Duilleog

by Donald D. Allan

  "Sorry? You're sorry?" he exclaimed and I could hear the disbelief in his voice now, too. "Son, son, son," he said, lowering his head and shaking it as he let me go. I watched as the shoulders of the Reeve started bouncing and I realised he was laughing. Laughing! I watched him with growing disdain. How could he sit there and laugh at me?

  Still chuckling, he looked up at me. Seeing the look on my face, he starting roaring in laughter. I was sure that the inn's common room could hear him. Probably most of the town could hear him, too. I crossed my arms and glared at him. This was not what I expected.

  After what seemed like an eternity, he stopped and wiped his eyes dry. He grabbed the trencher and dropped it into my lap. I kept my arms crossed, determined to stay defiant but did glance down at the pork and gravy and quickly swallowed my saliva, hoping the Reeve didn't notice.

  "Eat, eat!" he ordered when he saw me sitting there. "Lord Protector knows you deserve it!"

  He sidled back over to the stool and waited until I finally gave in and attacked the food on the trencher. It was pure bliss. My mouth was soon filled with gobs of pork, potatoes and onions. The gravy was hot, rich and delicious. The crackling on the pork was succulent and crunchy. In less than a minute, I devoured the entire trencher and seriously considered licking the wood clean. The Reeve was looking on in wonder, however, and so I handed the trencher back to him and watched him place it on the nightstand.

  "Obviously you think you did something wrong. Am I correct?" asked the Reeve when he saw that he had my attention.

  I nodded, thinking only about the theft of the coin.

  "Hmm. Interesting. What exactly did you do wrong?" he asked. When I started to answer he cut me off with a raised hand and I realised he was being rhetorical. He leaned toward me on the stool and forced me to look at him.

  "You saved that poor woman and her son, then me by your account. Then you destroyed this 'thing' in the well. Then you removed it from the entire town and likely saved hundreds of people from this sickness. You did all this without any concern for your own well–being and with it now being—what—a week of near death almost to the point of killing yourself, you now think you did something wrong. Did I get that right?"

  I nodded, numb. I couldn't get past that I had kept the coin hidden from the Reeve. Surely that theft was more important to him. It involved Bill and the assassin and it was bigger than this town, I thought. I waited for him to bring it up and laid back, still weak, but I could feel that I was getting stronger.

  "Show me the coin," he demanded.

  Meekly, I pulled out my pouch, drew open the drawstring, upended it and let the coin fall free to land on my open palm. It lay there unassumingly, the worn side up. I was fascinated by it and drawn to its mysteries. It was such a small and simple thing and yet it had allowed me to do so much good and I had no idea how I managed that. My entire life had been about healing: gathering herbs and making potions and unguents. My mother—and again I strained to remember her now forgotten face—she used to speak to me about healing and how important it was. Her words were now long forgotten but her intent and passion were now deeply embodied within me.

  The Reeve leaned closer to get a better look at the coin, but I imagined that he already had ample opportunity to examine it—both the coin and my sickle—and I had a feeling of sinking dread. I had not yet figured out why the Reeve had returned both items to me. Surely he would want to turn them over to the garrison captain. I pushed the coin around on my palm with a finger.

  "That was in your hand when you collapsed," stated the Reeve quietly. "You held it so tightly that there was an imprint of it on your palm and I had to pry your fingers loose." He reached up to scratch the whiskers on his neck and then sat upright and stared at the coin.

  When I was lost in the vision, I had no real sense of time. All that existed was the vision and dealing with eradicating the motes. I could sense that the Reeve was waiting for me to explain the coin and how it worked. I wasn't sure what I should say or even if I could explain. There was so much I did not understand. I could only tell him again what it did.

  "Where'd you get it?" asked the Reeve. My eyes darted to his and with a sudden clarity, I realised that he had not associated the coin with the thief and the murder of Bill Burstone. He thought this coin had always been in my possession. He thought it was mine. If I wanted I could lie, pretend it was mine, and be able to keep the coin. Or, I admitted to myself with guilt, I could admit where I had found the coin and clear my conscience and give it up. I was torn. I could feel greed and desire well up within me and the loudest voice was demanding that I claim the coin as my own. With an effort that felt almost physical, I pushed those feelings away, closed my fingers around the coin and held my hand out to the Reeve.

  Confused, he reached out, and I dropped the coin into his hand.

  "I found it in the boots you gave me from the killer," I said quietly, looking down at my lap in shame.

  The Reeve opened his hand and looked closely at the coin. "This was in the boots?"

  I nodded.

  "And this is what you used to wipe out these 'dust motes'?"

  "Yes."

  "How does it work?"

  "I have no idea," I replied slowly, unsure how to explain what I did know. "I kind of rubbed my thumb along the worn spot and things, well, things just shifted."

  "Shifted? What do you mean?”

  “I dunno, it’s hard to explain. I see the world differently. I’m here but there too."

  “And you just rubbed your thumb along the coin?” said the Reeve and I nodded. “Like this?" and I watched as he rubbed his thumb along the worn spot on the coin. I studied him closely to see if he changed or glowed with light as I had. I looked at the Reeve's eyes and he looked calmly back at me.

  "Well?" I said.

  "Nothing," he replied. "Nothing happened. It's just a coin." He looked at the coin, then at me, and tossed it into my lap on top of the covers. "Try it again," he ordered.

  I picked up the coin and placed my thumb on the worn spot. I hesitated, worried that the pain would come back and my hand shook a little. I could feel the Reeve waiting patiently for me to demonstrate the vision and I took a deep breath and rubbed the coin. The world shifted. I braced myself for the pain and sighed with relief when I felt nothing.

  I turned my gaze to the Reeve and the tight and bright colours that surrounded him. The first thing I looked for were traces of the motes and I confirmed they were no longer within him. I also checked myself and was happy to see that I too was clean. I looked past the startled expression on his face and took in the entire village with my sight. With a profound sense of relief, I could find no more signs of the motes. The village was clean.

  I knew I should check on Daukyns and in a moment I was observing the town hall and found Daukyns lying on his pallet in his small room. To my horror, he was very close to death. Half his body no longer functioned and was senseless. The colours that I expected to see surrounding him were absent on the damaged side of his body. He looked like a man cut in half and all along that line his colours flashed with agony. His breathing was laboured, rapid and shallow, with only one lung that functioned. I looked inside him and found a large blockage in his brain that stopped the flow of blood like a dam. Beyond the blockage he was damaged beyond my ability to heal—that part of his brain was dead. The man I knew as Daukyns was gone and would never return and I knew that he would never wake from this sleep. My only friend was leaving this world and I could do nothing.

  I pulled back. My vision and my grief came upon me suddenly and swiftly and despite my best attempt to control my emotions, I started to sob. I put my face in my hands and turned away from the Reeve.

  "What is it?" demanded the Reeve, concern in his voice. "You glowed again—all over! I waved my hand in front of your face and you didn't even blink. What happened and why are you crying? Will!"

  After a few minutes of ignoring the Reeve's continued demands for an explanation, I managed to ca
lm myself down and explained what I had seen. The Reeve looked at me with a blank face. I had no idea what he thought of all this or why he was suddenly so still.

  "No one told you what had happened with Daukyns?" he asked curtly. "Correct?"

  I nodded and watched my last tears drop to my lap, quickly absorbed by the blanket and disappearing with only a small wet spot to mark the spot. I had to stop this crying all the time, I decided. I was always so damn emotional. With good reason this time, I argued with myself. Daukyns was dying.

  The Reeve shook himself, seeming to realise that I was merely lying there with tears streaming down my face. He reached out, clasped my arm and squeezed it with sympathy.

  "I'm sorry, Will. I wanted to keep this from you until you were stronger and out of that bed. And, well, I didn't know how to best tell you." He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Daukyns collapsed the day after he helped me bring you to the inn. One moment he was fine and then he started talking strange, his words were all mixed up, and then suddenly—bam!—he dropped like a stone to the ground, arched his back and then lay still. He hasn't moved since." The Reeve's words had come in a rush and now he just stood there, relieved to be free of the effort of telling me. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at me.

  “It was a massive stroke, we're pretty sure. We moved him to his room and we check on him routinely and feed him as best we can. We’ve seen it before. It doesn’t look good for Daukyns. Not good at all. I'm so sorry, Will. I know you and he were close." The Reeve squeezed my arm again and let go. He sat back on the stool and hung his head.

  We sat in silence for a spell. My thoughts on Daukyns and how much I owed the man for his support over the years. I had known he was not doing well, but I felt no small measure of guilt that my collapsing had sped up his decline. But some part of me knew that there was nothing I could do to fix that and so I lay in bed trying desperately to get control over my urge to keep crying. I finally managed and wiped my face clear of snot and tears. I looked over to the Reeve and saw grief there, too. I wondered what the Reeve thought of me crying all the time. He probably believed I was just a child, and I was embarrassed. Then again, I thought, maybe he wanted to cry too.

  The Reeve pushed his hands against his knees, stood up and walked over to the door. He opened it a crack and looked outside to the corridor. Satisfied that no one was listening in, he softly closed the door and latched it, turned back to me, and sat down again. I watched him curiously, not knowing what was coming next.

  "You need to keep your ability quiet, Will. You understand?" he demanded with a quiet voice but with urgency there that was unmistakably serious. His eyes bore into mine and it was all I could do not to flinch. "No one will understand all this. Hell, I don't understand all this. I don't get how you are able to do what you do! Certainly seems that only you can make that coin work." The Reeve scratched his neck again where there was redness, and I knew it was probably a bug bite and felt a sudden urge to fix it but resisted. What the hell is wrong with me? I can't fix everything and I can't fix Daukyns. The coin seemed like a useless thing to me and I clenched my fist around it.

  "Yeah, I get it," I mumbled, looking away. "I just want to get out of here, back to the woods."

  "Not anytime soon, son," said the Reeve, and I looked at him again, startled with him calling me son. "We need to figure this out first. One of the things that Daukyns said before, well, before... well, he said he might understand what you could do and what you did to the town. He confirmed to me that the coin was Bill's and insisted that you be allowed to keep it. He said he was positive that it was meant for you. Did he ever speak to you about this?"

  "No. He didn't know I had the coin," I replied honestly. I was surprised Daukyns would say that. The Reeve must have figured out where I found the coin—or at least tied it to the assassin. "You knew where I had got the coin!" I blurted out.

  "Yes, Will. I did," he said, merely looking back at me.

  "You were testing me," I said meekly. "Weren't you?"

  "Yes, I was."

  I thought about that for a moment and realised that I had deserved the test and more importantly I knew I must have passed it. "So what did Daukyns say about it?" I asked.

  "He never got a chance to say anything. All I found out was what he told me. That he had been looking into something with Bill. He meant to tell me more, I think, but then shortly after that, he collapsed. But don't worry, we'll figure this out somehow."

  The Reeve sat back down on the stool and then pried open my hand and took the coin from where I still clenched it tightly. The Reeve raised an eyebrow at the sharp indentations in my hand and then he tried rubbing the coin again and again. After failing to get results, he handed it back to me.

  "Yours for now," he said simply. Somewhat surprised, I took the coin from him and dropped it back into my pouch.

  "Thanks," I said, "I didn't think you would return it to me."

  "Well, I've had a long thought about it. Seems to me that it kinda belongs to you, you know?" He was looking up at the ceiling searching for his words. "You used it and I don't think anyone else could. Daukyns, when he told me it should stay with you, that decided it for me. I haven't even told the captain about what you did. Only you and I know, Will." He paused while I digested that. "You really glow all over when you use it, Will. You can't hide that. You'll have to be careful."

  He grew quiet.

  "Well," I said to break the silence. "Okay, I will."

  The Reeve just looked at me and smiled.

  "I–it kinda feels right," I stammered. "Right that I have it."

  "Will. You healed this entire town despite it almost killing you, but you did it anyway. The coin allowed that to happen and so it seems to me that the town owes you that coin."

  I wasn't sure if the logic was right and it made me feel uncomfortable. I was glad the Reeve had kept all this hidden from the public, especially the captain. I needed to stay hidden; my promise to my mother was very prominent in my thoughts. It looked like I was still holding onto my promise and I was glad.

  "I think the coin was meant for me," I almost whispered. "And so it feels right that I have it. I can't explain that and I'm sorry I can't. I nearly didn't tell you about it at all. I wanted to, but I was afraid you would take it away."

  "If you hadn't used it the way you did, I would have and turned it over to the captain."

  "I understand, Reeve."

  I sat a moment longer thinking about the coin and what could have led to it arriving into my hands. I shook my head to clear the thoughts away. Those 'what ifs' weren't helping. I didn't know what had happened to bring the coin to the attention of an assassin.

  "What do you suppose Bill and Daukyns wanted with the coin?" I asked. "Do you think they knew what it could do?"

  "I've no idea. He and Bill were looking into something. Somehow the coin entered into it. Brought the attention of that thief—and the others I'm sure are still out there. Did Daukyns ever hint at anything about this?"

  "No," I said after a moment’s thought. "Last time I was in town was over a month ago. Daukyns hadn't said a word. He was just being Daukyns, you know?"

  "He's a smart man, by the Word. He wouldn't be wasting his time on just any whim. We'll have to ask him when he recovers." The Reeve glanced sideways at me, gauging my reaction. I was surprised and saddened. The Reeve had no idea that I knew just how bad Daukyns’ condition was. I wondered if he truly knew.

  "Yes, we will," I murmured and felt my eyes prick with tears. I wiped them hastily before they could fall. The Reeve rose from his stool and paced the room.

  "Daukyns knew that Bill had owned the coin, so how did Bill obtain it and from where?" I sensed he wasn't looking for an answer and was merely talking out loud so I laid back and watched him go back and forth.

  "He couldn't have had it for long. Bill lived here for years with no trouble. The coin shows up and wham, he's killed for it. Hmm… maybe. Maybe whatever they were looking int
o revealed that he had the coin and they came for it. Either way, the result was the same."

  The Reeve stopped at the door and quickly looked out into the hallway. Seeing no one there, he resumed his pacing. He kept talking.

  "So Bill Burstone had the coin. Someone knew about it. They came here and stole it from him, killing him in the process. That man was a professional. So someone of importance wanted that coin and wanted it badly enough to kill for it. Right?"

  This last was directed at me and I answered with a quick yes, not really knowing the truth.

  "There's more than one. That's certain. They haven't come after me so they must think the assassin didn't get his hands on it. They must think the coin is still in the house somewhere."

  I had forgotten that somewhere in Jaipers there lurked associates of the assassin. I felt a chill. The map found on the thief had far too much detail of the guard movements. The Reeve had told me Captain Gendred was looking into it and trying to figure out who it possibly could be. From this, everyone would know my involvement. It didn't take me long to determine that I, too, could be a target and suddenly the coin felt very heavy around my neck. It must have shown on my face for the Reeve stopped pacing and asked what was wrong.

  "They'll come after me, won't they?" I asked.

  The Reeve laughed. "No, Will. It's me they'll come after. I was the one who took the thief down. Everyone in town saw me drag his body to the graveyard. But I suspect it’s the coin they want. They'll think it’s still in the house."

  I nodded at this. That seemed to make sense, and I relaxed somewhat.

  We continued to talk quietly until the sun touched the horizon. The light started to dim in the room and the Reeve said he had to be going.

  "Tomorrow we'll talk about that glass sickle," he said as he started toward the door. He placed his hat on his head and looked at me for a moment. "There's more to you than either you or I understand, Will. There's a mystery here I mean to get to the bottom of. I need to talk to Captain Gendred. You understand that?" When I nodded he continued. "He already knows about the chest of gold coins and I'll let him know that there may be another attempt to recover it. He'll understand that. He told me that he's already sent word to the capital by pigeon asking for them to arrange transportation of the chest along with a contingent of armed capital guards.