Married. Wait! What?

by Virginia Nelson

  “Hmmm…I bet you do.”

  “Besides, I like what you have on just fine. It accentuates your…personality,” he said, coming a little closer to me.

  Just as he said that a burly Asian man who looked like he doubled as a Sumo wrestler cleared his throat. “Your bags, ma’am.” The twinkle in his eye said he was probably laughing at us on the inside. I handed over my few bags to him so that he could take them over to the trunk I didn’t even notice had been opened.

  Shaking myself (it couldn’t possibly have been a flirting session!) I started towards the limo saying to Chase as I passed by him, “Ok, I’m dying to check this baby out.”

  I could have sworn I heard him say, “I’m dying to check something out myself, but not anything with wheels.” But maybe I just heard wrong, so I just kept on walking.

  I didn’t think it was even possible, but the damn thing looked even better up close. I’m not exactly a car junkie or anything, but I do have an appreciation for nice rides, and this one had me damn near drooling. All black H3 Hummer Stretch with chromed out wheels and silver trimming. “I can’t wait to get inside this thing!” I squealed.

  “So get in,” Chase said, from right behind me. When the driver made his way over to open the door (and I’m assuming to help me in) Chase stopped him saying, “I got this. Besides, you’re just our driver, not our servant, and you’ll still get a hefty tip.”

  As he opened the door I said to him with a sly smile, “Well aren’t you the perfect gentleman?”

  “I do try,” he replied, in a tone that seemed deeper than usual. He took my hand and helped me up and into the awaiting carriage.

  “Oh my goodness,” were the only words I could manage to utter when I attempted to take it all in at once. It was like entering the T.A.R.D.I.S., so much bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. Instead of stepping into the back of a vehicle, it felt as though I was entering a plush hotel suite. No, there wasn’t a bed, but there was a Jacuzzi set up in the very back, and while the windows were tinted to where no one could see in from the outside, there was a clear and perfect view from the inside. Leather seats all around with about a million different compartments for who knows what. Everything looked so pristine and clean I was afraid to sully it by touching it.

  “If you could quit ooooing and ahing over everything long enough to sit down, the driver can get us going, and I’ll tell everything conveniently hidden behind each of these cubby holes. ’Cause this ride here, is truly a limousine made for Detroit.”

  “Dang, am I that bad? Because I gotta admit, I feel like a kid in a friggin’ candy store right now.”

  Chase laughed at me and hit a button that must have been an intercom to the driver. “We’re ready.” Then we pulled away from the curb, which I only knew from looking out of the window. The ride so smooth I couldn’t tell we were even rolling.

  “This is just, wow, I can’t possibly put it into words.” There was even a plasma screen on the back of the driver’s partition.

  Chase handed me the remote to the T.V. while he held another smaller remote in his hand. “The television is equipped with Wi-Fi for all of your streaming needs, with HBO, Netflix, and Hulu set up and ready to go. The compartment sliding out to your right is your personal mini bar, no worries, I have my own on my side.” He made both slide out in demonstration as he continued, “If you would open up the top compartment of your mini bar, you will see perfectly rolled and crisp blunts, joints, and a pack of Newports for your smoking convenience.” They were in what could only be described as a cooling drawer. Now I understood what he said about this truly being a Detroit limo. “Mine has its own too, but puff, puff pass is so much more fun.”

  “Damn, the only thing missing is food and a bed.” He cleared his throat before pushing yet another button, making me want to switch remotes with him, as he proved that not even that was missing. A panel opened up beneath my feet and his, as boards pulled out to connect and make a nice sized bed that would give the Hilton a run for its money. “I stand corrected. I am so glad you’re the one that chose and not me. Because this here is beyond amaze-balls.”

  “I figured if we’re the ones who have to do the most leg work, why not make the most of it? And come on, who needs a plane when you can have something like this.” Grabbing one of the many blunts from off his side and holding it out to me, Chase continued with a sexy devilish grin, “We’ve got a couple of hours before we get to our first destination of picking up the dress, so, care to do the honors?”

  7

  We lasted for about an hour before the both of us had the munchies and needed to make a pit stop for some food. At least we were in Ohio already. Still an hour or so away from the bridal shop we needed to get to, but we had made some progress and that’s always better than none.

  We hadn’t really talked all that much during the drive; we were too busy finding what other treasures the limo had to offer. Mostly we toked, choked, and joked. Basically, we just had some fun.

  We were still laughing like a couple of teens when we pulled to the side of the road after spotting an IHOP. Chase told the driver, “Man, no way are you pulling this monster into that parking lot, and even if you could we’d be taking up the whole damn thing. You can pull in that empty lot down the road and we’ll just walk. If that’s okay with you.”

  “Sure, I even wore my walking heels for such an occasion.” Laughing again, I followed behind Chase as he stepped out and offered me his hand. A hand that I didn’t even realize I was still holding until he let it go to open the door of the restaurant.

  Maybe he didn’t notice.

  “Well, don’t y’all look cute together?” Before giving us a chance to respond, the hostess ushered us in with a, “Come right this way.”

  She sat us down at a quiet table for two by a window saying, “You two sure came at a perfect time. Any earlier or later and this place woulda been busting at the seams.” Handing us our menus, she said, “Take y’all time looking over the menu, and your waiter will be right on over in a few.”

  Looking at my menu, I glanced up for a second and caught Chase’s eyes on me. Not saying a word, I just inwardly wondered what happened to that geeky looking kid from high school. And his eyes? You know how most people just look half sleep after smoking? Not Chase: somehow it just made his half lidded gaze seem sexy as sin. Saved from saying anything as the waiter arrived to take our orders, that contact was broken, and not a moment too soon.

  “Truth or dare?”

  “What?”

  “Truth or dare?” Chase repeated.

  “I heard you the first time, but how the hell are we going to play Truth or Dare here?”

  “Easy, by just doing it. I told you, we are going to make the most out of each and every moment. So, I repeat, again, truth or dare?”

  “Why do I have to go first?” When he just sat there silently waiting with that grin of his plastered across his face, I conceded, “Fine. Truth.”

  “Why does a woman like you keep dating the sleaziest of scumbags?”

  “Oh, that’s an easy one. Because they’re the only ones with balls enough to approach me. But, in my defense, they don’t have ‘asshole’ etched into their foreheads.” Though that would have helped me to avoid a lot of heartache if they had. “Your turn. Why is a guy like you still single?”

  “Probably because I’ve been in love with one woman ever since high school, and no one else adds up or even compares to her. But, I never had the nerve to go after her.” The heat in his gaze felt as though there was an ‘until now’ that went unsaid.

  “And just who is this mystery woman?”

  “Nah uh, uh. I already said my truth. Even though you didn’t give me the choice of truth or dare.”

  “Oh, you noticed that did you?”

  “Yes, yes I did. So I guess that means I get to choose for you too this go ’round, right?”

  Once again I was saved by the waiter who was definitely getting a big ass tip. Is it just me, or does
food look and smell so much better when you have the munchies?

  We were damn near done with our meal when I heard Chase clear his throat. When I looked up at him, all he said was one word, “Dare.”

  “I was hoping you had forgotten about that. Can’t I get truth instead?”

  Laughing at me, he responded with a nice and polite, “Nope.”

  “Damn.”

  “I dare you to take the rest of this whipped cream, spread it across your lips, and take a selfie.”

  “Fine.” And I did just that while laughing the entire time. Then I asked, “Truth or dare?”

  “Dare.”

  “I dare you to do the same thing, with the strawberry jam.” This was actually fun. He even puckered up his lips for his selfie. The waiter was laughing so hard when he came over with the bill the poor thing almost tripped and fell. Before he even bothered to ask I said, “Dare,” as the waiter walked away.

  I knew I was in for it when a devilish grin spread across his strawberry lips. “I dare you to clean this jam from my mouth. Without a napkin.”

  Leaning across the table as though I was going to use my lips, I pulled back at the last minute and used my finger instead. Thinking I was the one being a smartass, the joke was on me when he let his tongue dart out and wrap around my finger. “Um…” was the only coherent thought I could muster, because that felt pretty damn good.

  Letting go he simply stated, “Just didn’t want you to get all sticky. You ready to go?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  Since I didn’t know what to think about what had just happened, I figured it best to just not think at all.

  8

  Finally we made it to our first destination, the bridal shop to pick up the illustrious wedding dress. We may have had a couple of shots along the way, but that’s all. Just a little something to help me with the determination of not thinking about the incident in the restaurant.

  The bridal shop was beautiful. Very spacious with bright lighting and some of the most breathtaking dresses I had ever seen. Not just wedding dresses, but ballgowns, bridesmaid dresses that didn’t look hideous—they even offered champagne (which we accepted even though we were already slightly buzzed). Towards the back of the store were the dressing rooms, which you could catch a glimpse of from the front, including the small stage for the bride-to-be to stand on, surrounded by full-length mirrors and plush, comfy-looking chairs. I have no idea what the shop in Michigan had looked like, but this one in Ohio would be any bride’s dream come true, as long as you had money falling out of your pockets. The prices were astronomical.

  The dress was already at the counter, packaged and ready to go. So this should have been a quick pick up, and get back on the road. But, when Chase saw me mesmerized by all of the beautiful dresses, he caught me off guard with three little words made famous by Nike, “Just do it.”

  “Since I’ll probably never have one of my own, why not?” Giggling like a school girl who was getting ready to buy her first prom dress, I grabbed five dresses and ran to the dressing rooms.

  And then the fun began! I don’t know if it was the trying on each dress, and twirling around like some model with a one man audience that was more fun, or looking at the workers’ expressions. They seemed to be on the verge of having a panic attack. They were having a conniption fit since they suspected I wouldn’t be purchasing any of the dresses I was trying on. Of course, I was technically a paying customer, I already paid for a dress—just not my dress.

  Things really got interesting when I was trying on the last dress, which was ironic since it was not only the least expensive one, but the one that made me feel the prettiest, like a princess. I had even pulled my hair up, looking into the mirror and picturing myself walking down some aisle with it on. What I should have been imagining, however, was how to get the damn thing off.

  “Chase, uh, could you come here a minute?” I shouted from inside the dressing stall. When I saw his feet from below the door, I cracked it open to let him in. “Uh, as clichéd as this sounds, can you help me out of this damn thing? I can’t get this zipper to come down.”

  I lifted up my hair as he went to stand behind me. When I gazed in the mirror at the two of us, I don’t know if it was from being slightly inebriated, but damn did we look good together. That train of thought got quickly dissipated as he said, “Shit.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Well, I got the zipper halfway down, but—”

  “But, what?”

  “My cufflink is now kind of stuck in it.”

  “So. Unstick it. That did not sound right.”

  “Uh, if I do that, I might rip the dress.”

  “You’ve got to do something. We can’t go the rest of the day stuck together, not literally anyway.”

  “I’ve got an idea. You might not like it, but it really is the best way to go about this.” Reading my irritated expression in the mirror, he hurried to explain his plan. “It’d probably be a whole lot easier to pry it loose if I take off the shirt and you slip out of the dress.”

  “Problem. I seriously doubt I can just shimmy out of this dress.”

  “You could, with my help.” Not even waiting to see what my response was going to be, Chase began unbuttoning his shirt. But, when you think about it, I guess it really was the best way for the dress to go unharmed.

  And once that shirt was off it revealed a true work of art beneath it. Chase was toned to perfection: arms that promised to keep you safe and warm at night, a chest that was padded enough to prove he did work out but not so rock-hard that it wouldn’t feel just right against your face. His killer abs led one’s eyes down to wonder at what lay beneath the waistline.

  When Chase said, “Your turn,” his voice sounded a lot huskier than usual. “I think we’ll have better luck going up than down.”

  Raising both of my arms above my head, he began pulling the dress up as wiggled around trying to loosen it. After a few more rounds of bouncing, pulling, and tugging, I was finally freed from the contraption. But, I was also bare, butt naked except for a pair of black lace boy shorts. What? The dress had a built in bra; they all did. The price wasn’t for the brand name only. I didn’t even remember that I was braless until Chase had put both the dress and his shirt aside and just stood there staring at me like, well, I can’t really describe like what, and all he could manage to say was, “Wow.”

  “Chase, you’ve seen naked women before.”

  “Like I said earlier, none that even compare.” His eyes never left my body as he said this.

  “Thought you said – umph.” My words were cut off as I started to trip over my own shoes on the floor. Chase reached out to catch me, only to start stumbling over the damn things himself. Still determined to not let either of us fall, he kept his grip on my back, but we ended up plastered against the wall anyway, with my breasts smashed against his chest, and his very ‘there’ erection pressed against my core.

  There were no words said between us at that moment, just a searing heat that radiated off of both of our bodies, and a look of determination in Chase’s eyes. He began to bend his head closer to mine, when someone loudly cleared their throat, following that up by saying, “Need any help in there?”

  I didn’t know whether I wanted to slap the woman for ruining what seemed to be a perfect moment, or to kiss her for saving me from making a huge mistake.

  9

  Deciding it was just plain easier to purchase the dress instead spending even more time inside of that store trying to pry it loose from his shirt, and explaining what in the world we had been doing in the dressing room, we walked out with two dresses instead of just the one.

  Back in the limo both of our phones started blowing up. Apparently everyone had already landed safely in Pennsylvania, some a tad more shaken up from the flight than others—well, one anyway. Chase was showing me a picture Max sent him on his phone as he said, “Your brother is so wrong.” He didn’t even attempt to cover up the laugh that followed.
>
  Max had sent him a picture of Danielle losing her lunch and whatever else she may have eaten as soon as they stepped off of the jet. “Poor thing, at least she won’t be hounding me about getting on that jet anymore.” I promptly received a text from her reading, Your brother is an asshat!

  While still laughing at them, Chase grabbed a joint from his side. Holding it up to show it to me he said, “How about a race?”

  “You’re insane, but fuck it.” Like he said, we were going to have nothing but fun today.

  We were choking like a couple of asthmatics when the limo lurched and we heard a loud-ass pop.

  The driver called on the intercom as he pulled over to the shoulder on the highway asking us, “You two okay back there?”

  Chase hit the button to answer him with a, “Yeah, we’re okay. You hit something?”

  “Nope, ’bout to get out and check to see what happened now.”

  After handing me what was left of his joint, which was practically nothing to show that he had won, Chase got out to see what was going on too. I took that moment to check in with Alex and see if everything was going alright on her end. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when she informed me that everything had gone smoothly, and everyone was more than happy to take an unscheduled paid vacation for the week. Said she and her wife Nicole would be boarding their plane in the morning right after dropping off their kids at her mom’s.

  As soon as I finished texting with her, Chase got back in, and by the expression on his face he did not have any good news to relay. “I am so not liking the look on your face right now,” I said.

  “Tire blew out.”

  “Okay, driver changes it, we get back on the road, no big deal.” When he remained silent, “Please tell me it’s not a big deal.”

  “I could tell you that, but you’ve known me more than long enough to know I was lying.”