Brighter (Brighter #1)

by Rochelle Allison

  “Well, there’s a first time for everything,” she said, glancing sideways at me. “And jealousy’s a bitch.”

  “But I thought he was okay…I mean, not angry. Not like this.” I shook my head. “Did Jude hit back?”

  Ivy looked at me like I was crazy. “What do you think, Alina?”

  Every cell in my body yearned to go back, find Jude, and talk to him. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, that I didn’t mean to bring drama to his doorstep. I’d never imagined Theo’s feelings ran so deep, and that kind of made me want to apologize to him, too. Chewing my lip, I sent Jude a text, letting him know I was just outside, but by the time Ivy had convinced me to call it a night, he’d yet to respond.

  “Come on,” she said, tossing her arm around me as we walked down the quiet street. “It’ll blow over. Theo’s leaving, Jude will calm down.”

  Yeah, it would blow over. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be all right, though.

  ~

  I woke abruptly around three, when Theo lumbered drunkenly into the house. Yawning, I flipped the pillow to the cool side and waited until I heard his weight hit the futon in the living room before falling asleep again.

  In the morning, I made a pot of coffee and shuffled over to Theo. He was still fast asleep, fully dressed…sporting a black eye and a busted lip. Well, shit.

  Caught between sadness and fury, I returned to the bedroom, closing the door with a less-than-quiet bang.

  By the time Theo rolled out of bed, he had just enough time to force down a slice of toast with his coffee and breeze through a shower. I was on the couch when he emerged, toweling his hair as he brushed his teeth.

  “Cole can drive me to the airport,” he mumbled through the foam.

  “No.” I stood, swinging on my purse. “Nora already gave me her car keys. Seems you and I have a few things to talk about before you leave.”

  He left without a word, escaping to the bathroom while I texted Cole.

  Don’t bother. I’ll drive him.

  You sure? Might be easier if I take him.

  100% sure. Talk to you later.

  I got in the minivan, messing with the radio stations as Theo lugged his bags out. He looked awful, hungover and beat-up and just…sad.

  “So?” I asked, pulling out of the driveway.

  “What, Alina?” he asked, sighing long and hard.

  “Why did you start a fight with Jude last night, Theo? What the hell?” I cried, white-knuckling the steering wheel.

  “God, come on,” he groaned, scrubbing his face.

  “No! You can’t just go around hitting people! This isn’t even you.” We sat in silence, coasting along as neighborhood streets became major thoroughfares. “That’s it, then? No explanation?”

  “What do you want me to say?” he asked quietly. “I was drunk. And I can’t stand Jude. And no matter what went down between you and me, that guy is always gonna be the one who moved on someone else’s girl.”

  We paused at a stoplight. “Your girl? But we were never really together.”

  “Yeah, that’s what we said, but that was probably a bunch of bullshit. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter—”

  “No, it doesn’t. And that’s why I said Cole could drive me to the airport, because I didn’t want to hash this shit out with you right now.”

  “Then when?” I asked, stung all over again. “I’m not going to see you for a while.”

  “Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said, staring out the window. “We need a little breathing room. We got too close this time. Too complicated.”

  He’d shut down; it was like there was an invisible wall between us now. I’d seen him do this with people from time to time, just never with me. It felt awful, like we’d been disconnected.

  At the airport, I followed Theo out of the minivan. He allowed me to help him get his stuff out, and then turned, his blue eyes dull. “Just six months ago we were right here, waiting for Cole,” he said, looking around. “I’m going to miss it.”

  “Me too. I’m going to miss you, I mean.” My stomach was in knots. I hated this. “Will you let me know when you’re home safe?”

  Nodding, he picked up his bags. “Take care of yourself. I'll see you, okay?”

  “Hey. I’m glad we came,” I whispered, biting my lip. My vision blurred. “This trip is one of the best things that happened to me.”

  “It was a good trip,” he said, gazing down at me. Brushing my cheek with a kiss, he disappeared into the crowd. I stood still for a minute, feeling like the last thing connecting me to my old life had snapped, leaving me untethered.

  Then a taxi man blared his horn at me, startling me from my schmaltzy episode.

  “Miss. Miss! You got to move!” he called, waving at me.

  “Sorry, sorry,” I mumbled, getting back into the car.

  ~

  Craving chicken noodle soup, I stopped at the store on the way home to pick up a few things for dinner. Fresh bread, wine, fancy cheese and crackers…I had no one to cook for but myself, but this was comfort food. And I needed comforting. For the first time in my entire life, I was alone.

  I loved feeling free, hated having no one to talk to. I thought about Theo, wondering if he’d gotten back yet. His mother was probably already whisking him off to the house for an over-the-top dinner. She was Greek and could really kill it in the kitchen when she was in the mood. She’d be upset about the black eye…the busted lip. My stomach ached. Could Theo and I survive this?

  Losing myself in the rhythm of chopping vegetables, I set about making dinner. After putting my soup on to simmer, I flopped onto the bed and gave Jude a call. I felt like it was his turn to call me, but I couldn’t chill in limbo like this.

  He picked up right away, sounds of music and conversation in the background. “Hey, I was just about to call you.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you get my messages from last night?”

  “Yeah.”

  I frowned at the wall.

  “Did Theo leave?” asked Jude.

  I paused. “Yes.”

  The phone shifted, crackling as he got back on. “What’re you up to tonight?”

  “That’s it? We’re not even going to talk about what happened last night?”

  “We can talk about it. Can I pick you up on my way home?”

  “How long will that be?”

  “Half hour.”

  My heavy heart lightened, just a little. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he said, voice dropping some. “I’ll see you soon.”

  Maybe it was a little premature, but I took a shower and packed a bag. Chances were we’d be out late, and I wanted the option of staying with Jude if the night took us there.

  I was pulling a tank top on when there was a knock at the door. “Just a second!” I called, buttoning my shorts on the way to the door.

  Jude was talking to Eli across the porch. He waved to him, lifting his chin when he saw me. “Hey.”

  “Hey, Jude.” I gave him a little smile, trying not to fixate on his black eye.

  “If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that…”

  “You’d be a millionaire,” I said, holding the door open as he came inside. “Want soup?”

  He checked his phone. “Can we take it to go? There’s something I’d like to show you.”

  “Bringing me to another secret spot to ‘look at the lights?’”

  “You could say that,” he said, following me to the kitchen.

  “You gonna tell me what happened last night?” I asked, ladling soup into thermoses.

  “Your boy rolled on me like a fuckin’ thug, that’s what,” said Jude. “So, I repaid the favor. This is where I live, Alina. No one’s going to sucker punch me like a pussy and then just walk. He’s lucky his little crew was there.”

  “I can’t believe he did that. It’s so unlike Theo.”

  “Takes just one.”

  “Just on
e what?”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Just one girl.”

  “I’m sorry, Jude,” I said, bagging up the food.

  “For what? Never apologize for someone else.” He glared at me. “Never.”

  “Why didn’t you call me back earlier?”

  “Because I was too fucking mad, and I know you two are…whatever you are.” He picked up a bag of food. “Didn’t want to say something I’d regret.”

  “About us?”

  “About Theo.” He cocked his head. “I don’t regret this. Do you?”

  “I regret that there’s fallout.” I took a long, slow breath. “But I don’t regret you.” It was an insufficient thing to say, but we were going deeper now. Uncharted waters.

  He caught me as I locked the door, taking the things in my hands and setting them down. “Hey.”

  I stared up at him in the faint light.

  Touching my face, he drew me closer for a kiss. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Theo had said those same words, hours ago, but they were different, coming from Jude.

  The ride was quiet, but not as awkward as I’d feared. Jude refused to tell me what he had planned, but as we neared Salt River, I suspected it had something to do with kayaking. “Is it the bioluminescence?” I asked, grabbing his arm.

  He grinned, shrugging. “You’ll see.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” I sat up a straighter, excited at the prospect of not only returning to Salt River, but doing this tour. “When did you plan this?”

  “Today.” He smiled when I took his hand, squeezing it. “Like you said, we have lots to get done before you leave.”

  We spent just under two hours working our way through the bay. Moments after the sun set over the water, smearing it with peach and purple, bioluminescence began to appear beneath the surface. I’d seen the algae in Costa Rica, and more recently at Jack’s Bay, but never this clearly. Deep, electric blue and neon green glimmered brightly beneath our kayaks.

  “It’s like looking at the sky,” I breathed, dragging my hand through the water. The bioluminescence swirled around my fingers, tiny stars and fireflies.

  “It is,” agreed Jude. Our eyes met, and he smiled softly. “It’s magic.

  ~

  “Shall I open this?” Jude asked, holding up the wine bottle.

  I nodded, taking the garlic bread from the oven. “That would be great.” Straightening up, I rested it on the countertop allowing it to cool.

  Jude handed me my glass with a small smile. He looked like a ruffian tonight, with an old t-shirt to compliment his battle scars. “Thanks for sharing your dinner with me.”

  “Thanks for taking me to Salt River.” We clinked our glasses and took a sip.

  “I know you wanted to go back during the day, to check out the mangroves, but I figured we could always do that another time.”

  “I can’t believe you remember that,” I said, thinking back to my first week on St. Croix. It felt like a lifetime ago. “You’re a good listener.”

  “Yes, I am,” he said, tilting his head as he swirled his wine around. “It’s an unofficial part of my job description.”

  “Listening compassionately while your customers drown their sorrows in the brew of the day?”

  “Or something stronger.”

  I took another longer sip. It was good wine, a pinot noir I’d found at a grocery store. Warmth radiated down my limbs, making me feel light and mellow. I was exactly where I wanted to be, and judging by the twinkle in Jude’s eyes, so was he.

  Later, after dinner, I followed Jude to his room. I left my bag on the same chair as last time, tucking my shoes underneath. When I turned, Jude was propped on the edge of the bed, watching me.

  I walked closer, let him pull me between the V of his legs. “Will you stay?” he asked, as if I could say no to those beautiful brown eyes.

  Nodding, I clasped his face gently between my hands. I trailed a line of kisses over it, pausing at his black eye. “Okay.”

  He stretched up and kissed me, teasing the seam of my lips with his tongue. “I’m gonna take a shower. Do you…want to take one?”

  “With you?” I squeaked. He grinned, and I blushed—hotly. “I’m okay. I mean, I took one earlier. Before we left.”

  Sliding his hands into my back pockets, he squeezed my butt. “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  He stood, forcing me to take a couple of steps back. “You might change your mind when you see it,” he said.

  I froze, staring at him incredulously. “See what?”

  His eyes widened, and he broke in to the rowdiest laughter I'd ever heard, making me giggle too. Ugh, he was cute. Too cute. “The shower, Alina. Once you see the shower.” He peeled his shirt off, tossing it into the hamper.

  Cracking up, I covered my face. “Oh, shut up... you know that sounded like you meant something else!”

  “Hey, no shame if your mind went straight there…” He chuckled, stepping out of his jeans.

  “Please.” I scoffed, trying not to be too affected by the fact he’d just stripped to his boxers. Technically, it was like his swimsuit. But well, context-wise, it was nothing like that. I averted my eyes, looking instead at a painting on the wall. “Like your mind isn't there.”

  “Oh, my mind’s been there for a while,” he said, coming closer again. Forcing me to look. “I've just been waiting for you to catch up.”

  Outside, the wind shushed through the trees and through the windows behind the bed. I linked my hands around his waist, and he tilted my chin up, kissing me. I loved it. I’d never get tired of kissing Jude. He sneaked his hands to the hem of my tank top, lifting it a little. “You sure you don’t want to take a shower with me?” he asked again, nuzzling my neck with his nose.

  “Tempting,” I said, shivering beneath the onslaught. “But I probably shouldn't.”

  He unbuttoned my jeans, pulling the zipper down with languid assuredness. “Okay,” he said against my ear. We tugged my jeans off, his eyes drinking in all the new skin he’d uncovered as if I was already naked.

  I closed my eyes as his lips dragged down my neck. “If I take anything else off, we're probably going to have sex, and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.”

  Pausing, he stared down at me. “I didn’t bring you here just for sex.”

  “Right.” I kissed the corner of his mouth, darting away when he tried to catch me. “You brought me here to chill.” I walked into a bright, airy bathroom, catching my reflection in the mirror over the sink. Tousled hair, pink cheeks, eyes dark and shining. Jude did that to me. “More like Netflix and chill.”

  Our eyes met in the mirror, and he smirked. Rolling my eyes, I turned to look at the shower—and understood why he’d wanted to show it to me. A glass door; smooth, granite-like walls. A showerhead the size of a dinner plate. But the ceiling was the stunner. As in, there wasn't one. If I squinted, I could just make out glass, but the effect was stunning—I was looking up into a clear night sky. “You’re kidding me.”

  “My Dad built it. It’s one of the few things in the house he changed.”

  I reached inside, touching the shiny, slate-grey walls. The shower smelled faintly of something he used, vetiver perhaps, or lemongrass. Nora was right—he did like that stuff. Swallowing, I backed away. “It’s incredible.”

  The shower came on as I climbed into his colossal bed. I was convinced it had been created expressly for rolling around. How many girls had Jude Larsen invited into it? Perhaps none. I’d pegged him originally as a bit of a ladies’ man, but now I wasn’t so sure. There was a private side to Jude, like he didn’t need to be with someone.

  “You look deep in thought.” He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, toweling his hair. He'd put on a pair of sweatpants that only emphasized his chest and abs, those killer v-lines.

  I pulled the covers up, relishing the delicious bite to the air. “Do you work out?”

  He came into the room, turning the fan on with a smile.

  “I sh
ould probably start,” I added, staring shamelessly.

  Tilting his head, he peeled the sheet back and looked me over. “You look good.”

  “Thanks, but…”

  “No more yoga with Ivy and Emma?” he teased, climbing in with me.