until you can be in the same room with him without sitting in his lap.”
Julia stuck her tongue out at me and turned back to the computer. My phone vibrated as I opened my book.
How are you feeling?
I smiled. It felt good to be happy about getting a message from my friend Liam, instead of stressed about getting one from Liam the guy who wanted to sleep with me.
Much better. But I’m never drinking again. Ever.
There was a pause for a minute before he replied.
Sorry, LMAO at you. Sure you won’t.
Grinning, I typed my rebuttal.
Okay, I think I’ll never drink anything RED ever again.
Probably a good policy. What are you doing tonight?
I glanced up at Julia. “Are you staying in tonight, or you going over to Jesse’s?”
She didn’t look away from the computer. “I’m not going anywhere. He’s got some big group project to finish, and I want to get a good night’s sleep.”
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